Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families
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how men perceive rapists and, 89–90
rap music, 5, 6
Reagan, Ronald, 244
reality TV shows, 6, 7. See also specific shows
“recreational users,” 215
Red Light District, 121
Regency Pictures, 6
Reifler, Myron B., 83
rejection, 33, 39–40, 43
relationships, 28, 138–72
porn addiction and, 186–87, 220–25, 230–33
problems, porn as outlet for, 42
problems created by porn, 128, 178–79, 244, 246, 260–61, 267
religious men, 20–21
religious Right, 257–59
Republicans, 249, 252
Rogers, Henry, 20
Rolling Stone, 5
Roman Catholic church, 101
Ross, Carlin, 111
Royalle, Candida, 122
Rules of Attraction, The (film), 7
Rushdie, Salman, 6, 240
Russell, Diana, 123, 160
sadomasochism, 78, 160, 226
Saltz, Gail, 142–43
Salzman, Marian, 246
satellite television
“community standards” and, 252
profits for porn in, 54–55
satiation, and increasing violence, 59
“satisfaction dilemma,” 90
Savage, Dan, 241
Savage, Michael, 246
scatological porn, 88
Schneider, Jennifer P., 155, 163, 232–33
schools
Internet porn and, 176–77
sex education and, 189
Schwartz, Mark, 105, 140, 142, 155, 157, 198–99
secrecy, 161–63
Self, 130
self-esteem, 104, 223
self-objectification, 105–6
serial killers, 257
Sex, Lies, & Politics (Flynt), 250
sex and sexuality
belief porn improves, 143–144
of boys and teens, 198–99, 204–5
boys’ expectations of, 188
callousness, among men who watch porn, 152
cheapened by porn, 81, 248
effect of porn on children’s, 186–87, 202
equated with porn, 241
less arousing than porn, 153
negative effects of porn on men’s, 3, 70–71, 77, 80, 82–84, 90–91, 95–96, 178–80, 188, 231–32, 261
porn vs., 97–98, 204, 232–33
positive effects of porn on, 73
self-centered, 232
skewed view of men on, 161
thinking of porn during, 67
Sex and the City, 113
sex chat rooms, 15
sex education
conservatives oppose, 257
lack of, in schools, 189
porn seen as, 18–19
sexism, 52–53. See also objectification of women; power
sex offender registration laws, 192
sex therapists, 73, 144, 147, 169
sex toys, 120, 121
sexual dysfunction, 42. See also delayed ejaculation; erectile dysfunction
sexually abusive children, 199
“sexually compulsive” users, 215. See also addiction to pornography
Shaw, Harold, 194
Showtime, 19, 54, 68
Sims, 185
60 Minutes (TV show), 247
Smithiegirls (Web site), 114
“Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle” (video), 5
socialization, of men vs. women, 131
softcore porn, 4, 5, 80
Spears, Britney, 5, 203
Spice channel (cable TV network), 18, 55
Spice Entertainment, 55
Spielman, Marlene, 161–62, 165
Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, 17, 68–69, 134, 236
Squirm magazine, 114–15
Steinem, Gloria, 121, 258
Stern, Howard, 7, 13, 68, 181
Stevens, Kerry Dwayne, 195
Stewart, Potter, 256
Stiletto (TV series), 111
Strauss, Neil, 7
“Street Dilemma, The,” 40
stress, 35, 40, 218
strip clubs, 18, 19, 31, 36, 64–65, 105, 165, 225, 230, 267, 268
women and, 109–11, 126, 136–37
Striperella (TV cartoon), 184
Stripped (album), 184
Stripped (film), 111
Stuff, 68
Suicide, Missy, 271
Suicidegirls.com, 112, 271
Super Bowl 2004, 67–68
Surreal Life, The (TV show), 7
Sweet Action (magazine), 248
Taboo (film), 51
Tanner, Jerome, 87
Taormino, Tristan, 270
technology, 49–50, 58–60, 62
teenage boys, 39–40, 177–78, 180–81
child porn and, 198–99
teenage girls, 182–84
teen porn sites, 197
television. See also
cable TV and specific shows
mainstream cable shows, 6
profitablity of porn on, 54–55
V-chip, 207
Tessina, Tina, 154–55, 162
Thrust (TV show), 111
Timberlake, Justin, 67–68
Time Warner, 64
Time Warner cable, 6
Today Show (TV show), 142–43
Turan, Kenneth, 110, 24, 7
12-step programs, 199–201, 212, 216–17, 236
Two in the Seat #3 (video), 121–22
Underneath It All (Lords), 266
Unfaithful (film), 123
U.S. Congress, 206
U.S. Customs Department, 192
U.S. Department of Justice, 202
U.S. Department of Justice, Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section, 192
U.S. President’s Commission on Obscenity and Pornography report (1970), 244, 245
Usenet groups, 58, 59, 60
Us magazine, 109
U.S. Supreme Court, 191, 206, 250, 251, 253
VCR, 245
Very Dirty Dancing (video), 74
VH-1 (cable network), 5–6, 203
victimization culture, 272–73
Victoria’s Secret TV specials, 5
video game culture, 180, 181, 185
video-on-demand, 111
videos, 5, 18, 51, 54, 58, 60, 173
homemade porn, 182–84
violence, 8, 58–59, 62, 65–66, 79, 88, 121
children and, 188
Vivid Entertainment, 65
Vivid Video, 55
Vodafone, 264
VTX, 63
Wal-Mart, 185
Washington Post, 206
WB (TV network), 7
Weaver, Jim, 181–82
Websense, 59
Weiss, Robert, 216
Weltzer, Wendy, 87
Whitehouse.org, 205
“Why Nice Guys Like Online Porn” (“Jake”), 12, 19
wireless porn, 63–64
Wirthlin Worldwide, 252
Wolf, Naomi, 152
wolf cards, 2
women
airbrushing of, in magazines, 23
blame selves when men turn to porn, 168–71
brain processing of porn by, 118–19
claim to tolerate men’s porn, 150–53
deceived by boyfriends about porn, 28, 98–102, 161–62
degradation of, 80, 81, 86, 126–27, 131–33, 248
dislike men looking at porn, 147–48
executives in porn industry, 111
expectations of, affected by porn, 19, 36, 38, 78–81, 89–95, 104, 133, 186, 188, 199, 212, 221–22, 246
fear of, 39
feel inadequate vs. porn stars, 156–59
how pornography is viewed by, 107–37
increasing use of porn by, 112–19, 243
involved with porn addicts, 231–33
labeled anti-sex for opposing porn, 274–75
loneliness of porn-infused sex and, 152–
53
men in porn chat rooms on, 37–38
men’s views on porn and, 134–37
men unable to be aroused by real, 70–71
need to speak out against porn, 266
objectification of, 32–33, 45, 80–82, 127–31, 212, 220–22
porn addict’s inability to relate to, 221–25
porn as commercialization of, 275
porn for, 270
porn harms relationships, 141
portrayal of, in porn, 22
power of, and men’s need for porn, 34–35, 242
as producers and consumers of porn, 271
reaction of, to porn viewing by boyfriends, 47–48, 57–58
reality of porn and, 270–76
real life, vs. porn, 43–45, 47, 78–80, 135, 222–25, 243
rights of, ignored, 250
sexual behavior of, influenced by porn, 127–31
as tools for reproduction, 29
traditional views of, on porn, 108
urged to be open-minded about porn, 109
who don’t like porn, 124–29, 134
who love porn, 109–12, 136, 272
women’s magazines, 5, 109
women’s movement, 272
women’s rights, 89–90
Women: Stories of Passion: Grip Till It Hurts (TV show), 68
workplace, 29–31, 35–36, 48
XTCMobile.com, 63
Yella, DJ, 6
Young Miss magazine, 4
Zarrow, Sarah, 114
Zillmann, Dolf, 73, 77–78, 80, 89–90, 141, 226, 243, 245
Zogby poll, 13–14
Zoldbrod, Aline, 145, 151, 188–90
About the Author
PAMELA PAUL is a contributor to Time magazine and the author of The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony. Previously a senior editor at American Demographics and a correspondent for The Economist, she has written for such publications as Psychology Today, Elle, Self, Marie Claire, Ladies’ Home Journal, and The New York Times Book Review.
*This Kinsey poll was a voluntary online survey whose results are interesting and valid, but not nationally representative. The results do not reflect the population of the United States, but are more likely to represent Internet users interested in talking to the Kinsey Institute about pornography.
*While this Zogby poll is old, particularly in terms of Internet time, it is nationally representative and therefore methodologically more valid than an online poll such as the Kinsey Institute’s.
*Like the Kinsey poll, this poll was a voluntary online survey whose results are interesting and valid, but not nationally representative. The results likely represent the readers of Elle magazine and the users of the MSBNC.com Web site.
*Tyler defines “sex” strictly as vaginal intercourse.
*This site was referred to in several newspaper articles in 2003, yet by 2004 it could not be located online. It may have been hidden or removed from the Internet.
*“Freak” is commonly used to denote a person who enjoys pornography and/or adventurous sex.
† Several months after our interview, Keisha and her husband got divorced.
*Imagine how much higher the number of incidents by 2005—an eon in Internet time.
*Common chat abbreviation for “laugh out loud.”
*Steinem worked undercover as a Playboy Bunny and then wrote about her experience in New York magazine.
“A SHARP REBUKE TO PORN’S GLAMORIZATION.” —LOS ANGELES TIMES BOOK REVIEW
Porn America is everywhere—not just in cybersex and Playboy magazine but in popular video games, advice columns, reality television shows, and the bestseller lists. Even more striking, as porn has become affordable, accessible, and anonymous, it has become increasingly socially acceptable—and a big part of the personal lives of many men and women.
In this controversial and critically acclaimed book, Pamela Paul argues that as porn becomes more pervasive, it is destroying our marriages and families as well as distorting our children’s ideas of sex and sexuality. Based on more than one hundred interviews and a nationally representative poll, Pornified exposes how porn has infiltrated our lives, from the wife agonizing over the late-night hours her husband spends on porn sites to the parents stunned to learn their twelve-year-old son has seen a hardcore porn film.
Pornified is an insightful, shocking, and important investigation into the costs and consequences of pornography for our families and our culture.
“Does for pornography what Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation did for junk food—shinin light on a vast industry most of us have spent little time thinking about.” —Connecticut Post
“An alarming, thought-provoking overview of today’s cyber-sexual society Connecticut Post” —The Seattle Times
“Paul sets out to scare readers about the effects of pornography on America, succeeds mightily.” —St Louis Post-Dispatch
PAMELA PAUL is a contributor to Time magazine and the author of The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony. Formerly a senior editor at American Demographics, she writes for such publications as Psychology Today, Self, Marie Claire, Ladies’ Home Journal, The Economist, and The New York Times Book Review. She lives in New York.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Contents
Author’s Note
Introduction: A Pornified World
1 A Guy Thing: Why Men Look at Porn
2 How We Got Here: Life in the Porn Lane
3 Me and My Porn: How Pornography Affects Men
4 Porn Stars, Lovers, and Wives: How Women See Pornography
5 You and Me and Pornography: How Porn Affects Relationships
6 Born into Porn: Kids in a Pornified Culture
7 Fantasy and Reality: Pornography Compulsion
8 The Truth about Pornography
Conclusion: The Censure-Not-Censor Solution
Notes
Acknowledgments
Index
About the Author
Footnotes
Page 13
Page 14
Page 15
Page 94
Page 114
Page 130
Page 176
Page 207
Page 258