Courage was what she needed. Arianna was determined to find that courage, the strength to banish the fear Claud had bred in her, and accept what Brian offered. She was a widow and could indulge herself without fear of much censure. By the time they stopped for the night again, she wanted to be ready to find out the truth. She wanted to prove all Claud had made her believe of herself as a woman was no more than another one of his lies.
Chapter 6
An inn. From the stupor of exhaustion she had fallen into, Arianna roused herself enough to smile. For almost two days she and Brian had done little more than ride, take a short rest, and ride some more. The inn was a little worn down but it looked like the finest castle to her. For at least one night she would be sleeping in a bed beneath a roof. Even better, she might be able to eat something besides rabbit.
“’Tis nay verra fine but ’tis clean and the food is good,” said Brian as he helped her down from her mount. “There is but one wee thing we need to agree on ere we go inside.”
“And what is that?” She frowned when he did not immediately answer, even looked a little nervous, and then guilt swept over her. “Oh. I fear ye will have to wait for my share of the cost until I can reach my family. All my coin went down with the ship. Do ye have enough coin e’en without me adding something?”
“Dinnae fret o’er the cost. I have enough. Nay, ’tis just that we will be getting only one room. That is what I needed to speak about.”
Brian hoped she would not think he was making them share a room so that he could get her into a bed and into his arms. He wanted to, no question about that, but he had to wait until she was ready to be there. His body was tied up in knots only she could untie, but he could wait until she was ready. He just prayed that would not take too long.
Arianna struggled to think clearly enough to understand exactly what he was saying. The man had revealed a desire for her but she did not believe he was a man who would trick or force any woman to share her favors with him. He could not know that she had decided it was time to cast aside her fears and let him show her what passion was. Something she would have done by now if they had stopped for more than the briefest of rests.
Perhaps, she thought, it was a matter of a lack of coin despite his claim that he had enough, but that did not make much sense, either. If he had so little coin he would not have even brought her to an inn. She rubbed a hand over her forehead, deciding that thinking about it was just confusing her, not gaining her one single answer. She needed to stop bouncing around on top of a horse and let her mind clear.
“Why are we getting only one room?” she asked.
“I dinnae think it would be safe for us to be separated. If the need to flee this place comes, we can do it more swiftly if we are together. There will be two pairs of ears to catch every sound, two sets of eyes to catch sight of any threat or, at least, to see a little more clearly. And there would be no time lost if trouble came, no need for one of us to try and warn the other.”
“Oh, of course.”
Arianna was not sure why she was worried about sharing a room at an inn with the man since she had been alone with him for six long days. She had already shared a cave with him, and slept close around a fire with him. And she had also decided to let the desire that flared between them have free rein, which would certainly be more easily done if they were sharing a room. Yet, strangely, the thought of sharing a room with him, a room with a bed, had her stomach tied up in knots. Suspecting that was Claud’s poison affecting her, she did her best to push aside that tension.
“But ... what will ye tell them?” she asked. “How will ye explain why the two of us need only one room?”
“I doubt we will be asked the why of it. Molly isnae one to ask many questions,” he replied as he took his pack of supplies from the back of the horse.
Before she could ask him how he could be so certain of that and ask just who Molly was, he grasped her by the hand and pulled her toward the scarred door of the inn. Arianna could think of many reasons why he was so sure the innkeepers would ask no questions and none of them pleased her very much. The one reason that troubled her the most was the possibility that he had brought other women to this inn and often enough that the innkeeper would feel he knew why she was at his side. The thought that she had decided to give herself to a man who frolicked all too often with women was not a comfortable one.
She was opening her mouth to actually ask him if this was some favorite trysting place when a very round woman with a large wart on her chin stepped in front of them just inside the door of the inn. Arianna was glad of the interruption. Asking Sir Brian about his trysting habits was not a good idea. It was truly none of her business where or how often he did his trysting, she told herself firmly. All she wanted of him was to show her that she could not only feel passion but make the man in her arms feel it, too. She was fairly sure it was all a man like him could offer her anyway. From what she recalled of the tales of the MacFingals, none of them understood the word constancy.
“Ye are a MacFingal,” the woman said in a surprisingly deep voice as she placed her big, work-worn hands on her ample hips. “Dinnae tell me which one,” she snapped when Sir Brian opened his mouth to tell her his name. “I am trying to learn who be who as ye seem to be coming round here more often.”
That did not sound good at all, Arianna thought. She had an image of Sir Brian wandering in and out of the inn with a long line of buxom, willing women. It was not something that should bother her. He was simply her protector and might yet become her lover, a man who was helping her get to her family and safety while showing her all about passion. But it did bother her. A lot. That was not good for it implied that she felt a lot more for him than gratitude or lust, saw him as far more than an honorable man and one of a clan that was helping to keep her and her boys alive until they could be safely placed under the protection of her family. She could not allow herself to become entangled with a man.
“Aha!” The woman slapped him on the shoulder. “Sir Brian.”
“Verra good, Molly.” Brian grinned. “’Tis nay so verra easy to tell us all apart.”
“Nay, true enough. There are a lot of ye lads and ye are all, to a mon, big, handsome devils. I am thinking your fither left a verra strong mark on all of ye, aye?”
“Aye, he surely did.”
“Just how many of ye are there? More than those rogues the Camerons?”
“A lot more. The old Cameron laird died after breeding a mere dozen or so but our fither is still verra much alive.” He winked at her.
Molly laughed, a loud, raucous sound, and slapped Sir Brian on the arm again. “Rogues. Naught but a lot of handsome rogues. Ye lot and those thrice-cursed Camerons. So, ye will be wanting my best room, aye?”
“Aye, I would and, Molly? If anyone comes looking for us, we are nay here and ye have ne’er set eyes on us.”
She nodded. “Helped yourself to someone’s daughter, have ye?”
Arianna was just opening her mouth to answer what she saw as a slur upon Sir Brian’s honor when he gripped her arm so tightly she feared there would be bruises left behind. She understood the silent warning. What she did not understand was why he would want the woman to think he was such a man, one who would spirit away someone’s daughter for a tryst at a lowly inn. Unless he was such a man, she thought, and scowled at him. He did not see her disapproval, however, for his gaze was fixed upon Molly. Since she had already decided a MacFingal could not be constant, the one thing she would insist upon if she ever became interested in marriage again, she was also being very contrary to take umbrage at Molly implying the same thing. Arianna inwardly shrugged, and scowled at him again.
“Any Frenchmen come here, Molly my beauty, and I want to ken about it.”
“If ye havenae already slipped away, eh? Weel, best ye pay me all I will be due right now. I am getting too old to be chasing young laddies down the road. The will is there but nay the strength.” She slapped her knee and laughed.
&nbs
p; A look of confusion and then anger passed over Sir Brian’s face before he joined in with Molly’s laughter. Arianna recognized that look. She had seen it often enough on the faces of her kinsmen. Sir Brian had just heard something he had not understood, had thought it over, guessed what was meant, and was not at all pleased. Some of Sir Brian’s brothers were probably going to get a hard lesson when he next saw them. She ignored how relieved she was over the indication that Sir Brian was not some lecher who made regular visits to the inn with a different lady on his arm every time.
When the woman named her price, Arianna was prepared to call it nothing less than base thievery. But then Sir Brian laughed, flung his arm around the woman’s wide shoulders, and began to bargain with her with a skill that many of her kinswomen would have envied. It quickly became evident that this was exactly what the woman wanted and thoroughly enjoyed.
It also became quickly evident that Molly considered Arianna of as little interest as she did the packs Sir Brian carried. She did not know whether to be amused or insulted and decided she was a little bit of both. The MacFingal laddies obviously used this inn as a trysting site with some regularity even if Sir Brian did not. Molly had decided that Arianna was just another woman one of the MacFingals would enjoy for a little while and then blithely discard.
The room they were led to came as a pleasant surprise to Arianna. The inn looked worn on the outside, but Molly clearly took great pride in keeping the inside very clean and well appointed. There was a large, high bed with ample pillows and linen, plus two chairs and a table set before a small fireplace. A wooden privacy screen in the corner undoubtedly held what was needed to clean up, perhaps even the chamber pot.
“A maid will be up soon as I have requested a bath,” said Brian as he put his packs down on the bed.
“A real bath? Heated water and all?” Arianna wanted to push him down onto the bed and kiss him senseless.
“Aye.” He grinned. “Molly drove a hard bargain for it but I thought we both deserved one. All I ask is that ye dinnae linger until the water chills.”
“Nay, I swear I shall leave ye some of that heat.” She looked around the room and then frowned. “Where will the bath go?”
“Right before the fireplace. As soon as it is brought up, I will go down to see about a hot meal and give ye some privacy.”
Even as she was thanking him there was a rap at the door. A boy entered with the round wooden tub followed by two maids with buckets of heated water. It was obvious that Molly kept some water readied for such requests.
“I believe Molly must get enough of my brothers and cousins here to ken that having water ready for a bath is worth the trouble,” Brian whispered in her ear. “The woman kens how to keep those who use her inn coming back time and time again.”
“Verra wise.”
It took several trips by the maids to fill the tub, and Arianna was doing her best not to get impatient. The moment they set two buckets of water in front of the fireplace so that extra heated water could be added or some could be used to rinse, Arianna began to unlace her gown. When the door shut behind them, she almost tore her clothes off. A sigh of pleasure escaped her as she sank her body into the hot water. It had been too long since she had enjoyed a hot bath.
Despite the temptation of it, she savored the way the heat eased all the aches in her body for just a short time and then began to wash. She scrubbed her hair until it squeaked, wrapped it in a large drying cloth, and then began to scrub the dust of travel from her body. There was no denying how much she had missed pampering herself in such a way, and she promised herself that she would do very little traveling after this journey was at an end.
Realizing that some of the heat was already fading from the water, she climbed out of the tub and dried herself off. Since she would have to allow Brian the same privacy he had allowed her, she dressed in the gown Brian had bought for her in the last village. Once he was done, she would wash the one she had been wearing in the bath before it was emptied. She was in the midst of rubbing her hair dry when a rap came at the door.
“’Tis Brian, Arianna.”
“Come in. There is an extra bucket of heated water by the fire,” she said as he came into the room. “I used the other one to rinse with. I will go into the hall while you bathe.”
He frowned. “I am nay sure that is a good idea.”
“I will stay right outside the door.” She extracted a comb from the pack. “It will take me a while to do my hair. That will keep me busy and I will be close enough for ye to hear me if there is trouble.”
Brian did not have a good argument against her plan so he let her go. He firmly told himself that Molly would never allow anyone to drag Arianna away without at least making an uproar. After assuring himself that she was staying just outside the door, he stripped off his clothes and climbed into the tub. He washed his hair and bathed as quickly as he could, not wishing to leave her alone and unguarded for long.
It was not until he was dressing that he looked around the room, at the one bed, and knew it was going to be a very long night. After the talk they had when she had fled his arms for the second time, neither of them had mentioned the incident again. There would have been some awkwardness if they had not been working so hard to stay out of Amiel’s clutches. There had been little time for rest, let alone kissing or talking. Now, however, they were both clean, would soon have full bellies, and then they would be climbing into the same bed.
He wondered if she had thought about all he had said. Brian wanted to believe he had been clear spoken and his words wise but he was not sure of that. Attempting to convince a woman that she was beautiful and desirable when she had been told for years that she was not was not easy. He had certainly never confronted such a problem before despite having knowledge of how damaging words could be. If he were wise, he would get another room so that he did not have to spend the night sharing a bed with a woman he desired and could not touch.
There was no other choice, he decided, after considering it for a moment longer. He had to keep her close to him to be able to keep her safe. Brian only briefly considered sleeping on the floor. After days of sleeping on the hard ground he was not about to give up the chance to sleep in a bed. If she insisted on keeping some distance between them, he could roll up the blankets and place them between their bodies. He could only pray that he could get some sleep with her so close at hand yet so unreachable.
The moment he let her into the room, she hurried to rinse out their clothing. She was draping their wet clothes over the chairs she had set before the fire when the boy and the maids returned to empty the bath. As he sat beside Arianna on the bed watching her braid her hair, he tried to sense if she was nervous or afraid. When all he could see in her face and posture was a quiet contentment, he began to relax. She might not be ready to let him become her lover but at least she was not going to cause any trouble about them sharing the room. He was getting a little weary of suffering for that idiot Claud’s many sins against her.
As soon as the youth carried away the now empty bath, two maids arrived with the food Brian had ordered. The scent of warm bread and roasted chicken made his stomach growl. Brian smiled faintly when Arianna laughed and then he dragged the table over to the side of the bed.
“I didnae think on how we would have need of those chairs for our meal,” Arianna said as Brian sliced off large pieces of the chicken and set them on her plate.
“Our clothes needed the washing. Eat up, love. We will be back to oatcakes and the occasional rabbit all too soon.” He grinned when she groaned but then turned his full attention to his meal, unable to ignore the needs of his stomach any longer.
Arianna looked at her shift and sighed, then hoped that Brian could not hear her behind the privacy screen where she had gone to change for bed. The worn, roughly mended shift was not something to wear to entice a man—even if she knew how to be enticing. The only improvement in her appearance for days was that she was clean. She now wished she had saved the
plain linen shift Brian had bought along with the extra gown instead of immediately donning it. It might be a very plain shift, but it was unstained and not mended.
She shrugged. It was all she had and she would not allow that to stop her. Tonight, in that big soft bed, she intended to conquer her fears, to silence Claud’s insidious whispers in her mind. Arianna knew it was too soon to completely banish the man and rid herself of his poison, but she could prove to herself that the one who had failed in their marriage bed had been Claud, not her. It did not matter that the whole marriage was a lie, for that did not change how he had left her believing that she was a failure in the art of love. Tonight she intended to find out if that was true. Taking a deep breath to shore up her courage, she stepped out from behind the screen and started to walk toward the bed.
The sight of Brian already in the bed, propped up by pillows, his broad chest bared to her view, made her steps falter. Arianna tried not to stare at his chest but it was hard to resist. The man had a broad chest taut with muscle and adorned with only a small patch of dark hair. His skin was smooth and faintly swarthy in color. It also showed her that she was about to take on an awful lot of man as a lover. Someone so handsome and virile might not be the best choice for her first attempt to discover if she could be a passionate lover.
Stiffening her backbone and refusing to allow uncertainty to change her mind, she climbed into the bed. Lying close by Brian’s side, she imitated his pose and stared up at the ceiling. Now all she had to do was say something that would let him know she was ready to test the passion that flared between them. Unfortunately, her mind offered her not one suggestion. She had never really requested Claud’s attentions and lying on her back staring up at the ceiling was all he had ever really required of her.
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