Edge of Awareness

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Edge of Awareness Page 10

by C. A. Popovich


  “Hi, Ang. I’m glad you got back to me.” She moved to give Angie a hug, but stopped midway when Angie stepped back. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m not sure, Mar. I’ve done a terrible thing. I can’t believe I could even do such a thing, but I did. I’m so sorry.” Angie covered her face with her hands. Maria was glad that they’d chosen a booth at the back of the restaurant. Evidently, they were going to need a bit of privacy.

  “What happened?”

  Angie shook her head while still holding her head in her hands. “I can’t believe I was such a fool. I’m so sorry.” Angie began crying uncontrollably as she tried to sob out her confession. “I was such a fool.”

  “You’re scaring me, Angie. What happened?” She stroked Angie’s arms in an attempt to sooth her.

  “Oh, Maria. You’re such a wonderful person. I’m so sorry.” Again, Angie held her head, but now her sobs were snivels.

  “What happened?”

  Angie straightened her back, visibly collecting herself. “I have something to tell you. I had an affair with your husband.”

  Maria stared at her for a full minute, stunned. Peter must have been the “dapper” man Gloria had seen with Angie. Maria balled her hands into fists. Peter was an idiot, but Angie was a trusted friend. Why would she betray that friendship? She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry he took advantage of you, and I’m sorry you chose to ignore our friendship. You know he’s no longer my husband. Our divorce is final now. You had an affair with a manipulative and unscrupulous man.”

  “I’m so sorry. Really. I don’t know why I did it. Kevin and I…Oh God. I don’t know. He told me he loved me. He said he’d never met anyone like me before and wanted to marry me as soon as your divorce was final. I told him I was already married and I had to have some time to talk to my husband. I guess he didn’t want to wait. Sunday, I saw him at the back of the church parking lot in his car kissing Gloria.”

  “I’m sorry you went through that, but you’re not the only one. I found out he’d been having affairs for years. That’s why I left him.”

  They waited to continue their conversation until the server left, which gave Maria a moment to breathe and regroup.

  “I’ve been such a fool. I believed him, you know? I got swept up by his charm, and Kevin and I have been having some difficulties lately.” Angie paused to take a sip of coffee. “I don’t know how, or even if, I can tell him.”

  “Whether or not you tell Kevin, you still have to live with yourself, Ang. I know Kevin is devoted to you. You two can work it out if you both want to.” Maria stopped to take a sip of her coffee.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I appreciate your understanding. I hope we can still be friends.”

  “I can’t say I’m not hurt by your lie and that it’s okay. It’s not, but we were over anyway, and it took courage for you to tell me about it. As for Peter, he’s a jerk, but I completely get how charming he can be. I’d like to see you and Kevin work out your differences, and I’d still like to call you a friend.” Maria wrapped her hands around her coffee cup before continuing. “Speaking of friends, I have to ask you why you lied about me and Peter to Dana that day at church. She said you told her that Peter and I were happily married and he came to the service to support me. You knew we were getting a divorce.”

  “She’s a lesbian. She needs to repent, Maria. You know that as well as I do. I had to try to make her understand.”

  “So she’s a lesbian. So she loves women instead of men. Why do you think God wouldn’t love her like He loves you or me, or anyone else? She’s a child of God as we all are. He’ll touch her heart and she will or she won’t respond. That’s the free will God gave us. He wants our love to be freely given, not forced by some human interpreted rule. It’s up to God to decide if she’s in need of repentance, not you.”

  “I don’t know. I guess you’re right.” Angie’s puzzled look made Maria smile. She squeezed Angie’s hand before speaking.

  “I never thought of any of this before either. Not until I met someone I cared about who was gay. Let’s get out of here. I have to get back to make a phone call.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Dana flung the sickly sweet smelling bouquet of flowers in the trash. The card, with sloppy scrawl that read, I MISS YOU BABY, made her grimace. If she ignored her long enough, surely she’d just go away.

  It’d been over a week since Maria had said she was going to her parents’ house and Dana struggled with the decision to call her. She did need a haircut, and she had to let her know about Leanne. She wasn’t sure what the woman was capable of, but she didn’t want to take a chance that she might hurt Maria. She’d scared her with all her knowledge of Maria’s whereabouts. It wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, and it might ruin any chance of even a friendship between them, but she felt like she had to warn her.

  Her phone rang just as she decided to call. “Hi.” Dana didn’t try to disguise the delight in her voice. “No, this is a good time. In fact, I was just going to call you. You’re obviously back from your trip…yeah, I’d love to hear all about it…I’d like that. We can meet for coffee, but I did want to ask if you could trim my hair again. It’s getting shaggy…no, I wouldn’t mind at all. I’ll be there. Saturday at four thirty. See you then.” It was going to be a long week, and the anticipation of seeing Maria again would make it seem even longer.

  *

  Maria’s shop looked the same as the first time Dana had been there. This time Frankie greeted her at the door.

  “Well, hi there, little guy. You here keeping your mom company today?” Dana reached down and picked up the squirming dog before looking around for Maria. She turned just as Maria came from the back room, and her throat went dry. She was even more stunning than she remembered. Her cheeks were rosy, like she’d gotten some sun, and her whole demeanor was more relaxed. She wore a pair of faded low-cut jeans and a rose-colored sweater that hugged her enticing curves.

  “Hi.” Maria spoke first, quietly. Hesitant.

  Dana wondered if she was as tongue-tied as she was. “Hi.” She inwardly grimaced at the high pitch of her voice.

  “You don’t have to hold him you know.” Maria hadn’t moved or looked away.

  Dana had forgotten all about the little dog snuggled in her arms. “I don’t mind. He’s such a social little guy.” Dana spoke without breaking eye contact. The rose of Maria’s cheeks seemed to darken, and she was grateful for Frankie in her arms because she was certain if he weren’t already in them, Maria would be. She had to pull herself together. This straight woman was her friend. This straight woman was going to cut her hair. That’s all. She gently set Frankie on the floor and turned to look around the room. “You rearranged things.”

  “Yeah. I needed a little more room. I don’t think I told you, I live here. When my ex-husband and I split, Justin helped me move into the back room. It’s small, but Frankie and I’ve been making do. I may look for an apartment now that my alimony checks have started. Come on over to the sink and I’ll get your hair washed.”

  “I’m glad you called me,” Dana said after she settled into the salon chair facing the mirror. The same place she’d first become smitten. “I have something important to talk to you about.” Dana nearly groaned at the feel of Maria’s hands on her shoulders. But she stayed still, worried that if she shifted even a breath, Maria would remove them.

  Maria squeezed her shoulders to interrupt her. “Can we wait to talk about anything heavy until later? I’d like to take you to dinner. Just up to the little family dining place at the end of the street. We can talk serious talk then.”

  “Serious talk. Hm. That sounds ominous.” Dana smiled and Maria’s warm laughter rewarded her.

  “Thank you. I haven’t laughed in a while. It feels good.”

  “You’re quite welcome. I like hearing you laugh. You deserve to feel like laughing. Dinner sounds great. I’d love to go wi
th you and do serious talk.”

  Maria laughed again when Dana raised her eyebrows a few times when she said the word serious.

  “On the phone you said your trip to Ohio went well. How are your parents doing?”

  “They’re well. Mom loves to cook. I think I’d weigh five hundred pounds if I lived closer and saw them more often.”

  Dana laughed at Maria’s comment but refrained from telling her how alluring her curves were. “How’d Frankie do on the trip?”

  “He travels really well. I put him in his crate in the backseat and usually don’t hear a peep out of him the entire time.”

  Maria squirted Dana’s hair with a spray bottle and continued snipping.

  Their conversation stopped while Maria finished Dana’s haircut and Dana stepped into the waiting area while Maria swept up. Butterflies fluttered in Dana’s stomach as she watched Maria’s precise, graceful movements.

  “Ready?” Maria’s voice rescued her from lapsing into the fantasy of kissing her.

  “Absolutely. I’m famished.”

  Maria locked the door behind them and they walked to the diner in silence. Dana wanted to think of this as a date but recognized how unwise that would be.

  *

  The restaurant was crowded with gray-haired couples having their early dinner when Maria and Dana walked in. The young woman who seated them looked to be about twelve.

  “Do you think that little girl is old enough to drive?” she whispered to Dana after they sat down and the girl took their drink order.

  “Nope. I think she’s a sixth grader who needs to work to support her pregnant mother and out-of work father. She probably lied about her age to get the job.” Dana sat back in her seat shaking her head looking so serious Maria almost thought she wasn’t kidding until the sparkle in her calm blue eyes gave her away.

  “You’re probably right,” she said with just as much seriousness. “But I think she’s probably in high school. Easier to get a fake ID.”

  Now it was Dana’s turn to laugh, and Maria allowed herself to enjoy the sound.

  “Enough already. Let’s get serious.” Dana squinted, drew her brows together, and laughed again. “I do have something to tell you that may or may not be worth mentioning, but I don’t want to take a chance.” She was interrupted by the waitress coming to take their order. After they ordered, Maria took the lead.

  “I want to say something before you tell me what you want to tell me, okay?”

  “Sure. Go ahead.” Dana sat back and cupped her hands around her coffee cup.

  “First, I want to apologize. I’ll admit I invited you to church because Angie told me about seeing you kissing a woman at one of the dog shows.” Maria took a deep breath before continuing. This might be harder than she anticipated. “I thought it was my responsibility to offer you a way to Christ. A way to repent and find salvation. I realize now that it’s not up to me to try to change you. Everyone has their own path to follow in this life, in this world. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not apologizing for my faith, or for the offer to attend church. I’m just sorry I didn’t talk to you about it first. I’d like to think I’m more direct than that, and I wasn’t sure how to bring up the subject. I want you to know the love of the Lord, but I have no right to force it on you. It’s God’s responsibility to show you the way. If you want to go to church with me, I’d love it. But I won’t ask again.” Maria leaned back in her chair and mirrored Dana’s pose by cupping her hands around her coffee cup. She almost wished she’d chosen a place that served wine. She could use a sip of courage right now. The server returned with their order in time to defuse her growing unease.

  “Thank you for telling me all that.” Dana turned her coffee cup in her hand a few times before continuing. “It hurt to hear Angie tell me you only invited me to your church to have me repent. I told you I was lesbian because I wanted to be honest with you, but I could have, and maybe I should have, told you that when we first met. It’s not something that I think about, really. I am who I am. These days, there’s a lot less prejudice against gay people, but even so, it’s not something that I just tell someone when I first meet them. I mean, you don’t meet someone new and say, ‘Hi, I’m Maria, a heterosexual,’ do you? It’s the same thing. I know that it’s most likely assumed that someone isn’t gay and there is the, I don’t know, surprise factor, when they find out their assumption was incorrect. I guess what I’m trying to bungle my way through to say, is that I didn’t intentionally not tell you. I’m not ashamed of who I am, and I feel no need to repent of anything. In fact, if you were a lesbian, I’d have let you know right away. I’d have definitely asked you out on a date. I liked you from the first time I met you, but I didn’t get the feeling you were a lesbian, and I didn’t want to jeopardize a potential friendship. I’m sorry that you felt I needed to change in order for God to love me. I disagree.”

  “You’d have asked me out on a date?” Maria was genuinely surprised. She wasn’t sure what the protocols were of lesbian dating, but she knew when dating men, it always involved the expectation of sex. Was it the same with lesbians? She surprised herself with her desire to find out.

  “Yeah, I’d have asked you out. You’re a beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman. I’m sure you’ll have lots of men wanting to date you when you’re ready.”

  Maria slumped in her seat, deflated. The thought of dating a man again felt punishing. Would she ever be ready again? Did she want to be?

  “You okay?” Dana looked genuinely concerned. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. No, not at all. I’m just a little tired. I’ve been working a lot since I got home. I’m glad you explained. I just…I don’t know. What did you want to tell me?” Maria pushed her food around with her fork.

  “Well, I told you I was a lesbian. There’s a bar that I go to regularly. It’s a straight bar all week, but on every other Saturday it becomes a gay bar. It’s mostly women, so I go to meet other lesbians.” Dana shifted in her seat. “I seem to have attracted a woman who thinks I’ll ride off into the sunset with her. She’s become kind of…obsessed with me. I can deal with that, but the thing that bothers me is that she mentioned she followed you to your church. She seems to think we have a thing going and she’s jealous.” Dana took a sip of her coffee and a deep breath before continuing. “I just wanted you to be on the alert. If you see any stranger approaching you, or following you, be careful. Oh. Wait. I think you know her. At the wiener dog races, she was the vet tech for Dr. Meyers. Her name is Leanne.”

  “I remember her. She’s the one who threw herself at you. I don’t know her, but I know she works for Dr. Jay. Wow. She seemed odd, but not dangerous. I’ll keep a look out for her. Thanks for telling me.”

  As she finished speaking, Maria remembered the odd letter she’d received. “There is something weird that happened this week.”

  Dana sat up and leaned toward her.

  “I got a letter in the mail. It was a piece of paper that looked torn out of a notebook, and it had SHE’S MINE written across it. There was no return address on the envelope. Do you think it could be from her?”

  “It sure sounds like it. The last time I saw her she said something about not wanting to lose me. Damn. I’m sorry, Maria. Let me know if you get anything threatening. We’ll call the police. You ready to leave?”

  Maria didn’t want the evening to end, but she was out of her element. What did you say to someone when they admitted there might be a lesbian stalker after you? Why did she feel like she and Dana had something serious? Maria had no idea what Dana wanted, and she was beginning to wonder just what it was she wanted as well. She knew she enjoyed being with Dana, but that damned physical feeling was back, the one making her stomach feel like it was filled with butterflies. She wished she could figure out what it was and what it had to do with Dana.

  “Yeah. I’m ready. Let’s go.”

  They walked back to the shop in awkward, tense silence. Maria wondered what Dana was thinking about, and even
though she felt like she needed some time to process this stalker thing, she was reluctant to end their time together. “Thanks for the day. I’ve enjoyed your company. I’m glad we cleared the air about things,” Maria said.

  They stood in front of the shop, unmoving. She watched as emotions she couldn’t identify played over Dana’s face. She was nervous. Maria had seen Dana run her hand through her hair enough times to recognize that sign. Something else caught her attention. The darkening of her eyes and an intensity in her gaze that caused Maria to shiver.

  Finally, Dana said, “It’s only seven thirty. Would you like to take a drive?”

  “I’d like that. Just let me take Frankie out first.”

  “Cool.” Dana’s smile was enough to convince Maria she was making the right decision. She had no idea where they were headed, but she didn’t care. She just wanted more time with Dana.

  *

  “This is fantastic. What a beautiful view of the bridge.”

  Dana could tell Maria had never seen the Blue Water Bridge lit up at night, and it was one of her favorite sights. This time of year, it tended to be secluded.

  “It’s a nice evening. Would you like to walk a little? I have an extra jacket if you’re cold.”

  “I’d love to get closer if we could. I think I’m okay. I have my fleece if I need it.”

  “Let’s go then. I know a magnificent spot to see the whole bridge.” Dana grabbed Maria’s hand and led her to the most romantic spot she knew of under the Blue Water Bridge. When they got to an area where most of the lighted span was visible, they stood together quietly, gazing at the stunning view above them. Maria had left her fleece in the vehicle, and now she began to shiver slightly. Dana hesitated. She knew exactly what she wanted to do, but Maria wasn’t one of her Saturday night liaisons. Maria hugged herself and began rubbing her arms. Steeling herself for possible rejection, Dana moved behind her and wrapped her arms around Maria’s waist, pulling her close. “Does that help?” She whispered, not wanting to break the spell. Maria shivered and Dana pulled her closer. “Would you prefer my jacket?”

 

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