At dinner that night he told Aunt Amaryllis he was going to take me to luncheon at his club.
Aunt Amaryllis beamed. “That will be lovely for you, Annora,” she said and she sent one of those adoring looks in her husband’s direction. I knew she was thinking what a wonderful man he was. He was making Matthew and Helena so happy. He was such a good father as well as a perfect husband.
His dignified carriage took us to the club. There he introduced me to several members as his niece who was on a visit to London from Cornwall.
A secluded table was found for us and he ordered what he thought I should like.
He smiled at me across the table and said: “This is pleasant. I feel there are certain things we have to say to each other. My dear child, I know you are very sad at this moment. You have lost those who were very dear to you and you thought you would rush into marriage … and then you decided against it. You are rather bewildered, are you not? You don’t know quite what comes next. Moreover, you have inherited a big estate which will have to be administered. You have a good man there, I believe?”
I nodded.
“But, of course, you will have to return in due course. I was very fond of your mother, very fond indeed. At one point, I might have married her.”
“She was always in love with my father.”
“This was before your father’s return. He was in Australia serving his sentence. He had been sent away for seven years and your mother was only a child when he went. Moreover she had married …”
“I know the story. Her first husband was an invalid and he died.”
“And your father came back.”
I looked at him steadily. “She did tell me about the blackmail.”
“An interesting situation. There have been many cases of blackmail. I don’t know how many there have been of double blackmail.”
“Not so many, I suppose.”
“And I suppose you think me something of a villain. That’s what I want to talk to you about. I want to explain a good many things. You see, I admired your mother more than any woman I know. She was strong and passionate about life. She knew how to live.” He must have guessed my thoughts again for he went on quickly: “Oh, don’t think I am disparaging your Aunt Amaryllis in any way. I knew at once that she was the one for me. She has been the perfect wife. I love her dearly. Yes, Amaryllis was the one for me. I chose her because she was the sort of wife I needed. I saw that immediately.”
“You seem to see everything. There was one thing though. You didn’t see that Joe Cresswell would expose you.”
“No. I did not see that.”
“You should have … after what you had done to his father. People don’t just allow others to treat them like that.”
“I misjudged Joe. I thought he was spineless like his father. But he had something. Not enough though. Did you know they have moved to the North … the whole family? They have some business up there. Well, they chose the way they have gone … as we all do.”
“They were ruined.”
“They ruined themselves. It would have blown over. They lacked the good sense and courage to stay and fight it out.”
“As you did.”
“Yes, as I did. That is what I want to talk to you about, Annora. I want to help you get out of this slough of despondency into which you have fallen. You are so young, dear girl. Your whole life is before you. I do fully understand your feelings. To lose them all at one blow … It was shattering. And then all that it entailed. You found the estate was yours and you thought you would marry. He would have been a good husband, I think. What little I have seen of him would indicate that. But right at the eleventh hour you decided against it. Well, you know your own mind. But I think you hanker after him. Do you?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think, in your circumstances, a strong man to stand beside you would not come amiss. I think perhaps you will change your mind and marry Rolf Hanson after all.”
I was silent.
“My dearest Annora, you cannot go on mourning forever. That is not the way to live. You must look for happiness. That is the real success in life … to be happy.”
“It is strange to hear you say that. I should have thought for you it was money and power.”
“You’re right. But power and money … that is my happiness. Some people look in other directions. To get what you want. That is success, and you won’t achieve it by giving way.”
“I know you like to manipulate people. Are you thinking of doing that with me?”
He shook his head. “What I want to do for you is put you on the right road. I have seen you looking at me in a questioning manner. You are wondering about me, aren’t you? You think I am a wicked man, worldly, cynical, power-seeking, ruthless. Perhaps you are right, but I do fancy that you have a sneaking liking for me which will not be suppressed.”
I could not help smiling. He had described exactly what I felt.
“True?” he asked.
“Well … perhaps.”
He nodded. “I knew. And you are nearly right. I don’t like to see you drooping, fading away, suppressing your personality, drowning in your sorrows. Stand up and face them, Annora. You see how I’ve done it. I want you to take a lesson from me. You would have thought, wouldn’t you, that when the news broke about my business, I should have been finished. A great many men would have been. Look at Joseph Cresswell slinking away with his tail between his legs. No. I saw I had to stand my ground and I did … and I got by.”
“Circumstances worked in your favour. Peterkin and Frances with the Mission was one thing.”
“Cresswell had the same advantage. After all, Frances is his daughter. I took advantage of what was offered.”
“It must have been a god-send.”
“It was good. I have made it beneficial.”
“The money you gave to the Mission was accompanied by blazing publicity, I noticed.”
“Exactly.”
“And now Matthew?”
“Matthew is going into Parliament. I shall support him.”
“Another gift from Heaven?”
“He is married to my daughter. It will be seen that I am a supporter of good causes.”
“And when he is in Parliament?”
“I shall advise him, of course. He is a very amenable young man.”
“He will be your slave.”
“Oh come. Slavery is abolished now, you know. Let us say I may become his mentor. In five years’ time … seven at most … I shall not be so very old. Perhaps then I can do what I’ve always wanted to. Be in Parliament myself. That is the ultimate power. To make the laws of the land, to build one’s country into the greatest in the world.”
“I see you are building the foundation of your future-career which has been disturbed. You have had to start building again. But you are still determined to succeed.”
“I am being very frank with you, Annora.”
“I wonder why.”
“Because you have been astute enough to see the way I am going. I am telling you this because I want you to see what can be done. I daresay you have had moments when you thought you would never be happy again. But you can and you will. But you won’t do it if you sit nursing your sorrows. Get rid of them. Start again. Those who succeed in life are the ones who can pick themselves up and start again when they fall down. The longer you remain on the ground the harder it will be to get up. That’s what I’m telling you, Annora.”
“It is very kind of you to take so much trouble over me.”
“I am expiating my sins towards your mother. She would agree that I owed it to her. She was a very courageous woman. Oh, I was very fond of Jessica. And here you are … her daughter. Remember what I have told you. Think of how far I have come since those days when the papers blared forth evidence of my villainies. I’m living it down, just as Lord Melbourne lived down his past. Did you know that man figured in two divorce cases? He had a mad wife who blatantly flaunted her relationship with
the poet Lord Byron. Their story was one of the scandals of the age. Yet what happened to Lord Melbourne? He became Prime Minister and is now the Queen’s most devoted and dearest friend. What Melbourne did, what I can do, you can do, Annora.”
He stretched his hand across the table and took mine.
I said: “Thank you, Uncle Peter. You have helped me a lot. Should I go back to Cornwall?”
“I like your being here, of course, but you have to go back, don’t you? You have to see that man again. I think you’re hankering after him. I should find out. Then if he’ll still have you, marry him. Do you still want him?”
“I think of him … often.”
“You can’t get him out of your thoughts. I’ve seen you look at Helena and Matthew … wistfully.”
“It seems as if it might work out for them now.”
“It does indeed. Helena is not of an adventurous nature. She takes after her mother. She wants a cosy life. She is ready to step in line. This rather stresses what I have been telling you. I know the story. I know that John Milward is the baby’s father; but Matthew came along and he did his good deed. He married Helena to make life easier for her. He is a very agreeable young man. And now you see everything is going to turn out well for him … for them both. When he gets into Parliament, when he plays his part in bringing about Prison Reform he will have justified himself. His confidence will rise. I see a life of good works ahead of him for, mark my words, when he has done with Prison Reform, there will be something else. Helena will stand beside him, helped by her mother and me. She will provide the right setting for the rising politician. There will be little ones joining Jonnie in the nursery and Helena will realize that the best thing that happened to her was being jilted by John Milward and marrying Matthew purely for convenience in the first place.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “I don’t think it is going to be quite as simple as that.”
He looked at me earnestly. “But it will … if they make it so. You see what I’m getting at. Now this young man in Cornwall—you’ve known him all your life. I remember hearing that as a child you were his devoted slave. And then you grew up and were in love with him. Yes, you are. Don’t think you can deceive me. And you turn him down on some whim … just because, my dear, you are immersed in your tragedy and not making the effort to grow away from it. You allow yourself to suspect he is marrying you for your possessions. He wants Cador. So? He would be a foolish young man if he did not. Of course, he wants Cador; and for that very reason he will make a good thing of it. If he didn’t want Cador I should have a very poor opinion of him. How could he help you manage it satisfactorily if he didn’t feel delighted in having a share in it?”
“You have a certain way of reasoning …”
“I have a realistic way of reasoning. You want to feel that he would marry you if you were a little match seller. But you are not a match seller and if you were it is hardly likely that you would have met this young man. No. He wants to marry you. He loves you but that need not stop his loving Cador as well. Get rid of those romantic notions. Look at life as it really is … as I always have. And you see me as I am. I have ridden the storms, haven’t I? That is what you have to do in life, believe me.”
If it were only Cador that stood between us he might be right. But my thoughts went back to that Midsummer’s Eve.
I said: “When I was a child, I thought Rolf the most wonderful person on earth … at least one of them. He shared that honour with my father. Red-letter days were when he came to Cador which he did often with his father. Then something happened. It was Midsummer’s Eve in Cornwall. They celebrate it there with old customs going back to pre-Christian days. There was a woman who lived in the woods. People said she was a witch. On Midsummer’s Eve they burned down her house. There was one there … the leader in a kind of Druid’s robe. I believe it was Rolf because I had seen that robe in his house. It changed everything between us. It occurred to me that I did not know him at all. I felt I could not trust anyone any more, not even Rolf. And early in the morning of the day which was to have been our wedding day, I realized that it was Cador he wanted … and I just could not marry him.”
“Did you talk to him about it?”
“On the ship when we were coming home we had talked. He said he wasn’t there. He was in Bodmin.”
“Well?”
“I couldn’t quite believe him. Oh, I did at the time … but later I had so many doubts. And then I thought that he was marrying me for Cador.”
“And all because of that escapade.”
“Escapade! It was such cruelty as I had never seen before. If my father had been there he would have put a stop to it.”
“Let’s suppose the worst: that he lied about this. He was young. Young men have high spirits. Perhaps they drink a little too much. They do foolish things. They do things they regret afterwards. You must understand this. You have to forgive the sins of youth.”
“This was no ordinary little peccadillo. You should have seen that woman’s face … the terrible things they did to her.”
“People get carried away. He is a man now … and you are in love with him. The best thing you can do is marry him. I am sure the man who is looking after the place is good. He must be for your father was prepared to leave him in charge while he was away. But I daresay he had means of knowing what was going on and he would have been advised from afar and gone home if it had been necessary. The best manager in the country needs a guiding hand. You have to give that. It’s a great responsibility … all those tenants, people who depend on Cador. You’ve got to do your duty by the land; you have to make sure that all goes well with what your father and his forebears have built up. And Rolf is the man to help you. Go back and marry him if he’ll have you after what you did to him. He will … for Cador’s sake.”
“Uncle Peter,” I said, “you are the most amazing of men. I never thought I should be talking to you like this.”
“Sinners are far more lenient than saints. That’s another lesson you’ll have to learn. I know all the temptations, good people don’t. Therefore I understand how easy it is to fall into them. Take my advice. Go back. Talk to him. Tell him of your feelings … as you’ve talked to me. I’d like to see you settled. I tell you, I feel a responsibility towards you because I was fond of your mother. I’m fond of you, too.”
He smiled and lifted his glass.
“To the success of Annora. May everything that is good come to her. And let me tell you that if she makes up her mind to get it, she will. That’s a law of nature. Think about what we’ve said. And now I am going to take you back because I have a meeting to attend.”
I said: “Thank you, Uncle Peter. You have helped me quite a lot.”
He had. I felt my spirits rise. Had I attached too much importance to that Midsummer’s Eve? I tried to shut out the memory of the stricken face of that old woman and the flames rioting among the thatch of her cottage.
A youthful escapade? No, I could not think of it as that. It had been a cruel and vicious act and only a man who had cruelty in him could have taken part in such a deed. But he had not been there. I must believe him.
And Cador? Uncle Peter was right. Of course he loved Cador. He always had.
I was in love with Rolf. I always had been. Hadn’t I compared others with him? Joe. Gregory Donnelly. And always I had thought, But they are not Rolf. Yet I had turned my back on him. I thought of the last time I had seen him—cool, detached, almost as though he disliked me. It was natural that he should after what I had done.
Suppose I went back. Suppose I told him how I had felt. Suppose we talked—not just lightly but in detail about that Midsummer’s Eve and his love for Cador—talked frankly as, surprisingly, I had been able to talk to Uncle Peter.
Helena was growing towards some sort of contentment. I had gone with her and Aunt Amaryllis to see the little house in Westminster. It was charming and I could see that Helena liked it. There were plans in her mind as she talked quite animat
edly for her about the aspect of the dining room and the drawing room, and how her eyes shone as she planned what should be the nursery.
“Jonnie would love to play in that,” said Aunt Amaryllis, beaming. It was all turning out as she would have wished, and her magnificent husband was going to buy this house for Helena and her husband. Moreover Uncle Peter was interested in Matthew’s prospects and that meant he was going to make a great career for his son-in-law.
It was only when she turned to me that Aunt Amaryllis’s eyes were clouded. She would be remembering my mother, my tragic loss, my desertion of my bridegroom almost at the altar.
And again I thought: Uncle Peter is right. I have allowed myself to brood, to become cynical, to look for a mercenary motive behind people’s actions. I remembered my mother’s saying that good things would always come to Amaryllis because she just simply failed to see what was not good.
I think there must have been some truth in that.
Now Aunt Amaryllis had both her children happily settled. The irritations which had beset them a short while ago when people who were jealous of Peter had tried to pull him down, were over. Nobody could ruin Peter however virulently they attacked him. Everyone must see what a magnificent man he was.
I thought of Peter choosing Amaryllis. He had said he might have married my mother. I doubted she would have had him, but if she had, Peter’s marriage would have been stormy. He had chosen Amaryllis because she was just the wife he needed. What husband wouldn’t want a wife who thought him perfect in every way? How rare such women would be. It was typical of Uncle Peter that he had one.
What he had said to me was true. Rolf and I belonged together. And Cador belonged to us.
While I was looking over the house with Helena and Aunt Amaryllis I said to myself: Go back. See Rolf. Ask his forgiveness for what I have done and talk … talk frankly. Tell him exactly what I feel.
The thought lifted my spirits considerably.
When I mentioned to Helena that I had decided to go back to Cornwall very soon, she was regretful, but she did not cling to me and beg me to stay as once she would have done. That was an indication of the change in her life. She was getting closer to Matthew. She was eager to get to the new house. She discussed how she would entertain there with her mother and was even drawing up lists of people who should be invited.
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