As we were announced and headed out to play, Meila came right up to me and said, “Good Luck, I will definitely see you, be with you later!” She placed a kiss right on my lips for the world and fans to see. I was so hoping at this moment that Madison had to pee and wasn’t in front of the video feeds. At least the kiss meant nothing, and there was no exchange of emotion on my part.
Front and center this was my time to shine, not like I never sang before or played with my band of friends, but these were all my own words. I wrote all the lyrics. I wrote all the music, and then brought in Ron and Raeford to help with some fine tuning. I wanted this tour to be a tribute to my wife and how wonderful my life is. The lights remained dark and when they popped on the fans went crazy. They exploded in cheers louder than I can ever remember. I began to play and the comfort of the guys being with me every step of the way played out perfectly. I glanced in the corner of the front row just out of curiosity. She wasn’t there, Madison was not here tonight. I scanned the rest of the crowd and then I saw her out of the corner of my eye on the other side in the front row. She looked amazing, but then I missed a chord. I quickly regained my composure…it was not Madison it was Meila, licking her lips as I caught her eye. I really had to pull my shit together. This girl is going to be freaking trouble with a capital “T”. I know she looks like my wife, but I need to separate her. I won’t mess up all the good I have.
The first show went off without any hitches. Madison had been there with me in my mind and immediately after coming off that stage, my hand went to my phone and I was pleased to see a text from her.
Rand you played incredibly. It was awesome. I listened so closely to the lyrics of every song. I turned up the volume on the computer so that our babies could hear you singing to them as well. I Love you and am so proud of you. xo
Just as I was about to compose a response I felt a delicate hand touch my waist. Meila’s voice almost purring, “You were everything I thought you’d be out there tonight, and so much more. We should definitely celebrate.” She was continuing her pursuit.
“Thank you. You were great yourself, but I have to get going I have previous commitments. Maybe another time though.” I had already pulled away from her, and started out to find the transportation to get to the hotel.
Maxwell reached out and said, “Whoa, where are you heading so quickly? There is a party to attend for you that the sponsors are throwing.” I stopped. This was not where I wanted to go, but I figured I could go and show my face and then escape soon enough.
“Okay but first I have to call Madison,” I told him as I turned down a hallway behind the stage to gain a bit of privacy. I know she would be waiting on me to call, but as I dialed the number it only rang over and over. I was beginning to sweat thinking something happened—and maybe, just maybe—she did catch the beginning of the show and Meila kissing me and she got upset. I wiped the beads of wetness forming on my brow. I rested up against the wall, trying to relax my back. It was hurting again. The adrenaline rush seemed to have me forgetting about it. I waited about three minutes in case she was in the bathroom and redialed. I was relieved when I heard her pick up on the other end.
“Hey Love, I was worried. I called a few minutes ago and got no answer. Are you okay?” I wasn’t ready to deal with her being upset because being so far away I couldn’t remedy it like I could in person…but she put my worries to rest very quickly.
“Oh, Babe, sorry I was actually throwing up. This morning, afternoon and evening sickness is horrible.”
“Do you need me to come home?” I asked her and all she would have to do is say the words and I would be there on the next plane.
“Definitely not. You have many more weeks to perform, so get that out of your head. Hopefully the sickness will ease up soon.”
“So you really liked the show?” I had to ask her again. I needed to hear it from her. I loved her support.
“Yes, but I came into viewing it midway into your first song, because I was running to the toilet to get sick. I hope I didn’t miss anything in the beginning as they announced you.”
“No Love, you didn’t miss a thing.” I said this reassuring her as I was letting a breath out knowing I just dodged a bullet with that warm up kiss from Meila. So glad Madison did not have to see that especially on our very first show. I would just have to make certain to stay clear of Meila’s future actions and gestures.
“So how are my babies doing?” I continued, in awe that I was going to be a father really soon.
“They are fine just keeping my stomach sick, but I made an appointment for my ultrasound. We will get to see the sex of them both…” Madison stopped in her words.
“Madison I would love to know the sex if you want to.” I think that she wanted me to give her the okay to find out and I was just upset that this appointment would happen while I was heading to California.
“Rand are you sure because we can wait until I deliver them to be surprised?” She questioned.
“Love, we’ve already had the initial shock of finding out you’re carrying twins so I say, yes, absolutely find out their sex. I know you are just as anxious as I am to hear whether we are really having two boys.” I said firmly.
“What? Not two boys. You are such a handful already. Wishful thinking Babe, but two girls would be better.” Madison started to laugh.
I felt calm knowing that she was at least feeling better at this moment. I didn’t really care if we had boys or girls. All I worried about was being there for her when they arrived into this world and making certain Madison was taking care of herself in the process. I decided to reach out to Cecile after the party. I didn’t intend to be there long and I wanted her to check in on Madison, and let me know that she really is doing okay.
“Well Love, I have to run and attend a party for a bit, but know I’m definitely not going to hang there long. I am spent physically and need to crash. I will phone you once I am lying down, so you can put a smile on my face and take my worries away until I fall off to sleep.” I winced again at a stab in my back.
“I love you. I will wait for your call.”
“It won’t be long, because I am getting excited just hearing your voice coming through my phone. I just miss your touch.” I bent over to stretch the muscles in my back. “Mwah!” I blew out a kiss to her as I shut my phone.
“Oh, that was so cute. You are quite the romantic Rand, and I never pegged you for that. Many girls that knew you before you were married have said you were heartless.” Meila appeared in the hallway. She reached out to place her arm in mine to walk to the after party. I pulled my arm immediately from her. The only arm mine is going to be entwined with is Madison’s. It seemed to strike an instant cord of distaste with her but then she quickly changed her attitude and I could see her now smiling proudly, which seemed very fake to me.
The after party rocked as all the guys were pumped from the performance. They are really glad to be back out playing gigs even if it wasn’t like before as Rolling Isaacs. These guys are my family. They never make me feel uneasy for taking the spotlight and doing my own music. I did leave the party rather early, but mainly because I wanted to get back to the hotel. I stopped at a convenience store first to get some pain medication for my back. I knew I could rest and hopefully feel like new in the morning. I would feel even better if I could coax Madison into some hot phone sex. Lately she was surprising me with so many bold moves.
Last night’s show was pretty awesome I was going over it in my head that I was now the main act. It still felt strange to me but I was really enjoying performing all the music I have written. As I usually slept in late each morning, today I awoke relaxed and decided to make my way to catch up with the guys for some food. As I entered the hotel’s dining room everyone was already seated and of course I was the last to arrive. “Hey look who’s awake, and got his beauty sleep” Isaac called out.
“Yeah, yeah save your comments, I’m joining you all because I’m actually really hungry,” I tossed
back at him. As my eyes began to scan the table only one seat is unoccupied and that was next to Meila. I thought for a moment and then said to myself this will be fine, it’s breakfast with everyone.
As I approached the chair I see her lips expand in a large smile. “Morning Rand,” she sweetly says and I just nodded back. As everyone started to plow through the pastries on the table, I couldn’t stop looking at a sweet crumb left on Meila’s chin. I pointed to my lips and swiped them for her to know that she had something on her face. All of the sudden Meila was coming in way to close to my face and said, “See all you had to do is make the first move Rand.”
I pushed my chair back and questioned her, “What do you think you’re doing? I was just trying to let you know you had a piece of your breakfast below your lip.”
“Oh, Rand I thought you were tapping those alluring lips of yours for a morning kiss.” Meila kept smiling.
“No Meila, I save that for my wife and her only.” With that her smile turned to a frown and she sat back in her chair. It seemed quite awhile passed and our breakfast order still hadn’t come to the table. Several times Meila’s leg bumped up against mine. I could be just hyper sensitive around her, but I didn’t believe it was just a coincidence.
To pass the time and not have to talk to Meila, I struck up a conversation with her band mates, Jesse, Poke and Shane. They all seemed nice enough. I found out two of them were brothers, Jesse and Wes. Wes used his nickname, Poke, and since that was such an unusual name, I had to ask how he got it. Jesse explained that everyone always poked his brother’s arm as a child telling him how handsome he was. Jesse apparently still thought this was funny, but Poke didn’t pay much attention. Poke already seemed to be the fan favorite when they were performing. You could tell by the noise level of the screaming girls when the light moved his way. I told them that after being together so long, my band members were my brothers.
I was about to ask them how they were enjoying opening the shows for me, but I was suddenly interrupted and couldn’t continue my conversation. I had reached over and picked up my coffee cup that the waitress just refilled, and I almost tossed it in the air. I felt Meila place her hand firmly on my leg and she started to rub my upper thigh. I set down my cup and took her hand placing it back on her leg as she pouted. From across the table not knowing what happened, Isaac said loudly, “Oh come on you two, play nice.”
I stood up at that moment and said, “Guys this food is taking too long, I’m heading back to my room. Catch you later.” I turned and walked away. I heard Maxwell say, “I think he is really missing his wife.” Oh hell yes I was, and I wasn’t going to sit there with Meila already trying to start something with me. When I got back to my room, I dialed room service for what would now be my lunch and then settled up against the pillows on the bed to complete the most important task of my day…everyday…I dialed my wife just to hear her lovely voice through the phone.
The first couple of weeks passed really fast and the shows in Chicago were delivered flawlessly. Madison and I survived through text messages during the day and long calls that ran late into the early morning hours until one of us dropped off the phone line. I was getting more excited about this next leg of the tour as Madison and Cecile were going to fly out west. Cecile had become my go-to person to find out if everything was going okay with Madison because I was certain if something was amiss, Madison would not tell me. She knew I’d come on home. As a trade off, I had to listen to Cecile go on and on about her love triangle with Kent and Connor who was still waiting in the wings. Guys don’t deal with shit like that. We don’t talk about it. But I guess as long as Cecile was my eyes and ears to Madison, I would endure Cecile’s chats.
Chapter Six – Coming Home
Another city, another hotel, but this time it was going to feel like coming home, because Madison was coming out to be with me. I was fumbling in the hotel room trying to make certain I cleaned it up just so there wouldn’t be any mess when she arrived. I hadn’t seen her in weeks, which to me felt like months…freaking eternity. I wanted her so much, and needed her far more than she probably imagined. I had a meeting to attend with some local sponsors prior to having the rest of the day available for my wife. Cecile had confirmed with me that she got a rental car and once they landed they would both be on their way to see their men.
Today, time was standing still. I kept looking at the clock on the wall, not able to concentrate on what the sponsors suggested for the upcoming concert. I watched each second tick by and knew she was coming to be with me. When the meeting finally ended, I pushed back my chair. I honestly couldn’t remember a single topic that was discussed. I remember being like this one time before. Heading to the hospital to see Ashley…Still sweaty from the New York performance, I was racing to get to the hospital and tuned out everyone around me. I made the guys drive through all the red lights, and didn’t care if a cop stopped us. I would have begged them to get me to the hospital faster with the use of their sirens. But standing in that hospital room, I didn’t hear anyone or anything. I tuned it all out. I was lost. Ashley laid there with her eyes closed and her heart beating ever so slightly. I watched closely to see the slight rise and fall of her chest. Eventually, her heart stopped as I made that choice to let my twin sister go.
Wiping away the tears that had begun to form from this painful memory, I hear the loud honk of a horn behind me. I guess I was zoning out and sitting in traffic for longer than I should have. Here I am out on the California freeway, and the last thing I want to encounter is road rage. Moving my rental forward in the traffic I know that I never want to return to such a feeling of helplessness. I began to maneuver the lanes faster since by now, Madison was at the hotel. I received her text,
The four of us landed safely…me, Cecile and our babies. I cannot wait to be with you.
That brought a smile to my lips and I quickly responded.
Love, I am headed in your direction now and cannot wait to hold you in my arms.
My smile disappeared instantly as I put my phone down realizing I was stuck midday in Los Angeles traffic. I wasn’t going anywhere fast. As all the cars were creeping along, I felt the afternoon sun streaming in the windshield. My thoughts turned to my mother and sister. I missed them so much, and would have loved to have them here with me on my tour. Silently I say, “Mom, you and Ashley would love the music I wrote and the songs all inspired by Madison. You both would have loved her too. She has brought out the very best in me. Not that I ever was really a bad son or brother but I’ve learned so much and have really grown up.” Now with the traffic beginning to move along a little better, I decided to put on the radio just to pass the time until I got to the hotel. I was so anxious to be with my wife.
I selected one station and it wasn’t a song I wanted to listen to, and so my finger kept moving changing each station where I heard only a few notes but passed on each selection so far. Finally, there was a station that made me pause. I heard only the first few notes of the music and that was enough. It was like divine intervention, and I had to turn it up. It was Missing Ash, a tune that I put together with the band as a tribute to my sister after her tragic accident. So here I am sitting in a shit load of freeway traffic, surrounded by cars filled with stressed out people. I’m just enjoying the warmth of the sun, and listening to the words of my song. This moment is completely mine. Alone in my car in a sea of vehicles, I don’t care that I’m crawling along in traffic.
Much later when I opened the door to the hotel room it was very quiet. I saw her luggage off to the side, but there was no television on and no response when I called out Madison’s name. As I approach the bed, I see her loveliness laying there. It looks like she ordered room service and had a mini picnic all on her own. She’s sleeping so peacefully. I want to wake her, but instead I remove my clothes and slide in the bed next to her. She moans and turns but doesn’t wake. I reach around to her belly and can’t believe the bump has expanded so much since I last saw her. Now it is really evident
that she is pregnant. I trail my fingers in patterns on her stomach until I fall off to sleep along with her. As I relax in the dark, my mind takes me back again. “Rand, you sure that’s her?” Kent asked sounding doubtful.
“I think it is. She looks just like she used to when she worked at the newspaper.” I was certain it was Madison Tierney. I just had to be cool and play this down.
“Are you going to try to talk to her after the show?” Kent kept up.
“What for?” I fired back.
“Well she wrote about us months ago in the paper and she’s probably just here to see in person that we’re a damn good band.” Kent stated.
I laughed back at him and brushed off my nervousness.
“Yes we are that!” I exclaimed and raised my hand to high five him, and then hustled him onto the stage. I had to cut off any more of this conversation.
My eyes kept going to her during the Philly show. I had no idea that she would ever be at one of our shows. I felt like I was playing this entire show to her at a private performance. I didn’t miss a beat. A few times when I caught those beautiful eyes locked on mine I saw her smile slightly, and she looked so nervous. She kept checking behind her to see if I was really looking at her. I hoped she felt me, hoped she felt the music, and this crazy connection that I was feeling for the first time. My heart was racing, and not because of the show. When the show came to an end, I hung back on the stage. I never do. I usually want to get through the meet and greet line signing CDs and then out to party. I hung back and pretended to play with something on the stage area. I watched as she stood at the end of the show with the crowd and was cheering with them for our performance. I wanted to send her a wink or blow her a kiss, I felt compelled to. But then she turned to grab her jacket and that moment passed.
She stood there though, long after all the fans started to leave. Madison stood there looking at the stage. I fumbled with a few things, some stupid electrical cords or such, not even knowing why I was waiting. Maybe I was willing her to approach me. I pretended I didn’t see her there. Then I heard it, this shy voice call out, “Max, Max Rand.” Madison had reached out to me. I raised my head and put my sweaty palms on my jeans and looked into her beautiful eyes. I wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk to me about, but I just cared that she was talking to me. It was a dream of mine that came true.
Music Notes (Heartbeat #3) Page 6