by Dermot Davis
“Initiate me?” Andrew asked, wondering if it was something to feel excited about.
“Probably the earliest initiation of a member I’ve ever had the pleasure to witness, congratulations,” he toasted him with his gimlet on the rocks.
“Cheers,” Andrew toasted back with the same drink. “What do I need to do, exactly?”
“Just show up, pretty much,” Simon answered simply. “You’ve already been approved by the elders.”
“Cool,” Andrew said, his head nodding at a much slower speed than his brain.
“You should be happy.”
“Oh, I am,” Andrew insisted. “Just a bit taken aback, actually. I feel… honored,” he said, managing a grateful smile. “Thank you for everything, sir.”
“The pleasure’s mine,” Simon said, genuinely happy with the progress of his protégé. “I must confess, however,” he then said, like there had been something that he wanted to get off his chest for the longest time. “I was very reluctant in the beginning,” he said as if having difficulty finding the right words. “Taking you on. I didn’t see your potential, at first,” he said, looking a tad embarrassed. “I’m more than happy to be proven wrong,” he then said, looking proud. “You’ve surprised us all.”
“Thank you, Simon,” Andrew said, bowing his head in acknowledgement. “I appreciate your honesty.”
“You’re going to go far, young man,” Simon then said, his eyes filled with pride. “You’ve got a promising career ahead of you; the sky’s the limit,” he said, his hand flying into the air. “I envy you, actually. You remind me of my younger self. Starting at the bottom and climbing the heights; that’s the best, the biggest thrill,” he said, remembering with fondness. “An airplane takes off only once on its journey. Once it gets into the air? It’s all about maintaining direction and altitude, isn’t it?” he asked with a touch of sadness in his voice. “Enjoy the burst of acceleration while you can. Never take it for granted.”
“I won’t, sir,” Andrew said, making his answer sound as important as possible, in keeping with Simon’s solemn mood.
Although Andrew was secretly touched by Simon’s declaration of sponsorship and admiration, he resisted the temptation to acknowledge the feeling of gratification fully and dwell too long in its warm embrace. He could see where a possible future lay out in store for himself, should he agree to accept it and apply himself in that direction.
With hard work and diligence, he would climb to greater heights in the organization and could very easily secure for himself many swift advancements in rank, position and monetary recompense. He had been proven wrong about their true motivations and their alleged sinister code of ethics in their treatment of both employees and their varied business interests.
Already Andrew was being considered a shining star in the serpents group and there was little doubt in his mind that he could rise very rapidly within their ranks also.
Very probably, Simon would spend more time and energy on his newfound protégé and with increased closeness, he could very easily become like a second father to Andrew. As distasteful as that would have once seemed, Andrew’s opinions of Simon had changed so much that he actually began to admire the man and had come to appreciate his guidance and advice.
What gave him grave cause for concern, however, were his thoughts about Fiona. Although they had managed to stay committed to each other even though their relationship had become strained to the breaking point, he knew her well enough to know that, were he to follow in the footsteps of her father, he could very easily lose her, for good.
Would it be worth it for him to gain the world in exchange for the love of the woman that he loved most deeply? Could he even contemplate a life without Fiona, no matter the worldly gains with which he stood to be rewarded? In no uncertain terms, Fiona had declared her hand and let him know quite vociferously exactly where she stood on the matter.
Without any shred of evidence that he was aware of, with which to back up her argument, she had deemed the organization he worked for as some kind of evil empire. Her very own father she seemed to believe was doing the work of the devil! How on earth was he to successfully navigate between them both when she showed massive distrust towards Simon and they each had a lack of mutual respect bordering on the obscene?
And what of his court case whose date of reckoning was fast approaching? Was Fiona truly expecting him to throw it all in, his assured freedom and independence, and take his chances with the legal system all by himself? What possible chance could he have with a court system that looked poorly on anyone who disrespected their institution by not just escaping once but twice from the best they had to offer in modern incarceration.
Apart from the embarrassment, surely they would wish to make an example of him? How many more years would they threaten him with? If the three strikes law was still being upheld in California, he could be looking at 25 years to life behind bars! How could Fiona wish that for him or any other living soul, for that matter?
“Okay, here’s what I propose,” Andrew addressed Fiona over dinner at his new favorite restaurant, the exclusive Des Amis Provençale, where he had dined many times before with her father. “I’ll stay with the company only as long as they represent me at the upcoming court date. If I get off, and they expect that I will, I will give them my notice. Once free and clear of the whole legal mess, I can start over, start fresh. We can move in together someplace, out of state, even, I don’t care, as long as we’re together. What do you think?”
Fiona chewed the remainder of her mixed green salad and sipped from her perfectly chilled, Shirley Temple. “Sounds like a plan,” she said without enthusiasm.
“You don’t seem very excited about it,” Andrew said, shifting nervously in his seat. “It’s just a suggestion.”
“Andrew, I can’t ask anything from you that would endanger your freedom or indeed, your very wellbeing,” she said earnestly. “I wish to support you any way I can. I don’t have an alternative plan that we can dissect and mull over. I wish I had, trust me. I have my intuition and that’s it. That’s all I’ve ever needed but I don’t expect you or anyone else to understand or trust it the way I have grown to believe and depend in it over the years. I get it,” she said, dabbing the corners of her mouth with the cloth napkin. “We’ll stick to your plan.”
“Okay,” Andrew said doubtfully, pushing away his plate with half of his filet mignon still uneaten. “Will we order some coffee? A desert?”
“Not here,” Fiona said, finishing off her drink. “Let’s get coffee someplace else.”
“The coffee here is pretty amazing,” Andrew said with excitement. “They roast the beans themselves and flavor them with real vanilla—”
“Andrew, I’m sure the coffee here is amazing but quite frankly, I can’t stand this restaurant. Can’t you tell how uncomfortable I’ve been feeling since we got here?”
“Oh, yeah, no, I did,” Andrew said defensively. “I mean, I wasn’t sure if it was the place or us, or, you know, we haven’t been getting on so well,” he blabbered.
“My father used to bring me here,” she said, looking around at the other well-dressed diners, most of them at least twice her age.
“Oh.”
“Besides, since when did we ever go to a place where you have to make a reservation two months in advance? That’s so not us, Andrew.”
“Oh, I didn’t make a reservation,” he answered proudly. “They know me here; I got a table right away,” he said with a smile that soon vanished when she looked unimpressed. “We should go get some coffee somewhere down the street,” he then said, counting off a wad of bills to leave on the table.
As the couple walked down the street towards the coffee shop on the corner, Andrew wondered if the awkwardness between them would ever go away. Were they finished? Had they each traveled down separate paths never again to reunite and reclaim the absolute happiness they once shared?
“No, we’re not over,” Fiona said to break the silence.
“Can you read my mind?” Andrew asked, spooked by her uncanny accuracy.
“Sometimes,” Fiona answered, smiling for the first time all evening. “Not like it’s not easy-peasy most of the time. Your thoughts are written all over your face, pretty much,” she said teasingly. “You’d be a terrible poker player, that’s for sure.”
“If we’re not over, then?” Andrew started to ask but didn’t fully know the question so he trailed off (or maybe he did know the question and he didn’t want to hear the answer).
“Do you want us to be over, Andrew?” she asked as casually as she could without screaming in heart-wrenching pain.
“No, of course not. I really don’t. Do you?”
“I couldn’t even if I tried, could you?”
“No, the very thought is… abhorrent.”
“Abhorrent?” she repeated and laughed. “What word-of-the-day twitter feed have you been signing up for?”
“I don’t know,” he said with a measure of embarrassment. “Hanging around adults all day comes with some nasty side-effects.”
“Ain’t that the truth?”
“Hanging around adults could result in nausea, nose bleeds, diarrhea, rectal pain, heart attack and prolonged periods of boredom,” he rattled off quickly, mimicking a TV drug commercial, “as well as decidedly more sophisticated vocabulary, and a related increase in income accompanied by boredom, ask your doctor, if you should hang out with adults, as it could seriously interfere with your sense of humor.”
“Yay, goofy Andrew’s back,” Fiona announced with glee. Jerking his tie loose and messing up his hair, she smiled with playful mirth. “Where’s my Andrew, where’s my Andrew?” she teased.
“I missed you too, sulky-boots,” he said, removing his tie completely and balling it up to stuff into his jacket pocket. “And for the record, you pushed me away.”
“When I push, you should push back,” she said brightly. “Don’t you know anything about how to deal with girls?”
“Obviously not.”
“I don’t want to sit down with a fancy coffee in a stupid chain store,” she said as she stopped outside the coffee shop.
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to walk on the beach and feel the salty air blow through my hair. I want to feel the cold, wet sand on the soles of my bare feet while I become aroused by your soft and tender kisses that assault every square centimeter of the yielding skin of my face,” she said in a sultry and sexy voice. “What do you want to do?” she then asked in a mock serious tone.
“Sounds good to me,” he said as he took by the hand and forced her to run with him down the street towards their parked car.
“Whee!” she screamed as she ran with delight.
When they finally got to the beach, Fiona did walk barefoot on the sand and Andrew did assault her face with a million kisses. “I love you so very much,” he whispered, his mouth but a fraction of an inch from her sexually stirred-up earlobe. “I’m going to quit my job tomorrow,” he then said in all seriousness.
Standing to abrupt attention, Fiona held him before her and looked searchingly into his eyes. “Andrew,” she said but was unsure what to say next.
“I’m going to take my chances and trust, just like you said,” he said with complete authority.
“Andrew, I’m not asking you to—”
“I know,” he said, interrupting her. “I want to. For me.”
“I don’t understand,” she said, her sudden fear and nervousness causing tears to well up in her eyes. “I’m not leaving you, Andrew. I’ll support you, either way.”
“What we had, what we have,” he corrected himself, “is worth more to me than anything. I can’t bear it when there’s a distance between us. I know, I’m certain, that if I stayed in that job and that group, then there would be no going back for us; maybe no future for us, no togetherness and I’m one hundred percent convinced that I couldn’t live like that, without you, without us. Without you, I am nothing. Not totally nothing, obviously. Without you… I don’t know who I am, without you.”
Stunned into a nervous, yet exhilarating silence, Fiona’s body quivered in his arms. “Oh, Andrew, I’m so scared,” she finally said. “What about the court case? What if you had to go back to prison? I couldn’t—”
“Shush,” he said as he placed his fingers gently upon her lips. “I don’t care about any of that anymore. Seeing you, being together with you, feeling you deep in my heart, this is all I want,” he said, embracing her so very tightly. “There is nothing else, only this, only us,” he said breathlessly.
Kissing him strongly and passionately, Fiona squeezed him so tightly, it was as if she wanted to merge into his body and live as one. “Oh, Andrew, I need you so much, also,” she said between kisses, their lips still touching. “I couldn’t live without you, either. Don’t ever let us grow apart.”
“I won’t,” he said, taking her body and gliding her gently down onto the cool sand.
“Promise me,” she said as she allowed the earth to surround the contours of her partly exposed back. “Promise me.”
“I promise,” he said as he barely paused for breath while kissing her neck and bare shoulders. “With all my heart, I am yours and you are mine. I promise.”
All morning, while at work, Andrew was preoccupied with his personal concerns. Terrified of quitting his job, yet still convinced that he must, he spent most of his mental energy trying not to think about his lack of alternatives to the hotshot lawyers handling his legal case.
Simon had grown to like him. Wondering how best to give notice without angering him, Andrew composed different approaches in his head but failed to be content with any of them. He had seen Simon’s anger and had feared him in the past when it was directed towards him. Simon was the sort of person that no one liked to cross. Even if Simon liked a person, it was no guarantee that he would spare the person from angry retribution.
If there was some way where he could have Simon accept his resignation and yet still remain close and kindly disposed towards him, then that would be the desired outcome. If Simon were also to convince his people and the lawyers to continue their representation, then he would feel like he had just hit the jackpot.
“What’s on your mind, son?” Simon asked when Andrew placed a stack of files on his desk. “You’ve been walking around with a long face all morning. Out with it,” he commanded.
“I, uh, I’m, um, I…” Andrew struggled.
“Get it out there, lad. Did the cat get your tongue?”
“I need to tender my resignation,” Andrew said after taking one deep breath.
Simon watched and waited for a long time as if expecting Andrew to tell him that he was joking or something similar. “What’s this about?” he then asked, a look of scorn replacing the softer features of his face.
“I don’t want to work here anymore,” Andrew said, his legs beginning to tremble.
“Why not?” Simon asked, as if his entire day was now ruined. “Why would you not want to work here anymore?”
“I’m… I’m just not cut out for this kind of work,” Andrew said, his nervousness causing his brain cells to fire less rapidly. “I need to leave.”
“You can’t leave,” Simon scoffed. “You can never leave,” he said and waved him off like Andrew was acting like a silly person. “You know quite well that you can’t leave. No one leaves.”
Andrew stood in shock for what seemed like an age. Although he could hear Simon perfectly clearly, his facial expression suggested that he hadn’t heard a word he had said.
“You were told at the interview, correct?” Simon asked like he wished to return to his work and have the whole conversation struck from the annals of their shared history.
“Yes, of course,” Andrew said, his brain finally receiving some glucose from his returning blood flow. “I wanted to see your reaction,” he said like it was all an elaborate joke.
“I don’t have time for this,” Simon said, tur
ning his eyes towards his computer screen and secretly not buying Andrew’s attempted levity. “And neither do you,” he said flatly. “What?” he then asked Andrew when Andrew remained in the same spot without moving.
“I guess I’ve been feeling a bit uncomfortable, actually,” he said, as if he was coming clean.
“What do you mean?” Simon asked, his attention shifting back to his troubled-looking employee. “Sit down,” he then said, like he really did want to hear what was on his mind. “Talk to me.”
Slowly and deliberately, Andrew made his way to the chair like he was weighted down with all sort of worldly troubles. “Yakomoto and Quanta Systems,” he then said, acting on a hunch. “I’m feeling a bit guilty, I guess.”
“Guilty about what, son?” Simon asked in a way that he may know the reason.
“I tried not to think about it too much but I can’t…” Andrew said and stopped like he was upset. “I feel like there’s blood on my hands,” he then said, looking down at his hands which lay limply in his lap. “I know you know what I’m talking about,” he said softly.
Simon sat back in his seat and looked closely and searchingly at the young troubled man sitting opposite. As if thinking about how best to handle the situation, he sighed and took a deep breath. “Close the door,” he then instructed.
Andrew looked slowly up at his boss and tried his best not to show his utter shock at what the man behind the desk was about to reveal. Rising from his seat before the surprise in his eyes gave him away, he gently closed the door. For the first time since he had worked there, the room became deathly silent as he returned to the chair.
“I understand what you might be feeling, son.” Simon said with sympathy. “It was the same for me, in the beginning,” he said as if remembering. “I wish I could tell you different but I honestly don’t know if the pain and the guilt truly go away.”
Andrew sat motionless and looking down at nothing in particular, he avoided all eye contact with a man who was openly admitting the role the serpents group had played in the sudden demise of a business competitor.