by Dermot Davis
“Drink this slow,” Arjuna said, handing her a freshly poured glass of bottled water. “Need to take it easy for the next few days. You’ll probably sleep for a day or two, feel pretty weak for a few days until you rest, that’s pretty normal when you’ve been transformed and come back across the threshold. How was it?” he then asked. “You get to meet your power animal?”
“No, I don’t think so,” Fiona said, thinking about it. “Didn’t get to meet that many animals; a hawk, maybe.”
“A hawk is a good animal totem and guide,” Arjuna said, sounding impressed. “Hawks are messengers to and from the higher dimensions. Visionaries. Still, the Great Spirit comes in many forms, may not be an animal.”
“I did have a conversation with a very nice boulder,” she said with a grin. “Can I have another drink, please?” she asked as she offered up her empty cup.
“Sure,” Arjuna said, returning to refill the cup. “A conversation with a rock, huh?” he asked as if he was wondering about its significance. “Rocks are like the elders of the planet. They’ve been here since the beginning; seen everything, very wise,” he said, as if he approved.
“It sounded wise,” Fiona agreed, receiving the refill of water. “Thank you.”
“It was worth it?” Arjuna asked as he sat opposite.
“Definitely,” she answered, nodding her head in agreement. “Not sure what it all means but yeah, it was something else, very cathartic, that’s for sure.”
“It may take you days or weeks or maybe even years to figure out what went on out there. You may never figure it out, that’s the beauty and the majesty of the experience. The Sacred World offers a unique wisdom,”
“You got that right,” Fiona said, playfully.
“The meaning of it all you might never figure out but I bet you feel changed already from the experience.”
“I do,” Fiona answered thoughtfully.
“Not sure how exactly but you bet, I definitely feel different.”
“You want to get some sleep, go on, right ahead,” Arjuna offered. “Stay as long as you need; you ain’t putting me out none.”
“Thank you,” Fiona said as she thought about it. “But I really, really want to be with my boyfriend now. I miss him so much I don’t think I could rest until I’m properly in his arms.”
“That’s perfectly alright,” Arjuna said amiably. “You got it bad and I know what that’s like. I’ve been that way myself, once or twice. Enjoy it while you can. Just make sure you can drive home safely, drink plenty of water, go slow, that’s all I’d ask you to consider. You’ve been in the sacred world, and entering a modern vehicle means modern dangers. Be safe.”
“I will,” she answered as if she was considering her state. “Thanks for your hospitality, Arjuna.”
“Visit whenever you can, Fiona,” he said with a grin which gave Fiona pause for thought. Instead of a giant rock talking to her, was it really Arjuna? Had he hidden away somewhere and used her confused state to trick her into thinking that she was really conversing with an inanimate object? Visit whenever you can, indeed.
Chapter 14
After a few moments outside of the car, and saying her final farewell to the sacred desert, Fiona drove at a breakneck pace back to Los Angeles. She drank plenty of water and had a good run until she hit typical LA traffic, which slowed her down to a crawl until she finally exited the freeway close to downtown. Deciding to head straight to Andrew’s house, she didn’t even check to see if her phone had recharged from the dashboard unit in her car, which she had never before used.
Not only did she want to surprise him, she also didn’t want to risk disappointment. If she really had been in the desert for four days, then she knew that he must be really pissed with her that she hadn’t called or even emailed him in all that time. Had she called him first, and alerted him to her approach, she might have given him the opportunity to blow her off, assuming that he was still angry with her.
Delighted to see his upstairs bedroom light still on, she parked her car in excitement. When she knocked and he opened the front door, all her fears and nervousness vanished in an instant. With a look of ecstasy mixed in with a sense of dread and absolute relief, Andrew pulled her to him as if she had formerly died and had just now been brought back to life and was now in his arms. Squeezing her so tightly that it hurt, she didn’t even have the breath to ask him to relax his hold, just a little bit.
“Oh, my god, I’ve been so worried about you,” he almost wept. “I thought you had vanished. I thought you had left me. I left you like a zillion calls and you never got back to me once,” he surprised himself by openly sobbing onto her neck and hair.
“Of course I didn’t leave you,” she said, calmingly. “I would never leave you, you know that.”
“I can’t believe I’m holding you, right now,” he said, feeling her in his arms intently.
“I was in the desert on the vision quest thing, I told you that,” she said softly.
“I know, that’s the only thing that helped me hold myself together.”
“I didn’t know it was going to take so long, I mean, days and days by myself in the desert like that.”
“You were by yourself in the desert for days?” he asked, holding her but stepping back to look at her more closely.
“I just walked out of the desert and back to Arjuna’s trailer and then drove straight here,” she said tearfully, realizing now more fully how much she had missed him.
“You must be exhausted,” he said, now noticing her sunburn and the lived in state and smell of her clothing. “Are you exhausted?”
“I guess,” she said, sounding not really sure. “I’m pretty much running on fumes at this point.”
“Come,” he then said, taking her by both her hands and whisking her gingerly up the stairs. “Now that I’ve got you back, I’m not letting you go,” he said as he whirled her into his room and shut the door.
“Your mom?” she asked as he helped her undress.
“She’s on nights.”
“Do you need to rest?” he then asked courteously, stopping in his tracks.
“Probably,” she said as she pulled him to her in the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced. “Most definitely,” she then said as she came up for air and promptly returned her lips to his.
When she finally became too shattered to keep her eyes open any longer, Fiona snuggled deeply into Andrew’s strong and protective arms and fell into a deep and welcoming sleep. Conversely, even though he was dog-tired himself, Andrew was far too excited and wired to even attempt to close his eyes. Staring lovingly at his sleeping love, he gently ran his fingers through her hair and lightly stroked her tender face as if she was the treasured goddess of his entire universe.
Waking up at the same time and in the exact same posture as they had fallen asleep, they smiled with recognition and certainty of their love for one another. “Good morning, buttercup,” he said sweetly.
“Good morning, buttermug,” she said with love and mischief in her eyes. “What time is it?”
“I don’t know,” he said in a laid back tone that surprised her. “Do you need to be somewhere?”
“No, of course not. Don’t you?” she asked. Turning her head to look for a clock. “Don’t you need to be in work?”
“Oh, see, that was what my one millionth voice mail was about,” he said teasingly. “I’ve got my court case this afternoon.”
“Oh, my god,” Fiona said, trying to stir her body from his tight cuddle. “I completely forgot. Is that today? Are you nervous? You must be out of your friggin’ mind.”
“I’m nervous,” he said, not at all sounding nervous. “But now that you’re here, this is all I need.”
“Oh, bullshit,” Fiona said, busting herself out of his embrace. “Tell me why you’re not jumping the walls with worry? They could put you away for the rest of your life and you’re all yellow mellow?”
“Yellow mellow?” he asked, like she was hilarious.
“Because your father said that it’s all taken care of and you know he never exaggerates. A slam dunk, I think he said.”
“My father never used the words ‘slam dunk’ in his entire life,” she said in a softer tone. “He may have said ‘no brainer,’ once or twice,” she added and grinned.
“Yeah, maybe he said it was a no-brainer,” Andrew agreed. “Besides, he said, raising his arm to show her his serpent tattoo. “I’m a fully paid up member now and members always look after members, that your dad did say,” he said with a smile. “What’s wrong?” he asked as she stared at his tattoo with an increasingly terrified expression.
“Nothing,” she said, finally managing to turn her eyes away. “That’s the first one I’ve seen on someone that wasn’t my dad,” she said, not fully understanding her own negative reaction.
“Want to have breakfast in or out?” he asked, swinging his body out of the bed.
“Considering the current state of my wardrobe,” she said, checking out her dusty, sweaty desert clothes, “I would have to say in, definitely breakfast in. What’s you got?”
“Well, I know we got some freshly laid eggs and a few slices of multi-grain bread,” he said, like he was a waiter in an upscale hotel.
“You’ve no idea how amazing that sounds,” Fiona said, wondering to herself if she could bear putting on her foul-smelling outfit. “Then, if you have time, we can go shopping. Clothes shopping to be precise.”
“I have time,” Andrew said with a smile. “You can throw your clothes into the washer, if you like. Want to take a shower with me?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. “It’s the responsible thing to do in a drought state like California. Let’s go green.”
“I consider myself a responsible citizen,” she said, making an exaggerated stroll towards the bathroom. “It would be a pleasure to do my civic duty and share some shower water with you, to go green, sir,” she said with a bad southern accent.
“Why, the pleasure’s all mine, missy,” he said in his best Clark Gable. “After you, my dear,” he said with a grand sweep of his arm.
After their shower and with a bath towel wrapped her body, Fiona took her freshly washed wet clothes from the washer and placed them into the dryer.
“Breakfast is ready, my dear,” Andrew called out from the kitchen.
Loading her plate with scrambled eggs, Fiona looked like she was taking the breakfast very seriously. “Way to go there, Popeye,” Andrew said jokingly. “All that protein’s gonna give you superhuman strength, my dear.”
“Yeah, well, let’s see how you cope with no food or water for four days, mister,” she said, lathering her toast with heaps of butter.
“You had no food or water for four days?” he asked in a high pitched voice. “How did you survive? You ate desert bugs and shit?”
“After the first day, I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t even know I was out there for four days until I came back. It was kinda like a mystical experience, I guess.”
“In what way, mystical?” he asked, sensing that she wouldn’t appreciate him making jokes about her experience.
“Like I was having visions, seeing things that weren’t really there but then it wasn’t all in my head either, I don’t think. Hard to explain,” she said, wolfing down the scrambled eggs.
“Like a hallucination?”
“No, I don’t think,” she said, uncertain. “Maybe.”
“Well, what kinds of things did you see? In the vision?”
“I saw your cap,” she said, remembering. “Your Angels’ baseball cap? Came right past me like it was blowing by in the wind.”
“Why?” he asked, unsure of the correct questions to ask. “Why my baseball cap?”
“Because it had some significance to my… to my issues, I think. Like it was prompting a question, just like you asked, what was your baseball cap doing in the desert… exactly.”
Looking totally confused, Andrew hesitated before asking any further questions.
“See, I remembered seeing your cap in my father’s ritual room. When you lost it, remember?”
“Yeah, and you found it somewhere,” he said, remembering.
“I found it in my dad’s room.”
“What was it doing in your dad’s ritual room?” he asked, his head shaking with bafflement.
“Pretty sure he was doing some kind of ritual with it,” Fiona said with a guilty hesitation.
“Your father was doing ritual with my Angels’ baseball cap?” Andrew asked as his body sat up to pay greater attention.
“Yes,” Fiona answered, unable to quite look him fully in the eyes.
“When?” he asked, looking like he was on the scent to solve a crime. “When was he doing ritual with my cap, Fiona?”
“Okay, look,” she said, placing her cutlery on the table and looking up at him. “I should have said something and I didn’t. Maybe I thought that I was protecting my father, like I’ve always done since I was like, a toddler, I guess. Then again, maybe I was protecting myself from seeing him clearly, what he was about.”
“This is around the time of the accident?” he asked, his face turning white with the memory. “The accident that killed two of my best buddies and got me put in jail.”
“Yes, I think so, I don’t know.”
“You do know, Fiona,” he said, his voice becoming more strident. “You do know.”
“What difference would it have made if I told you or anybody else for that matter?” she asked pleadingly. “It was done; it couldn’t have been undone. I didn’t know the details, I didn’t want to know the details,” she said with a quiver in her voice. “He’s my father for crying out loud! You don’t get to choose the father you want, do you? So what if it was the night of the accident?” Andrew gasped at her words and she felt intense shame.
As if he had heard enough, Andrew angrily rose from the table. “I knew it! Your father has been responsible for all of this, hasn’t he?” he asked in a loud voice. “The whole thing; the deaths and the prison the first time and the prison the second time?” he asked like it was crazy but at the same time made absolute sense. “And you said nothing?”
Remaining seated and looking terrified, Fiona stared at her plate. “I made a mistake,” she said quietly. “I didn’t speak up. I know that now. I was afraid to say anything. I was afraid of my father; of what he would do. Believe me, he could have done a lot worse. I was caught in the middle. I didn’t want him to hurt you any more than he could have. He could have hurt you so much more. And you might have left me… you might have ended things.”
“You took his side over mine, Fiona,” Andrew said, looking like he was in shock. “Yeah, you were caught in the middle but you always took his side first before you took mine. I even said something like that to you, when we were on the run. You acted like I was a horrible person, to even suggest that your father was like that.”
“Andrew, he’s my father. He’s all I’ve known all my life. You think you wouldn’t side with your father over anyone else?”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Fiona. A choice between you and anyone else, it’s not a contest; it’s not even close.” Andrew closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Fiona stared and pushed her plate away, her appetite entirely gone. “I need to get ready for court,” he said.
Unsure of what to say or do, fixed to her chair, Fiona watched Andrew leave the kitchen and climb the stairs to go to his bedroom. When she finally moved and reclaimed her clothes from the dryer, she sheepishly rejoined Andrew is his bedroom. Dressed in an expensive new suit, he stood before the full length mirror and with polished expertise, tied a perfect knot in his red power tie. “I’m going to take your father down,” he then said, knowing that she had come into the room but his eyes were still focused on his task.
“What, now?” Fiona asked.
“I don’t care what I have to do or how I’m going to do it but I’m taking your
father down. He killed my best friends; he ruined my life and he’s not going to get away with it. He put me in prison…” he said, choking up and unable to finish.
“He took you out of prison and gave you a job,” Fiona said weakly.
“He took me out of one prison only to put me in another one. What do you think this is, Fiona?” he asked, referring to the suit he was wearing and all that went with it. “I’m still in prison, except this time your father holds the key and he’s laughing all the way… he treats me like he owns me, Fiona. Like I’m his personal experiment or some exotic pet he picked up from someplace strange. And in this prison it isn’t just my life at stake, it’s my eternal soul.”
Fiona gasped at his words, though she knew that they were true.
“Well, I’ve had enough. I’m breaking out of this prison just like I did with the other one. Take his side, I don’t care. I’m letting you know so you won’t be surprised when it happens. Whether you like it or not, it’s been a battle between him and me from the beginning. Only one of us is going to walk away and trust me, I’m going to whatever I can to make that be me.”
Still looking down at her feet, Fiona felt a cold chill run through her entire body.
“Maybe it’s about time you decided which side you’re gonna be on. You can’t stay in the middle acting all innocent anymore, pretending like it’s all none of your business, secretly judging your father as evil, while living off of him, acting all spiritually superior, that’s for sure,” he said and turned his head when he heard the front door open and close. “That’s my mom back from work.”
“Hello, sweetie,” Angela called as her feet ran up the stairs like she was fired up with energy. “Are you nervous or excited?” she asked as she walked through the door. “Oh, hi, Fiona,” she then said as she turned to notice the guest.
“Hi, Mrs. Cox,” Fiona forced herself to say and smile.
“Oh, you look fantastic,” she said, standing back to get a full view of her son. “Doesn’t he look fantastic?” she asked Fiona.