by Han Yang
She twirled her hair habitually then swirled it - exactly how Caitlyn did.
“What did the crow feathers mean?” I asked, testing her.
“I -?” she raised the book to her ear, as if it spoke to her.
I read the spine while she acted oddly.
The Guide to the Thousand Gods of the Six Realms - Volume 1.
“Caitlyn said, ‘It’s expensive to project. You owe her temple a hundred Zorta in donations. The feathers were from Nordan. She stole the hair twirling from me, finding it coy. I’m your guide, huckleberry,’ whatever that means,” Bell said in a flippant way.
I bit my lip, holding back the emotions that desperately wanted to surge forward. My father called me his huckleberry. How the goddess had found out, I had no clue, but the message came across loud and clear. Bell was an agent of Caitlyn who happened to be stuck with me … and I had screwed her mom.
Shit.
“It means I owe the goddess a temple because I need my Zorta. Sorry, my Z. I agree to your terms,” I said, holding up a finger. “There’s a caveat. You can command me if it will save my life or helps us in our situations, but I’m not your personal foot massager. We have Benny for menial labor,” I said.
“Ha, no, I’m not in charge other than to keep you alive. I’m a stinking water mage. Without a freeze mage, I’m a lump on a log,” she said with a grunt. “I’m glad you accept, and I eagerly await your story.”
I shrugged. “Mine’s short. I can go first,” I offered with a soft tone.
“Look, you're handsome. I get it. I really do. But quit being a dumbshit,” she said in a condescending tone. “That probably worked great for you in your old home, but being sweet and sly here will get a dagger in your back. If someone offers to go first, you let them.”
“Ah, yeah, I do use that trick to help smooth someone into comfort. They hesitate, you go first, and they see you open up. It tends to work for small talk that leads to other things sometimes. I get it. Being a male temptress in Nordan is not ideal,” I said.
“Exactly. You should have chest hair, a dick that goes to your knees, a pinky finger that can kill, and you should beat your chest when challenged,” she said sternly.
I chuckled as she attacked her breasts with her fists. “I’ve never been the alpha type. Give me some time to work on these… changes,” I said with a grumble.
The mares pulled to the side of the road, and Bell checked out front.
“They’re happy, just found a dry spot for a spell,” she said.
She switched gears, letting out a calming sigh. Her eyes displayed a sudden sadness.
“I’m the youngest of six, and my father is not my Pa. I have no idea who my biological father is, and I grew up looking different than my siblings. We were spaced out far enough the eldest never cared, but the others did, and it sucked.
“I grew up a pariah in my own home. I only know that word because one of my teachers felt bad for me and called me it. Anyway, I started growing into a woman. I realize Pa is a lazy carefree fisherman, Mom runs a whorehouse, and we don’t know who my father is for real. I cornered her for answers which led to a big fight… All of which was a waste of time.”
I could see the visible frustration on her face. She twirled her shoulder length brown hair and then bound it into a ponytail with a bit of ribbon from her bust. Bell had removed the poncho from earlier, and her button-down long sleeve shirt seems a size too small. Well, too small in the chest because those buttons appeared ready to pop.
She glared at me when I snickered, not amused in the slightest. She continued, though. “In Nordan, we do school until fourteen unless we’re home schooled. Most leave early to work jobs to help pay down family debts. A few head off to start training for war or adventuring. At fifteen, we figure out what magic we have. I woke that morning to our family celebration to learn I was a water mage.
“No one cheered. Water mage is the most common mage and requires a combo to do anything. Drowning people is exceedingly hard, and my mana is limited. I can summon a water golem, but it sucks. It literally bursts apart if hit or it hits anything. Sure, if I level it to some stupid high number the exterior toughens, but no one ever does. What I can do is work with a lightning or a freeze mage. Outside of the duo, there’s ten thousand of me in Tarb looking for work.
“The water mage is born to be a cleaner and help humanity survive. I pull clean water from the air for cooking, showering, rising dirty floors, or putting out fires. Work is steady but pays next to nothing for mana consumed.
“At fifteen, I needed real work. Pa took me to the rivers. I could bring up fish at a certain depth. Of course, so can every other human with water magic, so the big fish stay in the deeps. We managed for a year by taking longer and longer trips away from cities. He really wanted me to avoid other types of work and told me I’d find a nice man or a good job in accounting or something. I listened politely, his intentions in the right place. He just wanted anything but me becoming a whore as you call it.
“Not that I’d be an earner there anyway. I had no tits, straight hips, and my father was ugly. Boys never glanced at me or gave me a second look. And with magic reducing age, the pretty working girls never retired,” she said with a sigh.
I used her pause to peek out the front of the wagon.
“I find that odd,” I said.
“Which part?”
The mares rested under a nice canopy as the rain still hammered down. They seemed content, but I continued to watch.
“Your father was handsome. I instantly thought you were pretty. Also, you have boobs, and your mother has boobs. Most women take after their mother,” I said and she frowned. “She is your mother?”
She slugged my arm, and I instinctively said, “Ouch.”
The shot to my bicep didn’t hurt much, though.
“Of course, that’s what you’d ask, but yeah, good. As much as it hurts my pride, that’s not what this is about. You were assertive and mentioned something many other men notice. I have tits now. Same size as my mother’s as of last night. Can you figure it out?” she asked.
I frowned until the ‘as of last night’ clicked. The only correlation to this whole mess was Caitlyn.
“Caitlyn blessed you?” I asked.
She sighed in relief.
“At sixteen, I became an adult. A simple bracelet of yarn signifies you’re not of age to those seeking affections. I’ll admit, I was eager to cut mine off and have some bedroom adventures. I removed my bracelet, letting the world know I was available for courting,” she said with a sad sigh.
“Ah, it didn’t go as you intended?” I guessed.
“Yup, so if my looks were boyish and lacking a luring appeal, what was a young lady to do? I didn’t want to be alone. I roamed the market, trying to find beauty enhancements. There’s some potions to increase skin radiance, or swell my breasts for a day. Nothing permanent and all expensive.
“I did learn there is altering magic. For instance, a high priestess generally is a divine mage. They could have changed my eye colors to match Pa’s which I’d still want more than boobs and hips. Hazel eyes are nice, but I want blues.
“So, I knew what I needed. A divine mage. There were no high priestesses in Tarb and when I journeyed to Litroo, I was kindly let down. Only so many mana in a day for a high priest or priestess. The only one who altered looks helped rid children of a sixth toe for charity work. Mostly, she charged lords and ladies to alter them and then used the Z to donate to her goddess,” Bell said, peering up to see if I caught on.
“That’s how you found Caitlyn,” I muttered. “The divine mage with altering spells was her high priestess.”
Bell said, “Only one high priestess per goddess is allowed at a time, and they’re immortal like the rest of us. When you think about the size of Nordan, her being in Litroo made the odds astronomical. And I’d never be her because she would live forever with guards and healers.
“That didn’t dissuade me. I can be a right stubbo
rn ass when I want to be. During the month-long walk home, I studied a small pamphlet the high priestess gifted me. That was almost ten years ago. How time flies.
“So, I returned to Tarb, staying in a small room with my parents. I did dishes for the next two years, using my money to build a shrine to Caitlyn. The stone sculptures were not cheap. When I finally finished her image based on the drawing in the pamphlet, I started to change.
“My flat as a board chest grew into boobs over months. Mother said I was finally becoming a woman, and I pushed those suckers up on display. Well, my rough edges on my face molded to fine lines. That was the point when we realized it wasn’t just me maturing.
“Mother built a shrine and then spread the word of Caitlyn the Temptress to her working girls. When they started to see results, a church was built, and my mother installed one of her girls as the priestess, not me.
“I was hurt, but moved on, sorta. Suddenly, I was noticed. I got moved from dishes to the front reception. I even managed to only spread my legs to those I wanted to, and I had suitors showering me with gifts. My life changed forever the day I met that high priestess, and again when I finished her idol, and yet again when I talked with Caitlyn last night.”
I gave her a minute to drink her water and said, “So, this isn’t you. You’re a molded woman blessed by a god to encourage other women of temptation to donate to Caitlyn.”
Her hazel eyes locked to mine, and her cheeks crimsoned. Her anger abated with a few deep breaths, and she calmed.
“I’m different, yes. However, I’m not the priestess, and my mother was given larger boobs than mine,” she said with a snide tone. “I didn’t know my purpose. I guess taking the word from Litroo and establishing a church all came from my devotion, but again, I wasn’t the priestess even if I wanted to be. I wasn’t the woman tempting the flesh for a coin.
“I never wavered in my faith, and I always donated what I could, which was very little. I even paid my money tithe instead of getting my arm healed, something Caitlyn scolded me for.” She held up the book of the gods.
“That’s a lot of gods,” I said. “On Earth we had a few types of gods. The closest to this would be the Norse gods.”
“Could you transcribe those for me?” she asked nicely.
“You can use batting eyelashes and chin tucking smiles all you want, but I can’t,” I said, and she merely converted her smile into a grin. “Consider it on my to-do list.”
“Thanks. For Nordan, when the mists rose, the gods revealed themselves in many unique ways. The list inside this book is long. The verified gods are short, but as word spreads, the list is growing. Imagine my surprise when I found out Caitlyn the Temptress used to be Caitlyn the Deviant.
“When I returned home, after you said that, I did so in shock. Even the high priestess from a decade ago said she didn’t talk to her god, merely did her bidding. Caitlyn stepped into her idol and sat with me. She told me I was to be her next high priestess since the current one was killed and her Zorta consumed instantly with her attackers slaying her defenders.
“The words I’ve dreamed of for a decade, sweet music to my ears. Except I had to prove myself. A god gets one champion and has to be pulled from one of the other four planets to go to Nordan or Ostriva. Yeah, that came as a shocker too. You could have been sent to the lowlands of Ostriva if she had wanted.
“Her powerbase is here, though, and she tried to put you into Tarb to find me. I take it someone recommended Tootsies?” she asked.
I mulled it over and blushed slightly. “The teller flirted with me to go there.”
“A setup to get you to meet me, if I had to guess. Caitlyn had limited time. She builds power naturally like we regenerate mana. Her donations help too. You’re the sixth champion she has sent recently,” Bell said.
I furled my brows in confusion. “And the others?”
“All dead. Either from quick betrayals or never arriving properly. You somehow manage to arrive on Nordan and reach her agents, and hence my mother’s reward last night and you earning my loyalty. To Caitlyn’s cause,” she said, sticking a finger at my face. “Don’t get any ideas about me, got it? I’m here to please my goddess, not you.”
“And the conversation with Caitlyn?”
Bell sighed, closing her eyes in frustration. “She’s not a goddess of good. Technically, temptation is a gray area, and she justified her deviant as not being good or bad, merely existing. Caitlyn does talk with her high priestess, and the last one refused to leave her sanctum for fear of death. A high priestess is worth a lot of Z.
“She wanted her champion to be helped, and honestly, I wonder if she didn’t have her killed for refusing. She emphasized you were the best way for her to grow in power to reward her followers. If you ascend, I get to become a high priestess.
“Which means I’ll have divine magic, be revered, and one of the most powerful mages in the realm in an instant. The bigger Caitlyn’s following, the more power I’ll have. That was our deal,” she said. “Now I want to hear your deal.”
“Wait, where are we going? What are we doing?” I asked in surprise.
“I’ve been talking for a while, your turn,” she said.
“I get 10,000 Zorta. I’m guessing they’re unconsumed, and she sends me home. My parents get revived, and I live on a beach reading books about magic,” I said happily.
She tucked her lips in, biting them both in confusion. “As in take you back to your home?”
“Yeah, Earth,” I said with an eager nod.
“That’s not… That sounds great. Tell me the entire interaction in detail, twice, and I’ll stop being sour for a day. No promise on tomorrow,” she said.
“That’s not what?” I asked.
She waved the book at me. “Every champion talks of ascending. Just like you are now. You need to understand, you’re saying things that completely make sense to me that shouldn’t. You give her 10,000 Zorta and you ascend.”
“No, I go back to earth,” I countered.
“Ascend. You’re not saying ascend, are you?” she asked, and I shook my head no. “This book talks of gods, their rules, and how they delve into the fray for personal gain. I believe you’re a victim here, and I want to keep you alive. So, do your best and say every little detail you can. Be patient if I ask you to explain things in different ways.”
I spent the next half hour recalling everything to her twice, including my time on Nordan. When I finished, she smiled tersely.
“There’s something wrong with the situation. While I’d like to get to the bottom of what Caitlyn is up to, that’s not my prerogative at this moment. I’m more concerned with keeping us both alive by integrating you into Nordan. So, let's focus on that. Being a necromancer comes with issues. You know that, right?” she asked, and I nodded. “You… We’ll be banned from humanity because you will gain Ostriva points and be scorned by strivians for being human.”
“So, is Caitlyn wanting to start a neutral city with just the two of us? Sounds dumb,” I said. “Do neutral cities even exist? You’d think both sides would raze them.”
“Caitlyn was furious you got necromancy. You were supposed to get an offensive spell that didn’t penalize you. So, look, you won’t want to hear this, but you would have been replaced if it were easy. Simply to get a new champion with a better secondary magic.
“Necromancy does happen in humans. It just is a magic type like butterfly tamer. Yeah, that’s a magic class. It’s odd, exceedingly rare, and ultimately useless unless you find a way to make it work.
“In the case of Necromancers, they generally set up outposts in strivian territory. Which, we’ll either need to find one to join -”
I finished her sentence and said, “Or build our own. I have no money. Sorry, Z. I have no one to trade for me. How is this ever supposed to work? Also, what’s the point if I don’t ascend? Do all the champions die?”
“I don’t know. Caitlyn mentioned you wouldn’t understand Nordan that well. In this case, King
Karn’s Kingdom is really small. There is infinite space out there. She said to think about walking Lost Angels to Tegas and the New Pork,” Bell said, butchering the words.
“Ah, I actually understood that. Yeah, I think Cali to Canada is a five month walk, but there’s griffins according to this book,” I said.
“And dragons,” she added. “They’re all controlled by the most powerful human areas. We have no major port, and rarely do flying creatures venture to our corner of Nordan. That’s something even I have no answer on, unfortunately. The point is that you and I are not tied to this area and there is a massive amount of land to decide to call home,” she said.
“Which I’m guessing leads to what Caitlyn recommended?” I asked.
Bell nodded, releasing her hair from the binding. After a few swirls, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Your arrival sent a signal to the other gods. They’re all looking for you. Your Z payout is said to be worth a hundred thousand, even at your low level.”
“Whoa! A hundred thousand? No wonder Caitlyn wanted me out of Tarb,” I exclaimed.
“Yup. I’d contemplate killing you myself if the reward of keeping you alive wasn’t so big. We need to flee with me guiding you. I’m a young barmaid with no experience out there. To where, even I don’t know, and for now, until we leave human lands - no claiming the dead. You need Z to claim corpses anyway.”
“So, Z is the goal. Get Z, head into the strivian lands, and try to find another realm we can trade with?” I asked.
“There’s a river in the north. The north is quiet because of the mountains. I say we go there, ride west, and then take the river to new lands that I’d have to look up to identify,” she said, patting her bag.
“Uh… Yeah, I mean, we won't get any Z around here, will we?” I asked.
“Good. You noticed all the soldiers?” she asked, and I nodded. “The Duke sends troops out on the regular. Even killing a deer rewards the hunter, so farming has become extra critical. A tordee,” she paused when I raised a hand. “A tordee is an animal that quacks and is this big.” Her arms spread to the size of a swan. “A domesticated version gives Z rewards but far less than a wild one.”