“Fine.”
She nodded. “Okay. Now for real.”
He chuckled. “Well, if I don’t think much about the last few days, I do better. If I let my mind go there, I wrestle with what I should’ve done differently.”
“I respect that. You work so hard to do everything right.” She fingered the corners of the album cover but didn’t open it. “Once I got my life back on the right track with God, I worked hard to trust Him in most areas of my life but obviously failed in others, as evident by not getting in touch with family until now.”
She released a sad laugh. “And I can’t exactly say that I connected with them today by choice. If I had cared more in my early years about doing things the right way, maybe I wouldn’t have let my feelings dictate so many of my decisions.”
Bruce wasn’t sure he always operated on logic. Sometimes he justified decisions with flimsy logic when really the choice was just what he wanted, but he wasn’t ready to admit it aloud. “Did your time away from family have something to do with what your grandma said about adoption?”
Delaney’s shoulders sagged. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
Except he wanted to know everything about her, even if it was hard to hear. Was she holding back the reason she’d been so aloof with Winnie at first? “I’d like to try.”
She hung her head. “My fiancé—well, boyfriend, really, since he hadn’t proposed officially—was Raymond, the cop I told you about.” She stared up at the popcorn ceiling. “He pursued me like no one ever had while I was in my senior year of college. When he was accepted into the police academy after graduation, he said I should join him. I didn’t want to risk losing him, so I did.”
“You didn’t want to go straight to the academy?”
She flipped open the album nonchalantly, letting her fingers drift over the protected photographs. “No. I wanted to go into forensics.” Her eyes lit up just saying the word. “They analyze crime happening in the area and can use the data to predict when and where a crime might happen next. It’s a fascinating field that’s growing by leaps and bounds.”
“But you didn’t think Raymond would wait for you if you stayed in school for more training.”
She nodded. “Before I knew it, years had gone by and I was still working on patrol. We worked opposite shifts most of the time, so we didn’t even spend much time together. Living together seemed like it made sense—it made it easier to see each other, at least a little, even when our schedules didn’t match up. It wasn’t planned, but we got pregnant.” She averted her eyes again. “When Raymond was killed, I was in my third trimester. The labor pains came out of the blue, and before I knew it, I was in the hospital—C-section—but it’d only been hours since Raymond’s passing and I...I couldn’t process or think clearly. All I knew was this baby deserved a mom and a dad who both desperately wanted...”
Her voice had dropped to a whisper, shaking with emotion. “I didn’t feel mentally, emotionally or financially equipped to be a parent alone, and my shame kept me from asking my family for help.”
She flipped blindly through more pages of the album. Her posture had stiffened and the aloof deputy who had originally come to his door returned. “I called Harvey Jeppsen when they wheeled me into the hospital room, alone. He said he knew the perfect couple. So I asked for a closed adoption.” She cleared her throat. “I kissed her, and the nurses took her away.”
“Her?” His stomach churned, unsettled for a brief moment.
She nodded. “I left the hospital and went straight to Raymond’s funeral. I didn’t tell anyone what I’d done except Marshal Bradford, because he was the one that had delivered the news about Raymond.”
“He was the police chief then?”
“Yes. He drove me to the hospital. Anyway, I came home and knew something was wrong. I ended up back in emergency surgery because of a rare complication—a uterine hemorrhage. They wanted me to stay overnight for observation, and there was a pastor there, visiting some members of his congregation. A nurse sent him to talk to me.”
Delaney smiled softly. “He didn’t take the pain away, but he listened and talking helped clear my head. I’d started having doubts about the adoption, but it was too late to change anything.” She shook her head. “Too many days had passed. So I decided then and there to get my life right, throw myself into my work, become someone my daughter could be proud of—”
Her voice cracked again and she flipped through the photo album pages more rapidly. “And someday, when she turns eighteen, and the adoption file is unsealed, I can find her.” She let out a giant breath.
He leaned back into the couch, overwhelmed with emotion. “Thank you for telling me.”
“So, now you know my entire story. I don’t blame you if your opinion of me has changed. You said yourself you could never understand—”
He placed a hand over hers, resting on the album page. “My opinion of you hasn’t changed. If anything, my admiration of you has only grown. I hate the situation you were in—feeling like you were on your own with no one to help you carry the load. But I understand the guilt and shame when you try so hard to do the right thing and it’s not enough.”
She glanced at his hand and looked up. “But you said you could never understand a mother giving up—”
It was as if she’d punched him in the stomach. “I meant in my ex-wife’s situation, Delaney. I regret my words sounding like a blanket statement. I never meant to imply there aren’t good reasons...” His throat constricted. He had so much more to say on the matter, but his muddled thoughts weren’t cooperating. “I was extremely thankful for the chance to adopt Winnie. I’ll never feel anything other than gratitude toward her birth mother. I don’t think less of you.”
“Really?” Her eyes, brimming with tears, were warm and inviting.
He leaned forward, unable to break the connection. “Really.” He glanced down at her lips. She smiled and closed the distance between them. As their lips were about to touch—
“Daddy, look!” Thunderous footsteps ran across the threshold into the room. Bruce straightened, his heart pounding, and he pulled his hand away from Delaney’s. If his daughter noticed their close proximity, she didn’t indicate as much. Winnie had on a frilly pink dress. Her hair, barely dry after the bath Bruce had given her, curled around her face, and her blue eyes sparkled.
Delaney’s grandma followed Winnie into the den. “Can you believe I still had your old Easter dress? I loved it too much to ever part with it.”
Delaney gasped as her hand slid down the photo album. The action caught his eye, and he couldn’t look away. Where her hand had once been, he now saw a photograph of a young Delaney wearing the same frilly pink dress. The girl in that picture and Winnie could’ve been sisters.
Delaney turned to him, her lips curled in horror. “I can’t avoid it anymore. I need to ask you a question. When is Winnie’s birthday?”
FOURTEEN
Grandma looked as confused as Bruce until she glanced down at the photo album in Delaney’s lap. “Oh, my.” Grandma straightened. “Come on, Winnie. I think I remember where I saved some toys.”
“Toys?” Winnie ran after Grandma.
“Uh...her birthday is in October.” Bruce’s eyes held uncertainty.
“Was she born the night of the fifth?”
Bruce’s chin dropped as he stared at the photograph and raised his head slowly. “Why do I get the idea you already know?” His eyes hardened. “Are you trying to say Winnie is yours?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t deny the nagging feelings. Still, it could all be coincidences.”
His forehead creased and he stared at her, silent. He placed his hands on his knees, stood and paced across the floor, anger evident in his stride. Of course he’d be angry.
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me. It was a closed adoption. I know I don’t ha
ve any right to know.”
He blew out a breath and his features softened. He didn’t look at her while he spoke. “The night of October fifth Harvey Jeppsen called me. He said there was a mom who, after a tragedy...” Understanding dawned on his face and he turned to look at her. “She wanted two good parents to adopt her child. He knew we were on a long waiting list for a baby, and he said we could avoid the wait if we got down to the hospital right away, though he couldn’t serve as our lawyer since he was representing the birth mother.”
Delaney’s eyes burned as she fought the waves of emotion pouring over her. Winnie really was hers. Her little baby had been born with a heart defect and had suffered during the first month of her life. And Delaney hadn’t been there for her. Delaney hung her head as an inner heat seared her cheeks and stomach.
“When did you know?” Bruce’s voice shook.
“I didn’t. I had suspicions. But for every hint that seemed to point in that direction, something else counterbalanced it.” She closed the photo album in front of her and set it to the side. “When Harvey called my phone to speak to you, I was surprised to learn about that connection. He was my lawyer, but you said you didn’t use him for the adoption. Her...her middle name is Olivia. I was initially going to name her that.”
“Harvey told me the birth mom loved the name. It’s why we kept it as her middle name.”
She shook her head. “I’d convinced myself you just picked the name for the fun initials. You said I looked familiar and Winnie has my coloring, but when she was a newborn she had darker hair and darker eyes.”
“Eye and hair color often change from when they’re a newborn.”
“I didn’t know. I just had a nagging—”
“And you didn’t share your suspicions with me? Were you just trying to get close to me to get close to her?”
She reared back as if she’d been slapped. She might as well have been for the pain his insinuation caused. “No, of course not.”
“I thought we were... Well, never mind what I thought.”
Delaney really wanted him to finish that sentence. What had he thought?
“Did you know when you were assigned to the case?” His words were clipped with a hard edge.
“No. I told you—I had no idea. I promise. All I knew going in was that you were a single father with full custody.”
He shook his head, put his hands in his pockets and resumed pacing. “You had all these clues and yet you didn’t say anything. What am I supposed to think?”
She closed her eyes so the tears wouldn’t win as she spoke. “I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t admit she could be my daughter. I thought I would have to wait fifteen more years to meet her. I couldn’t imagine it could be true because I didn’t deserve for it to be true!”
The words came out in a flood before she could filter them. Grandma was right. She hadn’t forgiven herself. Why was it that she could she let God forgive her but was unwilling to believe He could allow Delaney to meet her daughter earlier? And that her dad could be a man she was falling in lo—
Her eyes widened and she stopped the trail of thought right in its tracks. There was no point in thinking that way when Bruce would never want to see her again.
Delaney stood up to join him. “I stand by what I said earlier. You don’t need to worry that I’ll interfere in her life. I know I signed all my rights away.” She would have to move out of Iowa. How could she know where Winnie lived without being close to her? It hit her all at once. Those times she’d held Winnie, she’d been holding her own daughter. If only she’d known in those moments, she wouldn’t have held back her heart, she would’ve opened up the gates and savored every second. “I’m—I’m not asking to be a part, I know it’s a closed—”
“Would you stop saying that? Of course you’ll see her. You’re her mother. I’m not a monster.”
“I never said you were. In fact, you’re the opposite. I couldn’t have dreamed of a better father—”
“I wasn’t the one who asked for the closed adoption!” It was as if he hadn’t heard a word she’d just said. He looked up at the ceiling. “I...I need some time to process this.”
“Yes.” So did she. But how was she going to do that when both of them were in the same house? Could she even keep it a secret? She couldn’t lie to them, and Grandma had already seen the photograph. She could just imagine how her grandparents were going to take the news.
“I won’t ask you to keep this from them.” Bruce gestured toward the doorway. “It’s written all over your face.”
Most people thought her face never revealed anything. In fact, she’d been told she had a blank resting face, but Bruce always saw more. Not that he would ever want anything to do with her after the case.
The doorbell rang. Delaney’s hand moved to her holster. It was cruel that she had to be on the job right now, but with this new revelation she had all the more reason to make sure Bruce and Winnie stayed safe. “Stay here.”
Grandpa appeared in the kitchen, his hand also resting suspiciously on his waist, ready for anything. “Sylvia, honey,” he called out to Grandma. “Are we expecting anyone?”
Grandma exited the hallway with Winnie on her hip and her other hand on her waist. It didn’t surprise Delaney that everyone was packing. The legacy of law enforcement in her family ran deep.
Grandma’s curious eyes met Delaney’s for the briefest of moments, but she didn’t ask any questions. “No, I don’t know of anyone coming over. I can’t imagine a threat ringing the doorbell, though.”
Grandpa kept his eye on the back door. “You never know. I’ve seen lots of diversion tactics. Better safe...”
“Okay, then.” Grandma pointed at Bruce. “I think it’d be best if you came with me.” Bruce took Winnie from her arms. Grandpa kept his head up as he bent down and opened a cupboard where he flipped open the floorboard, revealing a well-lit set of stairs.
Delaney’s mouth dropped. “Have something to tell me, Grandpa?” Unless there were some active threats against her grandfather that she didn’t know about, why did they need a secret basement?
He shrugged as he closed the door over them. “It’s a tornado shelter.” His expression looked sheepish. “It might double as a bomb shelter or panic room, with a fully stocked pantry, kitchen, living room and storage area. So we can be comfortable if we need to stay there.”
“Of course it doubles as that.” The sarcasm ran thick. She pointed. “You get the front. I’ll guard the rear.” Delaney situated herself so her back was against the fridge. Her vantage point afforded her a view of the windows, the back door and a sliver of the front door in the entryway.
Grandpa frowned. “Shipping truck is driving away. Package left on our front doorstep.”
A bomb? Delaney ran past him onto the porch, her gun ready. There were actually two items on the porch. The first was a thin envelope addressed to her grandpa and stamped Same Day. She picked it up and felt every nook and cranny of the letter. It was too thin and flat to hold anything but a piece of paper. The return address was in Des Moines, but one she didn’t recognize. The sender was listed. Kathy Bradford. Why would the marshal’s wife send something? She eyed the second package suspiciously as she opened the letter.
Deputy Patton,
Threats against the Assistant US Attorney have been made. Package contains burner phones. Please call me. Didn’t occur to me you might think package was a bomb until Kathy went to mail for me to avoid suspicion. (Hi, honey. It’s Kathy. Miss seeing your face. We need to have you over for dinner once you get settled.)
Marshal Stephen Bradford (scribed by Kathy.)
If Delaney hadn’t been emotionally exhausted, Kathy’s note would’ve made her smile. Marshal Bradford would’ve never said please either, when issuing a direct order. She picked up the package and closed the door behind her. “All clear. It’s from Bradford.”
Grandpa moved to open the floorboard. “False alarm.”
“Time to go back upstairs.” Bruce’s voice could be heard when the door opened.
Winnie complained, “But Grandma said we could use flashlights.”
Ten minutes ago Delaney would’ve found it cute that the little girl was so comfortable calling a woman she’d just met Grandma. Now, knowing Winnie was her daughter, her heart beat so fast she felt dizzy. Delaney grabbed the top of the dining room chair to steady herself.
She didn’t miss the way Grandpa gave her a sidelong glance. “I’m fine,” she said softly. What did Bruce think of Winnie’s innocent use of the name Grandma? Winnie didn’t know the truth yet, so she’d probably just picked up on Delaney addressing her as such.
She didn’t wait to see Bruce’s expression. Their feet could be heard on the stairs, so she stepped back into the study and closed the door behind her as she pulled out the first burner phone. Before she called Bradford she wanted to see what Kurt had discovered. It took three rings before Kurt picked up. “It’s Delaney. I’ll only be using this number once.”
“I wondered when you’d be checking in. You’re not going to like what I found.”
* * *
Bruce avoided meeting Sylvia’s and Bob’s eyes, but he could feel them both staring at him.
Mrs. Patton cleared her throat. “You can call me Sylvia, honey.”
“I like Grandma.” Winnie frowned, upset she was being asked to change.
It was just like Winnie to want to call her by the first name she’d heard Delaney say when they arrived. She was stubborn that way, and had gotten attached to Delaney so quickly, seeming to want to copy her in every way.
Sylvia bit her lip, clearly unsure of what to say next. “It’s okay,” Bruce said. While he wasn’t ready to tell Winnie that Delaney was her mom, she would know soon enough. It struck him that these people, the ones he’d instantly liked moments ago, were now, in a strange way, family. He couldn’t process that.
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