“You can do this. It will take patience on everyone’s part, but I believe it can work, especially with Alayna’s help.”
“Right. She’s the more patient optimistic one,” I say clipped.
George rubs his forehead and sits back down in his chair.
“That’s not what I was insinuating, but yeah, she’s those things. It doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re capable of doing this on your own. But you two are a team now. You can get through this.”
“Alayna has to go back on the pill. I can’t have a newborn while I’m trying to raise a teenager. I don’t know what I was thinking before.”
“Lord, Damon, you’re all over the place. I don’t think that news would go over well today. You tell her that, and it will look like you’re choosing Tiffany’s child over Alayna’s.”
“You’re right. It’s not like we’re going to have a lot of time for sex in the near future, anyway, so I can wait to tell her. How much time do I need to spend with Cameron? Do I hover or leave him alone?”
“Damn, man, chill out. Things will fall into place as you go.” George points at my glass. “Finish that drink, call Roger to pick you up, and tell Alayna the news. Go over to Tiffany’s, and show Cameron you’re going to be there for him from here on out.”
***
Walking into the living room, I drop my briefcase and suit jacket on the sofa. Loosening my tie, I stroll into the kitchen and take in the delicious smell of Italian food.
Alayna turns and gifts me a luminous smile.
“I fixed your favorite–lasagna.” Shit, she’s sure smiling brightly. I should’ve called her and at least told her not to cook.
Taking a potholder out of her hand, I lay it on the counter and bring her warm body against mine. I hug her like I’ve never hugged her before. I need her strength like I’ve never needed it before, too.
“I have some news.”
“So do I,” she says before she kisses my neck, “but you tell me yours first.”
I pull her back and hold onto her shoulders.
“Tiffany died this afternoon.”
“Oh, my god.”
“Apparently it was sudden. I guess Lori and some of Cameron’s friends are there with him, but we need to get over there. How is this going to work, Alayna, and how did I let you talk me into this?”
She jerks free from me, and tears flood her eyes at warp speed.
“I talked you into this? Oh, no you don’t. You are not going to start blaming me from day one! You said three weeks ago, on your own, that you were certain you wanted to adopt him.” She pokes me in the chest, and I’m wondering where all this sudden hostility is coming from.
“I might’ve come up with the idea of meeting him, but I didn’t start this; Tiffany did, and you finished it, so don’t even go there!”
Alayna bursts into tears and covers her face. Swiftly, I yank her into my arms. “Baby, I’m sorry. You’re right. I came to you with the final decision, so I shouldn’t be placing blame on you. I’m just … I’m scared.” I kiss her hair over and over, trying to soothe her.
“I’m scared, too, Damon. I’m terrified, but we’ll get through it as long as we’re in it together.” She leans back and gazes at me as she wipes the tears away. “Don’t let this divide us.”
My knuckles run over her cheekbones. “Never. I’m sorry. What was your news? It must be good since you fixed my favorite meal.” I try to get a smile out of her, but it’s not working.
“It can wait. Let me cover the lasagna, and we can head to Tiffany’s.”
Alayna
The car ride feels like an eternity. I hold Damon’s hand and stare out the window.
I’m pregnant.
I’m angry Tiffany died on the day I made this discovery, and that makes me feel selfish. It should be a happy day.
The reality that we will soon have a teenager living in our home is setting in. Can I be a good mother to a teenager and a newborn at the same time? Talk about being on different ends of the spectrum.
What’s done is done. The legal documents have been signed. And if I put my fear aside, I believe we’re doing the right thing by adopting Cameron. He’s a great kid. He was quickly receptive to us, and the bond he is developing with Damon is healing both of their wounds.
Bottom line–I’m terrified.
We pull up at Tiffany’s home, and I inhale long and exhale longer.
“It’s about time,” Lori says at the door. I don’t like this woman. She’s combative with everyone; Damon, me, the nurses. Even Cameron hears about it if he isn’t doing exactly what she wants.
She’s been by Tiffany’s side the last handful of times we’ve picked Cameron up, so I’ve witnessed her sour disposition.
“Don’t start. We’re here now and will take good care of Cameron,” I say.
Damon ignores her, and I know it is only for our child’s sake.
Our child and not the one I’m carrying.
He passes her and goes straight to the living room. I follow and discover Cameron on the sofa. There are a couple of boys in the room besides his good friend, Marcus. Damon sits next to him and pats his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Cameron,” he says. What else can you say? In the end, Tiffany apologized for all she put Damon through. It was hard knowing he had that visit with her, but at the same time, I was grateful he received closure.
He felt like she meant it, and no matter what support I give him, it was something only she could contribute to his healing. We feared Cameron’s biological father would come into the picture, so Trent even tracked him down.
He wanted nothing to do with Tiffany or his child, so that book was closed with his signature on the dotted line, and we found out where Cameron got his red hair.
We’re also only a few weeks out from Christmas. It seems so unfair for a child to lose his only known parent during the holiday season, but life isn’t always fair. I’m trying to count our blessings.
Tiffany has been taken to the funeral home upon our arrival. We sit and make small talk with the boys while Lori does I’m not sure what around the house. She’s moving from room to room.
Honestly, I don’t care what she does as long as she doesn’t take anything from the home that Cameron would want to remember his mother.
Although it’s not the best timing, Marcus cracks a few jokes, like a nervous teenage boy would, and it gets us all laughing. It’s nice to see Cameron smile.
“Do you want to stay here tonight or go to the penthouse?” Damon asks.
“Um, I guess your place.”
“It’s your home, too.” Damon smacks Cameron lightly on the back. “Why don’t you pack a bag, and we’ll go. We can figure everything else out later.”
I guess that is what we’ll do … figure it out later.
Cameron’s friends leave one by one, and we drop Marcus off on the way to the penthouse. Tiffany’s home is paid for, so it will be sold and the money put into a trust for Cameron’s college. We will provide everything else he needs.
***
The time leading up to the funeral is taxing. I’ve had to deal with Lori more than I’ve cared to. We arranged for food to be served at Tiffany’s after the service, so I went over yesterday to help her clean and set things up. I vomited once this morning, but Damon assumed it was from nerves.
The service was … well, more of a religious speech. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot that Tiffany did other than be a mom, prey on young boys, and mooch off men. Terrible to say but true. So, the service focused more on the guests’ relationship with God.
Cameron appeared to appreciate the kind words said about her being a good mother, too, so I was grateful that was at least mentioned.
I fix a plate of food and take a seat next to Felicia, who is here strictly to support me. “Tell me I’m not a bad person for wanting this whole event over with. I’m tired of walking into this house,” I say.
Felicia bumps me with her shoulder. “You’re not a bad person. No
one likes funerals or the events surrounding them. Well, maybe the drinking part.” She eyes Seth, who is holding a beer. “Damn, I could use a drink right now.”
“You and me both. I’d love a glass of wine. Crap, Damon will likely be trying to feed me one once we’re home.”
“When are you going to tell him about the baby?” she asks quietly.
“Soon. I want to give it a little more time since Cameron just moved in. We haven’t had sex in five days. That’s the longest stretch in months. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I haven’t minded since I’ve felt ill every day, but is this how it’s going to be?”
“Give each of you a break. It’s been a stressful time.”
“You are right, and when will Damon and I ever get a break from the stress?”
“Never, sweetheart. We’re not playing house. It’s marriage, babies, and real life and death. Only when we played with our dolls was it easy.” Felicia squeezes my hand. “You and I can do this. It’s not summer camp, but we can tackle child-rearing.”
Chapter Twelve
Damon
It’s late evening when we start to get hungry again. Alayna decided to make hotdogs and hamburgers to satisfy a growing teenage boy.
We are finishing up when she moves from the table over to the kitchen sink. Cameron glances her way, and I see him staring at her ass.
“Don’t even think about it,” I say sternly.
His gaze comes back to mine, and he looks puzzled.
“What?”
“You know what.”
His eyes grow round as saucers. “Gross. Isn’t she supposed to be like a mom? She’s old, too.”
“Uh, well, yeah, so why are you looking over there?”
“She has mustard on her pants.” He shakes his head at me, and I’ve royally screwed up.
“Sorry. I, uh, I had a thing for older girls when I was your age. That’s sort of how I ended up with your mom not much later.”
“I heard the word old. Am I being called old? I certainly hope not,” Alayna interjects as she approaches the table.
Cameron looks at me and smirks.
“You’re not old to me,” I say to her smiling. “Cameron was just stating how young you look for your age. Isn’t that right, Cameron?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he says with a chuckle.
“Oh, and you have mustard on your behind,” I add with a grin. Alayna frowns and blushes before Cameron and me. Twisting her body, she attempts to see the evidence.
“Shoot. I’ll go change while you boys have your laugh.”
Cameron chuckles again, and I’m relieved I smoothed that one over. I have a lot to learn. Knowing when to keep my mouth shut is one of those things.
“I do like this one girl, and she’s older. Fifteen actually,” he says without looking up at me.
“Oh, yeah? Have you told her?”
“No, I don’t know if she would date me since I’m only a freshman.”
“You’re a little young for dating. Maybe admire her from afar until you can drive. We’ll get you a car then, and you can take girls out on dates. Maybe I will pass down my Nissan GT-R to you.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Sure, you’ll need a car.” I lean in closer to Cameron. “Listen, I haven’t talked with Alayna yet, but I’m seriously thinking we should move upstate to a larger home.”
“Larger? This place is massive.” He glances around the spacious kitchen.
“Yes, but Rylan might be pissed when he finds out you took over his bedroom. We hope to one day have a baby, too, so we’ll need a larger home. I want you to have all the space you need.”
“As long as I can see my friends, I don’t care where we live.”
“Of course, I won’t move you away from them.”
He nods and goes back to eating his burger. I know things will not stay this easy. We’re both on our best behavior right now. Well, he is, anyway, and I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Alayna
I feel the best at night, so once Damon’s warm body is in bed, I can’t resist scooting against it. I press my chest to his, but he moves back from me.
I scoot closer, yet again, and kiss the skin at the dip of his throat.
“Mmm …” he utters, but he’s soon moving my arm that has wrapped around him. “Maybe we should sleep. It’s been a long day.”
OK, something is up. He never turns down sex. I mean never. He’s usually the instigator.
“Is this about Cameron? He can’t hear us. This place is too big.”
“I’m tired.”
“OK, I guess it’s understandable after the week we’ve had. I’ll let you sleep.”
I curl my body back against him, but he moves his lower half away from me. Our world is already changing, and it’s going to take some getting used to. I sigh against his chest and try to fall asleep.
***
Feeling cool, I roll over to find Damon. His body is not against me, so I open my eyes. He’s not in bed, either. I glance to the clock and see it’s six in the morning. Where in the world is he at six on a Saturday?
Climbing out of bed, I feel a little dizzy. I pee and splash my face with cool water. After throwing on some sweats and a t-shirt, I roam the hall and locate him in the gym.
“You’re working out early for a weekend.”
He glances over and furrows his brow as he runs on the treadmill. “Good morning.” It’s all he says before he’s turning his head forward. I don’t think I’m imagining his irritation upon seeing me.
“I guess I will go make some coffee.”
“I’ll have a cup after I shower.”
Damon never looks my way again, and I’m feeling like something isn’t right with him. Lord, I pray he isn’t having second thoughts about Cameron.
As I make coffee and nibble on saltine crackers, I think about how we’ve had some of our most serious conversations in the shower or tub.
Maybe I should shower with him. He will be cornered and have no choice but to open up to me. I quietly keep checking down the hallway until I hear him enter our bedroom. As soon as I believe he’s in the shower, I go inside our bathroom.
Stripping down, I climb inside. He’s rinsing his hair but soon opens his eyes.
“Alayna, why are you in here?”
I’m giving a pouty face, but I can’t help it. “You love when we shower together. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.” Grabbing a bar of soap, Damon begins lathering his body.
“I don’t believe you. We’re talking, so spill it. Is this about Cameron?”
“No … I mean, not directly.”
“Then what is it?” I step closer to him and slide my hand up along his neck and into his raven hair.
He takes hold of it and pulls it back down. His eyes close, and from the tightening of them, he looks like he’s in physical pain.
“Dammit, all I want to do is turn you around and fuck you hard.”
“Oh, please do. Please do that, so I feel like something is normal.”
“I can’t.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“I’ve been thinking, and I believe you need to go back on the pill. I’ve been trying to avoid telling you this, but I’m dying to touch you. I miss—”
“You want me to go back on the pill? You don’t want a baby?”
“I just think we should wait longer. I’m sorry I’ve been back and forth about it, but we’ve gotten Cameron a little sooner than we expected, and it’s a huge adjustment.”
“You just think?!”
I’m out of the shower in lightning speed. I barely get a towel around me before I’m heading into our bedroom to dress. Water is dripping from me as I enter our walk-in closet, but I don’t care. I want away from him.
“What are you doing?” he asks. “We need to discuss this.”
“It appears you’ve made up your mind, so why talk?”
“I understand you’re pissed, but I need you to see my side
here. I’ve had a lot of changes in my life.”
“Poor baby, I’ve had them, too,” I spout off as I yank on a pair of jeans.
“You’re leaving. I feel it.”
“You’re right. I’m getting out of here for the day.”
“You promised no more running.”
I look at him and point. “This isn’t me running. This is me consciously removing myself from a situation where I really want to smack you.”
What the fuck?
“I didn’t say I never want a baby. I only want to wait awhile.”
“Well, isn’t that convenient for you to spring that on me after I’ve already gone off my pill.”
Once I throw a sweatshirt over my head, I race to the living room and find my purse. Marching to the foyer, I swipe tears from my eyes.
Damon is on my heels the entire way. Thank God teenagers despise this time of morning, so Cameron doesn’t have to witness a fight as soon as he moves in.
“Alayna, you’re not leaving!”
“Oh, yes, I am.” After pounding on the elevator button a few times, the doors finally open.
“I’m sorry, but I had to tell you some time. I didn’t know any other way to say it.” He’s holding a towel around his waist with one hand and scratching his head with the other.
“Yeah, well, here’s something I can spring on you; I’m pregnant!” Tears rain down my cheeks, and the shocked look on his face is all I see before the doors shut.
I’m pissed and heartbroken.
Damon
I’m frozen as the elevator doors shut.
Alayna is pregnant.
Fuck.
I just told her I don’t want a baby right now, and she’s already carrying one. Damn, I win asshole of the year for sure.
She’s carrying my child, and now she’s upset and out in the cold. I race to my room to throw on clothes, but I’ll never catch her if she’s driving.
Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I call Albert, my front door guy, but he says she didn’t go out that way. I figured as much, but I was hoping she was on foot.
Vow of Devotion: 2nd Novel Addition (One Urge, One Plea, Keep Me Trilogy) Page 9