by Sara Orwig
“I thought you might want to look at some of these. These are Elise’s recipe books.”
“Perfect,” she said, carrying the books back to the family room. She placed them on a game table and sat down with one and flipped through it.
“While you do that, I’m going to check on Ray and the livestock and see if they’re home now or still out. I left them early today.”
“That’s because I’m here and interfering with you.”
He stood near her with his phone in hand. He looked at her and put the phone in his pocket, then touched her chin lightly. Tilting her face up, he looked into her eyes.
“You have never interfered in any way whatsoever,” he said, looking intently at her. His gaze lowered to her mouth and she couldn’t get her breath.
“That’s good,” she whispered, barely able to get out the words.
He leaned down, his lips brushing hers lightly and her heart slammed against her ribs. His mouth opened hers as he kissed her.
While they kissed, his hands slipped beneath her arms and he pulled her up into his embrace.
Desire ignited, heating her, causing her to cling to him tightly and kiss him in return. His warm body was hard against her, his kiss breathtaking. She wanted him more than ever and realized the risks to her heart climbed with each second they kissed.
At the moment, she was willing to risk her heart. She wanted Mike to kiss her as much as she wanted to hold and kiss him. He was too many wonderful things rolled into six feet of sexy male and her desire had built steadily every minute they had been together.
Would she look back with regret that she had not risked more of herself and her heart? Maybe this time was a once in a lifetime event. She stopped thinking and kissed him fervently. He yanked his sweater off, dropping it and reaching to pull her sweater over her head to toss it away and she gazed into his dark eyes that held fires in their depths.
She ran her hands lightly across his chest that was muscled, solid, tapering to a narrow waist and a flat, muscled stomach. He was hard, handsome, too appealing, and she inhaled deeply, looking up to meet his hungry gaze.
The desire in his expression shook her as he unfastened her bra and it fell away. He cupped her breasts, caressing her, holding her, leaning down to kiss each breast.
Moaning softly with pleasure, she clutched his muscled shoulder and ran her other hand through his hair.
“Mike, please,” she whispered, wanting his kisses, wanting his loving. In moments of passion she couldn’t guard her heart.
His hands were at her waist and in seconds her jeans fell around her ankles. His hands followed them, caressing her, sliding lower over her, between her thighs, stroking her while he kissed her.
She moved beneath his touch, desire engulfing her. She still wore boots and her jeans wrapped around her legs. “Mike, wait,” she whispered, trying to gather her wits and do what was practical.
“Wait,” she whispered again. As she tried to get her breath and talk, she tugged up her jeans, aware of Mike’s steady gaze. As if to emphasize what she said, his cell phone played a tune. Mike ignored it, still studying her, looking at her as if memorizing how she looked.
“Savannah,” he whispered, reaching for her.
She shook her head. “Get your phone, Mike, or I will. We’ll wait for a time with fewer interruptions and when I can think things through. I’ll be here all week.”
He still stared at her with a hungry look that made it difficult to stick by what she said to him. She grabbed up her bra and sweater and turned away, walking away from him before they were back in each other’s arms.
What she had said to him had been sensible, what she should have done. It was not what she wanted. She wanted Mike’s loving. If she gave herself to him, how much would she give her heart to him at the same time?
As he answered his phone, his voice was husky and quiet. He watched her with that solemn, hungry look that made her heartbeat speed. He was still aroused, ready to love, obviously wanting her.
From the first moment Mike had come into her life, he had changed it and taken away a lot of her hurt. She wanted him. Was it just one more big mistake she was about to make in her life?
As she stood looking into his dark eyes, she felt drawn to him. His desire was palpable, tugging at her. She tingled from his every touch while her lips still could feel the pressure of his.
With ragged breathing, she took a step toward him, realized she was going right back to him when she shouldn’t. She turned, forcing herself to move, every inch of her wanting to return to his arms, but this wasn’t the time. She needed to think because if and when she did yield to loving, it was going to cause her a lot of turmoil.
She went upstairs to her suite, closing the door and trying to get a sensible perspective, hoping to cool so she could go back into a room with him without walking straight into his arms.
How hard would it be to drive memories of him out of her life? To tell Mike and Scotty goodbye? Scotty had become a factor in the equation because he had stolen her heart away, too. Could she view them as simply two wonderful beings that she had had the good fortune to meet, get to know and then tell them goodbye forever?
Common sense said it would be a lot easier if she and Mike did not make love.
She took a deep breath. Could she resist if he kissed her again? Did she want to resist? Making love with Mike at this time in her life might help heal some of her heartache over her broken engagement. Each time she thought that, she also thought how much more difficult it would be to tell Mike goodbye. The question constantly nagged her now—was this more poor judgment about a man? She couldn’t really know Mike well in the time they had been together.
She needed to resist him for some strong reasons, for his sake and for her own. If only she could hold to what she knew was best for both of them. Otherwise, she would just be compounding the hurt they each already suffered.
Six
On Tuesday morning, Mike and Ray each wielded chain saws, cutting fallen tree limbs, while three more men carried the logs to the back of a pickup. Mike paused to gaze at a smashed barbed wire fence while two men worked to erect a new section of fence where the tree limbs had fallen. He looked up at the tall oak that stood over the fence.
Ray straightened. “A couple more big limbs and we’ll be through.”
“I’m still surprised the limbs broke. This tree has been here since I bought the place and I don’t recall this happening before,” Mike said, looking up at a tall oak with thick branches.
“We had a lot of ice and a lot of wind. Bad combination,” Ray remarked before bending to continue sawing a downed branch. “Those limbs fell squarely on that part of the fence and took the gate down with it. Ice made it all heavy.”
Mike returned to work, glad to have a chain saw for the job and that they didn’t have cattle in this section when the fence went down.
“So far, the main bridge and this are the worst damages we have?” he asked.
Ray nodded. “Since you’re replacing the main bridge across the creek, we put up barricades and a sign in case any stranger tried to cross. Not likely we’ll have anyone.”
“No, but I’m glad for the barricades.”
“Some lines were down, but they’re getting fixed today. We’ve got hay out and ice chopped for the livestock and the men are still checking on them.”
“All right. Let’s get this done,” Mike said, resuming sawing up another fallen limb. He focused on what he was doing and when he had the logs cut, he moved on to another limb to cut more while a man began stacking logs to carry a pile to the truck.
Mike worked until midafternoon, then climbed into the pickup. He and the men had driven out here before dawn and he was ready to get back home to Scotty and Savannah.
He wanted her in his bed and he thought it was
only a matter of time. He felt she was just a breath away from seduction. She made it obvious that desire consumed her at moments, too. At the same time, guilt fell over him because he didn’t want to add to her pain. For that matter, he didn’t want to add to his own. He couldn’t love her the way she deserved with a whole heart, the way he had fallen in love with Elise. It would be a temporary fling, something that would make him happy briefly, but could hurt Savannah in far too many ways.
He sighed and shook his head. He needed to leave her alone, let her go on with her life and heal in her own time and way without adding more hurt.
She had driven out of the storm into his life and changed so much about his daily existence. He liked having her around and so did Scotty.
Was he ready to get out now? To start seeing more friends and socializing more? Or was it just that he liked Savannah staying in his house and with him constantly?
He suspected the latter because he didn’t feel ready for any serious relationship or even any light entanglement. He knew full well that Savannah didn’t want one, either, and that made a huge difference in being with her. He could fully relax because she didn’t want commitment. They weren’t going to fall in love with each other. She understood his loss and he understood all that had happened to her.
She shouldn’t blame herself for misjudging the guy she had planned to marry, but Mike didn’t blame her for worrying about her brothers. If someone got his sister pregnant and then told her he didn’t want the baby, Mike would have a difficult time ignoring the whole thing. What a jerk Savannah had fallen in love with and she didn’t need any further complications in her life.
For different reasons they each didn’t want commitment, involvement, a lasting relationship. But the warmth, the reaffirmation of loving, the fun and release, the excitement—he thought she wanted that as much as he did. If he had tried, he thought last night he could have overcome her reluctance, but he had done the right thing in leaving her alone.
She had driven some of his grief away. He hoped she would find real happiness and someone to love her, a dad for her baby. He recalled watching her read to Scotty as Scotty had turned locks of her hair in his tiny fingers. That had stirred mixed feelings in him—she would make a good mother for Scotty was one thought. Another was a deep ache that it wasn’t Elise. At moments life seemed tough, but that was just part of living. Mike wished Savannah would be here longer and not going so far away.
The idea of a marriage of convenience occurred to him, but he rejected it for a lot of reasons. It wouldn’t be fair to her. She deserved so much more. They would both be tied into a relationship and Mike wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t want any marriage of convenience and she probably wouldn’t, either.
Feeling eagerness to be home grow, Mike pulled beneath the roof over the drive by the side door, locked up and went inside. He heard Savannah’s laughter and followed the sound, stepping into the family room. She sat on the floor with Scotty with a board game between them. Scotty lay on his stomach with his feet in the air while he studied the board. When she looked up, her big blue eyes focused on him and excitement bubbled in Mike.
Scotty jumped up and ran to him. “Daddy!” he exclaimed. Mike caught him to swing him up and hug him. Scotty hugged Mike, his small arms wrapping around Mike’s neck. “We’re playing a game.”
“It’s fun. Come play with us,” Savannah said.
“You finish this game and then I’ll play,” Mike said, setting Scotty on his feet. Scotty ran back to plop down cross-legged and look at the board again.
Mike sat on the floor beside them. “You’re nice to come home to,” he said and she looked up.
“You’re a family man to the core, Mike. That’s nice of you to say.”
“I meant it,” he said, wondering whether she thought he was just trying to make her feel good.
“Thank you kindly. I’ll remember you telling me long after I’m gone,” she said. “We’re in a big game.”
“I’m sure. Scotty is a little competitive.”
“I wonder where in the world he gets that,” she said and Mike grinned.
“When you’re ready, you can take my place so you can play with Scotty.”
“Finish your game. I’ll play the next one,” Mike said, his cell jingling. He pulled it out of a pocket and glanced at the screen. “Ed. This will be about your car.” Mike answered and was silent while he listened.
“Okay, Ed. Whatever you need to do. Russ is going to call me?” He was quiet a moment, then said, “Sure. Thanks so much.” As soon as Mike told Ed goodbye and put his phone away, he turned to her.
“Your car was badly damaged. It’s beyond Ed’s equipment and expertise, so he had it towed to Verity to a dealer there. Russ will call me after he’s looked at the car and figures out what you’ll need, but it may be Wednesday before he can get to it because of this storm. He’s backed up with customers with car problems. Sorry, this may take longer and it may be more expensive.”
“I’m just thankful to be where I can get help. I still can’t bear to think how close I came to getting caught out in that storm with no help.”
“Just forget it. Don’t think about what didn’t happen,” he said.
“It may be more worthwhile for me to buy another car. I didn’t pay attention—is Verity a good place to get a car or should I go back to Fort Worth or Dallas?”
“It depends on what you want,” he said. “There is a good dealership in Verity. But Ed will see to it that the mechanic calls you with a report and estimate before he does any work to the car.”
“Oh, good. Did anyone say anything about the roads today?”
“I’m guessing by now we can get through, but I don’t know the official answer. If we don’t get more snow, what we have will melt and be gone, particularly on the roads. It’ll refreeze at night, but by tomorrow afternoon, the roads should be clear enough to travel. If we can, do you want to go to town tomorrow afternoon?”
“That’s fine with me.”
“And that is more than fine with me,” he said. “I’ll go see what I can rustle up for dinner tonight. We have a freezer full. You and Scotty just keep playing.”
Mike left, finding a pot roast with vegetables that he placed in the oven. He also found a pie that he’d serve for dessert. Over a counter dividing the kitchen from the family room, he could see Savannah and Scotty. Savannah was laughing, Scotty looked happy and again, Mike was glad Savannah was with them.
Mike set the table and poured ice water into tumblers, then turned and found Savannah standing a few feet away, watching him. “You’re doing a fine job.”
“I’ve learned how. If we don’t get more snow, Millie will be here tomorrow and the food will improve.”
“It doesn’t need to improve. It’s delicious and I’m impressed with your culinary skills.”
“I’d rather you’d be impressed with some other skills I have,” he said quietly, stepping close to her. “I’ll show you later.”
She smiled at him and fanned herself. “I can’t wait,” she said in a sultry voice. She glanced into the other room at Scotty. “You better get in there,” she said in a practical tone. “It’s your turn to play now, so don’t disappoint him.”
“I’ll go play. We have another twenty minutes to wait while everything heats up. I’ll put rolls in during the last ten minutes.”
“I can do that. Where are they?”
“In a bag in the freezer right at the front. Just holler if you can’t find them.”
“Daddy, it’s your turn.”
“I’m coming, Scotty,” he said. “Thanks for playing with him.”
“I had fun,” she said. “You better get in there. He’s coming to get you.”
“Here I am and I’ll race you back there,” Mike said. Scotty hurried to the board and threw himself down to lau
gh.
“I beat you, Daddy.”
“So you did.” Mike sat on the floor, aware Savannah came to sit near them and watch. He thought about being in the kitchen with her. Whenever he flirted with her, she would flirt in return and then end it, or if they kissed, her responses were brief. Was she scared to let go and trust herself with having fun flirting and kissing? He had always trusted his judgment and he had a feeling this misjudgment of her ex-fiancé had shaken her badly. He looked at her as she sat watching Scotty, but as if she felt his gaze on her, she turned to look at him. For a moment the air between them seemed to sizzle. He saw her draw a deep breath and thought she felt it, too.
He wanted to kiss her. Whether wisdom or folly, he definitely wanted to hold and kiss her.
After a time, she went to the kitchen and he could hear her putting the rolls in the oven.
Mike let Scotty win, aware his son was getting better at the game. “So how many times have you won today, Scotty?”
“I won this morning, this afternoon and I won once with Miss Savannah and I won now.”
“So that’s how many times?” Mike asked. Scotty counted on his fingers and then held up four fingers.
“I have won four times.”
“Very good,” Mike said. “That’s right, Scotty. Let’s go wash our hands because I’m guessing it’s almost time to eat.” He stood and they headed to a bathroom.
All through dinner Mike was aware of Savannah. He was eager to be alone with her, yet wanted his time with Scotty. He got Scotty ready for bed and then let him pick out three books for Savannah to read to him.
Mike turned down his bed and listened to her read a familiar Dr. Seuss story that Scotty loved. Mike sat near them, looking at Savannah in the rocking chair, Scotty on her lap as she read to him. He toyed with a long lock of her hair, turning it in his fingers while he looked at the page as she read.
When she reached the end of the page, Scotty turned the page for her.
“Thank you, Scotty,” she said and continued to read.