I can’t was on the tip of my tongue. I had obligations, cats to feed, a job to keep, an apartment to clean, bills to pay and, uh... flowers to water. Yeah, that. The guy barely knew me. I barely knew him either, apart from being a fan of his music. Why the hell would he invite me to come along on his tour? I supposed I did give pretty good head, though I was amazed that the single fact would motivate him to make this sort of offer. If I took him up on it, on the off-chance that he really did mean it, I’d almost certainly lose my job – though it was a shitty job anyway and I'd been wanting to quit – and I’d have to explain to a lot of people why the hell I was doing something so utterly irresponsible. Really though, could I go with a simple ‘No thanks’ and not regret it?
Once I realized that, I knew there was only one way for me to go.
“Okay,” I said.
“Cool,” he replied, and blew smoke into my face.
“I’ll have to make a couple of phone calls.” I watched his face carefully for any tell-tale signs that he’d only been fucking with me. Instead of giving them to me, he turned away, leaned over the edge of the bed, and a moment later handed me his iPhone.
…well.
I touched the screen and watched it light up, telling me that the time was five twenty-six in the morning. Tentatively, I hovered my fingertip over the icons on the screen, then turned back to Rhys.
“I’ve never actually used one of these before,” I admitted, feeling dumb. I had been wanting to get a smartphone for a while, but I'd always had other priorities thus far.
He moved closer and reached for the phone. With a quick tap of his finger, he produced a keypad for me to use, and I dialed Zach’s number.
Five twenty-six in the morning. He’d kill me.
I hit send and moved the phone to my ear.
“When are you guys leaving?” I wanted to know, listening to the dial tone.
“I dunno.” Rhys blew smoke up at the ceiling. “Some time this afternoon.”
Zach picked up sounding like he wasn’t all there. I couldn’t blame him.
“Hey,” I yelled into the phone in order to catch his attention. “I need you to do me a favor.”
“Who’s this?” he asked, confused.
“Dude, it’s Blue.” I waited for him to finally figure it out, and when he did, he made a rather strange sound of recognition.
“Where the fuck did you go?” he demanded to know. “We were looking for you.’
“Yeah, sorry,” I choked him off. I had no desire to discuss this over the phone, especially not with Rhys listening in. “Hey, I need you to bring me my backpack.”
“What, now?” He was waking up, I heard it in his voice. “It’s the fucking middle of the night. Whose phone are you calling from?”
“Just do me a favor and bring me my bag, okay?”
“I’m not getting up right now,” he said. “I’m still drunk.”
I sighed and tried not to get frustrated with him. “What time can you make it?”
“I dunno,” he muttered. “I gotta be at work at ten. Where are you at?”
“Meet me at a quarter past nine then,” I proposed, and he gave a grunt that I took to be consent. “Just meet me back by Eagles Ballroom. Front doors. Set your damn alarm.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he whined, and then he hung up at me.
“Thanks,” I told Rhys and handed him his phone back. I’d all but forgotten about the cigarette in my hand, and only just managed to drop the chunk of ash onto a notepad, complete with hotel logo, that lay on my nightstand. There wasn’t an ashtray in sight.
“Is this a smoking room?” I asked, turning back to Rhys.
“No,” he replied, and his chuckle was infectious.
He frowned at the phone he was still holding, and tapped the screen several times in quick succession. “I’ll set an alarm for you,” he informed me, and I found that strangely touching.
“Thank you,” I said, watching as he set the phone back onto the nightstand and sank into his pillow. I finished my cigarette and followed suit, already aware that I would not be able to sleep well, if at all. I could hardly have been any more of a nervous wreck. Part of me was surprised I was still able to function. At least the knocking on the wall had stopped. Rhys appeared to enjoy falling asleep with the TV on, which I hated, but I didn’t feel like it was my place to say anything.
Hell, I was really going to do this.
I stared into the darkness, not certain whether I would regret accepting Rhys' offer, but secure in the knowledge that I would regret it if I hadn’t. Now, I just had to figure out why he had made it. It was very likely that he wanted me around solely as a convenient way of getting laid. Maybe it was also possible he just wanted company, with sex being something of an added bonus.
Oh, who was I trying to fool?
Mind churning, I sighed and closed my eyes, trying my very best to relax. My emotions were running far too high for me to catch a good night’s sleep, but with a little luck, I’d get at least a few hours’ rest.
+++
The shrill, unfamiliar melody cut through my dreams like a serrated knife, grating and painful. I had a hard time getting my eyes to open. I’d fallen asleep eventually, like I’d hoped, but not for long, and it had not been very restful. Sitting up, I realized I felt like I was living the aftermath of a really bad night of drinking, even though I hadn’t had a lot. My temples were throbbing. The taste in my mouth suggested something had died in it while I’d been sleeping.
There was movement next to me. I watched Rhys rolling over, turning off the alarm on his phone and going back to sleep almost immediately. I wanted to do the same, but meeting Zach was something I couldn’t postpone if I actually wanted to go on this crazy adventure.
Holy hell, I was really going to do this. I still couldn’t quite believe what I’d gotten myself into.
I found my clothes piece by piece in the semi-darkness, putting on day-old underwear with a grimace and slipping into my still damp t-shirt. Then, after standing there for a minute considering my options, I walked over to Rhys' side of the bed and gently shook his shoulder. He gave a groan of protest.
“Am I meeting you back here in the room?” I asked, not certain whether he could even hear me or was conscious enough to process my question. For a moment, I felt stupid, thinking I was talking to a sleeping person, but then he moved again, raising his arm and groping for something on the nightstand. He had a wide assortment of things lying on there, his phone, cigarettes, keys, glasses, contacts case and several others, but after a moment, his hand closed with certainty around the hotel room keys, and he held them out to me, face still firmly buried in his pillow.
“Thanks,” I said as I took them, but he didn’t react.
I left the room quietly and made my way down the hallway, making sure to remember the room number. Six-fifteen. I found the elevator we’d come up on without much trouble and made my way down, stopping at the reception in order to ask how to get back to Eagles Ballroom. I might have been able to figure out the way myself fairly easily, but it was already five minutes past nine, and I didn’t want to be late to meet Zach. I prayed he would be there. If not, I’d have to borrow some random bystander’s phone and harass the guy.
But phone harassment didn’t turn out to be necessary. He was there, leaning against the handrail, carrying my backpack over one shoulder and looking utterly peeved.
“What the fuck happened?” were the first words out of his mouth when he spotted me, and I realized that I did owe him an apology. I’d had him worried the night before, vanishing without so much as a warning. It hadn’t been cool, really.
“I’m sorry,” I said therefore, sincerely. “I should have called, and I never got around to it.”
“Yeah, you should have.” He was still sounding pissy. “You just fucking vanished, and I looked everywhere for you, and Simon felt really guilty and thought someone kidnapped you. He fucking freaked, it wasn’t cool at all.”
“Tell him I’m so
rry, please?” My heart sank. I hadn’t meant to upset the two of them, hadn’t honestly thought they’d worry so much.
“Well, so where did you go?” He was still expecting an explanation. I couldn’t blame him for that either.
“I sort of, um…” I tried to find the most diplomatic way of telling him what had happened. “Met the guys from Collision In Reverse. Hung out with them.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Seriously? Damn.”
“Yeah. They walked by just after you left and Simon went to piss.” I closed my eyes, wanting to rip off the band-aid as fast as possible. “And then I sort of kind of had sex with one of them.”
Zach was staring down at me with a completely blank expression. “You’re not fucking serious,” he said, and I just looked at him. “That’s fucking funny.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, amusing myself by considering how funny it really had been, in all its bizarre awkwardness.
Zach set my bag on the stairs, frowning at me. “So now what? Why’d I have to come here so fucking early?”
I reached for the strap on the bag and slung it over my own shoulder.
“They asked me to come along for a couple of days,” I explained evasively.
Zach took a moment to get it. “Who did?” He frowned, then his eyes widened. “On the bus?”
I nodded, trying not to smile like an idiot.
“Damn,” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets and shaking his head with a slight smile on his face. “You sucked someone’s cock, didn’t you?”
Grinning, I nodded. Zach knew well enough that I had skills in that direction.
He laughed again. “Oh, man. That’s crazy.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, and promptly thought of a way to make it up to him. “Hey, if you’ve got a demo with you I’ll try to get them to listen to it. Or hand it to someone important, or whatever.”
He dug in his pocket and promptly pulled out Arcana’s self-produced CD, labeled with black marker, in a paper sleeve. I took the disk and tucked it into my bag.
“Do me a favor though?” I asked, and he raised an eyebrow.
“Car keys are still in your kitchen drawer, and my house keys are on there. Need you to feed my cats until I’m back.”
“Sure,” he said, nodding once, and I knew he’d do it. Zach was fond of my cats.
“And I’ve got my phone, so call if you need to,” I said, pointing at the bag.
Once more he nodded, still smiling at me as though he couldn’t quite believe the sort of nonsense I was getting up to. To be fair, neither could I.
“Alright,” I said, shifting the weight of the bag on my back. “Wish me luck, and I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Good luck, Blue,” he said dutifully, then held out his arms for a spontaneous hug, which I accepted.
“Take care of yourself, right?” He patted my back. “If you get into trouble, call me or whatever.”
“I will,” I said, waved at him and then turned to walk back down the steps. Suddenly, the general area of my stomach was bubbling with nervousness.
Holy shit, this was actually happening.
+++
I found my way back to Rhys’ room without incident. On the way, I tried to take mental inventory of what I had stuffed in my backpack the night before, and what I might have to buy somewhere along the way.
I had shampoo and condoms and my toothbrush. No lube though, which was annoying. I had extra clothes, and I thanked heaven right now for the fact that I was indecisive and therefore had ended up packing way too many shirts. I even had another pair of shoes. My billfold was present and accounted for.
It was a start, and for a few days I might be able to manage with only this stuff, but I’d probably have to go shopping at some point. Luckily, I still had most of my Christmas money stuffed into my billfold, which would hopefully last me for a little while. I had been plotting what to spend it on until now – and been considering aforementioned smartphone – and for the second time in as many minutes, my indecisiveness proved to be enormously helpful.
All in all, it could have been worse.
Rhys appeared to be sleeping when I entered the room, but as I placed my bag on the floor, trying to be quiet, he raised his head.
“Here’s your keys back,” I said, placing them on his nightstand, hoping he’d be able to remember who the fuck I even was.
“Thanks,” he said, and put his head down again.
“Do you mind if I take a shower?” I asked, trying to be polite. I guessed the movement I saw beneath the blanket was him shaking his head, and headed for the bathroom.
The hot water finally managed to make me feel human again. I took a little too much time enjoying the shower, towel-drying myself hastily and trying not to make a mess in the bathroom. Rhys probably wouldn’t be happy if I did. Trying to be as pleasant and low-maintenance as possible seemed a good goal if I wanted him to keep me around for a little bit. I did make sure to shave carefully even though I never grew all that much hair, and generally tried to look presentable. That, as well, seemed a good idea if I wanted him to keep me around.
When I returned to the bedroom, towel wrapped around me, Rhys was slightly more awake than he had been before. I saw him move beneath the blankets, as though struggling to shake off the remnants of sleep. Finally, as I sorted through my fresh clothes and tried to decide whether to wear the baggy t-shirt I’d brought or the tight one, he threw the blankets back and sat up on the edge of the bed.
I watched his continued struggle to fully wake. He ran one hand through his hair, then across his face, looking utterly exhausted. His demeanor made me wonder briefly whether there was anything I could do to make him feel better.
“Need anything?” I dared ask.
He shook his head, lowering his hands to grasp the edge of the mattress. For a moment he simply sat there, as though gathering himself, before standing up and wordlessly heading into the bathroom.
While he showered, I dressed myself in jeans and a t-shirt. I’d decided on a simple one, a Metallica shirt that was pretty tight on me. Afterwards, I sat on the bed and waited, my heart beginning to beat wildly. I knew I wouldn’t quite believe what was happening until I was actually on the bus, driving away, so for now, I was simply trying to keep my emotions under control. Still, my hands were shaking.
For lack of anything better to do, I sat there and waited. Rhys didn’t shower for long, and soon he was back in the room proper, pulling clothes out of the black duffel bag by the bed, putting on jeans and a t-shirt and running his hands through his hair repeatedly as though this would get it to lay right. Eventually, he looked at me, for the first time that morning.
“Are you ready to go?” he wanted to know.
“Sure,” I replied, nodding for further emphasis. He nodded as well, zipped the bag shut and then shoved everything remaining on the nightstand into the pockets of his pants.
“You got all you need?” he asked, as though making conversation.
I nodded again. “I’ll probably have to buy a couple of things along the way,” I told him, because informing him of that was better than saying nothing at all. Things had gotten slightly awkward again pretty quickly.
Then he simply looked at me, and I stood and grabbed my bag, and together we left the hotel room, with me pulling the door shut and following him down the hallway, back to the elevator. I didn’t feel like it was my place to say anything as we waited. He appeared to be enjoying the silence well enough. On top of that, I was too timid to say anything, anyway.
Still silent, I followed him through the lobby, where he dropped off his keys, through the front doors and across the street. The bus was still waiting there. The weather outside was dreary, and I felt the drizzle of rain on my bare forearms. I wished I’d remembered to tell Zach to grab the coat from my car.
The bus, which I could now see was a grey and clunky-looking vehicle, was not very densely populated just yet. Some guy that I was pretty sure was the driver was busy wiping down the fur
niture with a dry cloth, and a long-haired crew member sat near the door, on the table where Angus, Oz and I had chatted the night before, listening to a banged-up iPod and nodding his head rhythmically.
Rhys gave me a bit of a tour as we walked.
“This is the downstairs lounge, crew mostly hangs out here,” he was explaining as we passed the driver. “There’s a fridge over there, you can put stuff in it if you want, there might not be space though. Cupboards, kitchenette, that’s the coffeemaker, coffee’s up above in the corner, there’s a closet over here…” He just kept pointing as he walked, and I tried my best to remember it all. We made our way through the downstairs area, then climbed carpeted stairs up to where the bunks were.
“You can put your bag here,” Rhys pointed, and I obliged. Compared to every other bag I spotted above the bunks, mine was tiny. When Rhys attempted to fit his own into the small space, he had to work quite a bit to make it happen.
I stood and watched, feeling a little lost and wondering whether that feeling would go away with time. Rhys wasn’t going out of his way to make me feel welcome, but after the way last night had gone, that wasn’t exactly a surprise. I wished I had a way to recapture the short time during which I’d actually felt comfortable with him, when we had laughed about the knocks on the wall together.
“So now it’s just waiting for people to show up,” Rhys told me when he finally stepped back, the bag staying put. “You can hang out wherever.”
That didn’t sound like he was planning on staying around me, which was probably good, because I was already afraid to be boring him. Still, the prospect of sitting around until the bus filled with people I didn’t know was a little daunting.
“What are you gonna be doing?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
“Probably gonna play guitar or something,” he replied.
Ah. That wasn’t unexpected, exactly. He did not sound like he desired company.
“Have fun,” I told him casually, smiling to hide my nervousness.
“I will,” he said simply, and then walked off in the opposite direction of where we had originally come from.
That left me standing there, my insides suddenly churning, wondering what to do now. I hadn’t really been able to bring anything to keep myself occupied. I certainly wanted to leave Rhys his space, not act as though I was unable to function away from him. I couldn’t even take a nap, seeing as how Rhys had never told me whether there was an empty bunk I could use, or whether I was supposed to use his, or where he even slept in the first place. Looking around and not finding anything interesting to do in the bunk area, I finally headed back down the stairs.
Collision Course Page 4