Addie was thoughtful as she digested his words, and then, she spoke warily, as if feeling her way through the sentence. “That’s exactly how I feel about my home.” Her smile was tinged with sadness.
“I take it you don’t live in Holborn, as you claimed?”
“No,” she didn’t rise to the bait and defend herself, as he’d expected. “I live in a small village on the outskirts of London.” She was looking straight at him, but her eyes had assumed a faraway look. “It’s a big old, Tudor place and my brother and I used to play hide and seek in the garden all day long. No matter what the weather, we were always outside. Though the attic was for days when mum absolutely forbade us from venturing outdoors – which she did from time to time.” She cleared her throat, and Guy saw that her eyes were suspiciously moist.
Memories, nostalgia, these were funny things, capable of inspiring emotional eddies at the strangest times. “I feel just as you do. I see ghosts of our childhood everywhere. My brother and me. Our house is … it means everything to me.” She blinked again, and then, abruptly changed the subject. “Your turn.”
Her sentence surprised him, and it took him several moments to comprehend what she meant. “To ask a question,” she prompted, the words a little uneven.
“Have you been with anyone since me?”
He hadn’t expected to ask that; he hadn’t even known, until he heard the words come from his mouth, that he cared. But suddenly, his whole body was alert, his spine straight, his everything paused, waiting for her to speak. Would he believe her anyway?
“No.” She swallowed. “Have you?”
Guy’s chest was heavy, his eyes gave nothing away. “You need to ask?”
“No,” she swept her eyes shut. “I just wanted to show you how it feels to be asked something so invasive.”
“I see.” He frowned. “You don’t think I have a right to be curious?”
“Why? When you’ve made it abundantly clear you don’t want me?”
He leaned forward and beneath the table, he placed his hand on her knee, his eyes holding hers. “Does it seem like I don’t want you?”
She spun her head, her lips parted as breath pushed from her. “I… you’ve said it yourself,” she said eventually. “In two days this arrangement will be over and you’ll be glad for that.”
He regarded her thoughtfully for a moment. “I have another… proposition for you. A new arrangement; one that I think you will like.”
12
I have another… proposition for you. A new arrangement, one that I think you will like.
HIS WORDS, SO CALMLY delivered, had chased themselves around Addie’s head all night, stirring her to a fever pitch. She was both angry and dismayed, as their conversation ran around and around her memory, prodding her from new, more painful angles with each reflection.
Conversation?
Try ambush!
She had never been more offended in all her life.
Nor more tempted.
Become my mistress, and I will make sure you never have another worry in your life. Not just for the time we are together, but for all time.
It wasn’t the idea of financial security that had filled her up with little bubbles of anticipation. It had been the idea of more Guy. More beyond this island trip. Of having longer to convince him. To win him over.
But she never would.
If she accepted his offer, if she let him pay her to be in his bed – which was essentially what he would be doing – then he would never be able to look beyond it.
And he probably couldn’t, even now. They were already trapped in a disaster of their own creation.
But at least now Addie knew the truth. She loved him, and she was here because of that.
We will live in Madrid, I will make sure you have everything you could ever want. I will buy you an apartment of your own. Clothes. Spending money. Believe me, you have never known generosity like what I can offer.
Indignation ripped through her anew as she remembered that last little salvo, intended to be reassuring, which had in fact cemented her hatred. Not for him, but for the way he viewed her. He really thought he could buy her, body and soul.
Admittedly, he was willing to pay handsomely for the pleasure of her body, and she’d tried to take comfort from that, but it had offered none.
Her body?
Sex?
When she wanted his heart and mind? When she wanted it to be like it was in London? How could she live with him once more, knowing that they were forever limited? How could she live with him, waiting for his attention to stray, for his interest to wane, for his sense that she was worth such a heavy price to diminish and for her to be cast aside? Albeit with a nice little stipend…
Sleep on it. Tomorrow is the party. You can tell me then.
He’d been so confident, despite his suggestion that she ruminate on the idea. He had seemed to have little doubt that she would accept.
And, in a part of her mind, she knew that to be the case. She was crazy to turn this down. She was crazy to say ‘no’, knowing that it would probably be the death knell to any future with Guy.
But she had to.
She had to tell him she loved him. That she couldn’t accept a relationship with him in which he would hold all the cards; she couldn’t accept a relationship with him that was so completely unequal.
With a sense of the axe dropping to her neck, she pulled the door to her bedroom open, her heart pounding as she went in search of him. The yacht, though, was deserted, save for a couple of crew who were restocking the fridge and changing linen.
Addie had thought she’d never get used to this – to the sense of seeing staff and not really noticing them, but it had taken only days in the end.
She made a point of smiling and greeting them as she continued searching for Guy.
“Excuse me,” she asked one of the crew, a young woman with bright blonde hair and a neat uniform. “Do you know where Guillem is?”
“Ah, yes, madam. He is at the house,” she pointed towards Santiago’s, her accent thick. “I can drive you?”
“No, no,” Addie shook her head, unsure now of what she should do. She needed time and space to clear her head, to get to grips with what she was doing. “I’ll walk.”
Yes! A walk would clear her head and help her think. At least, that was the hope.
“You’re sure? It is a hot day?”
“That’s fine,” she said, her smile confident now, as she firmed on the plan. It couldn’t be more than two miles, and she could work on her tan as she went.
Decision made, she went back to her room and changed into a bikini and a pair of denim cut-off shorts and a large yellow shirt that hung loose over one shoulder. She grabbed a wide-brimmed sunhat as she left the room – a bit of gold on her arms and legs was one thing, but she’d never liked the feeling of the sun on her face.
About a mile into the walk, she began to question the wisdom of her decision.
The sun was right overhead, the temperature high, and there was barely a breeze. The house still looked to be forever away, though she could see the clearing that would lead to the steps which would, eventually, take her to the garden at the front of the house. A garden she just hoped had a way of accessing the deck – she’d never approached it from this direction and couldn’t remember noticing any access points.
She stripped out of her shirt and shorts and ran towards the water, her smile widening as she felt the first, welcome burst of cool on her ankles. She was more miserable than she’d been in a long time, and yet the simple act of immersing herself in the ocean had a strangely jubilant effect. A sense of happiness she hadn’t expected flooded her and she lay on her back, staring up at the sky, wondering if she was overthinking everything.
She wasn’t, though.
As much as she might wish it were easy, as much as she wished she could simply accept Guy’s offer and take comfort from the fact she could have him any time she wanted him, she knew she could never, ever
agree to be his mistress. She just wasn’t built that way.
Her temperature beautifully cooled, she walked out of the ocean and scooped her clothes up, holding them from her fingertips rather than pulling them onto her wet body. She walked a little faster, as she got closer to the villa.
Despite the heat, Addie took the steps two at a time, her determination to get this conversation over fueling every step. She didn’t want him to believe, for even a moment, that she was considering his offer.
“You shouldn’t have come.”
She heard his words before she saw him, and Addie stopped, instantly, her body frozen still.
“But darling, Guy, how could I not? Your parents would have been so hurt.”
The woman’s voice was husky and sensual. Addie took another step, and another, slower now though, quietly, her breath held.
“You are a busy woman; your husband even more so. Make up an excuse and leave, Maria.”
Maria? Addie’s heart thumped hard against her ribs. This was the woman Santiago had mentioned? The woman from the scandal?
“Because it pains you to see me with him? Because you wish I weren’t married?”
Addie frowned. Guy had slept with a married woman? Or had she not been married then? Her accent was broad American, and Addie was glad for that, glad that whomever he was speaking with wasn’t a native Spanish speaker, so that they communicated in a language she could understand.
As Addie climbed higher, she finally saw them, on the edge of the garden, concealed from the view of the house by a jasmine vine that was scrambling over a lattice.
The woman, Maria, was older than Guy, though in incredible shape, and dressed like a twenty-something fashion model might be. She was tall and slim, with pert breasts and her dress had an animal print to it, with gems around the low-cut neckline. Her makeup was flawless, if a little heavy for Addie’s tastes.
“Because we agreed my family should never know about us,” he said the words softly.
“That’s why you’ve brought her? To make sure they don’t dig deeper?”
Addie stared straight ahead; the words slammed into her.
“You shouldn’t be here,” was all Guy responded with. “It complicates matters.”
Addie wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She supposed she could be grateful for the fact they were so engrossed in one another that neither had noticed her approach. Carefully, slowly, as quietly as she could, Addie took a backwards step, her fingertips running along the rock wall to her right for balance when her knees felt like they might give way.
Whatever thoughts had been on her mind, they evaporated. She moved quickly down the stairs, quicker than she’d walked up them, and when her feet connected with the sand, she walked to the shoreline, to the firm wetness, and she ran. She ran as though her life depended on it. She ran until her lungs felt they might burst and her skin was saturated with sweat. She ran until the yacht was in view and then, with a guttural sound of anger, she threw her clothes at the ground and ran once more, this time, into the ocean. She ran until her feet could no longer touch the bottom and then she swam, duck-diving beneath it, her tears being absorbed by the salty oceans depths.
“You said she left hours ago?”
“Yes, sir. To walk to the house,” the young woman answered, her look one of concern. “Did she not arrive?”
Guy frowned, not answering the staff member’s question. He stalked through the yacht, reaching for the phone in his office. He dialed the house extension and waited impatiently. His mother answered.
“Is Add- Ava there?”
“Ava? No. Why? Because everyone is looking forward to meeting her tonight, Guy.” A pause. “I hope there’s not a problem?”
You and me both, he thought, disconnecting the call, pacing through the cabin with a sense of disbelief. There was no way for her to have left the island. But where was she? If she wasn’t at the house, was it possible she’d had an accident while she was walking?
There were security cameras that patrolled the beaches, but with guests for the party arriving, the team had had their hands full. He doubted a single woman strolling along the sand would have attracted much attention.
With teeth that were clamped together, he strode towards the bridge of the yacht, intending to go in search of her. His eyes swept the sand on autopilot, and there, his eyes landed upon a familiar figure. Sitting in the shade cast by the trees, far along the beach, her knees curled to her chest, her face tilted away from him, looking towards the mainland.
Something rolled inside of him but he didn’t break his stride. He moved with determination, off the yacht and down the beach, the sand hot underfoot despite the fact it was early evening now.
“Ava,” he called, as he approached, urgent, needing her to turn her face to him, needing to see her.
She didn’t turn to face him, though. She kept her head tilted away, so that he had to crouch down in front of her to see her. “You’re sunburned.”
“Am I?” The words were barely a whisper.
He nodded, and when she still didn’t look at him, he reached for her chin, his thumb and forefinger lifting her to him.
“Who’s Maria?” The words were hollow, but at least she was looking at him.
Guy’s mind worked quickly. She’d been walking to the house. He and Maria had spoken outside – the only place they could get any privacy; or so he’d thought. So Addie had overheard. Everything?
“Someone I used to … date,” he said, the euphemism a crude descriptor for what they’d been.
“Was it serious?” Addie pushed, pressing her chin into the gap between her knees.
“It was a long time ago.”
“You didn’t know she was coming tonight?”
“It hadn’t occurred to me to check,” he said, as though it didn’t matter.
“Santiago told me about her. He seemed to think I would know who she was, but of course, I didn’t. He told me that you’d loved her though. That she’d broken your heart.”
Guy frowned. “He was exaggerating.”
“But you did love her?”
Guy expelled a sigh. “Maria is irrelevant. There is no sense talking about her. She’s gone.”
“She knew about me.” Addie looked at him and then looked away, pain in her features. “She seemed to think you were using me to fool everyone.”
“Do you think that is true?”
She didn’t answer. “Are you … are you still seeing her?”
He expelled a sigh. “That is nothing but Maria’s ego at play, believe me. She wishes that is why you are here.” He pressed a finger to her chin once more, tilting her face to his. “It has nothing to do with what I want from you, and I think you know that.” The words were hoarse.
She nodded slowly. “You want me to be your mistress.”
His eyes sparked with something like triumph. He felt it deep in his chest. “Si.”
Addie pulled away from him. Her eyes were hollow. “No.”
The word was incongruous; it was the opposite of what he’d been expecting. He looked at her for a moment, allowing the simple denial to find purchase in his mind, but it still made no sense. “No?”
“I don’t want to be your mistress,” she said simply. “Not for any price, nor any time.”
Guy wasn’t convinced. He knew very little about Adeline, except that she’d lied to him before, needing money, wanting it enough to do just about anything. The part of him that was softening to her, that wanted to comfort her, was easy enough to silence.
She had a right to an explanation though, and he saw no reason to hide the truth from her. “I met Maria when I was sixteen. She was – is – a very beautiful woman. Bewitching. It did not matter that she was thirty five to me. I didn’t notice.” His lips curled derisively. “I was, simply… blown away. Lost. I fell for her very much, very hard, without thought. My hormones left little room for thought.” Another derisive twist of his lips. “Ours was a mutual infatuation, all-consum
ing. I had no idea she was married to one of my parents’ closest friends. That she was married at all.”
“But she knew! She was thirty-five years old and you were still a boy!”
His smile was derisive. “Believe me, querida, at sixteen, I was a man. Or ready to become one.”
Addie was frozen, watching him, and Guy stood abruptly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked down the beach. “I swore, the day I discovered the truth, that I would never be in that position again. That I would never love a woman. That I would never leap before I looked.” When he shifted his gaze towards Addie now, it was with anger, once more, like the day in Madrid.
“Until you.” The words came from deep within him. “You made me forget that promise, and it was with you I most badly needed to remember it.”
“That’s what you meant,” she murmured softly. “When you said that you’d learned your lesson about women like me a long time ago? You meant that I remind you of her? That you see us as the same kind of woman?”
His nostrils flared with the force of his breathing. He didn’t answer, but the silence only increased Addie’s urgency. “I’m not Maria,” she said emphatically, pulling up to standing. “I didn’t lie to you because I wanted to. I wasn’t using you. I fell in love with you.”
Guy stared at her, not inviting her to continue, but Addie’s expression was rich with determination. She lifted her hands to his chest, her fingers splayed, his heart beating right into her tips, fueling her blood. She needed to tell him everything; yes, even about her mother. Even when she’d sworn she’d never reveal her mother’s secret.
“The night I met you…” She sucked in a breath. “It was the tenth anniversary of … of an awful time in my life. My dad and brother were killed in a car accident.” His head careened around, facing her.
At least he was listening. Why hadn’t she done this sooner?
Because it hurt.
A physical ache was pounding in her chest at recounting a story she hadn’t discussed with anyone, ever. “It was awful. It destroyed my family. You might think it would get easier, with each year that passes, but it doesn’t. It’s so much harder. I forget little things about them, things that were so elemental, and sometimes, I can’t even see my brother’s face.” A single tear rolled down her cheek.
Claiming his Secret Baby & Blackmailed by the Spaniard (Clare Connelly Pairs Book 4) Page 32