by Kimber White
He revved the engine and we took off down the hill. I folded my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek against his broad back. His skin flashed warm; his inner wolf kept him comfortable in the elements.
In just a few minutes, he had me at the foot of the trail leading back up my grandpa’s property. The house was still dark and quiet. I knew I could slip in as if nothing had happened. Except everything seemed to have happened. As I slid off the back of Luke’s snowmobile, I unbuttoned his jacket and handed it to him. The bitter cold cut into my skin, making me shiver. His fingers brushed against mine as he took the jacket from me, sending that now-familiar flare of heat through me. I saw it flash in his eyes as well.
“You really shouldn’t come back,” he said.
“I know.”
“I mean it. It’s better if you keep your distance from me, Tamryn.”
I tucked my hair behind my ears. A fierce wind kicked back up, whipping it around my face a second later. “Yeah. I keep hearing that. What if I don’t want to?”
I can’t believe I said it. Except, I was so sick and tired of being told what I should and shouldn’t do. Being with Luke felt exciting and right at the same time I knew it was probably wrong.
“Do you ever do what you’re told?”
I wrapped my arms across my chest trying to stave off the cold. Seeing me shiver, Luke put his hands on my shoulders, instantly warming me.
“Apparently, disobedience is in my DNA.”
Luke nodded as he ran his hands up and down my arms, driving the chill away. “Well, maybe next time at least wear a coat.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. For all of his dark danger, I was glad to hear Luke Tully could still crack a joke. It made me even bolder. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
“See ya around, Luke,” I said, reaching up to tousle his hair.
He smiled and for the first time, it reached his eyes. He revved the snowmobile’s engine and I stepped back. Before I could tell him goodbye, a light came on inside the house. My grandfather’s silhouette appeared in the doorway. I realized he’d been watching the whole time. My pulse quickened . . . all mine this time. Whatever odd connection I’d had with Luke had faded.
“Better go,” I whispered. Luke’s expression turned grave again as he looked back toward my grandfather then back at me. He shot me a quick wink then sped off back down the hill.
Then, I turned and faced the house and Grandpa’s waiting stare. I took a step toward the house, steeling myself for whatever version of him I might get. It was early. He hadn’t taken his medication yet. I could be in for a long day. When I reached the porch, I realized I had even bigger problems as two more figures appeared in the doorway.
Grandpa was pissed and he wasn’t alone.
Chapter Seven
I wished I’d kept Luke’s jacket. When my fingers closed around the doorknob, I longed for the protection it provided, not just against the cold. I was bolder with Luke. His presence gave me strength I hadn’t felt before. I took a breath and swung the door open. Ready or not, it was time to face the inquisition.
Grandpa stepped back. Staggered, more like. His eyes went wild and though he looked at me, I knew he saw something or someone else. An arm came around him, pulling him back into the kitchen. This left me standing alone and face to face with the accusing eyes of Beau Karrow.
“Tamryn,” he said, his voice coming out more like a bark that sent a shock of fear straight through me. I’d just come from the arms of a werewolf and somehow I sensed far more danger from the man standing in front of me. “What the hell are you doing out there?”
I opened my mouth to explain then closed it. I didn’t owe Beau any explanations. “What the hell are you doing in here?”
“It’s all right, Wyatt.” A voice rose from the kitchen. Beau’s father Gerard had my grandfather seated at the kitchen table. Gerard knelt before him holding out a glass of water.
I pushed my way past Beau and went to my grandpa’s side. I put a hand to his forehead. His skin was cool to the touch and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“It’s six o’clock in the morning, Tamryn.” Beau was at my side again. He gripped my upper arm and spun me around. “I asked you what the hell you were doing out there.”
“Nothing that’s any of your business. Either of you. This isn’t your house.”
Gerard Karrow rose to his full, impressive height. He was nearly as tall as Luke. He glowered at me through coal dark eyes, his mouth turned down in a menacing scowl. He pointed a finger at me then to the chair opposite my grandfather. “Sit down, Tamryn. You have some questions you need to answer.”
I folded my arms in front of me, aware again that I wore nothing but my thin nightgown. It had dried, but I still felt exposed. And pissed. What right did either of these two men have to come into my house and interrogate me? I took a step back and wished for an instant that I was tall enough to stand nose to nose to Gerard.
“Why don’t the both of you leave? I didn’t invite you here.”
Gerard’s eyes went wide. “Didn’t invite us? Do you have any idea why we’re here? Your grandfather called me. Hours ago. When I got here, the back door was wide open and I found him facedown beside his bed. We were about to gather a search party to go looking for you. Now, I told you to sit down!”
My heart dropped to my feet. I turned away from Gerard and knelt in front of my grandpa. He struggled to focus. Finally, he raised his hand and cupped my cheek. Though his eyes were clear now, I still knew he wasn’t seeing me for me.
“It won’t help if you take her, Jesse,” he whispered. “They’re going to know where to find her. Other people have tried and it never works, honey. The wolves always come. They’ll always know where to find her.”
My pulse quickened. Did he know about Luke? No. He was talking nonsense. He thought I was Jesse. So, this morning he saw my grandmother in my face. That was bad. Very bad. When he mistook me for my mother, it usually made him wistful and quiet. When he saw Grandma Jesse, he’d grow quickly agitated.
“Grandpa, it’s Tamryn. Grandma’s not here anymore.” For a moment, he kept the sweet smile on his face. Then, his eyes clouded over again and his hand on my face went from a gentle cupping to a vice-like grip closing around my jaw. I struggled to pull away, but his thumbs dug into my flesh hard enough to make my eyes water.
“I smell him on you! Wendigo!” Grandpa’s eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth. Then, he whispered a string of Odawa words I couldn’t follow.
Beau stepped forward and put a strong hand on Grandpa’s wrist, forcing him to let me go. I staggered backward, rubbing my jaw. He’d gripped me hard enough I knew I might bruise. My heart beat wildly in my chest. Never once had my grandfather ever laid on a hand on me like that. He rose behind Beau and pointed a crooked finger at me.
“You keep your hands off her. I can smell him all over you. She’s just a child. She’s not yours yet.”
He seemed to be talking to someone that flat out wasn’t there. It was more than him just seeing someone else in my face.
I got to my feet and moved to the other side of the room, putting the kitchen table between us. “Get out,” I said to Gerard and Beau. Whatever was going on with my grandfather, this was a family matter. I didn’t appreciate their judgment and scorn. They wanted to blame me, but I could see their presence agitating my grandfather as much as whatever fractured memory haunted his clouded mind.
“We came here to help,” Beau said. His expression softened but still held a patronizing tone. “You can’t blame us. Your grandfather needed you and you weren’t here. No one’s judging you for that. We understand how difficult it must be caring for him 24/7 like you have been. But, we’re a community here, Tamryn. Extended family. You should have called someone if you needed a break.”
“Jesse!” Grandpa gripped the chair back so tightly the legs rattled against the wood floor.
“He needs his medication,” I said, stepping around Beau and heading in
to the kitchen. I grabbed the key from the ceramic cookie jar beside the sink and unlocked the drawer beside it. I counted out Grandpa’s morning pills and poured him a glass of water. My heart still beat a mile a minute, but I’d be damned if I’d let Gerard or Beau see any signs of fear or weakness. I put the pills on the table in front of my grandpa and motioned for him to take his seat again.
“I’ll make your eggs,” I told him, trying to pretend we were alone, doing the best I could to turn this side show into what felt normal to him. “Now you take your pills. The news will be on in a few minutes, and I’ll get your slippers.”
Something about the tone of my voice, the promise of his familiar routine seemed to reach him. My grandfather’s eyes softened and he sank slowly into his chair. He shot a scowl at Gerard this time as he grabbed his pills and swallowed them, chasing it with a big gulp of water.
Once I had him more or less settled, I put a hand on Gerard’s elbow and pulled him toward the door. Mercifully, he followed. He shot a look toward Beau and he came too. Then, I had them out of Grandpa’s earshot at the front of the house in the foyer.
“Thanks for looking out for him. I’m sorry you got called so early. You’re right, it was irresponsible of me. And you’re right that I just needed a little air. I didn’t mean to be gone so long.”
Gerard’s eyes darkened, but a look from Beau and he straightened his back and gave me a nod. “I’ll go start the car,” he said to his son. Then Gerard left Beau and me alone in the hallway. I stiffened and crossed my arms in front of me as Beau put a hand out and touched my shoulder.
“I get it,” he said. “Or at least, now I do. Tonight. And the other day in the woods. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how stressful this was for you acting as Wyatt’s primary caregiver. You’ve spent half your life away from us, but I can see you’ve got plenty of proud Odawa blood flowing through you. None of us really like asking for help.”
I opened my mouth to cut him down again. Just like the other day, Beau couldn’t conceive of the idea that my rejection of him was real. Here he was, trying to justify it as the poor judgment of some helpless, clueless girl. I bit my lip against the words bubbling up inside me. Regardless of any of the rest of it, Beau and Gerard had to come to my grandpa’s aid this time. If they hadn’t, if Grandpa had ventured out into the woods after me or tried to drive somewhere by himself, he really might have gotten hurt.
“Thank you. And I meant what I said to your father. I’ll be more careful next time.” Beau dropped his shoulders and gave me a thousand-watt smile. The one he likely used to melt half the panties in Oodena.
“You’ve been shouldering a heavy burden all alone, Tamryn. I hadn’t realized how bad off old Wyatt had gotten. It’s like he’s trapped inside some fifty-year-old time capsule.”
Again, I had to bite my tongue past the urge to point out he wasn’t the only one. Beau most of all seemed stuck in the past too.
“I meant what I said. All you have to do is reach out. You’ve been away a long time. We’re all still trying to get to know you again.” Beau lifted his hand and smoothed the hair away from my face. I couldn’t help it. I stiffened and took a step back. He drew his brows together and gave me a tight-lipped smile.
“What happened to you out in the real world, Tamryn? What did they do to you to make you so afraid of the people you need?”
Of all the things Beau could have said, I wasn’t expecting that. For that small sliver of time, he seemed able to see right into my soul. I fought back stinging tears. The people I need. Not Beau. I couldn’t ever see myself needing him. Not him. With his hard eyes and conceit. To him, I was something to control. Something to collect.
But, he’d hit upon edges of the longing I felt. I wanted to belong here. I wanted Oodena to feel like home the way it had when I was very little. Since I’d left, I’d been bounced from home to home. Staying with distant cousins or friends of my father who were always pleasant to me, always providing me with food and shelter and sending me to school. But, they didn’t love me. They didn’t hang my schoolwork on the refrigerator or call me sweetheart or ground me if I came home past curfew. Even though I never did.
Blinking back the hot tears I didn’t want Beau to see, I took a step back and pointed toward the door. “Your father’s waiting. I have things under control here.”
Beau held his hand on the door but hesitated before he left. “Just think about what I said, Tamryn. You need to come down from the hill more often. Wyatt’s your past, but Oodena can be your future. Isn’t that why you’re here?”
“Thank you,” I said again, keeping my eyes fixed on a point just above Beau’s head.
“You know, Founder’s Day is next weekend. I don’t know if Wyatt will be up for it, but you need to join us. Be part of Oodena again. Let me take you.”
“I, uh. What?”
Beau smiled at me. This time, it seemed more genuine. “Founder’s Day. The winter festival. It’s a bigger deal than it used to be before you left for Florida. The whole town participates. It’s hokey, but it brings everyone together and brightens things up in the middle of these long winters. Dad and I will bring you and Wyatt. Between the three of us, we can manage him. can’t we? We always see a little of the sparkle come back into his eyes when he tells stories around the campfire to some of the kids. It’s kind of a big draw.”
My grandpa? Sitting around a fire telling stories? The shock of that image made me lose my bearings for a second. Whatever look I gave Beau he mistook for a nod and acquiescence. Before I could say anything more, he beamed at me, leaned forward and gave me a peck on the cheek.
“Wonderful. I promise I’ll show you the time of your life, Tamryn.”
Then, he turned and closed the door behind him.
“Great,” I muttered. “Captain Conceit thinks I just agreed to go out with him. Could this day get any stranger?”
No sooner had I said it before Grandpa came up behind me. I had no idea how long he’d been standing there or how much he’d heard or understood. But, he put his arms on my shoulders and turned me to face him. He put a gentle kiss on my forehead and smiled down at me.
“You’ve made a good choice,” he said. “Beau’s not perfect, but he’ll look out for you, Tamryn.”
Terrific. He’d heard everything and he was on Beau’s side.
“Grandpa, I’m not . . . Beau isn’t . . .” I gave up. Grandpa’s eyes were clearer than they’d been in weeks. He saw me. Me. As much as I disagreed with his opinion, I didn’t want to jinx the moment.
He put his arms around me and walked with me back toward the kitchen. “I love you, Buckets,” he said. “Remember that when I forget to say it.”
For the second time in the space of ten minutes, I found myself fighting back tears. My heart swelled with an emotion that took my breath away. Buckets. I’d forgotten that too. When I was little he used to say, “I love you buckets.” I misunderstood and thought he was calling me Buckets. The nickname stuck.
“I love you too, Grandpa.”
“Just be careful, Tamryn. Promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I will. I am.”
When we reached the end of the hallway, my grandpa stepped around me. He fixed those clear, dark eyes on me and crouched down so we were nose to nose. “I mean it. That wolf. He’ll kill you.”
Chapter Eight
Later that day, another winter storm blew in, knocking out the power lines and closing down large stretches of I-31. As much as Beau wanted me to come down from the hill more often, there was no chance of that now. We were closed off and snowed in for the next few days at least. I was thankful we had fuel for the generators and a stockpile of Grandpa’s medication. We could hold up here for at least two weeks if that’s what it took. I’d have to deal with our crappy internet connection, but in case of a real emergency, at least I knew I could call for help. The trouble was, who knew how long help would take getting there? But, for now, Grandpa seemed content. If anything, the wintery wonderland outside
his bedroom window kept him calmer.
I never asked Grandpa what he meant about the wolf. The memory of that morning faded from his mind by our second snowbound day, and he was back to thinking I was my mother most of the time. For my part, I was going slightly stir crazy. As much as I’d told Beau I wanted him to leave me alone, now that I was getting my wish, it came with raging cabin fever. The snow had drifted so high I couldn’t even get the four-wheeler out.
On the third day, with no letup in the weather, I’d had about all I could take. Right after his mid-morning snack, Grandpa fell into a deep sleep on the recliner in the den. If he kept to his pattern, he’d be out for two or three hours.
I decided I’d at least try to shovel out a path for the ATV in case I needed to find my way down the hill in a crisis. I stuffed myself into my down parka and borrowed Grandpa’s snow boots. My feet disappeared inside them, but his were much sturdier than mine with cleats on the bottom to help me through the layer of ice beneath the snow.
Under all my layers, I’d already worked up a sweat by the time I trudged out to the ATV. Even under the car port Grandpa had built, the thing was buried under about four feet of snow. I started to dig. After ten minutes of that, I couldn’t feel my face anymore. Stinging snow blew up and covered my cheeks. But, I made slow and steady progress. That is until the wind kicked up again. No sooner had I got one side of the trail dug out, the snow drifted again and filled in the other side. All I had to show for my efforts were wind burned cheeks and sweat.
I was just about to give up and head inside when my heart tripped in my chest and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I froze and peeled back the hood of my jacket. Standing in the clearing beyond a row of Grandpa’s tall pines was Luke’s wolf. Even if I hadn’t sensed his presence in the beating of my heart, those emerald eyes cut through the snow-swept landscape and seemed to warm me from the inside out.
I dropped my shovel and started to walk toward him. Wind tufted the hair on his back. He stood proud and strong, his stark silhouette against the wintry scene. I chanced a look behind me. Through the bay window, I could just make out Grandpa’s slippers pointing toward the ceiling on the footrest of his chair. He was still sound asleep. I turned back toward Luke, my heart . . . his heart pounding.