by Ava Walsh
Seeing her when I return to Connecticut is going to be awkward, but I’m actually looking forward to seeing her again. She’s the only woman I have ever felt comfortable enough to be myself around. Perhaps it’s because I’ve known her since she was a kid. Seeing Lindsay will be the only good thing about going back to the small town that I hate. The question is, will she be happy to see me?
Chapter Four
Lindsay
My dress sticks to my damp skin, making me even more irritated. The July humidity, along with my nerves, is driving me up the wall. I’m pretty sure my jittery nerves are contributing more to my sweating than the weather, though. I don’t know why I agreed to meet up with Amanda and her fiancé today. Although there’s no way I could have avoided it for long. This is a small town, after all. God, what will she think of me? She’s some successful finance something or another, and she’s marrying a big shot lawyer. They will both see me as a complete loser. The temptation to swing my car around and head back to my crappy apartment looms in my mind. I’m sure I can find some excuse to explain my absence.
“No, Amanda will probably ask around until she finds out where I live.” And that is even worse than meeting up at her parents’ house. At least this way Amanda won’t see the dump that I live in. I let out a sigh of resignation and keep driving until I turn onto the familiar street. I practically grew up on this street, spending more time at Amanda’s house than I did at my own. I used to love staying at Amanda’s. Her parents made more money than mine did and lived in a more upscale part of town. I loved the swimming pool, and seeing her big brother, of course.
Panic wells up inside me. Holy crap. Will Ethan be there today? I didn’t ask Amanda when he would be flying in: if he is. More than likely he would, because football season hadn’t started yet, so he had more time on his hands. “Damn it.” Now I really want to kick my car into reverse. I’m already in front of the house, though, so I might as well go through with it. As I reluctantly get out of the car, I hope Amanda isn’t watching from the window. My car looks more like a beat up piece of metal than an actual vehicle.
“Okay, I can totally do this.” All I have to do is be vague, and no one needs to know what a failure I turned out to be. Then it hit me. If Amanda’s parents are back, they will have told her that I have a child and that I still work at the diner. They didn’t spend much time here after Amanda went off to college in New York, but they know enough about my pathetic life. I take a deep breath and continue up the stone walkway. The front door flies open before I reach the top step and Amanda comes running toward me, as bright as the sunshine in her yellow summer dress.
“Lindsay!” She flies into my arms, and I instinctively wrap them around her. The warm embrace leaves me feeling both happy and guilty. To think that I have treated my best friend so badly, and still receive such a greeting.
“Hi, Amanda. I’m so glad to see you.” It’s the truth. All my fears aside, I have missed her dearly. If only I were able to lean on her after finding out that I was pregnant, I wouldn’t have been so stressed. But I couldn’t have told her I was pregnant with her brother’s child. She would have hated me. She probably still will, if she finds out.
Amanda steps back to examine me from head to toe. “Oh, Lindsay, you’re still as gorgeous as ever.”
“I am? You look amazing, too.” She’s a head shorter than I am, with green eyes. I can’t help but think how similar my daughter’s eyes are. “Wow, you’re very blond now.” I let out a laugh.
She giggles and flips her short hair. “I am. You like?”
“I do.”
Amanda suddenly gets serious. “Did I do something, Lindsay? We haven’t stayed close like I thought we would. I know we are in different states, but I always assumed we would chat every day. I’ve wracked my brain trying to recall if I said or did something to offend you. I know I’ve always been ditzy, so maybe I said something-”
“Amanda, stop.” I’m totally shocked by the word spilling from her lips. Now I feel even more guilty. For three years she thought I was avoiding her because of something she did. Am I the worst friend in history or what? “You’re not to be blamed for anything. In all honesty, it had everything to do with me. Didn’t your parents tell you?”
She seems confused. “Tell me what?”
I blink. So Mr. and Mrs. Taylor haven’t said anything. I stayed away from them, as well, but they must have heard about it in a small town like this. “Can we go inside and talk?”
“Sure.” Amanda leads me inside, sending me confused glances now and then. “I’ll introduce you to Nathan and then we’ll go up to my old bedroom. Remember how much fun we used to have in there during our slumber parties?”
I smile. “Yeah, I do.”
“Nathan, where are you, hon?” Amanda calls. A man of average height emerges from the kitchen. His blond hair is parted and combed over to the left. He’s dressed in a polo shirt and khaki shorts, with a sweater tied by the sleeves around his shoulders. My brows lift slightly. It seems Nathan thinks he’s on a golf course. And who wears a sweater over their shoulders in summer? Swallowing a laugh, I approach Nathan with outstretched hands as Amanda makes introductions.
“Nathan, this is Lindsay Williams, my very best friend. Lindsay, meet the love of my life, Nathan Wilby.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Lindsay. I’ve heard so much about you. Amanda carries on about you all the time.”
“I see. Nice to meet you too, Nathan.” We shake hands briefly. Is it just me or does Nathan seem a bit pretentious? Amanda did say he’s some rich, big shot lawyer, so being pompous must come with the territory.
“Okay, darling, go back and enjoy your drink. Lindsay and I need some time alone.”
“Ah, you women do love to chat,” Nathan says. “Very well, run along and have fun, you two.”
You women? Run along? I throw Nathan a strange look, which I hope is subtle. What are we, twelve? Where did Amanda find this guy? And why the heck is she marrying him?
As I settle on Amanda’s bed, I eye her from beneath my lashes. “So, um, is your brother coming?”
Amanda dives onto the bed, reminding me that she’s just as young as I am. She looks older in appearance now. “Of course he is. Ethan’s joining us in a few weeks. You know I had to come way early to get everything in order.”
Oh, God, Ethan is coming. I can’t let my panic show. Clearing my throat, I move the topic away from Ethan. “I can’t believe you’re planning your wedding in just a month.’
She shrugs. “I have to. Nathan is on vacation from work, and I wanted to come back home to have my wedding in the church where my parents got married. I had to beg Nathan to have it here.”
“Oh. Are you sure about Nathan? Sure he’s the one you want to spend your life with? You’re only twenty-one.” I want to say more, express my concerns about Nathan, but decide not to. I’m not sure how Amanda will take it.
“Of course I’m sure.” I see uncertainty flicker in her eyes, but she quickly hides it. “He’s great. Enough about me. You wanted to tell me something downstairs.”
“Right.” I might as well spill. I don’t have to tell her everything.
“Come on. Talk to me, Lindsay. We haven’t seen each other for years, and we haven’t had a decent conversation since I left.”
“I admit that I avoided your calls most of the time.” Hurt flashes in Amanda’s eyes and I rush to explain. “It wasn’t because you did anything. I was just so ashamed. I still am.”
“Of what, Lindsay?”
“The way my life turned out. You know I didn’t get to go to art school like I wanted.”
“Yes. I was so sorry to hear. You’re so gifted. A damn genius with a paintbrush, pencil and anything you touch. I always told you you would make millions with your art someday.”
My head dips. I can no longer look at her. “That’s just it, Amanda. I turned out to be a complete failure. I got pregnant and never made it to college, never fulfilled my dreams, never left this
small town. Everyone I graduated with has moved on to bigger and better things. I still work in the diner that I used to work in during the summer when I was fifteen, for Christ’s sake.”
Amanda gapes at me, her mouth hanging open. “Linds, I can’t believe you would be ashamed to talk to me, your best friend since freaking pre-school. But I’m stuck at the part about you having a baby. When did that happen?”
“I-I found out after you left for New York, right before I was to leave for art school.” I can still remember my shock and dismay, and my parent’s disappointment. The look in my father’s eyes still haunts me to this day. “Daddy was so upset. He died with a broken heart,” I whisper.
“Oh, Lindsay, I’m so sorry. I didn’t make it to his funeral.”
I shake my head. “I’m to be blamed for that. I didn’t even tell you when it happened.” I sent a measly text after the funeral. “I know you would have come if you knew.”
We remain silent for a while until Amanda says, “Wow, you have a baby. Who is the father? Are you two together? I’ve missed out on so much in your life.”
My heart stops. “Er, well… he-he’s not around. We don’t talk.” At least that was the truth. “I don’t want to talk about him, Amanda.”
She nods. “Um, alright. I can’t wait to meet your baby!”
“Yeah.” Oh no. I can’t let Amanda see Casey. She’ll figure out that she’s her niece for sure. I’m going to have to keep Casey away from Amanda and Ethan until they leave town. How am I going to pull that off? I suppose I can leave Casey with my mother anytime I have to meet up with Amanda.
Amanda pulls me into a hug, taking me by surprise. “I wish you had told me all of this years ago, Lindsay. You have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I think you’re incredibly strong. You made a big sacrifice to keep your baby. I don’t care what you do for a living. You’re still you. And to hell with what anyone in this town or any of our old friends thinks.”
I swallow hard to keep from bursting into tears. “Thank you, Amanda. Now that I look at it, I was incredibly stupid and immature to treat you the way I did because of my bruised ego.”
“How about we just forget that and start fresh?”
I let out a relieved sigh. “I’d like that very much.”
“Good, because you’re going to be my maid of honor.”
My eyes widen. “I am?”
“Hell yes, woman. You were always going to be. I was planning to come here, force you to tell me why you wouldn’t talk to me and then force you into the dress.”
I burst into a fit of giggles. Amanda hasn’t changed one bit. I’m glad. “I love you, Amanda, I really do. Thank you for bestowing me such an honor. I will wear the maid of honor dress with pride, no matter how ugly it is.”
“Hey, have you forgotten that I have impeccable taste? There will be no ugly dresses at my wedding.”
We both laugh. Things with Amanda have gone much better that I imagined. She doesn’t hate me, and she doesn’t think any less of me. I don’t bother to ask her who else will be a part of her wedding or how many old friends will be coming to town. I don’t care anymore. After spilling my guts to Amanda, I could care less what anyone else thinks about my less than perfect life. Well, maybe there is one person, but I have a few more weeks before he gets here.
Chapter Five
Ethan
“Home, sweet home.” I sit in my rented convertible and stare at the house I grew up in, then look around the neighborhood. Everything is the same, nothing is taken away, nothing new. That’s the problem I’ve always had with this place: no excitement. I hop out of the car and saunter up to the front door. Glancing at my watch, my shoulders sag. There’s supposed to be some kind of get together going on inside at the moment. Amanda mentioned something about it. They just had to have it on the day I arrive.
I was hoping for a little ‘me time’ before having to interact with family, friends, and strangers. I check the door to find it open. Before going in, I pause. Is Lindsay inside? The possibility gives me a little pep in my step. Loud chatter and laughter fills my ears when I push the door open and step inside. The foyer is empty. Everyone must be in the living room. I turn the corner and am instantly assaulted by greetings.
“The man is here!” a man shouts, and everyone who hadn’t already seen me turns around.
“Hello, everyone,” I greet with a wave.
I spot my mother, who is moving toward me, joined by my father. I hug them and we chat briefly. We see each other often, as I make it my duty to visit them wherever in the world they are. I leave them to the guests and continue my journey through the crowd.
“Oh my God, it’s Amanda’s brother. The famous one,” I hear a female voice say. I cock an eyebrow. The famous one? I’m Amanda’s only brother. Keeping my smile plastered on, I shake hands and nod, making my way through the crowd.
“Hey there, superstar.” I turn, this time with a genuine smile.
“Baby sister,” My tone drips with affection. “Come here, short stuff.” I pull her into an embrace, lifting her off the floor. It’s been about a year since I’ve seen her. I usually fly her out to some of my games, and I’ve visited her in New York a couple of times.
She giggles. “Put me down, you’ll wrinkle my dress,” she says, but tightens her hold on me. “I’ve missed you, you big lug.”
“I should have come in through the back,” I say apologetically, finally putting her down.
“What, you think you can steal my thunder with your star athlete status? Please. I’m much better looking than you are, so I’m still the center of attention.”
Thank God she isn’t upset over the commotion I caused. When I smile and ruffle her hair playfully, she bats at my hands. “Hey, you’re messing up my hair,” she complains. And that’s when I realize.
“Holy shit, you’re platinum blond,” I muse.
“Yeah well, people like it. Lindsay loves it.”
My heart flutters ever so slightly. “Does she? Is she here?”
“No, she couldn’t make it to my little pre-wedding party. She’s at the diner.”
My brows crease. Why would Lindsay be at the diner during her best friend’s party? Before I can ask, a man joins us. He stops at Amanda’s side, grinning up at me. “As I live and breathe, it’s Ethan Taylor. I’m a huge fan.”
“Ethan, this is Nathan,” Amanda introduces excitedly.
This is the fiancé? I can’t help but notice how preppy he is. I had no idea this was Amanda’s type. “Ah, finally we meet, Nathan.” I extend a hand. “A real pleasure.” When he places his hand in mine, I give it an extra squeeze and size him up. I already don’t like him based on his appearance and his weak handshake. Amanda sends me a look of warning, silently telling me to behave. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I release Nathan’s hand.
He shakes it slightly. “Whoa, quite a grip there,” he says, with a small laugh. “You’re even bigger in person. The Cowboys are my favorite team. I couldn’t believe it when Amanda told me you were her brother. Who would have thought the star quarterback for my favorite team would become my brother-in-law. I told all my lawyer friends. That’s what I do, by the way.” He sniffs proudly. “I’m one of the best in New York. If you ever land in any trouble with the ladies, you know who to call. I think we’re going to be great friends, Ethan.”
Kill me now. “Yeah, sure. Can I borrow my sister for a few minutes? We need to catch up.” I grasp Amanda’s arm and lead her away, not waiting for Nathan’s answer. My annoyance increases when I have to stop several times to chat with adoring fans. No one has even asked me how I’m doing; it’s all about the game. Finally, we make it to the back porch.
I place Amanda in front of me. “What the hell are you doing, Amanda?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nathan. You can’t marry him. He’s- I don’t like him.”
With a scoff, she looks at me as if I’m the biggest idiot in the world. “So I’m supposed to call off my wedd
ing because you don’t like him?”
“It’s not just that. He seems a bit off. I don’t know, full of himself and fake. How old is the guy anyway?”
Amanda crosses her arms. “Must my brother and my best friend question my choice?”
“So Lindsay doesn’t like him either. She’s always been smart.”
I receive a glare that has the potential to wither me on the spot. “So what if Nathan is a bit older? He’s a good guy.”
“Do you love him?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t be marrying him if I didn’t.” It seems as if she’s trying to convince herself more than she’s trying to convince me. “Look, I’m marrying Nathan, and that’s that. Deal with it,” she snaps. “I’m going back inside.” She whirls around and stomps back inside.
I’m left standing outside, staring at her retreating form. Great, now she won’t talk to me for days. With a sigh, I move to sit down, but pause. Amanda said Lindsay is at the diner. Suddenly I’m up to taking a trip to Eddie’s Corner. I’ve already shown my face at the party. Plus, Amanda is pissed at me, so she won’t come looking for me.
Chapter Six
Lindsay
It’s another busy day at the diner. I’ve been on my feet all day. I wish the place would clear up a little, so I could sit for just a few minutes. My mind drifts to the party I know is being held at the Taylors’ house. Amanda thought it would be a great idea to host a small party before the wedding. Then there would be the rehearsal dinner in just a few days. I shake my head, a smile hovering on my lips. Amanda sure does love a crowd, and revels in entertaining. Me, not so much. For once I’m glad that I have to work. It was the best excuse to be absent from the celebration, one that Amanda couldn’t protest.
As I work, my mind drifts to the fact that I will have to face Ethan soon. It’s inevitable. I hear he’s a part of the wedding as well. Glancing at the clock above the counter, my pulse rate kicks up a notch. He’s here in Lakeville this very minute. I managed to casually ask Amanda when he was flying in. It would be nice if I could question her about him without appearing too obvious. The magazines, newspapers and social media help me to keep up with him. But Amanda would have the real inside scoop. Is he in a relationship? Does he ask about me? Realizing that I’m being pathetic, I roll my eyes and focus on keeping the customers happy.