by Amelia Jade
"Holy shit," she gasped, struggling to remain upright as she adjusted to his size, stretching to accommodate him. "You're fucking huge. I don't know how I'm taking it all."
"You aren't," he said from behind her with a bit of a chuckle, before pushing more of length inside of her, until his hips were firmly meshed against hers.
She saw stars, the pain briefly eclipsing the pleasure, albeit only for a moment. When the pain faded, she moved her hips slightly. Without warning, Tanner pulled almost all the way back, before thrusting hard against her.
The orgasm that accompanied that single movement took all body control from her. Alyssa fell forward onto the bed, screaming with pleasure as her lower body shook violently. Tanner moved with her, never letting her feel empty as her walls tightened around the hard-as-steel dick that was deep within her, pulsing again and again. Pushing her hands under her body, she pulled on her nipples, heightening the moment.
With a roar from behind her, she felt him shudder, and then jets of hot cum began to erupt from his cock within her. With a smile, she collapsed fully onto the bed as he settled on top of her, the two of them just lying there, enjoying the afterglow of their mutual climaxes. Despite the quickness of it, she was fairly positive it had been the most satisfying sex she had ever had.
"Where do you think you're going?" The question came as she tried to pull forward, away from him to begin cleaning up.
"Uhh," she fumbled, not expecting to be accosted so thoroughly.
"I'm not done with you," he said with an evil smirk, shaking his hips to prove that he was, in fact, completely erect once more.
"Oh," she said in a small voice, turning over onto her back completely, spreading her legs slowly in nervous anticipation.
"I want it slower this time," he demanded before mounting her. All she could do was nod as he took command, holding her legs tightly as he slipped inside her once more.
This time it was slower, and she could feel every inch as it entered her. She looked up, meeting his eyes while he continued to grind his hips against hers in a wonderfully rhythmic pattern. Wrapping her arms around his head, she pulled him tightly to her, pressing their lips together.
Some time later, she was unsure how long and truthfully, did not care, they moved apart. Tanner had cum within her at least twice during their session, and she had lost count of how many times she had climaxed under him. It didn't matter at that point, she told herself, smiling gently as they lay next to each other on the bed, not caring about the mess or smell of sex that permeated the room.
I wonder if I should tell him everything.
The thought came unbidden, cooling the heat in the room and killing the last vestiges of her arousal. Her mind raced while she tried to figure out the best thing to do. Telling him what she knew and highly suspected would certainly ease her conscience, but at the same time, if he found out, things would go badly.
Alyssa had come to like it in Bear Bluffs. The people were nice to her, the countryside was beautiful, and despite the recent wolf attacks, it all felt so peaceful to her. It was a place that she could see herself staying. Several times in the past few days she had caught herself having daydreams about settling down and raising some cubs nearby.
Her. Alyssa Williams. Having offspring.
It boggled the mind to even contemplate. Long ago she had accepted the fact that such a future would never be hers, but now here it was within reach. All she had to do was keep doing what she had been doing.
But that would mean lying to Tanner. I don't think I can do that.
He was so kind and gentle with her, both in bed and the entire time that he had been looking after her since the wreck. She was not willing to abuse his generosity and trust to that extent, but the prospect of telling him certain things about her past terrified Alyssa to the core.
It didn't help that she had gone and complicated the situation a hell of a lot more by sleeping with him. There were no regrets in having done so, because the moment had been all that she had wanted and more. But now there were expectations, expectations that she would be willing to open up, to tell him more, to confide in him.
She lay there for some time, contemplating the various emotions that were involved, as well as the reality of the situation. Tanner had drifted off to sleep, so she did not have to worry about him intruding on her thoughts.
Alyssa didn't think she was ready for what was supposed to happen next. After over a decade of mistrust, hiding from anything remotely resembling friendship, she wasn't ready to have a relationship with someone. It hurt, as she came to the realization of what she had to do, but it would be for the best.
The best thing for Bear Bluffs, its residents, and most of all for Tanner, was if she left them alone. Trouble seemed to follow her wherever she went, so by leaving, perhaps she could do them one favor. It seemed only fair after everything they had done for her. She would take the wolves with her, since hopefully they would follow her when she left.
Having come to the conclusion that she had to leave, the wheels in her mind began to spin, contemplating the best way for her to get out. She had a car that would be available shortly in King City, but for now she was without transport. It seemed unlikely that anyone in town could be convinced to give her a ride, especially without notifying Tanner. She didn't know any of them well enough yet to even contemplate asking, so that option was out.
There was some traffic between the two locales, but hitchhiking could take too long, and for all she knew, the first person to come her way might very well be a Bear Bluffs resident. That left the least desirable option open to her.
Using her bear to escape on foot. She shuddered slightly, the movement masked as Tanner got out of the bed, finally stirring from his side as he headed for the washroom. She watched him go, admiring his muscular legs and rear end, sighing wistfully at all that she would miss.
Sometimes doing the right thing just plain sucked.
She would leave that night, not wanting to delay any longer. With a good head start she could be well on her way to King City before Tanner even realized she was gone. There were enough springs and water along the way that she could hopefully mask her scent from him.
That only left the prospect of a pack of wolves hunting her. A dark part of her laughed, saying it would likely be because of her own stupidity in refusing to tell the truth, in constantly running away from something she couldn't change, and that the very same thing she was trying to avoid would catch up with her. Shoving that thought aside, Alyssa got up, walking toward the washroom as Tanner exited it.
For now, she needed a shower.
"Don't take too long," Tanner called after her.
"Why not?" she asked, confused.
"We were supposed to go see Dylan and Devon. They're probably still expecting us."
"Oh shit," she said, deadpan, having completely forgotten about the original plans.
"Well, hopefully they can forgive us," he replied with a wink and a smile.
Trying not to let her apprehension show, she smiled back and closed the door. Hopefully the hot water would ease some of her taut muscles, letting her relax just a bit. It wouldn't pay to appear as if she was walking on eggshells for the evening. Tanner would likely suspect something was up and confront her about it. Knowing her ability to deny him the truth was fading, she resolved not to put herself in that situation if at all possible.
***
"Hey guys, we're here!" Tanner shouted, opening the door to their house without waiting after the knock.
"Don't come in, we're naked and in the bath," came the reply from down the hall.
"Bullshit, I know the bath doesn't fit the two of you," Tanner joked, tossing his jacket on the bench in the entryway before removing his boots. She followed suit slowly, feeling very uncomfortable.
She was about to confront the two men who had been hospitalized while fighting, all because she had had the bad luck to crash her car into a tree. It didn't matter that in truth, the tree had fallen on
her, because the final result was the same.
Stepping gingerly as if she might damage the floor, Alyssa followed Tanner into a large sitting room at the end of the entrance hallway. The main floor of the house was very open concept, with the kitchen off to the left and the eating area almost directly beyond it. She admired the way the kitchen was directly open to both the more formal sit-down area and the open lounge area that housed a rather large television that currently had what looked to be a cheesy romance movie on.
"Are you guys watching another love story?" Tanner said, cringing as the main character said something particularly painful that sounded like "I would follow you to the ends of the Earth, if that's what it took."
Alyssa tried hard not to snort at the ridiculousness of it. Nobody actually said those lines in the real world. How did it seem realistic to have it said in movies?
"Hi," she said timidly as the two men sitting in chairs turned their attention to her.
"Now, now, don't give us that missy! Come in here, give us a hug," one of them said, rising out of his seat on one leg. Dylan she thought, while the one who waved his hand at her gently but remained in his seat was Devon.
"How are you guys?" she asked finally after following their directions to sit down and relax.
"We'll be okay, we're healing up nicely. Devon here went and busted his ankle slipping on a dead wolfie, along with needing twenty-four stitches on his side. That's why he's not moving. He cries like a baby every time he has to turn."
A pillow flew through the air at Dylan.
Laughing, he caught it and tucked it behind his head. "Ahh, thanks sweetheart. How did you know this is what I needed?" With another laugh he turned back to Alyssa.
"Anyway, I needed surgery on my leg, nothing major, along with stitches pretty much here, there, and everywhere. Should be healthy in another week or so," he proclaimed, beating his chest to show off his manliness to all present.
She mumbled something about being glad it wasn't serious, and then leaned back to watch. The two men were very much in love. That was something she could see now that she knew to look for it. As she listened to the three of them talk, it became apparent that their bond extended to include Tanner. He may have been their boss while they were on the job, but the three of them got along like old school pals. They were constantly joking with each other, many of which she didn't understand the context for, but the joy in their laughter was real.
What was also real was the relaxation evident in Tanner's body language. The first time he had seen the two of them after the fight, they had both been laid up in the hospital looking rather rough. Now that they were back home and well on the way to recovery, she could see that it was putting him at ease.
It was doing the opposite to her, however. The tension between each shoulder blade was increasing by the minute as her disappointment grew. In the rare dreams scattered among her far more normal nightmares, Alyssa maintained a hope that she might be one half of a pair someday. If she was honest with herself—which happened infrequently—lately she had wanted to be the other half with Tanner.
Being in the presence of two people in love only helped to emphasize the fact that she was falling for someone, that she longed to be there for him, but she couldn't. Her wildest hope was that perhaps she and Tanner could find a way to be together. She wanted to throw a pillow at him and laugh about it, to get him a beer after he labored in the yard. It wasn't such a bad life. After his beer he would give her a nice, long, foot rub.
More than anything in the world, she wanted to settle down and live her life next to someone else, someone who cared as deeply about her as she did them.
Just like Dylan and Devon.
The thought echoed wistfully in her mind. It didn't fade, however, like many times she had thought it before. Instead it built up and up, threatening to overwhelm her with sadness and desire.
Excusing herself from the group she all but ran down the hallway to the washroom they had passed on their way in. Closing the door, she sat down heavily on the toilet and let the tears flow silently.
She cried for the future she would never have. She cried for the children she would never bear. Most of all she cried for the man she would have to let down. Tanner had made no secret that he wanted her to stay, that he considered her his mate. He hadn't outright said it to her, but she had seen it in his body language, the way he talked about her to others, and just how generally happy he was around her.
That was what hurt the most: the disappointment. As a child, before she had realized the truth of things, she had felt bad when her parents got angry at her. As time went on, the words had impacted her less and less. Then, her mother had told her one day that she was disappointed in her.
Alyssa's world had been devastated. She had cried and apologized and begged to try and fix it. The words and the knowledge that you had let someone else down when they expected better of you was painful. Knowing that she was going to disappoint a good man was a relentless attack of guilt, even if she knew it would work out for the best in the end.
That night, after they were back home and in bed, she lay awake for a long time, ensuring she was making the right decision. Finally, she eased herself to her feet with a sigh, grimacing at how loudly some of the floorboards creaked under her weight. Although she was comfortable with her size and figure, stealth was not something that could be attributed to her frame.
Grabbing her most important belongings, she stuffed them into one of the rucksacks she had been living out of for some time. Then, she grabbed one of the sheets, and with a mental apology to Tanner, she ripped it into several long pieces. She began to tie them to the bag, making two big loops around the top, and one huge loop at the bottom. Eyeing her handiwork, she hauled it on to one shoulder and crept out of the house.
No lights turned on as she closed the door behind her. Breathing a sigh of relief, Alyssa turned and ran for the treeline. Just before she moved in amongst the trees she stopped and discarded her bag. Moving several steps away, she closed her eyes and touched the link with her bear, nudging it awake.
With a snuffle of delight at the chance to roam the unexplored forest, her bear came charging forth. The change was over in the blink of an eye, and she moved quickly to her pack. Bears could be surprisingly deft when controlled by human intelligence, and she managed to get her form into the makeshift harness without too much difficulty. The big loop of sheet fit loosely around her bear waist, while the two smaller loops were almost a little tight on her front legs. It would stay put for the journey, however, and that was what mattered in the end.
Steeling herself against the urge to look back, Alyssa pushed through the first line of brush and into the forest. She wasn't exactly sure where Bear Bluffs was, but the first thing she knew was to head west out of the mountains. That was easy enough to do compared to understanding the feelings in her mind.
Less than a minute later thunder crackled and the first drops of rain pattered against the leaves above her head.
Perfect.
Chapter Nine
Tanner
Immediately after becoming aware that he was awake, Tanner was struck by two urges simultaneously.
Stretch. Yawn.
Surrendering to the demands of his body without a fight, he did both at the same time with a smile. His oversized bed seemed small beneath his large frame, emphasized by the way his limbs hung over the edges as he lay spread-eagled, stretching as far as he could reach. Sinking back into the mattress, eyes blinking, he decided he was awake enough to take on the shower.
Light streamed through the window in the bathroom, narrowing his eyes to slits as he tried to adjust after the darkness of his bedroom. The golden rays reflected off the mirror, brightening the entire room. As the water began to cascade over his body, he smiled, telling himself today was going to be a good day. It might not be the best he had ever had, but it was going to be good.
Finishing his morning rituals he went to knock on Alyssa's door to find out
what she wanted for breakfast. Emerging from his room he noticed immediately that the door was ajar. Never before had she risen before him, but perhaps this was a sign she was coming around to the fact that he rose quite early. Peeking his head in, it was clear that her stuff was still there.
Just as he was going to look for her elsewhere, he noticed the ripped sheet.
"Alyssa," he called out cautiously.
Why would she rip just that sheet up?
Confused, Tanner began to search the whole house. It quickly became evident that she wasn't there, which just added to his puzzlement.
Where could she have gone?
A search outside didn't reveal much more. The ground was still wet from the rain before, which would have wiped out any scent she may have left outside. Tanner was an expert tracker though, like most shifters, and his keen eyes managed to pick out footprints in the grass that were now filled with a small layer of water.
Following them to the forest edge, he saw the human prints become those of a bear before they vanished. The wind had stirred up enough of the deadfall in the forest to obscure her tracks beyond his abilities.
It proved that she had run off, alone.
But why?
That was the question he couldn't solve. Everything had been going smoothly to his knowledge. It seemed like things were actually getting better if he was any judge. So something had set her off, prompting her to flee instead of stay. As he thought about it, his mind kept going back to the day before behind the Quencher.
The moment he had shown her that symbol she had reacted strongly. She had become scared almost instantly. At the time, he had put it down to bad memories from the fight, assuming that she would be okay. Anger flowed into him as he realized he had been wrong. She clearly had needed to talk then, not in the future. But he, being the idiot he was, had taken her over to Dylan and Devon's place. After exposing her to their atmosphere, she must have felt even more out of place.
So she had run, hoping to put the memories behind her by leaving the place where it had happened. All because he had assumed he had more time to approach her and talk to her. Kicking himself, he paced back and forth, wondering what to do.