by Kam Carr
I walked through the lobby and outside. I couldn't look back. I didn't want to see what I had just given up. My heart felt it had been smashed into a thousand pieces. My poor Mr Golden rule. Although, he wasn't mine anymore. I heard my phone gone off. I reached into my bag and pulled it out. One message received... I opened it up...
I'll never stop loving you, Miss Dawson xxx
Mr Golden rule xxx
I stopped in my tracks, should I go back? I wanted to. However, Blake and the wedding were my reasons not to. Everything was organized apart from my dress. I felt confused, numb, and sad and most of all lost. I looked back at the phone and hit delete.
It had to be this way for everyone’s sake. I had set him free to go on and live his life. We both could. There would be no more lying, no more drama and no more secret meetings. I could no longer cause him any more pain. He could get on with his business without my distraction. I took in a deep breath and carried on home.
***
The day to pick my wedding dress was here. I felt rough. I hadn't slept or eaten since Thursday. I was mourning the lost of my job and Maxwell. Friday I had spent all day in bed in spite of Blake's complaining. He just didn't understand how important that job was to me. If I had to hear him Kam, "There will be plenty more" one more time, I was going to hit him with his camera.
I was sat in Amy's little sports car. She was driving us to Banbury to check out a wedding dress shop she had found on the internet. This time next week I would be getting married, I cringed at the thought. I did love Blake, but everything felt rushed and out of my control.
I looked down at my phone. Maxwell hadn't got in touch with me. He was obviously doing what I asked him to do. I kept wondering if he was seeing someone else. I know it had only been two days, but he was a beautiful man. Any woman with a chance could easily snap him up with a click of their fingers. I rested my head on the back of the seat and let out a big sigh.
"What's wrong with you?" Amy asked her eyes focused on the road. "Isn't today meant to be every woman's dream come true? Finding that amazing dress to wear when you declare the love for your man." I rolled my eyes and didn't reply. "Take that as a no!"
"What's wrong with me?" I whined. "I love Blake. I really do, but....."
"Georgina, you're just having second thoughts. This is perfectly normal. Plus, you have lost your job and that can be depressing it's self." She parked up the car. I guess we were here. "Come on, they hand out free champagne."
I shook my head. "I've gone off Champagne."
Amy looked at me like I had two heads. We got out the car and headed in the direction of the shop.
"What happened to your job?" Amy asked lighting up a cigarette.
"I really don't want to talk about" I groaned.
"Why not" Amy stopped in her tracks and grabbed my arm. "It's got to do with your fuckable boss, hasn't it?" She looked concerned. I wasn't in the mood for sharing anything with her or anyone else.
"Ex boss!" I snapped. "I said I don't want to talk about" I carried on walking leaving Amy behind. I didn't know exactly where I was going. I looked up and there was massive sign – Bride for a day.
I rolled my eyes. I really wasn't in the mood for trying on dresses, parading up and down and pretending it was going to be the happiest day of my life. I stepped inside and a blonde woman ran towards me. She was dressed in a pink suit, with big earrings and pink bright lipstick.
She gave a massive smile. "Hi," she sang happily. "My name is Bella. How can I help you?"
Amy was now next to me. She held out her hand and Bella looked at her as if she was crazy. "We need a bridesmaids dress and a wedding dress. You got any?" I could hear the sarcasm in Amy's voice. Bella avoided Amy and looked directly at me.
"Are you the bride?" she smiled.
"Yes" I replied looking down at my hands.
"Well, that was obvious" her eyes diverted back at Amy and then to me. "What sort of wedding are you having?"
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't have a clue about my own wedding. Just that the envelopes for the invitations were gold. How pathetic was that? It was meant to be the happiest day of my life and I didn't even know what the cake looked like.
"Oh," Bella pouted. This woman had a really annoying high pitch voice. "I think I have the perfect dress for you. What colour do you want your bridesmaid to wear?"
"I want red" Amy ordered. "Because it's fucking sexy." I had to cover my mouth to stop the laugh. Bella looked horrified and scurried off. "What a bitch!" Amy said loudly. We noticed a velvet pink sofa and took our places. "Why won't you tell me what happened?" Amy sighed. "You're my best friend and I share everything with you."
I sat back and folded my arms. "This really isn't the place to discuss this" I hissed. "Besides, you don't share everything...." Amy glared at me. "You don't!"
"Oh my god.... That Maxwell fucker has changed you!"
"He has not!" I spat. "You really want to know?" Amy nodded her head. "Really, Well....."
"Here we are" Bella was walking over to us carrying a dress draped over her arms. She stood before us and held it up. The dress was amazing. I had never seen anything like before. It was utterly beautiful. I stood up and walked over to Bella, I ran my finger along the fabric. The satin felt lush.
"It's an elegant A line Venus Satin gown, featuring a scooped neckline, lace halter, a lace-up corset back and chapel length train. This is a very flattering dress and is in high demand. You're in luck this is the last size 8 we have."
"Can I try it on?" I was hypnotized by this dress, itching to see what it looked like and what it felt like to wear something so beautiful.
"Rachel" Bella screamed. A young brown headed girl ran from the back of the shop. "Will you help Miss...?” She looked at me. Oh, I hadn't introduced myself because of Amy's sarcastic remark.
"Miss Dawson," I smiled.
"Will you help Miss Dawson get into this dress?" The brown headed nodded and took the dress off Bella. I couldn't let the dress out of my sight. I followed the girl into the dressing room.
"Now, what to do about you." I heard Bella say to Amy.
I was standing on a platform in front of four mirrors. The dress was perfect and fitted like it was made for me. Bella had also found shoes and a diamond tiara. This was how it would feel to be a princess.
I closed my eyes and I could imagine walking down the aisle, everyone looking at me. Waiting at the bottom dressed in a tuxedo with his hair gelled back. His eyes beaming at me full of love and not leaving mine. My stomach started to somersault and my heart started to pound hard. Mrs Georgina Thomas. I opened my eye quick and felt dizzy. Why was my day dreaming about him?
Amy ran over. "George, what's wrong?" She said in a panicked voice. I looked down she was beautiful; dressed in an off the shoulder deep red ball gown. It really suited her dark hair and olive skin. "George?"
I stepped down off the platform and just hugged my best friend. My legs felt like jelly and my head was spinning. Why was I thinking about him? I was marrying Blake! Where was Blake in my daydream?
I looked up into my friend's face and just burst into tears. I couldn't control my mouth any longer and I didn't care about who was here. "I love Maxwell, Amy. He told me to leave my job as he can't face me getting married to Blake. If the witch didn't send him an invitation I would still have my job. If I hadn't spent all day with him Wednesday at the hotel I would still have my job. . I did this all to myself and I have to marry Blake because I promised to. "
I dropped to the floor and cried harder. Everything was such a mess.
Amy dropped to my side. "Do you love Blake?"
I wiped a tear away. "Of course I love Blake" I sniffed. "I have never doubted that. Can you be in love with two men at the same time?"
Amy shrugged. "I guess..." She stopped and placed an arm round me. "Maybe you don't love Maxwell. Maybe you just think you do. It could just be lust. When he asked you not to marry Blake, what did you say?"
"I said no!"
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Amy gave a friendly smile. "See, if you didn't love Blake you would have gone off with Maxwell. Sometimes our minds play tricks on us. They make us think and believe things that aren't true." I looked over at Amy, deep down I knew she was right. This was why she was my best friend. She could help me through anything. "And now you don't work for him you never have to see him again."
"Oh Amy," I gave her a big hug. "What would I do without you?"
"Have you girls decided?" Bella squeaked. She was staring at us and she didn't look too pleased that we were both sat on the floor in her dresses. Me and Amy looked at one another and laughed. Amy was right, I did love Blake and I never had to see Maxwell again. I could focus on my wedding day.
I was marrying the man of my dreams, who adored me, looked after me and would never cheat on me. I was really lucky, Blake had stayed with me after learning about Maxwell and I was really grateful. I had to be the perfect wife for Blake, he deserved the best. He was a decent man and there weren't many of those around.
"Yes," Amy snapped. "We will take these two..." Her eyes looked back at me. "I can't wait till the hen do”. We both fell into a fit of laughter.
Finally I was excited about my wedding day. Why shouldn't I be? I was marrying the man who had captured my heart two years ago. I gave a sigh. Blake was the perfect man for me.
***
I decided that night I was going to do something special for Blake. I had to get the romance make into our relationship. We had one week exactly till the wedding day. I didn't want to keep anything from him. I had decided I was going to tell the real reason why I know longer have a job.
I had set the table, candles and flowers. I was dressed up in a purple maxi dress – Amy had helped with my hair and make-up. I had gone and got his favourite from M&S as I couldn't cook to save my life.
I looked at the clock, he would be home soon. Blake had gone to his parents home to discuss a few things for the wedding. I had declined the offer as I wanted to do this for him. I switched the iPod docking station on and Bruno Mars 'Just the way you are' filled the room.
I heard Blake's key in the door and raced over to the fridge to grab the bottle of wine.
"Hey," he sang. "What are you doing?"
I closed the fridge with wine in hand and stepped towards the breakfast bar. "I thought we could spend an evening together – eat, drink and be merry!" I said in a suggestive manner. I began to fill the glasses up, Blake stopped opposite me and I handed him a glass. "I haven't been a very good girlfriend lately. That is all going to change now." I picked up my own glass. "This time next week we are going to be Mr and Mrs Waterman."
He held up his glass. "I would say cheers to that" we clinked glasses and both took a sip.
"Before we start our evening I really must tell you the real reason I have no job."
Blake turned his nose up and narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean the real reason? I thought you said you had enough?"
"No," I looked away. Lies upon lies upon lies. I really didn't want to be that person any more. I hated her. She was selfish, greedy, and deceitful and most all that wasn't who I was.
"I had to leave my job because Maxwell told me too. He didn't say it so many words, but I sort of felt like if I married you I couldn't keep it." I looked down at my glass and took in a deep breath. Maxwell said he loved me that must have been a lie as well. Otherwise he would allow me to stay on no matter what.
Blake tilted his head to the side and blinked rapidly. I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad sign. I watched as he took another sip of his drink. His emerald eyes fell on me. They were so clear and sparkling. "And that's why you left?" I nodded. "You choose me over him?"
"It wasn't a matter of choosing someone" I said. How could he think that? Hadn't I always made it clear to Maxwell that I was marrying Blake? Not like Blake would have any clue about that.
"I agreed to marry you Blake and that has never changed.” I could slowly see a smile creep up on his face. He strolled round to my side and placed his arms around me. It was good to be back where I belonged. I had just lost my way for a while, but thank god I had found my way back.
The cooker timer went off and I pulled away. "Go sit and let your future wife take care of you". Blake did as I said and I dished up the dinner.
"You know I could get used to this," he laughed, leaning back in his chair and relaxing. "Being waited on hand and foot. Makes me feel like a proper man. Coming home to a cooked meal. Wife looking sexy and wine." He downed the rest of his drink.
I walked over to the table with the plates. "I wouldn't get too use to it." I placed his plate in front of him.
He looked at his food and then at me. "M and S?"
I sat down opposite and placed a hand on my chest. "Would I ever do that?" I tried to act coy. Blake beamed and we both tucked into our food. We hadn't done this in a while. In fact, I couldn't think of the last time I'd had a home cooked meal. To be normal at last felt great. No lying, no sneaking around, just me and my man. The way it should have always been.
"What are the plans for the upcoming week?" I asked enjoying my food. Blake stopped eating and looked up at me. The butterflies began in my stomach. His blonde hair was all floppy in his face and his eyes bright. Even with the extra stubble, he looked mouth watery irresistible. I could feel myself biting down on my lip.
Who in their right mind would even contemplate having an affair with a boyfriend like Blake Waterman? He was a man and a half plus, as from next Saturday he was going to be 100 percent mine. I could feel the smile on my face and this felt blissful.
"Well," he began. "We have nothing planned for Monday or Tuesday. Wednesday is the dinner with our parents. Thursday is chill out day and Friday is hen and stag night" He placed forkful of salmon in his mouth and swallowed. "Saturday you're be my wife." He said wife with such proud that made my skin tingle.
There was a knock on the door. We both looked at each other stunned. Blake got up and answered the door. I carried on eating my food, I wasn't expecting anyone and there was no way this was going to waste.
"George," Blake called out. "I think there is someone here to see you."
I rolled my eyes. Who the hell was it? I turned to face the door and I all most chocked on my food. Standing in some bright patchwork trench coat was...My mother!
I slowly got up from the table. This had to be some sort of nightmare. I rubbed my eyes... No she was still there. Blake welcomed her in and closed the door. We just stood staring at each other. She had some nerve coming here. What did she want?
She obviously wanted something, I had lived here for over a year and she hadn't bothered before. I hated her for how she treated me in London – Choosing a man over her own flesh and blood. She wasn't a mother...She was the incubator. My mother was in Spain.
"Would you care for a drink?" Blake asked her politely. She nodded and he ran off to fetch it her.
I walked a little closer. Hopefully she could see the hatred in my eyes. "What are you doing here?" I spat.
She raised her eyes innocently and pulled something out of her pocket. I had seen that paper before. It was a wedding invitation – not her too!
"I've come early for your wedding" she smiled. I snatched it from her and looked. "Couldn't miss my little girl walking down the aisle."
"No, just half of my life." I ripped the invitation up and threw it at her. "Get out!"
"George!" Blake yelled, running over. "What are you doing? She's your mother" The look of disgust filled his face. He didn't have a clue, did he?
He was lucky. Even though his mum was an overbearing control freak she still loved him. Mine ran off to marry a cannabis freak and I was brought up by another woman. Caitlyn was a brilliant mum to me and Dee. I couldn't have asked for a better one. I looked at Blake and he raised an eyebrow. I could tell by his eyes he was urging me on to change my mind.
Could I really allow this woman at my wedding? So she gave me the gift of life, blah blah blah! Where was she when I n
eeded her? Then at the chance of free food and drink here she is. This was too big a decision.
What would my Dad say when he saw her? He would go crazy. He hated her more than anything in the world. Great, that was all we needed for our big day my family causing a scene. I couldn't believe I was going to do this. My father is going to go spare.
"Where are you staying?" I asked coldly. I folded my arms and glared at her. She felt uncomfortable and shifted on the spot.
"She can stay with us" Blake quickly said. He looked at her and gave his smile. It was wasted on her. "We have a spare room, stay here if you want. I guess you and George have a lot of catching up to do." I gave a little laugh and Blake glared at me. "I'll show you your room" he picked up her bag and led her away.
I ran over to the breakfast bar and picked up the bottle of wine. I needed it if I was going to spend a week with her. I looked round my glass had vanished. Sod it. I began to drink from the bottle.
"What are you doing now?" Blake sounded disgusted and grabbed the bottle from me. "This isn't the answer."
"No," I snatched the bottle back. "It will make things fucking easier" and downed some more from the bottle. Bruno Mars was now singing about grenades. I would tell you one place I would throw one.... I slammed the bottle down on the breakfast bar and took in a deep breath.
"What's the matter with you?"
"Huh, I'm sorry... I should be happy. The woman who abandons me wants to be part of my day?" I carried my bottle over to the sofa and sat down. I needed more. Anything that would help me get through this night was welcomed. Could this week get any worse?
Blake came and sat down next to me. He placed a hand on mine and gave it a little squeeze. "Don't be hard on her. She’s come to sort everything out. At the end of the day she is still your mother."
I rolled my eyes. He really didn't have a clue did he? I had made an effort a few weeks ago and she threw it in my face. Now she got a chance to play mother of the bride here she was. My Dad was going to go ballistic at the sight of her. The thought was too daunting to think about.