Then his phone rings again and this time he's really pissed.
"For fuck's sake!" He grabs his phone and jumps up. "Hang on, Taryn. I have to take this or she'll never stop."
I watch him stalk from the room, down a hallway and my heart sinks.
She? The blonde girlfriend no doubt. Damn. What shitty timing.
I listen quietly and can just about hear Michael's end of the conversation.
"- I know, Ava! I can't talk right now, alright? .... Because I'm with a student and you are annoying me. I told you I need a fucking break! ......Yeah, well you calling and texting me 24/7 is not a break!"
I'm frozen to my seat. So, the girlfriend's name is Ava and he wants a break from her. That means he's not with anyone right now. That means maybe ....
I put my hand to my mouth and push back the thought. No, I'm crazy. He wouldn't want me. Not for real, right?? I mean, he's a teacher! And it's probably illegal or something. Or immoral. Yes, immoral. That's what it is.
Maybe that's what makes me want it so bad.
Michael comes back, his face clearly flustered. "Sorry. Uh..." He runs two hands through his hair and looks at me distractedly. "I should really run you back to the school to get your car. You feel better now?"
I nod numbly and stand up. He takes my hand in his and we go out to his car like we're actually together or something.
◆◆◆
Michael stops me before I get out of his car at school. "You sure you're okay now? I didn't mean to rush you out or anything...it's just..." He glances at his phone. I get it. Stupid Ava.
"No, it's fine, I understand." I grab my back pack and open my door just as he lays a hand on my thigh.
"Taryn..."
I stare at his hand; I can't fucking breathe. His hand. On my thigh. I can feel the warm pressure of his palm.
Finally, I look up at him and he's giving me a little, kind of wistful smile. And then he leans over and kisses me, on the corner of my mouth. It's a very tiny kiss and he pulls back and looks away from me. But it's a real kiss. I can feel that.
"You better go." His voice is very quiet and firm.
I start to get out of his car.
"You can text."
I stare down at him and his blue eyes are round and earnest. I feel my heart swell. My lips slide into a grateful, happy smile and I give him a little wave, flushing as I watch him pull away.
I love my teacher. I can barely process the thought, but it's there. It's there and it's true and my insides are a mass of jelly. I want to cry I'm so happy.
But Ryan...
Fuck. This isn't right. I'm not supposed to love my teacher. I'm supposed to love the boy my own age, the one I've been crushing on since I was a little kid, the one I've just dumped my boyfriend for.
I have to go home. I'll be able to think clearer there. In my bathtub, with the bubbles and the warmth, I'll be able to figure it out all out.
I slowly unlock my car and then I look up. Manny is standing just a few yards away, leaning against his car, glaring at me with his dark brown eyes. He's seen everything.
Chapter Eight
I'm staring at Manny and he's staring at me, and neither of us are happy. I walk over to him slowly, clutching my keys in my hand.
"It's not what you think-" I begin.
"Right!" He smiles and shakes his head. "It's never what a person thinks, is it? So, you and Hayes? Seriously?"
I want to slug him. Why was he even still at school at this hour? Was he freaking spying on me or something??
"I told you, there's nothing going on. He just gave me a ride back to school."
"Back to school from where?" Manny's mouth twists into a smirk. "From his place?"
"Fuck you, Manny!" I turn to walk away.
"I heard what Patrick did. Coach put him on suspension, for the next two matches. I saw your car was still in the lot and I got worried. Searched all over for you and was just getting ready to leave when you drove up with Hayes."
I look back at Manny over my shoulder.
"You were worried?"
He nods and shrugs. "Yeah. I also punched Pat in the face, so next time you see him he might look a little different."
"Thanks. I guess." I turn back to him, not sure what else to say.
"But I see I didn't need to worry after all."
"Nothing happened." I insist.
"He fucking kissed you!" Manny exclaims, his eyebrows raising. "I saw the whole thing, Taryn. I saw our English Lit teacher kiss you right on the mouth in his car. God knows what I didn't see."
This is so not the day for him to be doing this to me. All I want is to hop into my car and fucking leave.
"Which is none of your freaking business, Manny!" I shout at him. "You don't even like me, so what do you care?"
"Who says I don't like you?" He shoots back, closing the distance between us. "You annoy the shit out of me but I've never said I didn't like you. Or if I did, I don't remember it."
"Oh my God!" I point my keys in his face. "You treated me like shit today in front of your crappy friends! You laughed at me, and made fun of me!"
Manny knocks my hand away. "You were flirting in front of my crew, in front of Gina, what did you expect me to do? Bow down and worship at your stuck-up feet?"
It's too much. His anger and the look of disgust on his face send me over the edge. I start to cry again, covering my face with one hand.
"You were so nice to me yesterday, I thought...I thought..."
"You thought we were friends?" Manny laughs and I hit him hard on the chest.
"I hate you!" I hit him again and he just stands there and takes it. "You're a real piece of shit, you know that?! I should quit right now; I can't stand the thought of working with you anymore. I wish you'd just disappear!"
I reach up to slap his face this time and he grabs my hand and then grabs me and the next thing I know his mouth is on mine and he's kissing me, holding me tightly against his rock-hard frame.
The kiss goes on forever and it's not a mean kiss, or a rough kiss, just a longing kiss, his lips exploring mine, his tongue caressing the edges of my teeth. He gently sucks on my lower lip and then pulls away.
He goes back to his car and looks at me as he gets behind the wheel. His expression is totally unreadable, a mask of stone.
I watch Manny drive away in a cloud of exhaust and I stand alone in the parking lot, no idea what to do now.
◆◆◆
I'm in my bathtub, I have my bubbles, I have the hot water and I have my cell. I begged off dinner tonight, telling Mom I wasn't hungry and locked myself in my bathroom to soak and think.
I've been in here for like twenty minutes and I still am nowhere near knowing what I should do. How in the hell have things gotten so crazy? I have no best friend and no other friends that I can talk to. I certainly can't talk to Mom about it. That would go over great! "Hey Mom, Mr. Hayes kissed me and touched my thigh and wants me to text him, AND I'm totally in love with him and with Ryan! AND Manny, the pool boy and my boss, kissed today too!" She'd have me locked up!
What is wrong with me?? People don't just fall in love with three people at once, do they?? I mean, only complete sluts do that, right??
I'm not a slut. Not that I don't think about sex, because, hell, I'm human! But I don't go around wanting to throw myself at every guy I see. Can I help it, if three totally hot and wonderful guys seem to like me at once??
I have to smile a little as I stick my toes out of the bubbles at the end of the tub. Kim would be so jealous if she knew about all of this. She wouldn't be able to stand the thought that plain old, second place Taryn, her former sidekick and punching bag had managed to attract three guys at once.
I glance at my phone on the little table beside me and then pick it up, scrolling through my contacts. I know what I should do. I should text Ryan. He's probably expecting me to text and by now he must have heard I'd dumped Patrick. My thumb hovers over his name but then I scroll up and stare at Manny's number.
/>
That kiss. Holy hell, that was probably one of the hottest kisses I'd ever been given. But what does it mean? Was he just messing with me? Manny is dating Gina, isn't he? I mean they are always together it seems anyway. I scowl and go back to Ryan's number. Of course, Manny is screwing around with me. This is just another way for him to be a dick.
I'll text Ryan, it's only right.
But before I can, I get an incoming text. It's Michael.
Chapter Nine
I can't believe Michael is really texting me again! I sit up in the bath, sloshing soapy water onto the floor. My heart is fluttering as I read the text.
"How's it going? We need to talk about what happened. The kiss."
No, no, no! He's going to tell me he shouldn't have kissed me. He's going to say we can't do this and he's going to shut things down right now. I can't let him. Because I don't care that he's a teacher, I don't care about anything but keeping this going.
I quickly tap out a response before he can tell me these things. I'm faster than he is because I spend practically every waking hour texting.
"Don't say it's wrong because you didn't do anything I didn't want you to do."
I sit back in the water and hold my breath, waiting to see what he says.
It seems like ages before he answers.
"Me too. I didn't do anything I didn't want to do either."
I giggle and my thumbs fly across my phone. "I wish you were right here with me now."
He's slow at texting back. Most adults are. It takes my mom ten minutes to write a simple three sentence text.
"Where are you?"
"I'm in the bathtub. Naked."
There is a very long pause after that one and I hope I haven't gone too far. But this is too much fun and my heart is racing.
"Taryn, you can't say stuff like that."
I pout a little and type back. "Why not? Is it naughty?"
Another long pause. "STOP!"
I burst out laughing. Teasing my teacher is a blast! "Should I send you a pic?"
"Jesus, NO!"
I send him a crying laughing emoji but he doesn't text back, which seriously bums me out. I hope Ava hasn't texted him. God, I hate that bitch and I don't even know her.
Finally, after several more minutes with no return text I get out of the bath and get ready for bed. Then I suddenly realize I forgot to write my stupid Shakespeare paper. Crap!
Sitting cross legged on my bed in my jammies I grab my lap tap and open up Word. A wicked thought shoots through my brain. A really, seriously, wicked thought. Before I change my mind, I type out my title:
Will and Anne: Their First Time
Michael had said to use our imaginations, but to keep things real. I figure it can't get more real than a girl’s first time. I try to keep it rated PG but in my paper I make it pretty obvious that Will and Anne were mad for one another when he gently took her virginity.
At the end I add one more alluring question:
"What better way for a girl to become a woman, than for her to have a skillful, gentle, older lover to show her the way? To be her teacher, in all things?"
I honestly don't think I have the guts to print this thing out and lay it on his desk in the morning. I quickly make a copy and bring up Michael's email, pasting the paper into the text.
My hand hovers over the send button and I hesitate. I'm not sure what Michael will think. Maybe he won't want to be my teacher "in all things". But if I don't ask, how will I ever know?
I hit the button and clasp my throat. Well it's done now.
I feel sick.
◆◆◆
I don't know how the hell I even get to sleep that night. But somehow, I do and I grab my phone as soon as my alarm sounds the next morning, checking for a text from Michael. Nothing.
"Shit." I sit up in bed and begin gnawing at my thumb nail. His silence is unnerving. He must have gotten my paper by now. Oh my God, I told my teacher in not so many words that I wanted him to take my virginity!
Moaning, I roll out of bed and hurry to take my shower and do my hair. I dress in some more casual wear, torn jeans and another sweatshirt, pinning my hair up with a few tendrils framing my face.
When I get downstairs Mom and Ethan are already gone. They have a builder's conference in Atlanta and will be gone for two days. Marvy. Telling me in advance would have been kind of nice.
Sighing, I pick up the envelope of cash Mom left for me. There's about five hundred dollars there but I'm to pay Manny $80 for cleaning the pool.
Crap. Manny. With everyone going on with Michael I'd forgotten about his kiss. And then Ryan. And Kim. If I go to school today, I'll have to deal with each one of them. My stomach is rolling and I feel sick. I can't do this. I can't walk into that building knowing that so many unknowns will be coming for me today.
So, I'm ditching school. Fuck it.
I plug the coffee maker in and run upstairs to change into some comfy lounge wear.
◆◆◆
After I change into my favorite sweat pants and white tank top I message Mom in Atlanta that I'm not feeling well so she won't be caught off guard when the school emails her later. Our school has this stupid attendance thing where they tattle on kids who are absent via text and email. But the jokes on them, since my mom doesn't ever actually care when I ditch. Probably because I hardly ever do it.
I get myself a bag of BBQ Fritos and a Diet Coke and settle on the couch to watch day time TV. Which seriously sucks. God, how do people watch this crap? I scan the channels past day time talk shows, game shows and sewing shows, till I finally find an old black and white channel which is playing old timey reruns.
Then my phone starts buzzing. First, it's Mom, who asks how I am and tells me to make myself some soup. Then it's Kim, asking if I'm hiding from her because I'm a loser. I block Kim and go on to my next text, which is from Ryan. I smile at his. He's sent a Sponge-Bob meme, asking if I want go jelly-fishing once I feel better? God, he's so cute.
I push away the guilt I feel about Ryan. I haven't seen him since dumping Patrick. I really need to talk to him, to see where his head is at. Because my head is firmly on Michael right now. It's not fair to Ryan to string him along like I did with Patrick.
On TV "The Andy Griffith Show" comes on. It's goofy as shit, but sort of funny. I crunch on my Fritos as my phone continues buzzing.
A 'tetchy' text from Patrick. "You need to get your shit out of my truck or I'm burning it."
Jerk. I have no idea what I have in his truck, but if he thinks I'm going anywhere near him or his crappy vehicle he's crazy! I block him too and wonder if I'll hear from Michael. Why is he being silent? I must have really pissed him off with that paper. I just wish he'd talk to me.
Finally, after a while longer I decide I'll text him first. Maybe that's what he's waiting for.
I'm not sure what to say really and I know he's teaching right now so he won't even be able to look at my message for a while. But I type it anyway and hit send.
"My mom and step dad are gone for two days. Which means I'm home alone."
Then I suddenly remember Manny is due to come by to clean the pool.
"Fuckety fuck!" I mutter. I grab my phone and text Michael again.
"But only come at night. After dark. If you decide to come over that is."
I wince and put my thumbnail back to my mouth. I sound horribly desperate. He's going to think I'm some kind of freak. But there's nothing I can do now. The texts have been sent and the ball is now in his court.
Chapter Ten
It's eleven p.m. and Michael has not texted back. I can't believe I propositioned my English Lit teacher. There is disturbed and then there is me.
Ethan doesn't keep the liquor cabinet locked which is super convenient for me right now. I go into his den and grab a bottle of Scotch and pour myself a glass. I've never had Scotch. It just seems like a good choice when you want to drown your feelings in alcohol.
I take a tentative sniff and make a face. But I dri
nk anyway and immediately start gagging. Shit! Why would anyone drink this stuff?
I put the Scotch back into the cabinet and take the glass to the kitchen. I'm rinsing my mouth out with water to get rid of the taste when the doorbell rings.
I freeze. Oh my God. It's him. It has to be him. And my hair isn't brushed, my eyes are red from crying and I'm in fucking sweats!
I grab my phone and shoot him a text.
"Is that you at the door?"
While I'm waiting for a response I dash upstairs to my room and grab a clean sweatshirt. There's no time for a bra and my sweat pants are at least clean so I'll leave those on.
My phone dings and it is him!
"Yes, expecting someone else?"
I laugh right out loud like a crazy girl and ask him to wait just a few minutes. Then I dash to my bathroom and run a brush through my knots. A little concealer, bronzer and mascara and I'm ready.
◆◆◆
Michael is leaning against the door frame when I finally get down there. He looks amazing, as usual. Jeans, another long-sleeved tee and of course my favorite leather bracelets on his wrists. He is smiling, but he also raises an eyebrow at me.
"Do you honestly think this is a good idea?"
I bite my lip and feel a flush creep up over my cheeks. "I don't know," I admit. I try to think what you say to a man when you want to invite them into your house for sex. "Um...do you want a drink?"
Michael laughs and steps inside and I close the door behind him.
"No, I don't want a drink and neither do you. You are underage and I, am your teacher."
My spirits sink. He's going to fucking lecture me now. I feel like a total dipshit. He's not going to risk his career over some loser like me. He has Ava after all. And if he doesn't want her, he could have his pick of any grown woman in the world. I hug my arms to my middle and want to disappear.
"Can we sit?" He's looking at me and he looks tired. Like he's had a really bad day. Which makes two of us.
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