Crushed

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Crushed Page 13

by Brigid McMahon


  His brow furrows. "Huh?"

  "Gina, you know. Your girlfriend."

  Manny laughs and steps forward, his hands on my waist, effectively pinning me against the sink with his hips.

  "Gina is not my girlfriend."

  I pout a little because I can't help it. "She used to be."

  He looks away for a moment, his lips thinning, then his eyes come back to mine. "Used to be. We broke up like six months ago."

  "Yeah, but at school, you guys are always around each other and flirting and stuff."

  Manny chuckles, a low soft sound. His full lips are curled into a half-smile, and I just want to press my mouth to his.

  "That's nothing, Taryn. That's just how I am with all the girls who hang out with my crowd. We all just bullshit around with each other, that's all. Gina has a boyfriend already."

  I snort, rolling my eyes. "In prison?"

  "Hey!" Manny's familiar scowl is back, and he takes my chin in his hand. "Don't do that. Don't talk bad about my friends, okay? Because you don't know them. You only know what you see, and then you pass judgment. I know you're really better than that, Taryn. I know you're not like the bitches you used to hang out with."

  I bite my lip, tearing slightly at his annoyance. "I'm sorry..."

  He releases my chin, thumbing away a stray tear under my eye and then slides his hands down my back.

  "Gina is rough around the edges, kinda like me. But she has a heart of gold for the people she cares about. She's dating Hector now, and they hope to marry after she graduates this year."

  "Hector! Your brother?"

  Manny nods. "Yep. That's why they aren't here tonight. Hector took Gina away for the weekend. They're madly in love and her and me, we're just like brother and sister now. If you get to know her, you'll see what a sweetheart she is."

  I find that hard to believe since I've spent a lot of years in school worried that the girl would kick my ass. But if Manny says it's so, I guess I'll have to trust him.

  "Can we go back out to the party?" I ask, running my hands over his chest.

  "Sure." He leans down and kisses me softly, and then we head back outside where the dancing has started.

  ◆◆◆

  Manny has his arms wrapped around me from behind, and we sway to the lively Mexican music. Everyone is doing the coolest looking dance. There's a smile on every person's face, from the old to the young. Manny's grandpa is clapping along from his chair, and even the spectators are moving and doing little steps where they stand.

  "The dancing is so cool!" I tell Manny over my shoulder. "They all know the steps, no one looks awkward!"

  Manny puts his mouth to my ear, so I can hear him over the music and the crowd. "It's a Cumbia."

  "A what-ia?"

  Manny laughs and leads me to the dance floor.

  "A Spanish dance. It's easy, let me teach you."

  I flush, looking at the other dancers. "No, I can't, Manny! I'll look stupid!"

  "Come on, you chicken! We'll stay here in this little corner, no one is even paying us any attention. Now, look at my feet."

  I glance around, and he's right, no one is looking at us. I just don't want to be the dumb white girl who can't dance. But I obediently look down.

  "Okay, feet together. Then step back with your right foot, and at the same time, you're gonna pivot your left foot, so it's a little behind, like this."

  I’m concentrating hard on Manny's shoes. "Like this?"

  "Uh, okay, wait." He comes behind me, his hands on my hips, and adjusts me slightly. "Like that.

  "Now what?" I stand there, trying not to wobble.

  "Now you're gonna lift your left foot and step in place. No, don't stomp." He's cracking up, and I start laughing too. "Step lightly, like this." He does a very sexy demonstration of what I'm supposed to do. Lord have mercy, those hips!

  "Now, bring your right foot back to the original position and do the same steps on the other side." Manny steps back and watches while I somehow remember the steps.

  "That's good, that's good! Okay, now we do it together." He grabs my hands and guides me backward. "Let me lead, Taryn. Just look at my feet, feel where I'm taking you, and listen to the music."

  Crap, I'm feeling where he's taking me, alright! But I try to loosen up and have fun. I step on his toes a few times and keep giggling, but Manny is patient with me.

  "Okay, now we're going to add a little slide here." He lets go of one hand and pulls me to the side. "Yeah, there you go. Feel that Cumbia, Taryn, let it fill you up!"

  And I am feeling it. Before I realize what he's doing, Manny has led us out to the dance floor proper, and we're cumbia-ing our asses off.

  Finally, I collapse in his arms, all sweaty.

  "I need a break!" I laugh.

  Manny grins and grabs my hand. "Me too. Come on. I'll take you to my special place."

  Special place??

  Manny's "special place" turns out to be this little tree house at the very back of his grandparent's property, in a wooded area. We can still hear the music and party going on but the sound is muted here.

  Manny helps me up into the wooden structure and I sit down on the dusty floor. It's not a very big space, just enough room for the two of us to lie down together. If we choose to.

  "Is this safe?" I put my palm against the tree trunk which the house is nestled against.

  Manny grins and stretches out beside me. "Sure, it is. My old man built it, it's still solid." He holds an arm out to me and I lay down beside him, my cheek on his chest and my hand on his ribs.

  "Where are your parents? I didn't see them."

  "They're in Mexico actually. My sister Rosa just had her first baby." He wraps himself around me and I scooch up a bit so my face is next to his.

  "I've had the most wonderful time tonight," I tell him. Reaching up I trace my finger along his jaw. I can feel the rough stubble coming in and wonder what he'd look like with a goatee?

  "By the way, what was that word your Aunt Sophia called me when we first got here? Amant or something?"

  Manny cracks up. "Amante. It means "lover"."

  I flush and smother a giggle. "Oh!" I snuggle into him, laying a leg over his and he runs his hand up my bare leg, caressing the back of my thigh.

  We lay there staring at one another and then I press my lips to his. He kisses me back; those slow Manny kisses are so different from the way other guys have kissed me. It's like he has all the time in the world. I love it.

  We break apart and go back to looking at one another. Finally, I ask the question that has been swirling around in my brain for the last two days.

  "Do you like me, Manny? I mean, like, really like me?"

  He raises an eyebrow at me. "Can't put anything past you, can I?"

  I ignore the sarcasm. "No, come on. I mean seriously. This isn't just about you scoring with me is it? Because, that's not what I want. I'm ready for someone to be serious about me and for me to be serious about them. I'm so sick of playing games with people."

  Manny raises himself up on his elbow. He's not smiling now. "Seriously? I'm fucking crazy about you, dummy. I kind of thought you would have picked up on that by now? You know, the way I've been kissing you and introducing you to my family and all that?"

  I sigh. "Yes, but you've also spent a lot of time yelling at me, and getting angry at me and making fun of me with your friends. So yeah, I don't exactly know for sure what is going on here. And I'd like to know, thank you."

  Manny's lips are twisting and I can tell he's trying not to laugh.

  I glare at him with narrowed eyes. "Don't laugh at me!"

  But he does laugh and then leans down and gives me a chaste kiss on my firmly closed mouth.

  "Listen. I'm sorry for all the times I was an ass. Truth is, I was like that because I was fighting with myself about my feelings for you. And I was jealous when you were with Patrick and then Ryan. " He raises his eyebrow again. "And Hayes."

  I can't look at him when he says that. I
sit up, cross legged and stare at my hands. Fuck, I want to tell him. But I can't tell him. I just can't. He'll hate me for sure if he knows what I did.

  Manny puts his hand on my knee cap, rubbing gently. "Something you should know about me. If we're going to start going out and stuff. Look at me."

  Damn, he's bossy! But I raise my eyes and look at him timidly. Crap, what's he going to tell me? It can't be worse than me sleeping with our teacher, can it?

  "I'm really old fashioned. I know it's lame and not considered cool or whatever, but that's how I am. I was raised to have values, especially when it comes to love and relationships. So, trust is very important to me. Once you lose my trust, well, there's no gettin' it back."

  I can't speak. My heart is in my stomach. Because I'm a thousand miles away from being trustworthy, or at least I was.

  "I had this girl, back in sophomore year. She didn't go to our school; she went to my church." Manny slides over and puts his head in my lap. I can't stop myself from stroking his thick dark hair.

  "We were like, really in love. Or as much as you can be at that age." He laughs softly.

  "What happened?" I whisper, twirling my fingers in his waves.

  "She cheated on me. There was this creep who also went to our church and I knew they were flirting with each other but I didn't think it was more than that. I asked her though, you know, if she was seeing him behind my back. She lied and said she wasn't. But she was. She had his baby last year."

  "Jeez! I'm so sorry, Manny!"

  He sits up, crosses his own legs and now we're facing one another and he's looking at me with his beautiful dark eyes, and they're wide and innocent looking, pleading.

  "I have to know, Taryn. For my own peace of mind. You and Hayes. What really happened between you two?"

  I can barely breathe. Oh my god, why is this happening? I have never wanted to tell someone the truth so bad in my whole life. At the same time, I've never wanted to lie more either.

  Just tell him. Maybe he'll understand. My little inner voice, the good one, is urging me to be honest.

  But the other voice, the one that continually gets me into trouble is screaming at me. Hell no, don't tell him! He'll dump you; he'll hate you, he'll be grossed out and never look at you again!

  I look back at my hands as Manny takes them in his, our fingers intertwined. He's waiting for my answer. And right now, I can only listen to the loudest voice in my head.

  "Nothing happened," I tell him. "He just flirted with me and every other girl in school, and we all flirted back. That was all."

  Manny visibly relaxes and then lies back down, pulling me with him. We curl into a tight embrace and he starts kissing me with a little more urgency this time.

  I kiss him back, pressing myself against his hardness and letting him know with my entire body that I'm his.

  It will be alright, whispers the voice of trouble. He'll never know.

  No one will.

  ◆◆◆

  "It's a little late in the year to be changing classes, Taryn."

  I look at Mrs. Hanson, my guidance counselor, as I sit in her office.

  "Yes, I know, but I'm just really not doing as well in the class as I'd like to. And I'd hate for my grade point average to dip below 4.0 because of it."

  Mrs. Hanson regards me silently with her chocolate brown eyes. She swings her chair back and forth slowly and folds her hands over her middle.

  "Is there some other problem?" Her eyebrow goes up. "With your teacher? Another student?"

  I shake my head quickly. "No, no ma'am. Everything is fine. It's just not a good fit." I keep my eyes wide and innocent. Boy, is she scrutinizing me!

  Her gaze slides away, to the side of the room, her brow furrowing slightly.

  "Well, it's strange."

  "Ma'am?" I'm trying to talk and hold my breath at the same time. I have to get the hell out of Michael's class. I can't take looking at him every day anymore, watching him flirt with Tracy and the other girls. It's torture.

  Mrs. Hanson shuffles some folders on her desk, checking something.

  "I've had two other girls who have Mr. Hayes for classes come in and make the same request. Just last week. And now you're here. Anything you want to tell me?"

  Two other girls?? Holy fuck.

  I force myself to keep my face calm and then shrug.

  "No, not really."

  Mrs. Hanson and I have a little stare off, and I wonder what the other girls told her. They couldn't have said anything; otherwise, Michael wouldn't still be here. Our little circle of silence.

  "Alright, then." Mrs. Hanson sighs and turns to her laptop, tapping away. "Well, at this late date, Taryn, the only place I can move you is Novels. You have all of your English credits, and you're actually over the requirement for graduation. So, this is just an extra for you."

  I nod. "Sure, Novels is fine, I love to read."

  She taps some more and then smiles at me. "Okay, you're now in Mr. Nile's first-hour Novels class. I hope it's a better...fit."

  Great. Mr. Niles is ten shades of weird and dresses all in black and looks like a vampire, but he'll do.

  "Thank you, Mrs. Hanson." I stand up, anxious to leave.

  "No problem. And Taryn?"

  I pause, my hand on the doorknob. "Yes?"

  "If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here."

  I can't look into her kind eyes, so I turn away. "Thanks!" Opening the door, I quickly make my escape.

  ◆◆◆

  Novels isn't too horrible, even though Mr. Niles is so strange. He has purple lips and jet-black hair and the palest face I've ever seen. I think he might have some disease or something. But he leaves me alone and lets me read so the class will work for me just fine.

  And another good part is that none of the snotty girls I now hate are in the class or any of the jocks. Novels is mostly full of quiet types and bandsies. It's a nice change from the usual.

  After first hour I leave the room and pause, seeing Manny and his group of friends gathered around his locker up ahead. I'd love to run up to him and kiss him, but I don't think I'll be welcomed. Manny and I texted most of the night before after he dropped me off after the party. I want to spend more time with him and have him hold me in his arms again and run my fingers through his gorgeous hair.

  But we didn't talk about how today would go. I didn't ask if I was allowed to walk up and see him, talk to him, hang out with him. With a sigh, I decide to leave him be and turn around to head to second hour. And I run right into Michael.

  "You dumped my class?" He has a little smile on his face, and I can't tell if he's mocking me or what. I try to go around him, but he stops me with his arm and curls it around my waist, pulling me to the side of the hall. "Tired of me?"

  "Leave me alone," I murmur, trying to leave again.

  He pushes me back and keeps his hand on my arm. "You are keeping your mouth shut, right, Taryn?" He's smiling, so it looks like he's just chatting with me to the other students milling around.

  "I haven't said a damn thing." I glare at him and wish he'd move his hand. Who the hell does he think he is?! "Let me go, or I'll make a scene."

  He laughs, putting his face closer to mine. "You'll make a scene?" His thumb moves in circles on my bare arm. I used to love how that felt when he would do that as we made love. Now it makes my skin crawl. "What are we, in a black and white movie? Listen..."

  I don't want to listen, but I can't move; he's standing so damn close to me. How can he not realize this doesn't look right? His standing there, touching me right in the hallway, with all these other people around is not a good idea.

  "I've been thinking," Michael is saying. "About giving you another chance."

  I stare at him. He cannot be serious. "What?"

  "We were good together, Taryn. I miss you. If you play your cards right and keep your mouth shut like a good girl, we can be together again. What do you say?"

  "You've done this with other girls, haven't you?" I look at h
im with disgust. "You're sick. You're like a predator!"

  "Predator!" He snorts with laughter. "I have not done anything to anyone who hasn't wanted it desperately. Besides, Taryn, you should be honored. You were the first. You were the one who unleashed the monster I've tried so hard to keep under control. You were my trigger. You and that paper you wrote."

  I want to throw up. I shove him away. "Stay away from me!"

  Rushing down the hall, I feel someone take my arm and turn around, my hand raised to strike.

  It's Manny, and he's staring down at me hard.

  "You want to tell me what I just witnessed between you and Hayes?"

  I wither under his icy glare.

  ◆◆◆

  "It's nothing," I say for the tenth time. We're sitting in Manny's car, having walked out of the school to "discuss" the matter of Mr. Hayes and myself.

  "If you tell me that one more time, I swear to God..." Manny shakes his head, his hand curled into a fist on the steering wheel. "He had his fucking hand on you, Taryn! And you're telling me nothing is going on between the two of you?"

  "There is nothing going on between us, Manny!" I yell. Because it's true, as of right now, nothing is going on, aside from Michael harassing me. "He was pissed off because I dumped his class."

  Manny gives me a sideways glare. "And why did you do that? You never said a word to me about doing that."

  "I wasn't aware I had to tell you everything I did!" I snap back. I'm feeling defensive, even if I have no right to be.

  We sit in angry silence for a long moment.

  "The guy's sick, he's a perv, I can tell," Manny says finally. "Has he messed with you? Because if he has, I'll fucking kill him."

  I have to calm him down before he goes off on a rampage. Manny killing Michael won't help anything.

  "Please, stop. I'm so tired of talking about him. We had such a nice day yesterday." I lay my hand on Manny's knee. "Can't we keep that going?"

  His jaw is working, grinding, and his lips are thinned, but as I rub his thigh, he starts to calm down, and then finally, he looks at me, taking my hand.

  "I don't want to go back in there," he tells me.

  "I don't either," I whisper back. Mom and Patrick are both at work, the house is empty. "Let's go to my place."

 

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