by Rinelle Grey
Lisa’s eyes gleamed with interest. “It does, does it? Well, that’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell anyone. Your secret’s safe with me. But if Taurian ever needs some help recovering when you’re not around, I’m more than happy to oblige.”
Karla opened her mouth to insist that wouldn’t be necessary, and then shut it again. Her heart sank as she realised that rejecting Lisa’s offer to sleep with Taurian if he needed it was stupid at this point. She couldn’t afford to sleep with Taurian again. Not unless she was prepared to really and truly commit to him. And given the trouble he seemed to attract, it was quite likely he’d need healing before she had a chance to decide if she was ready to make that commitment.
The idea sent a shiver up her spine. Could she handle watching him complete the Mesmer ritual with someone else? Or would she choose to mate with him herself, despite the implications. The second option was a bad idea, really it was, but she couldn’t convince herself it wasn’t what she’d choose.
Sleeping with him again was a permanent commitment. More permanent than any marriage ceremony. If she crossed that line, there was no going back. Ever.
If she crossed that line, she might as well kiss her career in England goodbye. Any career, probably. Because being the mate to a dragon prince would have more than enough responsibilities for anyone. That’s if they even lived very long, given his enemies.
There was nothing to recommend it at all.
Yet, it didn’t stop her being tempted. In fact, if Taurian had been here…
No, that was just the problem. The fact that she already felt this way about him made it twice as dangerous. Feelings like this couldn’t possibly last. She’d been in enough relationships to know that. Passion and obsession turned into comfort and familiarity. There was nothing wrong with that. But when the inevitable happened, you had to have something else to sustain you, some interests and passions outside of the relationship.
That was what she was at risk of losing. If she gave in to her desire for Taurian and gave up her job and her own passions, then what would she have left once things settled into comfort and familiarity?
A thought that a passion like the one she felt for Taurian could never cool tried to sneak its way into her mind. Karla resolutely pushed it away. Nothing that intense could possibly last forever. Could it?
“Karla, can I speak to you for a moment?” Taurian stuck his head in the room, and instantly Karla’s insides turned to mush, threatening her beliefs and resolve. She was glad she was already dressed, since he hadn’t even bothered to knock. Probably another thing dragons didn’t do. Like sleeping in beds. She bit back a snort.
“Go on, I’ll be fine,” Lisa said.
As if there was anything not to be fine about.
“Sure,” Karla agreed, and followed Taurian out of the door.
Once they were alone in the hallway, Taurian’s presence was suddenly overwhelming. His spicy scent filled her nostrils and made it hard to even think clearly. “What did you want?” she asked, needing something to focus on.
He didn’t say anything, but when she looked up, his golden eyes burned into hers. “I just needed to see you,” he admitted. “We haven’t had a chance to talk since, well, earlier, and I wanted to… to apologise.”
That surprised her. “What for?”
“For being angry up on the cliff. You were right, talking to Edtrima and getting that information from him was far more important than my need to kill him.”
Karla stared at him, but the words weren’t forced. He genuinely seemed to believe them.
Damn him. Now was not the time for him to decide to be perfect. She needed an excuse to dislike him, or at least distrust him. She needed a reason to stay away. One she could convince herself to listen to.
“I don’t think killing someone is the right choice if there’s any alternative,” she said quietly. “It’s not just about how it benefits you.”
Taurian’s expression was unreadable. “What about Ultrima?” he asked.
This was better. She could convince herself that she couldn’t accept his overly aggressive nature, couldn’t she? He had wanted to kill the other dragon for centuries. A word from her was not going to convince him otherwise. She couldn’t possibly condone that sort of violence... then again, Ultrima had been trying to kill him. She sighed. That wasn’t going to work.
She stared into his eyes and he stared back. Her heart kept doing little flip-flops, as though it wanted to keep her off balance and uncertain. Taurian seemed to actually want to hear her answer. Could a word from her stop him from killing the other dragon if the chance arose?
Did she have any right to interfere to that extent?
Did she want to?
“I don’t know,” she said. “And I likely won’t be around by that point. Once we find your clan, you’ll have no need of me.”
She meant the light comment to get her point across, to herself as much as to him.
The thundery expression on Taurian’s face showed he didn’t take it lightly at all. “We haven’t found them yet,” he said flatly.
“No,” Karla agreed.
“It could take a while for us to find them.”
“Yes,” Karla agreed. Despite her misgivings, despite the very real reasons why she shouldn’t, she couldn’t help feeling a little glad about that. It wasn’t that she was obsessed with being near Taurian, she assured herself, she just wasn’t quite ready to leave this adventure behind. That was all. She needed to at least know how it ended.
She didn’t even want to think about it ending.
“I’m glad you decided to stay at least until I find them,” Taurian’s words were soft, and despite knowing it was risky, Karla looked up into his eyes.
They locked onto hers, burning deep into her core, sending tendrils of desire shooting through every part of her body.
How had she ever thought this could fade? Or that she had any chance of resisting? She couldn’t even blame the intensity on the Mesmer bond. Not because a feeling like this wasn’t magical, the opposite in fact, but no magic could produce the strength of these feelings. The Mesmer bond had been intense, but it didn’t have this depth. That had been purely physical. Though there was a strong physical component to what she felt, it didn’t stop there. She wanted to be near him, to fill her eyes with the sight of him, and her ears with his voice, even when she knew she couldn’t risk sleeping with him.
For several long moments Taurian didn’t move. His eyes didn’t leave her face. Then without a sound, he lowered his lips to hers.
His kiss was light, a feather touch, and yet it set every nerve ending alight and left Karla aching with longing. She knew she should pull back, not give in to that small temptation when there was so much at stake, but the kiss seemed so light and innocent, she couldn't resist.
And intoxicating.
That was where the danger lay. She knew that. A kiss was hard enough to resist, but once his body pressed up against hers and the desire surged through her, she wouldn’t be able to pull back. She wouldn’t even be able to remember why she should.
She would return to her senses too late, when she was already bound to him for life. She couldn’t risk that.
Before the sweet lure of temptation could convince her otherwise, Karla put her hands against his chest. It was solid and firm, and her fingers itched to feel and stroke his skin.
She cut off those urges. She needed to stay strong. She needed to remember who she was and what she wanted in life, not to be seduced by the promises of temporary pleasure.
She pushed firmly against his chest and tore her lips from his. “No,” she said resolutely. “We can’t.”
Taurian’s eyes stared into hers. He didn’t move to kiss her again, but nor did he step back. “What if we did?”
His low voice sent a shiver up her spine. What if they did? Would it really be so bad, spending the rest of her life with Taurian? Loving him. Holding him. Kissing him. Sleeping with him.
Her body s
creamed that it would be perfect, and urged her to accept now, before he changed his mind. Even her mind whispered about the exciting life she’d lead as the mate to a dragon prince. The life of a fairy-tale.
That was just it. It was a fantasy. It couldn’t be reality. Not forever. It had to pale eventually.
“What if we did?” she challenged him. “What does that even mean? What happens if a dragon and human mate? Does the mating bond even work between dragons and humans?” For a moment, she had a rush of hope. Maybe being a human just might be to her advantage. If it weren’t for the mating bond, she’d have no issues sleeping with Taurian.
Taurian shook his head sadly. “Mating between a human and dragon is no different. The mating bond is just as strong.”
Karla heaved a sigh, any hope of an easy escape dying before it had ever taken breath.
Taurian continued. “My clan will have issues, probably, if they are still alive, but they will come to accept you, even love you, once they see what a strong princess you will be.” His voice sounded so sure, as though he’d already convinced himself.
Shock coursed through Karla. A princess? Taurian was a prince, so it made sense. She just hadn’t considered it until now.
Another reason not to mate with him. She so wasn’t princess material. His certainty about the fact that a human-dragon mating was just as strong piqued her curiosity though. “So humans and dragons have mated before then?” History was always a good distraction.
“Yes, before we left England. It wasn’t common, but it did happen on occasion.” Taurian’s hand caressed up and down her arm as he spoke. Karla tried to ignore the rhythmic motion. She especially tried to ignore how every stroke sent swirls of desire cascading through her body.
She tried to focus on all the other things she had to know, even though she couldn’t quite remember why she was asking. “What about kids then?”
Taurian’s eyes darkened. “Yes, we would be able to have children without any issues, Karla.”
An image popped into her mind unbidden—two little dark haired Taurian’s running around, a girl and a boy. Taurian laughing as he scooped them up and swooped around the room with them. Her heart constricted at the image that couldn’t be.
“Would they be dragons, or humans, or a mix?” She could imagine the problems if one was a dragon and one a human. That would incite the ultimate jealousy between siblings.
Taurian’s hand stilled on her arm. “Dragons always breed true. They would be dragons, no matter how many we had.” He stared deep into his eyes. “I would love to have children with you, Karla.”
The temptation was so great. Even though his hand didn’t move, she could still feel the craving flooding through her. Could feel the want overwhelming all rational thought.
She blinked. She’d been determined not to succumb to this. How had it happened anyway? She clenched her stomach, trying to halt the slow progression of desire.
“It doesn’t matter. If we rush into this then all that will happen is we will end up regretting it years from now. You are ready to cling to anyone to protect you from the loneliness of your clan being gone and I’m on the rebound from a long term relationship. That isn’t a good combination. If you were with your clan, would you even be considering mating with me?”
From the way Taurian’s eyes widened, she knew she’d hit on the truth.
And it hurt. She was right, she was just a fill in because there were no dragon mates available. Because he had a niggling fear that there never would be.
She grasped hold of the hurt and used it. “This isn’t the right thing for either of us,” she said. “So we need to remain strong against the temptation and avoid doing something we’re both going to regret.”
“If that’s the way you feel.” Taurian’s voice held a hint of sadness.
It was the way both of them felt, wasn’t it? Did Taurian not see that? Karla stared into his eyes, searching for an answer.
He stared back for a long moment, then his head bent towards hers again. Karla’s heartbeat speed up, and she was wondering if she had the willpower to push him away a second time when the phone rang in the living room.
It was such a normal sound, yet it set Karla’s already jangled nerves on edge. She wasn’t sure whether to be relieved about the interruption, or annoyed. It all depended whether it was a normal call, or something more.
Ultrima had already proved dragons knew how to use a phone.
“Karla?” Her father’s voice floated down the hall. “It’s for you.”
Karla’s heart skipped a beat.
“Are you expecting a call?” Taurian asked.
Karla just shook her head. Everyone who might call her would use her mobile. But at least wondering who it might be was better than wondering if she should let Taurian kiss her or not. So she took a deep breath, and headed into the living room to take the phone her father held out to her.
“Hello?”
“Karla, hi.” Since Karla was expecting a dragon, it took her a few moments to place the voice. Gretchen, her high school friend who now worked at the local library. “I wasn’t sure if you would have headed back to England by now or not,” she continued. “Glad you found something exciting enough to stay around for. I just thought I’d see if you wanted to catch up, like we talked about?”
Karla tried to make her brain kick back into normal gear. Tried to think of a nice, polite way to decline the offer. Drawing Gretchen into this mess wasn’t a good idea.
“Yeah, something has come up, but it’s not exactly a barrel of laughs. We might have to catch up another time.”
“Is everything okay? Maybe I could help you out with something?”
Her friend’s ready offer of assistance didn’t surprise Karla, but she couldn’t accept it. “Not really. This is something I need to do on my own.”
Karla expected her to guess that it had something to do with Bruce. Gretchen was one of the few people she’d mentioned the break up to when she’d run into her last week.
Instead Gretchen said, “I’m sure there’s something I could do. That’s what friends are for, isn’t it? They’re kind of like family. Or even a clan.”
The word made Karla freeze. Why was Gretchen talking about clans?
Could she possibly know about Taurian and the fact that they were searching for his clan? Karla could think of no other explanation for her choosing that specific word right now. It was too weird to be a coincidence, surely?
But if Gretchen knew the truth, then why wasn’t she just coming out and saying something? Karla tried hard to make her exhausted brain focus. She needed to figure out what was going on before she replied, without pausing too long in case anyone was overhearing the conversation.
That had to be why Gretchen was being so cryptic.
Did she think someone was listening in on her end, or Karla’s?
“Do you want to meet me at the library tomorrow?” Gretchen prodded. “We can catch up and have a chat.”
“I… uh… sure,” Karla stammered. Then she had to cover the phone as a huge yawn stretched her mouth. She was too tired to try to make sense of this now. She’d consider the implications more thoroughly in the morning when she could concentrate. “How does nine o’clock sound?”
Chapter 38
Taurian didn’t say much as Karla drove to the library to meet her friend. Karla had said she was sure that her friend knew something about his clan, but he really couldn’t see how. Unless a lot of things had changed while he’d been asleep, dragons stayed well away from humans.
Then again, they had sent a human to wake him.
It was pointless trying to guess whether Karla was right or not. He would find out soon enough when they arrived at the library. Anyway, wondering if Karla’s friend knew where his clan was wasn’t enough to distract him from the conversation he’d had with Karla in the hallway at her father’s house.
She’d claimed that if they mated, they’d both ended up regretting it.
He�
��d thought about that over and over again since last night. When she’d first said it, it had been like a claw to the stomach, and the pain hadn’t lessened much since then. He could understand her having reservations, he had a few himself. And she was right, if he’d woken with his clan, he wouldn’t be considering mating with a human.
But he was beginning to suspect that that would have been a major loss on his part. He was sure he would never regret mating with her. The way his body stirred whenever he looked at her told him that. He didn’t think that feeling would ever go away.
He wanted her. He needed her. Couldn’t she see that?
Didn’t she feel the same thing? A feeling this strong couldn’t be one sided, could it?
She’d seemed so sure though, and her voice, when she’d pushed him away, had been more angry than regretful.
That thought left a sour taste in his mouth. He wanted to prove to her that she would never regret being with him. But nothing could prove that other than time.
Time he wasn’t sure he had. He was more than willing to prove his dedication through persistence and wait as long as it took. Trouble was, he couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t disappear back to England. Especially if they found his clan. But if they didn’t find his clan, then they would be constantly chased by Ultrima. Taurian bit back a sigh. Why was nothing ever easy?
He tried to focus on the fact that the outing at least gave him a chance to spend some time with her without all the others around, but even that didn’t distract him. He wanted real time alone with her, not time visiting yet another human who he would have to hide his true feelings from.
At least they were going somewhere he knew. The library felt familiar as they pulled up in front of it. And the presence of other people would be useful if this turned out to be a trap. Meaning it probably wasn’t.
It wasn’t until the automatic library doors slid open that he smelled it. A definite scent of dragon. Taurian tried not to be obvious about sniffing the air as he inhaled the scent deeply.