by Cheryl Howe
It was funny how different they were, yet how often their lives had taken similar turns. Not for the first time, Nolan had the unsettling sensation that his and Jewel’s destinies were entwined. Bellamy had been only a thread, not the whole cloth.
Wayland cut the end of the thread with a dagger he pulled from his belt. “You’re done.” He stood and headed for the door with one last warning. “Don’t be hauling any buckets with that arm tonight. You’ve already lost too much blood.”
Odd, Nolan’s blood surged at the idea of what he would be doing for the rest of the night.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jewel reached for the pewter mug resting on the desk wedged against the bunk and forced a sip past her lips. After struggling to swallow, she groaned. Wayland’s tincture tasted worse than it smelled. The wretched mixture scalded her tongue and urged her to spit it out. Yet she badly wanted to sleep, and Wayland had promised the brew would do the trick. She would have rather drunk the pools of stale ale that formed under the taps at the Quail and Queen.
What a fool she had been to ever sneak on board Nolan’s ship. Or to fall in love with him.
He had broken his promise. He wasn’t coming. Though she shouldn’t be surprised, considering the state of their relationship, she had somehow convinced herself he’d put aside his restraint in light of her misery. Never before had he seemed less guarded than when comforting her on deck. Perhaps her desire and need for him had overshadowed her judgment. She’d revealed herself miserably to him, and perhaps he’d merely said what he must to calm her down and encourage her to go below. As usual, she’d been another problem someone had to solve.
She held her nose and forced down a large swallow of grog. Her face screwed up almost painfully in her effort to keep the vile concoction down. Knowing drinking it all would be impossible, she set the mug back on the desk, blew out the lantern and stretched out on the bed, hoping that what she had forced down would be enough to make her drowsy. Unblinking, she stared into the darkness.
The rain beat steadily on the deck above. Occasionally, she could hear the men shuffling, but mostly she heard the rain. She dared not close her eyes lest she see him. Her murdered foe. Just a boy. Why had she ever asked Harvey to teach her to fight? Better yet, why had her father ever come into her life at all, spurring her to ask to learn? In light of her current situation, her life at the Quail and Queen had been almost blissful. Right now, she’d give anything to be home, in her own bed.
Jewel thrashed to one side, and then the other. Everything seemed lost. Even her desire to believe in the good—some good—of Bellamy Leggett. Killing was what he had done on a regular basis. Certainly the ships he had attacked didn’t always give up without a fight. Why had the wrongness of such a life never occurred to her before?
The door to the cabin clicked quietly before its handle slowly turned. Jewel sat up abruptly, clutching the sheets to her chin. Even in the dark, she knew the tall, broad-shouldered shadow that crept into the cabin. He silently closed the door, and then leaned back on it.
“Nolan,” she whispered.
He hesitated. “I thought you might be asleep.”
She shook her head. A burning built behind her eyes, but she didn’t think she had any more tears to shed. “I couldn’t...” She swallowed her words, unwilling to express the horror of what she felt. She balled the sheets in her hands.
He sat on the bed, and his weight dipped the tick covering. She slid into his arms. “It’s all right. I’m here now,” he said. He seemed truly sympathetic, smoothing his hand down her back while pulling her against him.
Jewel meant to slip her arms around him, but his sharp intake of breath stopped her. She tried to pull away, to see his wound, but he held her to him. “Your arm. Let me see,” she said.
His palms moved over her back in soothing circles, erasing everything but her desire to lean more deeply into him. “It’s been taken care of. All’s well.”
She braced her hands on his chest, careful not to graze his arm again, and then slid her hands down his ribs and around his waist. His inhalation of breath sounded deeper, huskier than before. With her cheek pressed against his chest, she gorged on his scent. He smelled of rum and heat, spice and wind. She closed her eyes, relieved to find only the image of Nolan invading her mind. Her limbs grew heavy and hot, while her thoughts seemed to float above her. She leaned into Nolan, the only thing grounding her, and briefly wondered if Wayland’s concoction had finally started to take effect.
“I didn’t think you would come,” she whispered.
Nolan didn’t say anything, just held her tighter. With his free hand, he brushed the length of her unbound hair.
“Mmm, soft. I knew it would be,” he murmured.
His voice reverberated over the rain and the thump of his heart. The thick timbre of his words stirred Jewel’s senses with the same intensity as his physical nearness. Time slowed to the hazy density of a dream. She didn’t know if they sat entwined for minutes or forever. Wrapped in Nolan’s arms, feeling the beats of his heart as if it were her own, was all there ever was, all she ever wanted there to be. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Without thinking, she turned her face up to his, offering him her mouth. Her pulse counted out the moments he hesitated, first searching her face, and then staring at her with trancelike fascination. Then, slowly, as if he was pulled to her by a will that wasn’t his own, he pressed his mouth to hers.
Jewel had been kissed before, some stolen kisses, some invited, but this was like none of those. The heat from Nolan’s mouth flooded her senses, bringing on a shocking hunger for more. She parted her lips slightly. He brought his hands to her head, holding her in place while he moved his mouth over hers, tasting her in slow, languishing nips. She heard his breathing quicken, a low groan in the back of his throat, before he pulled her closer and slipped his tongue into her mouth.
He took control of her body and mind with that powerful, demanding kiss. The sheer force of his desire held her in place, waiting for his next command. When he slipped his hands down her back and guided her to sit between his parted thighs, she eagerly did as he directed. The heat from his body scorched her, but she leaned closer to the flame. Her nipples strained against the cotton of her gown and she pressed into his hard chest, bringing herself to an even more fevered pitch. Her action brought a groan from him as he tore his mouth from hers to slide wet kisses down the curve of her neck. She let her head fall back, giving him access to her tender skin.
His fumbling with the buttons of her nightdress captured her attention. She brushed his hands away and opened the garment to her navel. That she wanted him to kiss her breasts, touch her wherever he desired, was a given. Only the knowledge that she burned for him even lower, would let him go as far as he intended, sent out a shiver of warning to her brain.
Nolan parted the gown, dragging it off her shoulders until he exposed her to the waist. He stared briefly, before tasting her in a trail of liquid fire. As his kisses dipped lower, she ached with anticipation. She felt her heart race as she had heard his do earlier. The same blind urgency surged through her, and she arched her back to get closer to him. He kissed his way down to her breast and took her nipple into his mouth without hesitation. That wet heat weakened her with its unfathomable pleasure. She clutched his shoulders to stay upright, her head seeming too heavy to be held up by her neck.
His hands found the flesh of her backside, and she discovered her descent into ecstasy had just begun. He pressed her against the hard ridge between his legs and she knew exactly what that meant—even if she’d never been truly told. An answering heat surged through her. The awkward position hindered Jewel’s movement, so she managed to shift her weight to bring her knee to the outside of his thigh. Instinctively, she rubbed her moist sex fully against him, the unexpected intensity of that pleasure forcing her to gasp. In that moment, she knew why a woman could so easily succumb to a man’s will. Driven by lust so consuming she could do nothing but follow its lead, Jewel
longed for Nolan to take full possession of her body.
As if he sensed her total surrender, he efficiently rolled her onto her back. He settled between her thighs before she could orient herself to the new position. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and ground his fierce arousal into her desire’s wet center. Even with the buffer of their clothes, the shock of the contact, so much more intense with him in control, forced her to gasp for breath. But he was there, too, invading her mouth with his tongue, his taste. Her rapid heartbeat warned her she might faint if they didn’t slow down, but even breathing was less necessary than getting closer to Nolan.
He pressed again with his hips, creating a subtle rhythm her body instinctively recognized. She undulated beneath him. The arching of her pelvis sent lightning streaks crackling through her nerves. A rumble of thunder sounded, and she wasn’t sure if it was in her own head or outside. She slipped her hand beneath his hair to cup the back of his neck, deepening the kiss in an attempt to blur their edges. A desperate ache grew that only increased with each slight twist of his hips.
His hand followed the curve of her thigh, bunching her nightgown to her waist. Another warning sounded at his breach of the last of her defenses, but the heaviness of his cloth-covered legs brushing against her bare ones banished any hope of intervention. The worn leather of his boots and the wool of his breeches caressed her skin. Each new sensation shot ripples of pleasure across her. The need to touch his skin urged her to yank his shirt free. She caressed his back, all of him soft and hard at the same time. The muscles under his skin bunched and jumped in response to her grazing explorations.
Abruptly, he pulled away from her touch and sat up. She braced herself on her elbows to watch him fumble with the buttons on his breeches. She shivered with the realization of what he was about to do. She remembered the desperate pants and deep grunts she’d heard from a couple she’d stumbled upon in the storeroom at the Quail and Queen. Another cool shiver snaked across her hot skin. Her mind cleared somewhat, though her body still vibrated with need. A woman’s fear reared its rational voice, urging her to stop before it was too late.
She wasn’t sure if Nolan read her thoughts, or if he saw her slight shaking in the dark. He froze, staring down at her without blinking. Before she could speak, he braced his hands on the bunk, and then swung off her.
Jewel sat up and gathered the remnants of her nightgown. Nolan moved to the farthest corner of the small cabin, keeping his back to her.
“Nolan?” She pulled her knees against her body and clutched together her open gown.
He paced the length of the room like a howling wind caught in the masts. “Forgive me, Jewel.” His raw voice shook with an intensity she hadn’t heard before. She sagged with relief against the wall. Then she realized he was angry with her. Tension rolled off him and onto her like waves pounding a ship.
He strode to the desk and fumbled to light a lantern. In its flickering glow, his eyes looked wild and dangerous. Strands of hair hung over his shoulders where they had escaped their ribbon. His shirt was untucked, and a corner of his breeches hung open. He turned his fiery gaze on Jewel, raked her with it.
She involuntarily slunk back. Nolan wasn’t angry. He was furious. She clutched her gown until her knuckles turned white. With her other hand she rubbed her swollen lips, still wet from his kisses. She must appear frightful. Her body still quivered from his touch. Just thinking of it caused her an involuntary shudder. She lowered her gaze, suddenly feeling ashamed, though she was sure she had done nothing wrong.
“Did I hurt you? Tell me if I did,” he demanded.
“No. You didn’t hurt me.” She raised her gaze and saw his fists were clenched. He seemed on the verge of strangling someone, and since she was the only one in the vicinity, she feared it would be her.
“Then I scared you.” He lowered his head and pushed his fingers through his tangled hair. His ribbon came loose, but she doubted he noticed as it fluttered to the floor. “I don’t know what happened. Good God, I’m sorry.”
Jewel didn’t know what to say. What had she done to cause this change in him? She was too embarrassed to ask, but obviously she had committed a serious mistake. With all the bawdy talk she’d overheard at the Quail and Queen about what went on between a man and a woman, she hadn’t realized there was something a woman could do to offend a man enough to dim his lust.
“You didn’t scare me,” she said, unable to bear the silence. Nolan’s reaction must have something to do with a particular aversion to her.
He glanced up again, taking in her appearance with a quick sweep of his eyes. He shook his head, as if what he saw completely disgusted him. “I need to go.”
Jewel scooted to the end of the bunk, ready to block the door. The very idea of him abandoning her was unbearable. It would be worse than before he came. She swallowed her pride and found her voice. “Nolan,” she pleaded, “tell me what I’ve done. I swear it wasn’t intentional.”
He paused at the door but didn’t turn to look at her. “It wasn’t you, sweetheart. Go to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
“Don’t go. You promised.” She got up from the bed and walked toward him. “Tell me what I’ve done to offend you.”
“Nothing,” he ground out with such violence that she found it impossible to believe him. He took another deep breath, and then turned to face her. His scowl appeared as fierce as she’d ever seen it. “I can’t stay. I’ll make love to you if I stay.”
Jewel laughed, releasing a tight ball of tension. “That’s what I want.” Once the words were spoken, she realized that only the joining of their bodies had any hope of curing the intense longing she’d developed for Nolan over these past weeks—and she feared even that might not be enough.
Nolan splayed his hands against the solid wood of the door as if holding back an awaiting army. His chest heaved with each breath. “You’re vulnerable right now. You don’t know what you want.”
She reached for him, placed her palms firmly on his chest. “I want you.” She fanned her hands, exploring the hard muscles in his chest, the shape of his ribs. His reaction encouraged her. His eyelids grew heavier as he stared down, mesmerized by the movement of her hands. It was as if his whole being were connected to the point where they touched. Just the warmth of him, the feel of his solid body, brought back the comfort and pleasure they had shared a moment ago. Jewel forgot her earlier twinge of fear in her desperation to return to the mindlessness of their mutual lust. To do that, she’d use every instinct, every rumor, and every innuendo she had ever heard to take him with her.
She veered her exploration lower. She dipped her hands underneath his shirt and around his loose waistband. No matter his words, nothing had cooled in him. His skin was as hot as it had been before, maybe even hotter. Stretched taut over his hipbones, it sent sparks through her caressing fingertips and pulsed heat through her body.
He leaned his head against the door, and she sensed his resistance melting. She slid her hand lower. The coarse hair curling just below the smoothness of his taut belly gave her pause, but only briefly. She slipped her fingers through those crisp curls, marveling at how different they felt. Nolan’s breath encouraged her in heavy gusts against her hair.
Her fascination lured her on, not courage. Wayland’s suggestion had seemed insulting only a few days earlier. Now touching him seemed a natural continuation of their first kiss. Jewel’s fingertips found the source of his fierce heat, and a mere brush of his erection caused Nolan to jolt. He kept his hands at his sides, but he appeared anything but relaxed. Jewel glanced at his face. His head tilted back and his eyes remained tightly closed. She measured the length of his sex with her palm, wrapping her fingers around him when she slid back up. Hot liquid formed at the flared tip. She rubbed her palm across his cock’s swollen head and let the moisture coat her hand. Her heartbeat pounded in her throat. A damp, consuming heat pooled between her legs.
She wrapped her fingers around him tighter, knowing without k
nowing that touching him this way was right. She closed her eyes and moved her hand up, and then down, following a rhythm as instinctive as breathing. She ached, longing to match the movements with her hips.
Unable to reach his lips to join their mouths, she lifted his shirt with her free hand and kissed the center of his chest. The salty taste of his hot skin increased her need for more of him. She turned her head to the right and found his nipple. He rewarded her boldness with a strangled moan. She flicked her tongue across it, teasing him with her mouth as he had her.
He grabbed her wrist that disappeared down the front of his breeches. He squeezed so tightly, she gasped at the pressure.
“Stop. Please, Jewel,” he gritted out between his teeth. She gazed at his face, taken aback by the dazed glow in his eyes. Though his features strained as if he were in pain, she could tell he didn’t want her to stop—far from it. A small smile tugged at her lips. Wayland was right. She stroked Nolan again and wasn’t surprised when he loosened his grip on her wrist, almost guiding her movements. His subtle coaxing changed her rhythm and concentrated her touch. His head fell back again. He bit his lip and his brows drew together.
“Lay with me,” she whispered.
With those three simple words, he came into motion. He lifted her in his arms, carried her to the bunk and deposited her with more urgency than gentleness. He fell down on his knees between her thighs. Without encouragement, her nightdress conveniently worked its way up to her waist. In the soft glow of the lantern, she felt horribly exposed. At least when she had touched him, she couldn’t see her hand wrapped around him; she could only feel him.