“I did it for you,” he answered.
“Bullshit, you did it for you. You didn’t want your name tarnished. It didn’t matter that I loved him. You didn’t do this for me. You are a sick son of a bitch and I want nothing to do with you. Get the hell out of my house!” I kept my voice level but forceful.
“How dare you speak to your father like that, young lady,” my mother finally says.
“Ahh, she speaks. Tell me, dear mother, what is your roll in this little game?” I asked. She tossed a rolled up magazine at me. I unrolled it and felt my world explode. There I was on the cover with Elijah, with a small photo of Aaron inserted and his paternity being questioned. What have I done? How did everything turn to shit? I left Elijah in Vegas for many reasons. I needed to confront my parents on my own. I needed to figure things out with Charlie. I needed to sort out the intense feelings I felt for Elijah. Unlike him, I didn’t have memories of us, only feelings, and they were scary.
“Shit,” was all I managed to say.
“Is that all you have to say for yourself? You have dragged this family’s name through the dirt, Kendra.” My brain was reeling. My heart was breaking. My gut was turning, and the sound of my mother’s condescending voice pushed me over an invisible ledge.
“I don’t give two fucks about this family’s name. That’s all both of you care about isn’t it? It doesn’t matter that you took away my right to choose the life I wanted to lead. You faked my death, gave me a new identity and a new boyfriend whom you could approve of. You whored me out all for the sake of the family name! Did you really think it would work? Did you really think I would never remember?” I felt warm tears creep out from the corners of my eyes and slide down my cheeks. I wiped the traitorous tears away. I was fuming pissed and didn’t want to cry. I couldn’t appear weak in front of my parents.
“My entire life is a lie. It’s make-believe. Now I have to dig through the rubble of the mess you created and try to rebuild my life. Fuck your family name! Now I have to explain Aaron to Elijah, and I have to explain Elijah to Aaron. They missed the first ten years of each other’s lives because of this family’s name. I cannot forgive this. Now, for the last time, get out of my house.” I kept my voice steady and in control. I stood my ground firmly and with strength even though I was trembling inside.
“Charlie, please talk some sense into my naïve daughter. Help her to understand that what we did was for the best,” my father said to Charlie, sounding in complete control and not caring that I told him to leave. Regardless of the strong stance I attempted to take, he didn’t take me seriously. He never would. I was a silly girl who couldn’t make proper decisions; therefore he made them for me. In his head he would continue making them for me. I was beginning to hate my father. I was shaking all over with fear, confusion and anger. It was getting harder to hide my fury and appear in control.
“I think this is enough for tonight, Mr. Miller,” Charlie tried in his best diplomatic voice. My father chuckled, and it was an evil sound.
“Are you aware that your fiancé was in on all of this? You’re right, we handpicked a suitable husband for you, and he had no problem going along with it. His protecting you is all a sham too, Kendra.” He was just being nasty now, and I was done with his shitty games.
“Daddy, my name is Chinda and this is Charlie, my best friend. He told me everything. We have no secrets. Now, I will not tell you again to get the fuck out of my house. Leave now or I’ll call the police.”
“Very well, we will let this rest for tonight but this conversation is not over, Kendra,” he said to me sounding as though he were scolding a twelve year old. “Come dear.” He looked to my mother, nodding for her to follow and as usual my mother fell in line behind him, following like a lost puppy dog. I’d always known she did as my father instructed at all times but to finally see it was sad and pathetic. Charlie and I followed them to the door and when my father opened it he heard, “Hello, Mr. Miller. Fancy meeting you here.” Then bam my father’s nose exploded and chaos ensued.
Chapter Eleven
Elijah
On my way to Florida, I’d had a lot of time to think about what I was going to say and do when I saw her, when I saw my son. I’d reasoned that it wasn’t her fault. She’d lost that part of her life after all. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t her fault, but I couldn’t help the anger I felt. I just didn’t know who to direct the anger towards. Chinda? Her parents? The media? God? I didn’t know. I just knew that I had a son out there and time with him had been stolen from me.
When I pulled into the long driveway that wound its way to a large house, I still didn’t know exactly what I’d say to her. Figured I’d wing it. There were a few cars in the turn around and I wondered if she had company. The thought of her entertaining people, having a party, laughing, drinking, being normal made my blood boil. I parked hastily, leaving the keys in the ignition. I nearly ran to the door and was ready to knock when it flew open. There he was. The devil in an expensive suit. Standing right there was Henry Miller, the man who’d taken everything from me.
I didn’t think I just reacted. The look on his face when our eyes locked just pissed me off even more. It was almost a smile. He was telling me he’d won, without saying the words. I had news for the old bastard. “Hello, Mr. Miller,” I said quietly before my fist connected with his nose, causing blood to burst from his face and his body to bend over at the waist in pain. His wife, the ever dutiful Mrs. Miller gasped in horror and tried to help her shitty husband. I looked over the pathetic piece of shit and saw her. She was watching me in wonder, not horror. She was surprised but she didn’t look angry at me for punching her father.
“Hey, Chinda. Hope you don’t mind me calling you that. You’re just not a Kendra,” I said.
“Kendra, get your father a towel! He’s bleeding everywhere,” her mother screamed.
“My name is Chinda. I think we already established that. As far as his nose, go home and clean it up. You’re no longer welcome here.” She was angry, and I liked it. I saw fury flash across her eyes, and her skin was tinted red. I saw her fists balled at her sides and wanted so badly to pull her into my arms. Tell her everything would be okay. Then I saw him, her fiancé. He stood beside her, his hand on her lower back in a show of support. Every fiber in my body wanted to knock him the fuck out, but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure how Chinda would react to that. Her parents made it to their car and had started to pull away before we spoke again.
“So, this must be the fantastic Charlie. The idiot that loves you so much he sent you traipsing across the country chasing around a rock star. Nice to meet you, Charlie, I’m that rock star.” I reached my hand to him and could hear sarcasm and hatred dripping in my voice. He was handsome enough and clearly from money. They were a showpiece for their parents. I could never be that guy. We’d never get the same respective glances when we entered some fancy gala or the country club. No, people would look at us strangely, of that I was sure.
I didn’t matter though. Chinda was my girl. She’s always been my girl. This douche bag thought he was better for my girl than me. He was just as bad as her parents as far as I was concerned. The thought of her parents pulled me back. I was there for a reason.
“Elijah, I can explain,” she began.
“I’m all ears,” I responded trying to regain my temper and composure.
“Please, come inside.” She stood to the side to allow me in. Charlie still stood close to her, but he wasn’t touching her anymore. I relaxed a little, pushing my jealousy deep down inside me. Up close, and in different light, he was actually a very pretty man, almost too pretty. His green eyes were lined with thick lashes, and his hair was perfectly combed. He was feminine almost. “I’m going to head upstairs. Let me know if you need anything,” he said and kissed her cheek before turning to me. “It’s nice to finally meet the man who’s been invading her dreams for years,” he said to me before disappearing up the enormous staircase.
For the first time sinc
e my arrival, I noticed how large her home was. It was cliché almost. The entryway boasted tall ceilings and a sweeping staircase. There were rooms off either side of us and behind the staircase.
“Come on, Elijah. We have things to talk about.” She walked away from me, and I followed.
“Yeah, you think?” I called after her.
I followed her deeper into the oversized house. I could see the anger rolling off her body while she walked. Her body was held rigid and her hands never unclenched. Her shoulders were squared, and her head held high. I could only guess what had happened between her and her parents, and I was sure that me punching her dad didn't make her happy. I didn't care though. Like her, I was pissed off and ready for a fight. I had some questions that needed answers, mainly, where was my son and why the hell didn’t she tell me about him?
She led me to a dark room that remained dim even when she flipped a switch. The walls were lined with dark mahogany bookshelves that were stuffed full of books. Chinda loved books. I guess Kendra loved them too. She hadn't forgotten that part of herself. She walked directly to a small bar where she poured two shots of amber colored liquor. She handed me a shot and looked pointedly at me before throwing hers back. I followed suit but choked and coughed a little which was embarrassing. She'd done it like a champ.
“Why are you here?” she asked me, and I could hear deep irritation in her voice. For some reason, this pissed me off even more. I didn't think, given the circumstances, that she had a right to be pissed at me.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Chinda? You know exactly why I'm here!”
“You think he's your son?” She got straight to the point. I could see her resolve to fight me falter. For just a second I saw something else there. Fear? Confusion? Longing?
“I know he's my son,” I replied evenly.
“How? Maybe I was a whore back then. He could be anyone's son,” she spat and I saw it, betrayal. She'd confronted her parents. That's what they were doing there. That's why she was so angry when I arrived. She confronted them, and they were honest. She may not remember, but she knew the truth. The look on her face stabbed me through the heart. The pain I felt for her was sharp and intense. The hatred I harbored towards her parents was overwhelming. The tension in the room between her and me was so thick. Nearly suffocating.
She just stood there, watching me, daring me to come back at her. Needing me to tell her how wrong she was. She needed me to reassure her that all I'd told her about us was true. She was, is, the love of my life and I'm hers. I did the only thing I knew to prove to her how I felt. The only way I could make her feel it, not hear, but feel. I quickly closed the gap between us, grabbed her face between my hands and kissed her. Her mouth relaxed against mine, and her lips parted allowing me to taste her. I felt her arms wrap around my waist, her hands snake up my back. My fingers tangled through her hair.
She snuggled her body closer to mine, and I wondered if I could get any closer. I could. I released her head and moved to the hem of her shirt. I hooked my fingers under the shirt, pulled it swiftly over her head, and then pulled away enough to remove my own shirt. “I want you to feel my skin on your skin,” I whispered before taking her mouth with mine again. My hands worked to find the waist of her pants and thanked God she was wearing jeans. I slid the pants down her body and gasped when I felt the bare skin of her ass against my hand. “No panties. Jesus, woman.” She didn’t speak, just stood there, allowing me to show her my love. I pulled my own pants off and watched her undo her bra and let it fall to the floor. Seconds later, she was back in my arms, completely naked and bared to me.
I let my hands roam her body, wanting to feel every inch of her soft skin. Her hands held me tightly to her with a force I doubt she knew she had. I pulled away to look at her and saw the tears in her eyes.
“Baby, let me show you what you mean to me. What you've always meant to me.”
“Elijah, make me remember. Please. I want to remember you. Us.” Her tears fell freely, and I felt my own begin their threatening descent down my face. She'd just shattered my heart with that one request. Make her remember. Fuck, I wanted her to remember so badly. It killed me that she didn't remember everything that we shared, but she remembered enough.
“Baby, you do remember. You came to me. You left your life and came to find me. Your heart still loves me. It remembers, baby. We just have to help that pretty little mind of yours catch up.” I kissed her tears.
“I need you so badly, Elijah.” She kissed me again, trying to take control.
“Uh, uh. I am in control of this,” I said, grabbing her ass and lifting her up against me. I walked us to the couch in the corner and laid her on it. “You're so breathtaking. I love your body. Every inch of your body has always taken my breath away.” I kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose then her mouth lightly. I moved down her chin to her neck, collarbone then breasts. I moaned loudly as I took one nipple in my mouth and held the other in my hand. Her body arched towards mine, needing me.
“You did that the first time, Chinda, but you were more subtle. A small arch. A quiet moan. But you needed me then too.” I worked my way down her body. “We used to watch movies together, and I'd lay my head on your belly. My face was always so close to the one place I had wet dreams about entering but we waited.” I kissed her belly button then her hip bones. I skimmed over her sex and moved towards her thighs, working my way down until I was sitting up at the opposite end of the couch, looking at her.
“I was so nervous back then. Inexperienced, but the need hasn't changed. I still need you as much as I did the first time we made love. The only time we made love before I lost you.” Her eyes widened.
“We were only together one time?” Her breathing was ragged making the words barely audible.
“One night. Prom night. The night I lost you was the first night I made love to you. It was the best night of my life, Chinda. I kissed you like this.” I leaned over her and kissed her softly like I had that night.
“I was a scared boy and you were so beautiful. I was clumsy.” I rolled her breast into my hand, roughly as I'd done that night. I let my cock touch the entrance of her vagina and shuddered when I felt the warm wetness waiting for me.
“We made our son that night, Chinda. We didn't know it but we made magic that night.” I entered her slowly and heard her breath catch. I looked in her eyes and saw longing there. I moved slowly, almost not moving at all, just feeling her. All of her and letting her feel me. I rested my forehead on hers.
“I have missed the hell out of you. You were dead, gone. I tried to move on. I tried but it didn't matter how many women I was with. It didn't matter how drunk or high I got, I still always felt you. Nothing numbed it. Nothing made you go away and now I know why, you were never gone. Our souls are connected. You and me, it's always been you and me.” I stilled completely inside her.
“I've been dreaming of you for years. Before I heard your music or saw you on TV, I dreamt of you. I didn't understand though. It was scary. When I first heard your voice, my heart stopped but when I saw you, when I recognized you from my dreams, my world stopped spinning. I couldn't function normally. I had to find you. It was crazy, but I had to try.”
We were both fully crying. Any ounce of masculinity I had and reservations about crying were long gone. We kissed again and I began to move in and out of her faster. I slammed into her over and over while she cried my name over and over. “I remember, Elijah!” She screamed as we both came.
My body slowed. I lay there, motionless, scared to move. Scared that if I looked at her she'd change her mind. Take the words back. I felt her chest moving beneath me. Her breaths were coming quickly, and then I heard her laugh. I gathered courage to lift up off of her and look into her eyes. She was laughing and crying at the same time. I sat up and she sat with me, both naked and exposed.
“What did you say?” I asked carefully.
“You heard me, Elijah. I remember. I remember all of it!” She said excite
dly.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. We met at the dance because my parents couldn't know that I was going with you. I wore a red dress that you loved by the way, and you were so handsome with your messy hair and black tux. We left early and drove to that spot above Portland. That's where were made love and it was perfect, Elijah. I remember it all. I remember Elsie and your parents. I remember!” She said again, unable to hide her excitement. She crawled into my lap and kissed me again and again and I joined her excitement. We were kissing, laughing and crying.
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