by Rachel Burns
As quietly as I could manage, I let myself out of the door and closed it again. I locked the door to keep him inside and hid the key on the doorframe.
I thought that was fair of me. I didn’t want to steal anything from him. I had to take the clothes that I was wearing because he burnt mine. That was only fair
I ran along the road until I got a pain in my side. I wasn’t much of an athlete to begin with, but this past week with him had kept me in a small radius. I walked on swiftly, holding onto my aching side as I walked.
It was cold out. I needed to sit down and take a break, but I needed to keep moving to stay warm. This wasn’t working out like I’d planned it would.
How long was this road?
I must have been walking for two hours already. I was still on the dirt road, and I hadn’t seen any signs of life other than the birds flying overhead.
They were singing, and it sounded like they were laughing at me. If they weren’t laughing, then it was clear that they were discussing what I was doing out here. Some sounded like they were scolding me.
Did Daddy have a bird feeder out for them? They were clearly on his side and not mine.
I continued on as my legs began to ache, and my tummy began to rumble.
Why hadn’t I popped into the kitchen and gotten something to eat. Daddy kept the refrigerator full. I pictured myself opening it and helping myself to what he had in there. He was a great cook.
Daddy knew what he was doing in the kitchen. He made everything from scratch. I once asked him why he always cooked fresh.
We certainly didn’t at my house, especially not in the colder months. Oranges were the only things that we prepared and ate fresh.
Daddy told me it was healthier to cook from scratch.
I told him about a couple of my favorite boxed-meals. Of course, I added fresh hamburger meat to them.
Daddy told me that he’d tried them when they came out, and that he didn’t care for them.
That made me laugh. I pointed out that he’d made it sound like he’d been living back then.
He’d been upset that I said that.
Carefully, I’d asked him how old he was.
He’d given me a fake smile that told me to stop asking questions before he answered that he was old enough to be my Daddy, and that I shouldn’t forget that.
His age was something that he was very sensitive about.
When I thought that my legs would fall off because they were so tired, I decided that I needed to rest. I saw a pile of logs. I decided that I could sit on them for a moment. If I heard Daddy drive by, I could hide from him behind the logs.
I sat down and sighed. It felt good to stop walking. My shoes were too tight.
“Here.” Someone touched my shoulder.
I gasped. Daddy was standing beside me, shaking his head in disappointment at me. He had a bottle of water in one hand and a backpack in the other.
“I should have let you go for a few more hours, but this is my busiest season. I have a lot to do. This was very inconsiderate of you.”
“Inconsiderate?” I repeated, letting him know that I was surprised that he had the nerve to choose that word. I was mad and frustrated that he had followed me. “You kidnapped me. You can’t do that and then expect someone to love you and want to be by your side.”
“Britney, you’re already going to get a major spanking. Don’t make it worse.”
“Worse? How could things get worse? You took me without permission. That’s stealing. If you take a person without permission, that’s kidnapping, which is illegal,” I pointed out.
“You’ll get a spanking that is a lot worse than the one you got the first day.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to go home to my family.”
“Britney, your family ignores you. They aren’t even looking for you. They think you ran away, and they’re okay with that. You won’t be seeing your face on a milk carton,” he told me, impatiently. “Drink,” he nudged me with the water bottle again.
It was easy to believe that my parents thought that I had run away. They knew that I was too quiet and unhappy with them. I never complained. They could have reacted differently and tried to tell me that they loved me, but they never bothered. Like with the cake, they cared more about others than about me. They didn’t even know me. The sad thing was that they didn’t think it was worth their time to get to know me. Their jobs were more important to them.
“I don’t need your water. I’m sure I can find something in the woods,” I informed him and shifted so I was turned away from him.
“I’m going to give you the spanking of a lifetime for saying that.” His hands balled into fists, and he looked like a bully did at the playground directly before he beats up the little kid with glasses.
“Fine. If you insist, I’ll drink your water before I leave.” I took the bottle away from him, ignoring his smirk. I twisted off the lid. The water was still cold, and the bottle tasted like him. He’d taken a sip somewhere along the way.
Daddy sat down beside me. He was ruffling through his backpack.
“What’s your real name?” I asked him.
He laid a sandwich on my lap. It was wrapped up in brown paper. So he was one of those ecological people, I thought.
“Why do you want to know, so you can report me to the police?” He grinned, thinking that he was hilarious.
“Yes,” I answered him, deadpan.
“You don’t need to know. I’d give you quite a lickin’ if you used my given name.”
“Why?” I asked him confused. I doubted that he would spank me for running away. Who would give someone water and food and have a conversation with them before they spanked them?
“I’m your daddy. That means that we are special to one another. We’re more than other couples are. We’re closer,” he explained.
“Yes, but other couples choose each other, and they can leave if they want to.” I wanted him to understand that I wasn’t a bad person, and that I didn’t hate him, but there were rules about dating and marriage.
“Britney, nowadays folks think that love and even marriage is something that comes and goes. I know that love is eternal. I’ve lost people that I’ve loved, and it still hurts me because I can’t see them and talk to them when I want to.”
“Nowadays? You can’t be that much older than I am. Why do you talk like an old grandpa, sitting in a rocking chair,” I demanded.
“You sure are cantankerous today,” he stated. “Maybe we need to switch sides of the bed,” he suggested.
“Cantankerous? Me? I’m not cantankerous. I’m indignant. There’s a huge difference. Besides, we shouldn’t even be in one bed. We’re not married.” I was getting very exasperated with him.
“Have you ever heard of handfasting?” he asked me.
“Yes, I have. I happen to be an avid reader.” I sat up a little straighter. I didn’t want to play along and pretend to be a child anymore.
He gave me a look as if he knew exactly what sort of books I liked to read before he replied. “I see us as being handfasted. If you want a real ceremony, my Ma can perform one when they visit us on Christmas.”
“No, thank you.”
“Would you rather a preacher joined us?”
“I’d rather not be joined.” When I saw that my words had hurt his feelings, I backed down a little. “I’m only eighteen,” I explained.
His face brightened up immediately. “Eighteen is more than old enough. In my day, a girl was a spinster if she wasn’t married by the time she was seventeen.”
“In your day?” I repeated. “What are you talking about?” He was driving me nuts.
“Forget I said that. What’s important is that you are the perfect age to get married.” He laid his hand on my shoulder.
“I think I should be able to decide that for myself.” I shrugged off his hand.
He gave me a look of pity.
I stood up and walked back to the path with my water and sandwi
ch in my hands. There was no point discussing this with a crazy person.
I spotted a horse standing by a tree. It looked at me with modest curiosity, as if I weren’t important enough for him to get a good look at me. I turned away from the horse slightly offended and continued on my way.
“You’re going the wrong way, Britney,” Daddy called after me.
“No, I’m not.” I snuggled into his warm coat, slipping my arms in and balancing my water and sandwich. This coat could be evidence for the police. It must be filled with his DNA.
“Britney, I’m not going to let you go. Like I said, I don’t have time to let you discover for yourself that the woods aren’t a safe place to be.”
“It sounds like you’re worried. I must be close.” I looked back at him and saw that he had a rifle in his hand.
My jaw dropped. I didn’t think that he would kill me. Was it already too late to talk him out of it? Again in life, I wasn’t strong.
I had wanted to die with dignity. Instead, I became a blubbering mess. I begged him to spare me, promising that I would go back with him and never run away again.
“I’m not going to kill you. I brought this along as protection. In case, something tried to attack you. You don’t have to fear me as long as you are good for me. When you aren’t good, the only thing you have to fear is a sound spanking.”
“I don’t like those. I just want to go home,” I said. Desperation could clearly be heard in my voice. I wiped my tears away and walked on again. I had no reason to stay with him.
“Your home is in the other direction, Britney.” He sounded exasperated.
“My home is in Florida,” I replied.
“It used to be, but you weren’t happy there, so I brought you here. You’re happy with me. I know you are. Now, stop being so stubborn so we can go home and get some work down. I’ll spank you, and then we can go on with our day.”
“Really? Those are the words you choose to get me to go with you? As tempting as that sounds, no.” I whip my head around and continued to walk.
“The thing about a spanking is that I decide when you get one and where. You obviously believe that someone might come along. Would you like to have your spanking here or at home?”
I turned around so I was walking backwards, still moving away from him. “Do you know what I think?”
“Clearly, no, I don’t, or we wouldn’t be here. I would have woken up earlier and put a stop to this nonsense before it could have started. You would have only gotten a light spanking, like the day you arrived here, and we could have gone on with our day. Then this evening we would have made love, and you would have gotten over your fear of it. Or do you fear it because you liked it? How would I know? I certainly don’t understand women.”
I could see that he was exasperated with me. That was his problem not mine. He wouldn’t be exasperated with me if he had never kidnapped me.
“I think the reason you want me to turn around is because I’m almost at a city or farmhouse where I can get help.” I lifted my chin up, letting him know that he couldn’t fool me.
“Blasted,” he cursed. “I don’t have time for this. Britney, I’m going to lay it out straight. We can walk on for another half hour. At that time, you’ll be able to look over the whole ridge. You’ll see for yourself that we aren’t close to anything. Or we can turn around and go back now. I know your legs are already sore.”
So I was right. I must be close to civilization. I turn around and picked up my pace.
“That’s an extra hour walking,” he said in a tone that told me that he thought my decision was silly.
“No, it isn’t, because I’m not going back. I will keep walking until I do find someone who can help me.”
“Help you with what?” he snickered.
“My freedom,” I answered. “I can’t stay with someone who won’t let me come and go as I please.”
“Come and go as you please?” he repeated in disbelief. “You’re a girl. Girls can’t be coming and going. They stay at home where they belong.”
“I was at home where I belonged, and then this crazy guy kidnapped me in the middle of the night right out of my bed.”
“You’re pushing it, Britney.”
“Am I? By stating a fact?” I questioned him. “Did you or did you not come into my bedroom at my parents’ house and drug me and steal me out of my bed?”
“I rescued you,” he corrected me, sharply.
“Tell that to the police. I’m sure they have a nice psychologist there who would love to figure out the workings of your mind.”
“This is your last chance. Either we turn around now, or I’ll spank you each time you complain about your feet on the way back.”
That was an odd threat. It made me pause for a second because he sounded so certain.
“I’m not turning back. I’m going to continue until I can find someone who will help me get away from you.”
“Britney, once we get to the ridge, I won’t make fun of you when you want to turn around,” he promised.
I felt like a child whose parent was trying to use reverse psychology on them. I was confused, but I still smelt a rat. “Why is this all such a game to you?” I asked him.
“It isn’t. But I clearly see that this is something that we need to get over with. You have to see it for yourself to believe it. I can understand that. The timing is just bad. I have several orders that I need to fill. I know you don’t want a little girl to be disappointed on Christmas morning.”
He was using some sort of mind trick on me again, reminding me that my life at home hadn’t been all roses.
The thing was, I was almost out of the house. I’d applied to colleges all over the country. I wanted to get away, but I should have gotten a chance to get my own ducks in a row.
I didn’t have time to waste with a man whose future wasn’t certain. If I had no education, and he got arrested, I would have wasted years of my life that I could never get back. I’d be doomed to working at some low paying job and then be forced to marry whoever would have me.
That wasn’t the type of life I wanted.
I’d dreamt of becoming a lawyer. I wanted to fight for right and wrong, but I also wanted to make a lot of money. My goal had been to become the type of woman who is at ease with herself because she knows she’s good at what she does. I wanted other people to be impressed with me.
Instead of being a competent adult, I’d been turned into a little girl.
He’d stop talking, but I could hear gravel crushing under his feet. He was behind me as I walked, following me. I could also hear the horse following him. We formed a little parade.
We walked on in complete silence. The stillness was so loud, and my heart was thumping in my chest. I feared that he was right.
My feet were sore, and I wanted this to be over with so badly.
He had his horse with him. Why didn’t he scoop me up and ride back to his house? That would be the fastest way to get me back into his basement. I worried that this really was pointless.
I peeked back at him several times. Still, he said nothing. His piece had been spoken. In his opinion, I was a naughty little girl who was ruining other little girls’ Christmases and being a terrible inconvenience for her daddy.
Why would a guy his age want to play a game like that? It didn’t make sense. Most guys my age wanted to be older. They wanted their own car, and they wanted to have a lot of money and be treated like an adult. They wanted a hot sexy girlfriend.
I looked down at my dress. It was a long red one like on a Victorian Christmas card. The only thing missing was the corset underneath and the huge hat with the enormous fuzzy feather on it.
My mind drifted as I wondered what kind of bird had a feather like that. Perhaps it was so large that it was locked up for the protection of humans. Kept only so humans could harvest the huge fluffy feathers.
Daddy took hold of my arm, and I stopped dead in my tracks. My jaw dropped. I was standing on the edge of a large ca
nyon. The only word to describe it was vast.
I could see far and wide. There were no houses or towns to be seen, only trees and dirt. The phrase ‘No man’s land’ popped into my head. If I had taken another step I would have fallen, dropping at least twenty feet.
I looked around to see if there was some sort of ranger’s cabin. So many people liked to go out and hike in nature. There had to be one, but there wasn’t.
I’d wasted my time, and now I had to walk the whole way back to his house. Once we arrived home, Daddy was going to punish me for running away.
I broke down and cried.
“Honey, don’t cry.” He cradled my head in the palm of his hand and guided my head to his chest. “You had to see it for yourself.” He wrapped his other arm around me and hugged me to his chest.
“If I had gone in the other direction?” I peeked up at him, knowing that he wouldn’t lie to me.
“The woods go on for a very long time, and wild animals are out here. No one else is out here. There used to be a town here about once, but it was too small to stay interesting for young couples. I bought this land, and I live here alone.”
“Why would you do that? So you can kidnap girls?”
“No, that isn’t why. I don’t like being around lots of people. I’d rather be close to on person who I honestly love.”
“Don’t say that. Just because you stalked me doesn’t mean that you know me.”
“I didn’t stalk you. I watched over you. If you had needed me, I would have stepped forward sooner. If you had fallen in love with a boy at school, I would have let you go, but you didn’t. Instead, you sat in your room quietly. It was like you were waiting for me.
“I could taste how lonely you were. I don’t want that for you. You need to be told daily that you’re loved and wanted. I know that, and I promise you that I can provide that for the rest of your life.”
“No one can promise something like that.” I ripped myself away from him and started the long walk back.
“I can.” He said that as if he were sad about the fact that he could keep that promise. I guessed that I had caused too many problems, and that he didn’t want me anymore.