He is begging me, with every ounce of his being, to forgive him. I know that Antonio is everything I should stay away from but I find myself grateful for the fact that I am his captive. I don’t have a choice and I am glad because I don’t want to be without this man. His intensity is as alluring as it is dangerous.
Every day, he lodges himself deeper into my soul. At least I don’t have to deal with the guilt of choosing to be with a monster. I have no choice; he has taken that away… the same way that he is taking my heart.
I open my legs, moaning his name. He slowly moves in me, touching and staring as if he is trying to soak up my very essence.
I can see, by the earnestness in his eyes, that the words he speaks to me are true. I know that he is falling in love with me. I just can’t figure out why. I know that he is damaged goods. I’m glad I overheard the night terror he had because it helps me to understand why this man is so tormented with thoughts of me abandoning him. My freedom will be his undoing. I am torn but, for now, I lose myself in the love of a monster under the pale light of the moon in a forbidden castle.
Antonio is like me—broken.
Maybe that is what draws us to one another. The broken, fragmented pieces crying out from the atrocities of the past just beg anyone to understand. We are two beings with shattered souls reaching out to each other because we recognized a kindred, broken spirit. We are like two peas in a pod. Maybe that is why he gets to me. This is the worst sort of man that I could fall in love with.
Why is it that we always gravitate towards the things that are forbidden? Tonight, something is happening as he speaks softly and tells me how vulnerable he feels. He’s telling me he has never loved anyone but his brother. Antonio opens up a part of himself to me—a part he has never shown anyone.
How can I turn away a man who needs me? I can see his anguish. No one can fake the depth of pain that I see in his eyes tonight. No matter how much my head warns me not to connect with this man, my heart and my body are not listening…
Antonio Wayne
I turn around in my office chair and stare out the window as my mind drifts back to my childhood.
My brother and I had grown up in the violent backstreets of Colombia. Our drug-addicted mother’s violent boyfriends assured that we would rather sleep in the streets than return home in the evenings. We literally grew up stealing to eat and fighting for our lives.
We were all each other had and still are to this day. When I lost him, it crushed me. Roxanne is causing a lot of memories to resurface that I have kept buried. Things I thought I had buried deep enough to never bother me again are suddenly plaguing my mind.
Roxanne is causing an emotion in me that I can’t remember feeling since I was a child: fear. It’s ridiculous. I can handle things like violence and bloodshed without batting an eye. Only one thing causes me to feel true fear and that is the threat of abandonment.
I am afraid of losing her and the thought makes me violent. It is all that I can do to restrain the vicious beast lodged within me. I don’t want to physically hurt her. I was reacting in anger because of the fear. I can’t lose her; I just can’t.
My brother, Ricardo, sent me to live with an uncle in New York City when he began running drugs for the cartel. I went from the jungles to the city and I will never forget the day I left. It literally broke my heart and I vowed that day I would never love again. I have kept that promise all these years until now…
My private line rings. Only one person has that number and that’s my big brother, Ricardo.
“Hermanito, como estas? How are you, little brother?”
“I’m well, very well, just enjoying that trouble making, little, redhead you sent me.”
“It must be something with the American women. My Juanita is always making trouble for me too. On another note, I’ve called Miller in to help deal with this issue of our cargo.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing his crazy ass.”
“Yes, I have a soft place for him too. Not to mention the man is very good at what he does. He has a partner now, a woman. They say she is very efficient at helping him. They will be arriving in New York tomorrow. Needless to say, make certain they are given the royal treatment for helping us.”
“You know it, big brother, you know it. Though we both know the man would come to our aid even if it was necessary for him to sleep outside, he won’t be experiencing anything but royal treatment during his stay here.”
“I love you, little brother. I will talk to you soon.”
“Love you too, big brother.”
Chapter Eleven
Roxanne
I make my way into the dressing room that I love pilfering in. One thing I can say for my husband is that he is on top of it concerning fashion and keeping his girls looking hot. It’s rumored that he has an eidetic memory and that both he and Ricardo are documented geniuses. Antonio knows every girl’s size and her preference for any beauty product she uses.
Most of the girls are on the floor working and I love to come back and dig through the clothing when no one is around. For some reason, it reminds me of the days I used to go into thrift stores and shop. I am wearing high-end designer clothing and Antonio will buy me anything I want, but I still love to dig through the costumes.
“Psst, Psst,” I hear someone.
I turn from the rack of clothes I’m looking through to view Agent Turner standing in the doorway.
I make my way over to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him in as I lock the door.
“You really are trying to get me killed, aren’t you?” I hiss. Before he can answer, I continue, “I would be willing to bet that partner of yours, who doesn’t like you out of her sight, wouldn’t be happy about you being here. You don’t just have to worry about pissing off my crazy ass husband; you’re crazy ass girlfriend has a temper too.”
“I need to talk to you, Roxanne!”
“What?!” I answer him aggressively, more out of fear than anger.
“Roxanne, I know that you are not in this marriage by choice. I don’t know what you did to the Ramirez brothers but rumor has it you were a payoff for a theft that you pulled in Guatemala.”
“That is not true!” I lie.
“Look, Roxanne, I’m working a case right now, an abduction case. Somebody is stealing women in Mexico and bringing them back here for a prostitution ring. Now they have upped their game and stolen a whole fucking boatload of women at sea. I believe it was Antonio’s cargo and, I can assure you, there will be bloodshed. These brothers are not going to just let an offense like that go. They have a reputation to maintain aside from the fact that your husband enjoys torturing people. Fuck, he gets off on it. You are married to a very dangerous man!”
“My husband doesn’t have to steal women.”
“Yeah, I know… the whole Magic Man reputation he has with the ladies.”
I feel a wave of jealousy wash over me even though I know he hasn’t been fucking any of his women since he married me. With his bedroom skills, I don’t doubt for one second that they dubbed him the Magic Man. The shrill sound of Sabrina sets my heart racing. Shit, if I get caught in this closet with an FBI guy, I’m in so much trouble. There is nothing Sabrina would love more than tattling on me.
“Hey girl, open this door!” Sabrina yells out.
“Get out of here,” I harshly whisper as I pull him to the back door, allowing him access to the back alley. It’s the same back alley where Antonio almost beat a man to death. This is making me very fucking nervous.
“Call me if you ever need me,” he thrust a business card in my hand and I quickly stick it in my bra.
As soon as I lock the back door, I make my way over and open the closet door.
Sabrina scoffs, “Too shy to try on clothes in front of the rest of us, or too good to?”
“Hey Sabrina, I understand you don’t like the fact that I’m here, but don’t push me too far; I’m not scared of a fight.”
I exit, leaving her in a wake o
f what the fuck just happened?
I make my way out of the dressing room and all but run into Antonio Wayne.
Fuck! This is too close for comfort. I need a drink.
“Come here, girl,” Antonio growls. He pulls me around the corner as he pins me to the wall. “You want to play house, little girl?”
I giggle. “It’s better than playing dead.” Antonio rubs up against me, passionately kissing me as he runs his hand up my shirt. “Um, um, you are one sexy lady,” he moans.
I know that business card is in my bra and I pull away, making my way to the bar.
“You’re going to get it later, girl.”
“You promise?” I counter, laughing to try and play off the fact that my heart is beating out of my chest.
I make my way to the bar to get a glass of wine and Antonio comes up behind me blocking me in.
The bartender eyes Antonio and asks, “Is it okay, boss?”
“Hey I’m a big girl,” I answer for him.
The bartender responds, “I don’t work for you.”
Antonio growls in my ear, “What do I get?”
I answer, “Nothing if you don’t get my wine.” Antonio nods his head at the bartender. He pulls me over to the booth, cornering me against the wall and says, “I like it when I dress you. There’s no pants so it’s easy access, girl.”
It is evident to everyone here that Antonio is crazy about me; everyone can see it. He was a player before marrying me but now, he is consumed with my every action. He is latching onto me as if I’m his lifeline and, in a sense, I guess I am. No matter how old we get, we carry our childhood with us and this guy was severely traumatized as a kid. I can’t help but feel compassion towards him. Even though his version of love is obsession, it’s all he knows. I know he will do anything to keep me and I also know this kind of love is dangerous. He is the kind of man that mothers warn their daughters not to fall in love with. I’m just as fucked up as he is because I feed off of his crazy obsession with me. We’re two damaged, fucked up people with issues who found each other in the most unorthodox of ways but regardless of how fucked up our emotions are, what we have is real. We have the kind of love that most people search a lifetime for and never find. Even though I’m scared of him, the fear only feeds the crazy ass love we have. Yeah, I’m fucked up; I just don’t care. I understand why my husband is the way he is. He lost his brother at a young age when Ricardo sent him to the states to stay with an uncle.
Columbia had been a war torn country with guerillas wreaking havoc on unsuspecting villagers. Ricardo simply could not, and would not, lose his little brother. They are still joined at the hip and as thick as thieves due to growing up with only each other to cling to. I’m certain it was as hard on Ricardo as it was on Antonio Wayne when he had to send him to the states. Antonio never wants to feel that kind of heartbreak again. He will guard me with his life, literally…
Chapter Twelve
Rosalie
I see it when I look in the mirror. No longer do I look like the bright eyed, innocent girl who was brought into Eduardo’s stable. Now I have a hard and indifferent look and demeanor. My heart, which was once tender, is now a cold slab of nothing. I don’t feel mercy for all these other women. Even knowing that we all came here together, we all once had the same dream that’s now shattered, doesn’t soften my heart towards them. No one has shown me mercy, except for Eduardo, and he only has it because I made him think I care about him. I know the other women look at me with disdain. I see how they whisper to each other and sneer in disgust because I’m with Eduardo, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t care about anyone, not even myself. I care about one thing and that’s the drug that feeds my addiction.
I eye the abductees as they are herded through the tunnel. The tunnels are something that we Latinos can take pride in. We’re proud of the fact that for every tunnel discovered and shut down by the U.S. Marshalls, five more will replace it. This is the load of cargo that I was originally a part of before Eduardo made me his favorite. From what I’ve heard, we were stolen at sea from two brothers who have a very dangerous reputation. Eduardo may have crossed the wrong people this time. Maybe I will get rescued after all, though I honestly don’t think I can adjust to life with anyone else. My existence is fucked up but it is all I know. I can never go back to Mexico. There is just too much shame and then there is the drug addiction. This is my life and I’ve resigned myself to it.
Not only are these pimps wreaking havoc on the lives of their abductees, they are also affecting the economy of a law abiding community. I know all this and I still can’t bring myself to care about any of it. It’s sad because when I was taken captive, Eduardo not only took my freedom, he also took my ability to care about anything or anyone. I had to quit caring because it hurt too much.
This time, Eduardo may have crossed a line he will regret. He has gotten involved with a group called The Refugees, a Dominican gang. Apparently, there’s a group of Haitians who boarded one of the Ramirez brother’s boats at sea and kidnapped a load of their women who were being transported. From there, deals were made and the Dominicans took over once they docked. Whether I like it or not, Eduardo has pulled me into a very dangerous predicament against my will. Just like everything else in my life, I don’t have a choice but to go along with this little scam of his. I can’t help but wonder how long we can continue going on like this. Crossing two brothers with Colombian cartel connections is a stupid thing to do. Our little reign of terror may very well be getting ready to come to an end. I am sure Ricardo and Antonio will see to that.
Roxanne
I never considered the fact that my controlling husband, with his need to be privy to every aspect of my life, would have the club extensively wired with surveillance cameras—hidden surveillance cameras. I can understand why he has security in the club and I knew that there were cameras on the main floor. I just had no idea that he had hidden cameras in not only the closet, but every single place that any of his women could possibly hide. I should know by now that nothing gets past Antonio Wayne Ramirez. Somehow, he found that fucking business card I got from Agent Turner. For some reason, him thinking that I would snitch on him, or anyone else, bothers me. If and when I decide to escape him, I’ll be bold enough to do it on my own. I would never go to the police about the Ramirez brothers. That is just not how I operate… ever.
I am in the club’s upstairs apartment that we sometimes use, talking to Alexis as she helps me get ready. It comes in handy for when we aren’t at home in his castle.
“So how are you, Roxanne?”
“Right now, I am just going through the motions, Alexis.”
Alexis kisses my cheek and says, “I’m here if you need to talk. I’m certain being abducted and thrown into this lifestyle can’t be easy.”
“Is this what he does, Alexis, to break his women? Subject them to fear tactics and monitor their every move with surveillance?”
“Roxanne, every woman is different. I just wanted approval, which I never got from my real father, and Antonio, the father of my heart, gives me that. I’m here of my own free will because this is the only real family I have ever had. Any love I got from my father came at a cost. When I performed well, I was loved. When I didn’t meet his standards of perfection, he was cold and indifferent. Tony doesn’t usually go around abducting women and he didn’t get the nickname Magic Man for nothing; women flock to the guy.”
Once again, I feel a wave of jealousy course through me at the thought of him being with another woman. “Well, I hope he isn’t stupid enough to try and do something to an FBI agent.”
Alexis turns my chair to face her, “Then keep your mouth shut and don’t do anything to provoke him. He is in love with you, Roxanne, and it’s the crazy, insane kind of love. I have never seen him this way with any of his women and I have been with him for seven years.”
I, of all people, know how dangerous our kind of crazy love can get but he certainly doesn’t have anything to worry about as fa
r as me being attracted to FBI guy. We make our way downstairs and I head over to the bar. My hackles rise as Antonio comes up behind me and growls, “The waitress can get it. Sit down.”
I know right away that Antonio has been drinking and I make a mental note not to anger him. I won’t be mouthing off tonight. I don’t trust myself if he pushes me but I’m damn sure going to make an effort to keep my big mouth shut.
He leans over and starts toying with my hair but it isn’t in a kind, endearing way. There is something extremely sinister about his touch. “Where did you get this business card?” he asks me, flicking it between two fingers repeatedly. I wish he would quit doing it; the sound is very unnerving right now.
“He gave it to me one day and I didn’t want to bother you with it, Antonio.”
“Liar,” he growls as he chews on my ear. Something about the way he is touching me so gently is scaring the shit out of me. I can’t get a read on him and I don’t like it. “I have already taken one away from you, my little, trouble making liar. You just seem to stay in trouble. I’m beginning to wonder if you enjoy my discipline. Do you? Well, don’t worry because tonight I’ll be subjecting you to the scene of a lifetime.”
I look down. He is making me very nervous. “Can I have a glass of wine,” I ask.
“Anything for my little liar,” he motions for the waitress to get it.
My hands are shaking as I take the glass.
“Are you nervous, Roxanne? Do you feel awkward with your own husband? I’m very pleased with your fear. We both know how hot you get when you’re afraid.”
“A little,” I mumble as I look down. I really don’t want to piss him off any more than he is now. This whole calm anger he is exuding right now is a little too sinister for me.
“Well, I bet that man, who threatened my brother’s wife, feels real awkward right about now. Boy, my big brother has got a bad temper. Yep, he sure is taken with that little friend of yours. My brother had that man beat so badly that he’s in the hospital and they’re not sure if he is ever going to be able to walk again.
The Club Page 7