“I don’t think that’s it,” Thorn said. “I don’t know why, but it just doesn’t feel like the right answer.”
“I know what you mean,” Talon said. “I can’t put my finger on it, but something’s…off.”
“She was not in the least disturbed by us surrounding her, or our purring,” Tee said. “She was laughing, and that delicious pear scent she always emits when she’s aroused was growing stronger. Something must have set her off but I have no idea what. Do either of you?”
“I don’t,” Thorn said. “I might have done something without realizing it though.”
“I think it was me,” Talon said.
“What? Why? What did you do?” Tee asked rapid fire.
“I was caressing her arm with my tail lock. She reached up to touch it, and she was smiling, so I know that wasn’t the problem.”
“What then?” Thorn asked, confused.
“I wrapped it around her wrist. Not tightly, but firmly enough that she felt it. As far as I can tell, that’s what started her screaming.”
“You think she was bound?” Thorn asked tightly.
“That’s the odd part,” Talon said. “When she put her hand on my cheek, I distinctly remember wrapping my fingers around her wrist and leaning into her hand. She didn’t flinch or shy away at all. And it was the same wrist.”
“Then maybe it was something else that set her off,” Thorn said.
“Maybe,” Talon said. “One thing I do know is that we need to go more slowly. I never want to hear her scream in such terror again.”
Chapter 20
The next couple of weeks passed in a blur, it seemed. The men in engineering were always coming up with new ideas for things to help Star. One of Ria and Star’s favorite items was a big wagon for the cubs. It was long, narrow enough not to block traffic in the corridors, had four wheels, a high lip all around to keep the cubs from falling out, and a rope handle that Star could grasp with her mouth to pull, as well as a metal handle that Ria could use.
The wagon allowed them to leave the room with the cubs so they didn't have to worry so much about getting back. The only downside was that everyone wanted to crowd around the moment they saw the cubs.
Under other circumstances Ria would have been nervous at the idea of trying to tell so many people to back off. But when it came to the cubs, she was as protective as Star. They discussed the matter between them, then they told everyone gently but clearly that too many people touching and holding the cubs at such a young age would be confusing for them. Luckily everyone understood and satisfied themselves with watching from a distance.
Once they were both cleared by Dr. Jula, on the condition that they go slowly under Lanok’s supervision, Star and Ria developed a routine. After Star fed Bell and Lonato, they bundled the cubs into the wagon and went to the rec deck three mornings a week for their sessions with Lanok. He would monitor Star while also monitoring other men and women on other machines, keeping a close eye on her breathing, her gait, and the tension in her muscles. She wasn’t allowed to run full out yet, but she was satisfied with the exercise she was getting. Ria sat with the cubs and adjusted the treadmill controls for Star once she had them memorized.
When Star finished her workout they would go to a training studio where Ria would work with Lanok on a combination of self-defense techniques he’d put together specifically for her, while Star watched with great interest. Afterward they would go to the cafeteria where they’d meet the Katres for breakfast.
On the days they didn’t work with Lanok they still left their room, but instead of their workouts, they would walk. They explored the Hilgaria from bridge to landing bay during those two weeks until they both knew it nearly as well as the crew. Then they would meet for breakfast with the Katres.
Ria couldn’t remember ever being happier in her entire life. Knowing how other people felt, and when they lied, made making friends a near impossibility for her. Even though she could eventually turn her abilities off when she wanted, she’d always felt she was better off knowing the truth of people, whether she liked that truth or not.
Star was the first true friend Ria had ever had, and she loved it. She always knew what Star was feeling, and vice versa, and Star never lied to her. In return, she told Star about her abilities and her childhood, secrets she’d never been able to share with anyone before.
She and the Katres spent most evenings together, getting to know each other. Sometimes they worked to help her separate her visual modes. With their help and encouragement, she soon managed to separate radio signals from microwaves, gamma rays from x-rays, and she could see in ultraviolet.
Her feelings of arousal when she was with them were difficult to get accustomed to, but in time she learned how to set them to one side so she could function without sounding like a blithering fool any more than she usually did. She knew they reacted to her sexually too. Not because they’d told her, since they hadn’t. Or because she could see it, because she couldn’t. But because she could smell their arousal. Or maybe it was their pheromones. She wasn’t sure which, and didn’t ask.
They always carried the scent of warm cedar and something she couldn’t identify. Something spicy and rich, but not too heavy, that was just a little bit different for each of them. When they became aroused the scent deepened, became warmer and richer, causing her skin to pebble and her eyes to close without her permission as she breathed it deeply into her lungs.
They carried her so often that she soon became used to it, though at first it made her uncomfortable. She was usually in one of their laps when they were alone, which she also became accustomed to. They’d taken to kissing her lightly, on the lips or cheek, but they never took it further, and they never pressed her sexually.
They told her about their childhoods, their family, and their long career in the military. They shared many stories with her, some funny, some exciting, some sad. She often wished she had stories to share with them, but they didn’t seem to mind that she didn’t.
One evening they brought dinner for all of them, as they often did, and they ate dinner together. Afterward they talked for a time, until Talon mentioned he needed to run.
“That reminds me,” Ria said. “Star asked me a while back if you’d mind letting her watch you shift.”
“Of course we don’t mind,” Talon replied. “Were going down to the Roar Room now if you’d like to come along.”
“I would like that very much,” Star said, her tail wagging. “Ria?”
“Why don’t you go, Star, and I’ll stay here with the little guys.”
“You are sure?” Star asked.
“Positive,” Ria said, smiling. “I can’t really see them that well anyway.”
“When we get back, will you let us take you to the observation deck?” Thorn asked.
“Yep, that sounds nice. Now, go on and take your time.”
While they were gone she stacked the dishes and rolled up Star’s mat, then listened to some music until they returned an hour later. Star came in talking excitedly, telling Ria all about what they’d done and how exciting it had been. Ria was so pleased that they’d let Star lie in the center of the Roar Room itself rather than make her watch through the window that she gave each of them a kiss in thanks.
Star finally settled down when the cubs woke up, wanting yet another meal. “I’ll be back later, Star.”
“Have fun, and thank you again Talon, Thorn, and you Tee. I will always remember that.”
“You’re welcome, Star, of course,” Thorn said.
Talon picked her up and carried her out of the room, which she’d learned to just accept. “So what’s up?” she asked when they stepped off the elevator.
“Up?” Talon asked.
“I just feel like you have something you want to talk to me about. Am I wrong?”
“No, Kitelle, you’re not wrong,” Talon replied. “We’d like to tell you a more personal story than we’ve told you before.”
“Okay,” Ria sa
id. “Is it bad?”
“No, Shiaki, it’s not bad,” Thorn said, opening the door to the observation deck. Tee locked it behind them while Talon carried her over to a sofa. Once they were all situated with her on Talon’s lap, her legs across Thorn’s knees, and Tee in a chair pulled up very close, Talon began speaking.
“About twelve and a half years ago now, the need for a family of our own began to grow so strong that we could no longer ignore it. We took an extended leave of absence from the military, and took up residence in our home in Berria.
“We have a few hundred thousand acres there that are mostly filled with orchards. We’ve never worked them, but we have a family of Citizen Jasani that have been with us for a few generations, and they handle all of that.
“The house that we built when we purchased the land a couple of centuries back was small and, despite the caretakers’ best efforts, was crumbling with age. We tore it down, designed a house for the family we dreamt of having, and set to work building it.
“In the meantime, we added our names to the list at Bride House, and also to the list for Arima House.”
“There’s a list for Arima House?” Ria asked.
“Not in the same way as Bride House,” Thorn said. “The list for Arima House was just a request to be notified whenever new pheromone samples were displayed in the Hidden City.”
“So you didn’t really care if you found your berezi or not.”
“I wouldn’t put it quite like that,” Tee said. “We just wanted to keep all options open.”
“I wasn’t criticizing, Tee, I was clarifying,” Ria said gently. Tee smiled his understanding. “So how long did you wait?”
“A long time,” Talon said. “We’d been there two years when Thorn went on the munitions run. After that we encountered a few women who very rudely and tactlessly expressed their opinions of his scars. Since we couldn’t very well challenge them without losing all honor, we withdrew our names from Bride House.”
“Get me their names and I’ll track them down and challenge them,” Ria said in a calm cool voice they’d never heard from her. They stared at her quietly for a long moment, then grinned. “I’m tempted to do that,” Tee said.
“Good, because I’m serious.”
Thorn reached over and pulled her into his arms, then pressed a kiss to her lips that tempted him a little too much. He kissed her again on the forehead and put her back where she’d been sitting.
Ria cleared her throat. “So, did you wait around for Arima House any longer?”
“Yes,” Thorn said quietly. “Another ten years, in fact.”
“What?” she asked in surprise, wishing she could actually see his face, and look into his eyes. “Why did you wait so long?”
“Because we wanted to find her, find you, more than we wanted anything else,” Thorn replied.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, tears filling her eyes as she leaned over and placed her palm against his cheek.
“For what are you apologizing?” Tee asked. “I believe you were about nine years old when we began waiting.”
“Still, I’m sorry. Sorry that you waited so long for nothing.”
“It wasn’t for nothing,” Talon said. “By the time we stopped to search, we’d already spent about three hundred years in the military. If we hadn’t done that, we probably would have been at the far ends of the Thousand Worlds when the Dracon-Bats began searching for a male-set to command the Hilgaria. And, if we hadn’t waited so long that we were going a little stir crazy, we might not have chosen to take on a two-year long expedition without even knowing where we were going or why.”
Ria nodded reluctantly. “It’s like Star said. To wish away yesterday is to wish away today.”
“Exactly,” Thorn said. “Here’s something else to add to that pile of ifs. If I hadn’t been scarred up badly enough to send all the women in Bride House scurrying for blindfolds, we probably would have given up waiting for our berezi and chosen a human woman instead.”
“I don’t like that what if at all,” she said scowling. “Never mention it again.”
“I won’t, Shiaki, you have my word of honor,” he said solemnly. Even though she couldn’t see the glint of humor in his eyes, she heard it in his voice and pretended a happiness she didn’t really feel for the remainder of the evening.
Later, after taking her back to her room and kissing her goodnight, Ria got ready for bed and climbed in, careful not to awaken Star. Then she spent the rest of the night crying into her pillow. By the time her tears stopped in the early hours of the morning, she’d finally admitted to herself that she loved them. And that she wanted more from them than talking. A lot more. It was a thought that both excited and terrified her.
Excited because she had long since lost her nervousness when they touched her, and found she craved it, instead. Terrified because she wasn’t certain if they wanted what she wanted. She finally fell asleep while trying to think of ways to let them know how she felt without making herself feel like a fool.
When she awoke a couple of hours later to the sounds of Belle and Lonato squealing for their breakfast, she was glad it was a day when Lanok didn’t come. The last thing she wanted to do was throw running kicks at Lanok this morning.
She got out of bed, stumbled into the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face to wake herself up and brushed her teeth. It’s mornings like this that make me glad that I can’t see my reflection in the mirror. See, there’s always a rainbow over the…what? Hmmm…over the yellow brick road? Over the pot of gold? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I need coffee.
“Good morning, Ria,” Star said, when she left the bathroom, a note of concern in her voice that Ria caught immediately. “You didn’t sleep well, did you?”
“No, not really,” Ria admitted. “I’m sorry if I kept you up.”
“If you would like to share what troubles you, I am happy to listen.”
“Thanks, Star,” Ria said. “I would like to talk with you about this. But um, would you mind if we have breakfast brought in this morning? I don’t feel much like going out. Or you could go and I’ll stay here with the little ones.”
“Little?” Star snorted, making Ria laugh. “I like your idea, Ria. Let’s have breakfast here this morning.”
“Fantastic,” Ria said brightly. Star told her what she wanted and she called the order in to the cafeteria. Then she rolled out the mat Star liked to use and went to the bathroom to brush her hair.
When she came back out, Star had straightened the covers on her bed, picked up her bathrobe from where it’d fallen on the floor and laid it on the foot of the bed, and put her sneakers in the closet.
She’d been surprised to learn how fastidious Star was. The Brun liked things neat, and seemed to enjoy doing the neatening herself. There was a team of people whose job it was to keep the ship clean, including the guest rooms. They came in twice a week to clean the bathrooms, check the towels, pick up and deliver laundry and other tasks. They did a great job, but in general she and Star picked up after themselves. Ria had been amazed to see just how much Star could do, though there were some things that were beyond her.
Ria went over to her bed, fluffed her pillows and tucked in the blankets, things Star couldn’t do. “Thanks for picking up after me, Star.”
“I am only glad you do not become annoyed with me.”
“Why would I get annoyed?”
“I cannot say why you’d be annoyed because I don’t understand it myself. I know only that my habit of always wanting things to be put away in their places annoyed many.”
“Well it doesn’t annoy me in the slightest, so don’t worry about it.”
A knock on the door announced breakfast and Ria went to answer. The man who brought the food up on a big tray was known to her and Star now, and they liked him. He was a human male, a little older than most of the crew, with silver in his hair and laugh lines around his eyes.
“Good morning, Lady Ria, Star,” Ben said as Ria ste
pped back out of the way. Ben entered and went straight to the table with the tray and began unloading it.
“Good morning, Ben,” Star greeted. When he placed her breakfast on the mat, she thanked him. He smiled at her, then craned his neck a little to see the cubs, though he didn’t attempt to approach them.
“They’re growing so fast,” he said. “I can’t wait until they’re up and running through the ship. That’ll be so much fun to see.”
“It’ll be interesting, at least,” Star said wryly.
Ben laughed, set the tray down on a low table, and headed for the door. “Enjoy your breakfast ladies, and have a good day.”
“Thanks Ben, you have a good day too.” He smiled, hit the panel on the wall to open the door and left. Ria went over to lock it, then headed straight for the coffee carafe.
Once they were settled and eating, Ria thought about what she wanted to say to Star. She was a little bit worried about hurting her feelings.
“It’s all right Ria, you can tell me anything,” Star said, repeating words Ria had used with her not so long ago.
Ria smiled and nodded. “I’ve been going slow with the Katres,” she began. “You know that. The last thing I wanted to do was rush things until I was sure of my own feelings. Last night I realized I love them. I’m just not real sure what to do about it.”
“Didn’t you tell me that you would soul link with them one day?”
“Yes, but I can’t do that now.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know,” Ria said. “Something is telling me not to do that yet.”
“Something?” Star asked, confused.
“It’s like when I got the feeling I had to be in the transporter room when you first arrived. I don’t know why I felt it, or where it came from, I just knew I had to be there.”
“I see,” Star said, picking a slice of bacon from the small tray that served as her plate. “Does that mean you must wait to have sex with them?”
Ria was taking a sip of her coffee when she gasped so suddenly at the unexpected comment that she snorted her coffee into her nose. It wasn’t until she’d cleared her sinuses and regained her composure that she noticed how worried Star was.
Ria's Visions (Hearts of ICARUS Book 6) Page 38