“I’m sure she’s just … shaken up,” Christy said.
“Why would she be shaken up?” Cassidy asked. “Is it because she’s still mourning her mother? That must be it. Other than her grandmother, Olivia was the only family she had, right?”
“Yeah,” Christy said. “It was just the three of them.”
Nick was lost in thought. He was still standing. It was like he was waiting for Maddie to come back. Waiting wasn’t the right word. No, he was hoping she would come back. He was hoping she would come back and let him apologize. He was hoping … .
“What happened to her father?” Cassidy asked.
Nick jerked back to reality. “He abandoned Olivia and his daughter when Maddie was just a baby.”
“That’s horrible.”
“It is horrible,” Nick said, clenching his jaw. He reached into his wallet and dropped a few bills on the table. “I need to get going.”
“What about lunch?” Cassidy looked crushed.
“I … I have some things I have to get done,” Nick said. “I forgot about them. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Cassidy said. “I was surprised to see you in the first place.” She lifted her face up and smiled at him. “Give me a kiss before you go.”
Nick’s stomach twisted. It wasn’t her fault, but the idea of kissing Cassidy – especially in front of Christy – unsettled him. Instead of pressing his lips to hers, he dropped a hesitant kiss on top of her head and patted her shoulder. “I’ll … call you later.”
Nick didn’t miss the disappointed look on Cassidy’s face.
“Okay,” she said.
Nick strode toward the door, internally cursing himself for hurting Cassidy. She was a sweet girl. She’d never done a thing to warrant being mistreated, and yet the idea of touching her now was … uncomfortable. It hadn’t been a problem until Maddie had reentered his life twenty-four hours before. Until then, things had been fine. His relationship with Cassidy wasn’t the stuff of great romance books – or even maudlin movies – but it had been comfortable.
Now nothing felt comfortable in his life.
When Nick hit Main Street in front of Ruby’s Diner, he found himself scanning the bustling storefronts. He told himself he wasn’t looking for Maddie, but he knew it wasn’t true. He just wanted to make sure she was okay. Her face had been so … broken … when she fled. He was partially to blame, but he was just so angry with her. He knew it was irrational. Who holds a grudge for something a teenager did ten years later? The one who was left behind, that’s who.
Nick sighed. Maddie was gone. She’d been gone, he reminded himself. Just because she was physically back, that didn’t mean she was emotionally back. It didn’t mean she’d come home for him. It didn’t mean … . Nick paused when a hint of movement caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.
He shifted his shoulders, sucking in a breath when he saw Maddie. She was standing halfway down the alley, her gaze focused on the ground a few feet in front of her. There was something … odd … about the situation. Instinctively, Nick moved toward her.
“Maddie?”
She didn’t answer him.
“Maddie, I’m sorry for … the weird lunch.” Had he pushed her so far she was hiding in an alley? That was so wrong.
When Maddie didn’t respond again, Nick studied her more closely. Her face was ashen, and her chest was heaving with shallow movements, as if each breath she took was painful. Something was wrong.
Nick rushed forward and grabbed her arm, snapping her body around so she was facing him. “Maddie!”
Maddie’s blue eyes were scattered. “N-nick.”
“What’s wrong?”
Maddie threw her arms around his neck, and Nick didn’t fight the embrace. He tightened his arms around her, hating the way her body shook as melded to him. “Mad, what’s wrong?”
Maddie didn’t move her head from Nick’s chest, instead extending her arm and pointing to a spot on the ground a few feet away. Nick moved Maddie’s hair out of the way so he could see what she was pointing at, and then sucked in a breath. “Oh, shit.”
THE BLACKSTONE Bay Police Department arrived en masse within five minutes. Since the department consisted of three police officers and one part-time police chief – who also served as the town mailman – Maddie wasn’t surprised by the quick response.
Nick had kept Maddie close, even when he checked to make sure the woman was dead. It was fairly obvious emergency personnel wouldn’t be needed. The wounds on her torso were deep, and the blood pooled on her chest had dried sometime during the night. She was beyond help – at least of the physical kind.
Once his co-workers arrived, Nick shuffled Maddie to the sidewalk. She was in shock, but she still needed to be questioned. After taping off the crime scene, and calling the coroner, Nick rejoined Maddie as another officer, Dale Kreskin, questioned her.
“What made you go down the alley?”
Maddie worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “I was … just looking for a moment to collect myself.”
“Why?”
Maddie looked to Nick for help, unsure how to answer. “I was just a little … unhinged after lunch.”
“And why is that?” Dale asked.
“I … um … it’s just been hard to reintegrate myself back into town,” Maddie said, squaring her shoulders. “I keep running into people I used to know.”
“And who were you having lunch with?”
“Christy Ford.”
“Just her?”
“And … um … Cassidy … .” Maddie shot a furtive look in Nick’s direction. “I don’t know her last name.”
“Dunham,” Nick supplied.
“Your Cassidy?” Dale asked.
Nick didn’t miss the face Maddie made. It was a quick reaction, and she pushed it away as fast as she could, but he’d still seen it. It made him feel … something. “Yes,” he said. “I was there, too.”
“Do you two know each other?” Dale hadn’t grown up in the area, only coming to Blackstone Bay after twenty years with the Detroit Police Department, so he wasn’t familiar with a lot of the local history. While Dale had been bored with the lack of crime in town during his five-year tenure, Nick was happy someone with so much experience was here now.
“We grew up together,” Nick said evasively. “We were just getting … reacquainted.”
Dale’s keen brown eyes bounced between Maddie and Nick, curious. “Uh-huh.”
“Is that all you need?” Maddie asked.
“I guess so,” Dale said. “I need a number to reach you at in case I have more questions. You’re not planning on leaving town, are you?”
“No,” Maddie said. She gave him her cellphone number. When he was gone, she let loose with a shaky sigh and blessed Nick with a watery smile. “Well, this was quite the welcome home.”
Nick reached out and pushed her hair away from her face. It was still as soft as he remembered, as was the skin his fingers brushed against with the movement. “Are you okay, Mad?”
Maddie stilled. “I … don’t know. It’s just all so surreal.”
Nick nodded sympathetically. He pulled her in close, his body overriding the warnings his mind kept screaming, and gave her another hug. Something told him she needed the solace – and he just couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to touch her.
Maddie burrowed her face into the hollow between his neck and chest. Nick pressed his cheek to the top of her head, and then he proceeded to rock back and forth to lull her – just like he had when Marla Proctor terrorized Maddie back in high school. It was as if nothing had changed. Even the steady beat of her heart was the same.
“It’s going to be okay, Mad.”
CASSIDY couldn’t stop the feeling of dread from dwarfing her as she watched Nick console Maddie from the front stoop of Ruby’s Diner. He hadn’t even bothered to look for her in the melee surrounding the discovery. It was like she didn’t exist.
Cassidy had seen him, though. He’d only l
eft Maddie’s side when forced, returning as quickly as he could and … touching her every chance he got. Cassidy didn’t miss that. Nick’s hands seemed to have a mind of their own, and that mind was focused on Maddie.
Before Maddie returned to town, Cassidy had pushed her misgivings about the woman as far down into her soul as she could manage. She’d heard the whispers. Stay away from Nick Winters. He’ll never want anyone but Maddie Graves. Since Cassidy had no idea who Maddie was, she’d ignored the rumors because she was desperate to get close to Nick.
Who wouldn’t want to be close to him? He was all muscles and bright smiles. He had the face of a Greek god, and the body of a movie star. He was sweet, and nice, and even romantic from time to time. Sure, his mind often seemed to wander, but it always returned to her eventually.
Cassidy had a feeling something was different now. Nick had lied to her. She was sure of that. He claimed he didn’t want her to go down to Willow Lake with him because it was his “thinking” place. He said he always went down there alone. Now she knew why he really disappeared there three times a week: That was where he felt closest to Maddie.
Cassidy’s heart was beating so hard she was sure it was about to explode. Nick said they’d never dated – and she believed him – but she knew now it wasn’t because he didn’t want to date the willowy blonde. She also knew it wasn’t because Maddie didn’t want Nick. They were both obviously too scared to admit their feelings.
Her world was slipping away, and she was just standing there watching it happen. Nick’s face was buried in Maddie’s hair, and his hands were tight around her back as he rocked her in his arms. Cassidy knew Nick had never held her that way, or looked at her the way he did when Maddie fled from lunch. He’d never felt anything for her like he did for Maddie.
“I’m sure it’s not what you think,” Christy said, appearing at Cassidy’s elbow.
Cassidy collected herself. “And what am I thinking?”
“You’re thinking that they’re … having an affair, or something,” Christy said. “Nick isn’t the kind of guy who cheats.”
Cassidy pursed her lips. “Are you telling me they don’t have feelings for each other?”
Christy tilted her head to the side. “No.”
“Well, thanks for being honest,” Cassidy said.
“I’m sorry,” Christy said. “I try not to lie. You should just prepare yourself.”
“For what? Do you think Nick is going to leave me in the dust now that Maddie is back in town? Do you think they’re going to pick up where they left off?” Cassidy was desperate for Christy to tell her she was overreacting.
“You’re a nice woman, Cassidy,” Christy said. “You were never really in the game where Nick was concerned, though.”
“What are you talking about? We’ve been dating for six months.” Cassidy was crushed.
“But he’s been in love with Maddie since he was seventeen,” Christy said.
“They haven’t seen each other in ten years,” Cassidy argued.
“That doesn’t mean they haven’t loved each other all of that time,” Christy said. “Listen, I don’t want to hurt you. Nick doesn’t want to hurt you either. He’s not that kind of guy. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s always been in love with Maddie. You need to … .”
“Prepare myself,” Cassidy said, bitter. “You already told me that.”
“It will be easier to let him go now.”
“I don’t want to let him go,” Cassidy said. “I’m in love with him.”
“But he’s in love with her.”
“He hasn’t said anything like that to me,” Cassidy pointed out. “You can’t possibly know that he’s in love with her.”
“Has he told you that he loves you?” Christy asked, changing tactics.
“No,” Cassidy hedged.
“Have you told him that you love him?”
Cassidy nodded, her lower lip trembling.
“And how does he respond when you say it?” Christy asked.
“He … changes the subject.” Christy pressed her lips together, and Cassidy could read the sympathy on the woman’s round face. She hated it. She hated the pity. “I’m not giving up on him,” she said, resolute.
“Okay,” Christy said. “That’s your decision.”
Cassidy turned her attention back to the street, her heart sinking when she saw Nick wrap his arm around Maddie’s shoulders so he could lead her in the opposite direction from the crime scene. She watched them go – they seemed lost in their own little world, their heads bent together as they talked – and her heart broke.
She knew, deep down, that Christy was right. That didn’t mean she was going to let Nick just walk away and run into the arms of the town’s resident bombshell. No, what she had to do was step up her game. Cassidy was determined to claim Nick as her own, and she wasn’t going to let Maddie stand in her way. Nothing was going to stand in her way.
Seven
“Thanks for giving me a ride home,” Maddie said, shifting in the passenger seat of Nick’s truck and fixing him with a small smile as they idled. “You didn’t have to. I would’ve walked. It was only a few blocks.”
“You were a little shaken up,” Nick said. “I don’t blame you. It’s not every day that you stumble across a dead body – especially in Blackstone Bay.”
“No,” Maddie agreed, rubbing her temple to ward off an imminent headache. “You expect it in the city. You don’t expect it here.”
Nick smirked. “Did you see a lot of dead bodies when you were down south?”
“Just a few,” Maddie murmured.
Nick stilled. “Are you being serious? I can’t tell.”
Maddie shook her head. “Oh, sorry, I was just … .”
“Maddie, tell me what you were just thinking,” Nick prodded.
Maddie searched his face, fighting the urge to reach out and touch it. When they were younger, she couldn’t stop herself from touching him. Even now, that’s all she really wanted to do. “I was just thinking that my life is … a mess.”
“Why?”
“Because I made it that way,” Maddie replied, shrugging.
“How?”
Maddie averted her eyes from his. It made it easier to fight the urge to touch him. “You know, when I left Blackstone Bay, I had no intention of coming back. I thought … I thought it would be so much easier to start a new life in a place where no one knew me. I just didn’t want to be … me.”
“What was so bad about being you, Mad? I happened to like you a great deal.”
“You were the only one.”
“That’s not true,” Nick said.
“It is,” Maddie said. “All I had was you, and Mom, and Granny … and a world of people who looked down on me.”
Nick rolled his neck, cracking it as he bobbed his head. “Maddie, I’m not saying that growing up here was easy for you, but it wasn’t as hard as you seem to remember. I know there were some girls – stupid Marla Proctor – who terrorized you. They didn’t hate you because they looked down on you, though. They hated you because they were jealous of you. You just don’t seem to realize it. That’s high school, though. You’re an adult now.”
“I don’t feel like an adult,” Maddie said, pushing the rest of his statement out of her mind so she could mull it over later.
“What made you decide to come home?” Nick asked. “Was it really just because Olivia died?”
“No,” Maddie said. “I’ve spent the past five years wanting to come home.”
“You have?” Nick seemed surprised. “Why didn’t you just come home then?”
“I was scared to,” Maddie admitted.
“What’s so scary, Mad?”
Maddie didn’t answer him, at least not head on. “When I left, I didn’t think I was running away from anything. I really didn’t. I thought I was running toward something.”
“What were you running toward?”
“Freedom.”
“And did you find that?�
�
“Not in the least,” Maddie said. “I found … nothing. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. Once I was out in the real world, I just wanted to … come home.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I was scared to see you,” Maddie said, her voice small.
Nick shifted in his seat. “Why? Was it because of the way you left?”
“I need you to know, I never meant to hurt you,” Maddie said, lifting her tear-filled eyes so they were even with his. “I just thought it would be easier. I used to sit by the phone and wait for you to call when I was in college. It was … painful. Then we’d talk for twenty minutes, and I would be miserable the whole week waiting for you to call again.”
“I wasn’t happy either,” Nick said. “I missed you. I missed you a heck of a lot more when you stopped taking my phone calls.”
“I thought a clean break would be easier for both of us,” Maddie said. “I knew you would have no problem moving on.”
“Then you didn’t know me at all,” Nick said, his body stiffening.
Maddie took that as her cue to leave. “I really am sorry, Nicky. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. You’re one of the only three people in my life I’ve ever … loved. I’m sorry.”
Maddie climbed out of the truck and slammed the door quickly, cutting off any response Nick might have. She didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t hear it. She was just … overwhelmed.
Maddie raced toward the house, her mind registering the sound of Nick’s truck as it backed out of the driveway, but her heart was racing so fast she felt like she was about to pass out. It took every ounce of energy she had not to turn around and beg him to stay. He wasn’t hers, not anymore. Well, truth be told, he’d never really been hers.
That didn’t stop her from missing him – or desperately dreaming of a life where they were together.
It just wasn’t in the cards. She had to move on.
NICK wanted to chase her. He wanted to grab her. He wanted to shake her. He wanted to … kiss her until her lips were raw. Dammit!
Nick didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he slammed his truck into reverse and sped out of her driveway. He didn’t make it far. He pulled his truck to the side of the road about a hundred feet away – in a spot where he knew the trees would hide his vehicle should Maddie look out the windows – and then he lowered his forehead to the steering wheel.
Grave Homecoming (A Maddie Graves Mystery Book 1) Page 5