by K. S. Adkins
“As much as I wanted to believe that, son, you were engaged to another woman.”
“A woman I didn’t love,” I countered.
“Perhaps not, but I couldn’t risk her like that.”
“Why tell me this now?”
“Because I want what’s best for my daughter and that’s you, son.”
“All those years you never once mentioned her name in front of me.”
“And I’m apologizing for that.”
“You really think I’m what’s best for her?”
Facing me, Drake clasps my forearm tight and says, “I know you are.”
Returning the gesture, I pull him close and finally did what needed to be done.
I let the past go.
It’s funny the minute details that escape you when you’re in the moment. Like the night Axle was seated at the bar watching me work the Beach Bash. It was a yearly thing, right smack in the middle of winter. With the heat cranked up and sand on the floor, students and locals alike dressed in their summer gear and drank fruity shit. Shit I hated making because it was diabetes in a cup.
I was in the middle of doing my fifth shot, courtesy of one of my regulars who loved flashing his money. Throwing it back and lining up another line, Axle leaves his stool to whisper in my ear.
“Ease up on the vodka, Drew.”
At the time it irritated me that he didn’t think I could handle myself. Wanting to prove to him I could, I whispered back, “It’ll take a lot more than this to put me on my ass, Axle.”
“I said ease up,” he growled taking the shot glass from me and slamming it back. Shaking his head in frustration he looks down at me and mumbled, “Water.”
Leveling him with an I told you so look, I smack him on the ass and grinned up at him, “Water.”
Mingling was exhausting.
Being that I sucked at remembering people’s names, I did my best to play along, take photos and talk my best shit.
Thanks to my mom, I had a fresh drink that I wanted to slam, but resisted. Seeing Darius with Axle worried me but I wasn’t able to get over to him to handle it. Luckily, Darius didn’t stick around.
I also saw my crew but have yet to have a second to speak with them either. Fortunately, Axle picked up the slack on that front too. The man had my back at all times and all I wanted to do was kick these heels off and spend time with him.
Now heading upstairs for my speech and dancing, I let Abram know that it was time for him to take over and run interference for me. I’ve had no time for my parents or Axle and this was me making the effort. Holding up my finger to halt people from speaking to me, I see Axle’s back and stop. Standing there in an expensive gown with a flute of champagne in my hand, I didn’t just fall, I did a full header. As he stood there unaware of my presence, I watched him talk to my dad like he’s done a hundred times before. When he hugged him I felt my chest tighten. When he looked casually over his shoulder, I knew it wasn’t to scan the room, but to look for me. This was his signature move.
It wasn’t obvious, it was habit. He will never stop searching for me…
Without any effort at all, I tuned out the crowd and tuned in to him.
The moment I let go of the emotion I’d been fighting, the feeling in my chest released, leaving me light headed. If I had a bible, I’d swear on it that I had even swayed. The concrete as he called it, disintegrated. My love for him was so right I felt like I was floating. I never thought I’d feel like this again, but I should have had faith in Axle.
From this moment on, I would never doubt him again.
I knew in my soul the hurt I suffered was for a reason. How would I ever know what true love was if I didn’t understand heartbreak? How would either of us know the importance of this if we hadn’t lost it?
Years ago I wanted Axle. The woman frozen in place tonight, didn’t only want him, she needed him. He must have felt it too because when he looked over his shoulder again, the expression on his face was fierce.
Excusing himself from my dad, who was over the moon about Axle in every way, I follow his every movement.
Catching Shane’s eye who was flirting with a server, I waved and he winked.
Just as I found my footing, I was ready to run to him when Abram reminded me that I had a speech to give.
Making my way to the stage, I didn’t reach for the index cards that I had written.
Tonight I would speak from the heart instead.
Clearing my throat, I thank everyone for coming and when the applause ends, I began.
“I once was asked why I obsessed over history and at the time, my response was; true history never dies, it lives on forever with the people who remember it. If you’ve visited Bennett’s, Siena’s, Trash Tavern or even, The Hole, you might better understand my obsession. However, the concept behind Legacy wasn’t about our city’s history, but my own. Important history I had thought forever lost to me. Legacy was my way of always remembering the man who dared me to dream. A man I never thought I would see again. Ladies and gentleman, I’ve had two dreams come true tonight. You’re standing in the first but, I’m looking at the second.” Fighting back the tears I swallow hard, smile down to him and say, “Axle Rhodes, you are my dream come true.”
“Drew,” he chokes out reaching for me. For the second time in my life, I leapt. Uncaring of who saw me, I fell into his arms and whispered, “Surprise.”
“I have no words,” he says as the tears roll down his cheeks. Using the pads of my thumbs to wipe them away, I confess, “Legacy is you.”
“No,” he says holding me close. “It’s us.”
Amidst the cheers, Axle dips me placing the sweetest kiss on my neck.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Abram says tapping my shoulder. “But the mayor is leaving.”
Who cares? Was my private thought but my verbal response to Axle was, “Give me five?”
“I’ll give you an eternity as long as you come back.”
Love. This. Man!
Unfortunately, the mayor felt chatty and it took nearly a half hour.
Locking on Axle’s profile again, I felt my skin break out into goosebumps as he spoke with the band.
The musicians I hired to play tonight were exceptional. When they begin to play The Temptations My Girl, he came to me slipping his arm around my waist. Without speaking any words, I melt into Axle allowing him to lead us. Slowly and perfectly, we danced and the crowd ceased to exist. The camera flashes faded away and it was just like we used to be. In this moment, I was nineteen again with my whole life ahead of me.
“You were right,” I say for his ears only.
“What was I right about?”
“Tuning the world out is a beautiful thing.”
“Drew,” he says with pure love. Because that’s what he was, always had been for me. Whether in the garage listening to metal, dancing in his dorm room, or here on this marble floor with him wearing a suit, Axle was still my world.
“My life wasn’t right without you in it, Axle.”
“Mine either.”
“I’m tuning it all out,” I say holding him tighter. “I’m ready to be her again.”
“Hey,” he says cupping my face. “I told you, you’ve always been her.”
“I missed you,” I whisper up to him. “Thank you for finding that file.”
“Thank you for being a felon.”
Laughing hard, he pushes me out for a twirl then brings me back into the safety of his arms. With the world tuned out, Axle sang to me.
Well, I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way?
My girl
Talkin’ ‘bout my girl
When he takes my mouth, I wrap my arms around his neck allowing him to pick me up off the floor. Deepening the kiss, I didn’t even notice the song ended until I heard the cheers. Lowering me down to my feet, he keeps me close in protection while we take in the crowd’s approval. Fighting back a laugh, I look up at my man and say, “When I tune shit out, I tune shit out.
”
“I reap the benefits,” he smiles touching my cheek. “So I’m not complaining.”
From that moment on, Axle never left my side. He tried, stating he didn’t want to get in the way but I made it clear, he was right where he belonged.
Funny thing about assuming. You wouldn’t look at Axle and think he was a guy who liked to dance. But you’d be wrong.
He loved it.
My mom had snagged him for a few songs, I snagged him back for a few more and then I zeroed in on Shane.
After wearing him out, I danced with my dad, Abram, and Tiny.
Tiny, who kept trying to tell me something, but couldn’t get the words out.
When Carrie approached looking terrified, I figured it out and honestly, had no problem with it.
She wasn’t a threat to me and she was into Tiny. I put her in his path so it would be wrong to kick her off of it. Judging by the look on Tiny’s face, Carrie explained my man was her ex and he feared my wrath.
“It’s cool, Tiny,” I say squeezing his massive shoulder.
“Thanks,” he says softly but it comes out as a boom.
“Hey, Carrie,” I say moving back so Tiny can step in. “Thanks for coming.”
“This,” she tries. “I mean, it’s okay?”
“No,” Axle says taking my hand and cutting me off. “It’s not.”
“Oh,” she says crestfallen.
“It’s more than okay,” I make clear giving Axle the look. “You and Tiny enjoy yourselves. Give her the tour too.”
“Right,” he says gently leading her away. But it was clear she was uncomfortable. However, I also had a feeling she might look like that all the time.
“They’re into each other,” I say sweetly. “We’re into each other, shit worked out, right? Everyone’s happy.”
“You just have to save everyone, don’t you?”
“Tiny needs to be the hero,” I grin mischievously. “And if anyone needs a hero, it’s her.”
“What she needs is a therapist.”
“What’s her deal?” I ask looping my arm around him.
“Honestly? I never cared enough to ask.”
“Ouch.”
“I tuned her ass out, Drew. I’d really appreciate it if you’d do the same.”
“Alright,” I agree out of respect for him. “Consider her un-tuned.”
“Thank fuck,” he says pulling me back to the dance floor where we tuned out the world for another two hours.
Watching her sleep was fast becoming an obsession. It’s also the only time she fully let her guard down. When she shifts, she clutches me and I liked to believe it’s because she needed me close. Running my fingers through her hair I whispered, “What’s holding you back from me, Drew?” Because something was.
“Fear,” she said softly and I felt her breath on my chest.
“Of?”
“Losing you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I vowed to her.
“Nine years ago I thought the same thing, only I ran before getting answers. I’ve run so long, that I don’t know if I have what it takes to stop.”
“The question is; do you want to stop?”
“Yes,” A single word that said everything.
“Then I trust you to know when to stop.”
Eventually I was going to have to explain Carrie in more detail, but with Drew grinding on my cock, now was not that time. Keeping pace with her was not easy, the woman could fuck. With her fingers dug deep in my shoulders, dress around her waist, still wearing those heels and sweat coating her skin, she rode me hard.
The house was quiet. No music, no TV, just us.
It was pushing four a.m. but neither of us were close to sleep. She was high from the opening and I was high on her.
Throwing her head back she cries out, “Spank me.”
The slap was crisp, her moan, long and beautiful.
“Again,” she begs on a wail.
This one was harder, louder, and her moan echoed off the bare walls.
“Tight,” I say grabbing her hips. “I’m in there, Drew.”
“Watch me fuck you,” she says palming her tits. “Watch me fuck your cock.”
“God damn,” I groan watching her work me. “Harder, Drew.”
“You like this pussy?”
“Love it,” I groan taking a nipple in my mouth.
Arching back, she works her hips and watches me suck on her nipples. Digging my fingers deeper into her hips to keep her still, I confess, “Love you, Drew.”
Slowing down and with the softest look on her face she whispers, “I love you, Axle.”
“Don’t say it if –”
“I love you with everything I am.”
“Fuck. Truly?”
“Yes, truly. As much as I tried to forget you, leave you in the past, I never quite managed it.”
“When? When did it happen?”
“The second I tuned back in,” she says softly. “When I saw your profile, I saw you holding a drink and laughing with my dad. When you searched for me in the crowd. The past didn’t matter, the hurt didn’t either. I saw you and realized I loved you then, I loved you now, and I’ll love you always. I’m done running. Consider my track shoes, pitched.”
“My woman loves me,” I growl lifting her up with me and taking her to the bed and spreading her out. “Fuck, I waited a long time to hear you to say that.”
“You had to know,” she says looping her arms around my neck.
“I knew it’s what you wanted to say back then,” I admit coming to kneel between her legs. “But hearing it now…”
“Yeah,” she smiles for me.
“I don’t want to fuck anymore, Drew.”
“Tell me you’re joking, Austin Pounds-her,” she frowns which was adorable.
Taking myself in hand and lining up, I tell her, “I want to make love to you, sandwich maker.”
“Oh,” she sniffs. “Okay then.”
Just before sliding in I promise her, “You won’t regret loving me.”
“Axle,” she moans deep. “The only regret I have was not turning back around.”
“I shouldn’t have let you go.”
“You couldn’t have stopped me.”
“But now I’ve caught you and I’m not above cuffing your ass.” Lowering my head, I kiss her, pouring everything I was into it. Latching on to me, I slide inside of Drew and proceed to make love to her. Deeply, with each surge bringing us closer to the edge, we watch each other come. This was the second time in my life that Drew gave me a gift. There were no barriers, no concrete, and she’d stopped running.
Next up, making shit legal…
Lying in my arms, with her leg thrown over mine, I kiss her temple. “What’s on your mind?” she asks curling into me.
“Carrie,” I sigh knowing it was time to talk it out.
“Would you like to try that again or do you want me to nut you?”
“She has issues, Drew.”
“We all do.”
“The reason I’m telling you this is, she’s a clinger. At first you want to help her because you feel sorry for her but then she hangs on so tight you can’t breathe. Just when you catch your breath, she tries killing herself so she can choke the life out of you all over again.”
“She’s suicidal?”
“Fuck,” I groan unsure how to answer. “I don’t know. I mean, she tried a few times while we were married and really went for it when I filed. As long as I took her back, she was happy, she was level. Trust me, it didn’t take much to send her over the edge. Pills, she took a shit load of ‘em, but nothing lethal. Just enough to guilt me into sticking around.”
“Fuck me,” she mumbles at the news.
“Carrie does not need a hero, Drew. She wouldn’t know a hero if it bit her in the ass. Me, Tiny, who the fuck ever, are crutches for her. She needs to learn to stand on her own. She always refused help. Said as long as I stayed, she’d change for me and I was all the help she needed.”<
br />
“Not good,” she says sitting up. “Tiny is all about her.”
“Women like her make a man feel useful. Women like her also wear a man down. You can’t love someone who can’t love themselves. I didn’t give a shit about her but her parents gave even less of a shit than I did. She is not stable and she is also not our problem either. Neither of us want to be around when that shit blows up.”
“Fair enough,” she says settling back into me. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
“I didn’t help matters,” I admit quietly. “When she’d go all dark on me, I’d tell her, if she were you I wouldn’t be dealing with that shit. Because you handled your shit and that she could learn from you.”
“Axle…”
“Punished her for not being you, Drew, and that’s on me.”
“We’re going to have to work on the guilt you’re carrying, Axle. Enough is enough.”
“Yeah,” I mumble knowing she was right.
“On a lighter note,” she says kissing my chest. “What did you think of Legacy?”
“Besides being the inspiration behind it?”
“Oh here we go,” she laughs. “Yes, captain modest, besides that.”
“Speaking of nicknames. I’m going to start calling you Midas since everything you touch turns to gold.”
Wrapping her hand around my cock she sits up, leans in licking the crown and asks, “Everything, huh?” before taking me into her mouth.
A man who knows his way around a grocery store is sexy.
A man who can also plan a meal and cook might be getting a blow job on the ride back too.
“What’s with the look?” he asked with a cocky grin.
“I’m horny,” I shrugged easily.
“Yeah, I know,” he groaned. “You started looking at me like that when I was picking peppers.”
Since the Impala didn’t have seat belts, I face him and stare at his crotch practically salivating.
“You want to suck my dick while I drive, don’t you?”
“Axle,” I said biting my lip. “I want to suck you so bad I could steer your ride with the back of my head right now.” For the record, the blow job and dinner were both delicious.