Addison stood up and stared at me. This wasn’t the same girl I’d forced to come home with me. This was the one I fell in love with – the one I never wanted to let go of.
We finished rinsing off, and then together, walked into the bedroom area. Addison sat down on the edge of the mattress, spreading her legs enough for me to stand inside of them. I got down on my knees on the floor in front of her and pressed my mouth to hers. Her tongue traced around mine, bringing the hunger to a maximum for me. I let my two fingers slide inside of her, feeling where my dick was about to be. “I don’t have protection.” No more lies. That’s what I promised myself. I wasn’t going to pretend I was prepared for this, because I wasn’t.
She didn’t back away from my kisses. “I don’t care.”
“It’s not safe. I’ll pull out.”
“Okay.”
“When I say stop, you need to slow down, okay? No pushing it to the limit. I can’t hold out, not with you.”
She backed up on the bed, almost like she was taunting me to follow. Her eyes showed me nothing but intent, and I was simply taken back by the change in her. She’d finally snapped. It’s how I knew our connection hadn’t been some silly infatuation. It was real, intense, deep, and without a doubt real love.
I hovered overtop of her, dipping down only to taste her pussy again. I spread her legs wider, watching it as I lowered my mouth to drag my lips against hers. She was wet, almost dripping with anticipation. I wanted to make her come again. No, I needed to. She had to be shown all the reasons being with me could bring her fulfillment. I had to throw in all my cards and pray they were enough to keep her.
I sucked hard on her pussy, my only gain was to make it more sensitive. Her clit was easily flickable, so I did it a few times until she began bucking. That’s when I knew she was ready for me. I rose up to be face to face and let nature guide the way for us. With little effort I found her hole and applied force. I slid inside of her tight walls easily, immediately overwhelmed by emotions. This wasn’t just makeup sex, not for either of us.
She was letting go and being with me. This not only told me she was weak, but also how hard it had been for her to give up on our short-lived relationship.
I took my time, setting a slow pace so it would last. We continued kissing and holding each other. It was difficult imagining having to let go, because I knew there was a chance I’d lose her all over again. “Say you’ll stay.” I kept up with my pace while I asked. “Tell me we can be together.”
She nodded.
I kissed her again, this time feeling emotional. “We’ll figure it out. We can’t let other people make the choice for us. You feel so right, precious.”
We made love until neither of us could move. Afterwards, she lay in my arms sleeping. I felt like she was meant to be there. I may have been the only person to see it that way, but it was how I perceived it.
By two in the morning her phone was blowing up. Addison separated herself from my hold and rushed to answer it. I sat up expecting her to change her mind again. Our eyes met and I watched her sigh. “I’m not coming home tonight. I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I’m at Sammy’s. I didn’t answer the phone because I was in the movies and left my phone on silent. I know. I’m sorry. I’m fine. I promise. Ok. Bye Mom.”
She put her phone back in her purse and turned to face me. “I just lied to my parents.”
“Will they buy it?”
“Yeah. I’ve stayed at Sammy’s before. I think she wanted to hear my voice.”
“Come here.” I held out my arms for her to join me. When she hit the bed I pulled her against me. “Let’s pretend it’s only us. There’s no family holding us back from being together.”
“It’s sounds nice,” she admitted.
“It is.”
“How are we going to do this, Cole? I mean, we can’t sneak around forever. What happens when someone sees us? We can’t be happy hiding.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“Why can’t my parents see what I see in you? If they gave you a chance they’d know you’re not anything like your family.”
“I don’t blame them. I hate my family too.” I adjusted a bit. “Do you remember when you picked me up from the hospital and we went out to breakfast? I made you leave the first place, but I wouldn’t tell you why.”
“I remember.”
“My mother was our waitress – my birth mother. It’s been over ten years since I saw her last. I’m sure she didn’t recognize me, but I couldn’t sit there and pretend all was right with the world. That woman is a monster. I want nothing to do with her.”
“I’m sorry, Cole. That must have been difficult.”
“I knew coming back it was bound to happen, I just didn’t know how soon. She looked different, but yet the same. Drugs really took a toll on her.”
“Drugs.” Addison rolled over out of my arms. She balled her body up and remained quiet for a second. “I was so close to using. How could I let myself become weak again? It’s just like right now with you, I’m weak. We know we shouldn’t be together, but I can’t stop myself. It’s like you’re a new addiction.”
“I’m not though. I’m a real person who cares about you. As long as we’re together I’ll keep you safe. I won’t let you slip. No one has to know about what you did earlier.”
She finally turned around. “I didn’t do it. I didn’t even taste it. I would have if you hadn’t stopped me. It’s like you were supposed to show up and save me from myself.”
I laughed. “I don’t believe in that kind of shit, Addison. It was just a lucky coincidence.”
“What if it wasn’t? What if all this was meant to bring us together? What if this was fate? Think about how we met, how we feel. People look their whole lives to connect like we do. I didn’t go looking for you. I was content with my life, but the moment you weren’t there anymore I wanted to fall apart. I couldn’t function. That’s not normal, and if I didn’t think you weren’t going through the same thing I’d just assume I was naïve and a little crazy. But you do feel the same, don’t you? It hurts to be apart, so much that you’ll do anything to make it go away.”
“I don’t know if I would have started taking pills, but I definitely felt like shit.”
“The last person you loved, that woman, was it like this?”
I stroked her hair and smiled. “No. It doesn’t even compare, and back then I thought it was everything. Now I know better. It’s why I couldn’t tell you the truth. I was scared.”
She nestled her body into mine again. “We have to find a way to be together, even if we have to leave Kentucky.”
I grabbed both of her cheeks and stared at her. “What are you saying?”
“If they can’t accept us, we’ll leave this place behind. How will we ever know if this is worth it until we try?”
“I already know it’s worth it.”
“I have to be sure.”
I placed my lips on her forehead. “As long as we’re together I don’t care where we go. We’ll be a team.”
She started to laugh. “I’m supposed to be your sponsor. For this whole relationship you’ve been mine.”
“It’s my pleasure. It feels nice to be the hero.”
“Don’t let me fall, Cole. Just don’t let me fall.”
It was the last words she spoke to me before falling asleep. Once I heard her breathing even out I let my eyes close and found comfort with her in my arms. This was how it should be. Why couldn’t we live our lives the way we wanted? Why, as adults, were we still being treated like teens?
It wasn’t fair. I know life isn’t sometimes, but this was wrong. We deserved a chance just like everyone else. This time I’d make it work. I didn’t care about the hurdles we’d have to jump through. Addison was mine. It was time the whole world knew it. Instead of taking one step forward and two back I was going to figure out a way to forge through. Her family didn’t think we were meant to be. Who would blame them? I’d figure out a way to
change their minds. I had to.
Chapter 22
Addison
Waking up in his arms was the best feeling. It was hard knowing we had to get up and go about our day. Cole dropped me off at my car, but only after I promised him I’d be back that night with him. I’d made my mind up this time. My parents weren’t going to make my choices for me. I was in love with Cole Chase. I wanted to be with him, no matter what I had to do.
As soon as I walked in the house I could tell they were checking me out. I pretended to be depressed to keep them from knowing where I’d been. The truth was in my heart, so full and optimistic. It was amazing how the pain was gone. Everything I’d been feeling had now turned into hope for a future. I trusted if I fell he’d catch me.
Trust – it was such a big word. It took him lying for me to understand how important it was. Cole no longer had secrets. He’d even told me about his birth mother, and how he’d felt the moment he saw her again. That is a big deal for him, and a turning point for me. I knew he was giving me his all, and I respected him for it.
That’s why I knew I had to tell my parents where I stood. They couldn’t dictate my life. While they were sitting around the kitchen table I stood in the doorway. “I need to talk to you both, and I don’t want you to say anything until I’m done. I’ve thought about this for a while and I need to get it off my chest.”
“We’re listening,” mom replied.
This was it. This was where I took control of my life. “I’m in love with Cole Chase.” My father went to stand up but my mother reached across the table and put her hand over his. “Colt wait.”
I continued. “I know you’ll never understand it, and I don’t expect you to. I just can’t lie about it. What we have is real. It’s not about what his blood relatives did to our family. He didn’t even know them.”
“It’s DNA. He’s no different.”
“Daddy, the bible says not to judge, but isn’t that exactly what you’re doing? You don’t know Cole. You don’t know anything about him.”
“I know all I need to know.”
I refused to stand down. “I spent the night with him last night, and I’m going to stay there again. You can either accept it or push me away. No matter what you decide my decision remains. You won’t stop this from happening.”
“This is bullshit!” My father never cussed at the table. It was an unspoken rule. His eyes widened and focused on mine. His fists were tight, and I knew I was about to get his wrath. “If you undermine me you’re out of here, do you understand me? You’re not going to come into this house and tell me you’re going against me. This is not happening. That’s the end of it, Addison. You will not see him again.”
My mother remained silent. I could tell she knew I was about to run – to go to the man who made it better, the one I wanted to build a future with.
“You barely know him,” she mentioned.
“It’s no different than you and Daddy. You told me yourself. You said you knew you loved him immediately.”
“It not the same,” my father interrupted.
“Yes it is!” I slammed my hands down on the table. “It’s exactly the same. You weren’t supposed to love Mom, but you couldn’t help yourself. How dare you come down on me for expressing my feelings. I know what love is, and what I have with Cole is real. You can’t change it. You can’t control it. For once this is out of your hands. My decision is made. I’m going to be with him.”
My father remained staring at me. “If you go to him you’re no longer welcome on this ranch.”
“Colt, please. You don’t mean that.” My mom’s heart was breaking, but if I let my guard down he’d win.
“I mean it. If you choose that boy over us we’re done. I won’t financially support you in any way. You’re on your own.”
“Fine,” I said as the tears started pouring out. “If that’s how it has to be.”
“When he hurts you, and trust me he will, don’t come crying to me for forgiveness. This is the one thing I’ll never be able to forgive.”
My father was a hard headed man. He got it naturally, according to my Gram, but I never expected he’d hurt me the way he had. While my mother cried he stood there telling me to be sure my decision was the right one before I walked out the door. In some ways I knew it wasn’t goodbye forever, but it sure did feel like it.
My dad walked out after I’d gone upstairs, but not before laying into my mom for refusing to be supportive of his decision. Knowing my mom, she was more worried about me having a relapse.
Once I’d packed a suitcase, I headed downstairs and found her sobbing in the kitchen. “I’m sorry Mom. This is hurting me too. It’s not fair. I should be allow to love who I want.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I just wish it was easier for us to understand. Why him? Your father is never going to understand. He thinks you’re doing this on purpose.”
“Last night I bought an eight-ball of coke and was about to snort it before Cole found me. He was pumping gas near where I was parked in my car. I’d told him we couldn’t be together. I didn’t have anyone to talk to. No one understands what it’s like being with him. I’m not talking about the sex. I wouldn’t even care if it never happened. He makes me happy. He makes me better. I can’t explain it. When I’m with him I’m not an addict. I’m just me. I tried to stay away from him. I swear I did. I can’t anymore though. It’s not fair to deny myself happiness. I don’t blame you for being angry, but I have to do this.”
“What your father said isn’t the truth. You always have a home here. Always,” she repeated as she stood up and hugged me. “Please call me and let me know you’re okay. Don’t do what Cassie has done to her parents.”
“I’ll call you, Mom. I’m not hiding. I’m deciding to live for me. I love you and Daddy. Please tell him that. He might not love me at the moment,” I had to stop because I was beginning to sob. “But I’ll never stop loving him.”
“He loves you always. He’s angry. He’d never want you thinking that.”
I smiled and rested my head on my mom’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you. I know if you could you’d be there. I don’t blame you. His uncle almost took your life. He put our whole family in danger. Cole knows why you feel the way you do. We just wish you’d give him the opportunity to show you he’s nothing like them. It’s not in the DNA like Dad says. Some people are a reflection of their upbringing. Cole was taken from his mother when he was ten. She basically abandoned him way before then. You’d know that if you gave him a chance.”
I couldn’t stand there anymore and listen to my mom breaking down. She was torn. The woman went through hell because of that family. If anyone had the right to hate the Chase family it was her. As unfortunate as it was, I couldn’t change her mind.
By the time I pulled into the motel Cole was waiting for me outside. He was on his cell phone leaning against the brick wall. He hung up when I approached him and pulled me into his arms as soon as he saw the suitcase in my backseat. “Oh precious, I’m sorry.”
“We knew it would be this way.”
“Yeah, but I feel responsible.”
“It’s our decision. We made it together. I’ll be okay. My dad said a lot of things that hurt me. I guess I deserved some of it.”
He lifted my chin to look at him. I could tell Cole was concerned about me. “One day they’ll see I’m not the bad guy. We need to take it one day at a time until then.”
“I can’t believe I moved out of my house to live with a guy I’ve barely known for a month. This is crazy, isn’t it?”
Cole shook his head. “No. I guess it’s different for me. I’ve somehow always been on my own. I know it’s new for you. It must be hard, but how will we know if we don’t try? I got the trailer, by the way. That was the landlord on the phone. We can move in this weekend if you want.”
It did make me feel better. At least we wouldn’t be stuck in a motel, struggling until I could find a job. “I won’t be able to help
much with rent. My dad cut me off. He says if I’m with you I get nothing. That means he won’t pay for my college class either.”
“Don’t you think he’s trying to scare you into staying? He doesn’t mean it right?”
I rolled my eyes. “You really don’t know my dad.”
“Don’t worry,” he said as he rubbed my shoulders. “We’ll figure it out. I can handle the rent. It’s nothing. As long as you’re happy I’m good with paying for everything.”
“I don’t want you to have to do that.”
“Addison, I love you. I want you with me. There’s no arguing over it.”
I decided not to fight with him. I’d already made enough people hate me for one day.
Aside from my sister calling a thousand times a during the week, I spoke to my mom at least once every two or three days. I’d call when I knew my dad wasn’t around. According to her, he hadn’t budged. As long as I was with Cole, we were unwelcome on the ranch.
We moved into the trailer on a Friday evening. It was pretty easy since neither of us had much to our names. Cole managed to finance furniture for a bedroom, living room and kitchen. He finished the leg piece on the guy who bartered the motorcycle, and took the rest of what he’d saved to get us a television, dishes, linens, and groceries.
The same weekend we moved we went to yard sales. I found pictures and décor to add to the walls for next to nothing. Cole scored a few pieces of exercise equipment for the spare bedroom, so we could work out without having to pay for a gym membership. He’d been getting me up early every morning to run with him. It was becoming easier, and he was right, I definitely didn’t feel as stressed when we exercised together. Once the satellite was hooked up it wasn’t so bad sitting around the house when I wasn’t doing volunteer work for the hospital, or school work at the library, since we didn’t have internet at the trailer yet.
My brother paid me a visit four weeks after we’d moved in. At first I thought my dad had sent him to bring me home. I’d still not spoken a word to him, but my mother had told me how angry he still was about the whole ordeal.
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