Maybe he should not have made the offer to wait, but traveling up north was a long trip, and Rik must have been exhausted. Leevi wasn’t a total brute, so he sympathized with the man’s need for rest.
Also, though it was pure anguish to be so close to someone he could not keep, he wanted to hold on to Rik for as long as he could. Leevi felt conflicted, and his actions were proof of that. Not to mention the fact that by keeping Rik here under his roof and setting out to rescue this English woman Leevi was in effect going against Clan Law. He should summon the Council and inform them of the situation so they could, in unison, make an informed decision, but there was a chance they would not believe there was any real danger to Summer, and an even greater likelihood that they would waste too much time before acting, resulting in her death.
No, this was the only swift course of action available, damn the consequences.
Staring at everything else in the familiar room besides the other man who stood there, Leevi waited for a reaction. He may have been the Prime Alpha, but with Rik he had no strength of will. Rik was his love, and as such held control over him. For Leevi, so used to wielding power, this was not a comfortable position to be in.
“Damn. I knew it. Okay, if you believe she’s not in any immediate danger, we’ll go at first light.” That said, Rik spun around on his heels and made his way back to the kitchen, fishing the frying pan out of the sink and continuing to work on dinner. Leevi would rather have cut off his arm than join him, so he went upstairs to bed hungry.
****
Unable to sleep a wink, Leevi watched the red light of the alarm clock move slowly from 2:12 A.M. to 2:13 A.M. Sighing, he felt despondent and alone. Where his heart had once beat now was a hollow space. He longed for Rik to fill it, like he once had, but, after all was said and done, Leevi knew it was too late to wish for what could never be.
A light knock came from the door.
Leevi jumped in shock, realizing he’d been so wrapped up in his own head-space that he’d missed the nearing scent of his mate.
Without waiting for a reply, Rik opened the door and came in, carrying a small tray. “You must be hungry. I brought you dinner.” He laid the tray down on the nightstand and stood by, watching in defiance at what Leevi would do.
“Thanks,” Leevi managed to murmur as he swung his bare legs from under the covers and sat up on the edge of the bed, reaching for the plate filled with minced-meat steaks and mashed potatoes with carrots and peas, all microwaved.
As Leevi stuffed his face with food, Rik stood for a moment, as if undecided, before he sat down next to him. “You must realize that me leaving had nothing to do with how I felt for you. How I still feel for you. I had to go. You do understand that, right?”
The plea in Rik’s voice did not go unnoticed by Leevi, who sighed. “I do.”
Yes, Rik probably did still love him, or at least that’s what Leevi hoped for, but how did that change anything? This wasn’t a question of who loved who more, but a mess born of the lack of trust. Leevi had to admit he shared most of the blame for that. Oh, if only love and knowing another loved you back were enough to sort things out, but alas they weren’t.
Rik’s hand came to rest on Leevi’s thigh, and that old black magic between them sent fireworks exploding hot in his groin. “I’ve missed you.”
Nodding a little, Leevi whispered, “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”
Suddenly Rik chuckled. “You know, it’s not a race.”
That made Leevi finally look at Rik, the man he loved above any other. In the dim light of the full moon through the blinds, Rik appeared glowing and transformed into an ethereal angel. Leevi’s heart ached, but he dared a smile. “I know.”
Rik’s brown eyes fell to his lips, and Leevi felt the old hunger return. His claws began to grow, his eyesight rippled as his vision began to alter, and his gums itched as the impending fangs threatened to burst out. Vehemently he shook his head, forcing the wolf down. It’s just the first night of the full moon. You can fight it.
Deflection and distraction would help, he decided. “So, why this particular girl? Other than her being catnip.”
He was aware that Rik tensed noticeably. “Summer is strong and smart and funny. She’s a sports coach in some university in England.” He sighed ruefully. “I admit I don’t know her that well, and yet I feel like I’ve known her forever.” He dared a glance at Leevi from under his brow. “I felt that way with you too when we met. That’s why I came up north with you.”
“And then I betrayed your trust in me.” Leevi knew it was the truth, but saying it out loud was a sheering pain in his soul.
“Yes, you kind of did,” Rik affirmed, but his hand moved from Leevi’s thigh to find his hand and squeeze gently. “I was so mad at first. I thought I was over it by now, and then you go off the deep end and behave like a fucking jerk.”
“I’m sorry,” Leevi mumbled, ashamed. “I just…seeing you again brings it all back, and I’m not over you. You’re my mate, so I never really will be.” Leevi slowly withdrew his hand. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you are never going to be with me, it’s best you don’t come back here—ever. It hurts too much.” He was certain this was the first time he’d spoken this openly about his feelings, and he didn’t like this sharing one damn bit. But the words rang true nonetheless.
He felt Rik quiver at his side. “It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, even under the circumstances, but I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”
Leevi turned to face him, locking their gazes. “I’ve hurt you twice, once by biting you, once by a lie of omission. I have no more secrets, nothing else that could hurt you. Unless you consider me still being in love with you as a problem.” Grunting gruffly, he added, “Especially now you’ve found your, uh, catnip-woman.”
Shaking his head, Rik said curtly, “Summer is not the problem between us. It’s your expectations of me, and what our relationship should be like. I do love you, Leevi, but you’re not an easy person to be with. You keep all the important stuff bottled up inside. You may be the Prime Alpha of the clan, but by shutting me out we’re not equals in the relationship. And as a Prime’s mate, I should be equal with you, shouldn’t I? As much as I may enjoy submitting to you in bed, I can’t be your slave-boy out of bed.”
To his credit, Leevi actually stopped to think about what Rik claimed. As an alpha wolf, Leevi had expected that Rik concede to his wishes in all matters, in and out of bed, but apparently nothing could be farther from the truth. “Are you, um, more assertive with, er, that woman?”
“Her name is Summer, and we were equals in bed, neither trying to gain the upper hand to dominate over the other. Well, I teased her about submitting to me, but it was fun and light and playful.” Silence fell between them, heavy and loaded until Leevi felt Rik’s fingers brush the hairs on his temples. “You have a touch of gray in your hair. You didn’t have them last we met.”
Warmth of familiarity poured over Leevi from Rik’s barest touch, and he shivered. God, how badly he wanted to toss him onto his bed and make love to him.
But that was what had gotten them into trouble in the first place.
Gently, Leevi took Rik’s hand and moved it aside. Only then did he see how Rik’s pupils had dilated with deep desire. The mating bond between them was as strong as ever, he realized, and he was aware that his wolf pheromones were calling out. Yes, he could have Rik tonight, override his sense and fuck him through the mattress.
But Leevi couldn’t do that to Rik. He’d be using his wolf to get what his human side wanted, and not only was it unethical, but the end result would push Rik away completely in the face of yet another betrayal.
“We should get some sleep,” he said in a low voice, intending to soothe Rik’s raging need and quell his own. “We have to get up soon, so goodnight, Rik.”
He didn’t miss the relief that washed over Rik’s face, and knew he’d made the right call. “Goodnight, Leevi.” With a small, tender
peck on Leevi’s cheek, Rik got up and left the room.
Leevi let out the long breath he’d been holding for who knows how long. He’d faced his beast’s craving of his mate and not only survived intact, but come out the victor. Pushing the tray back on the nightstand, he wiggled his way back underneath the covers, closed his weary eyes, and allowed himself the rest he so desperately yearned for. Tranquility was a rarity for beast men, and he had only had it once before, when he had thought he’d live happily ever after with his mate in sweet ignorant bliss. But this time the serenity came from sleep and from the truth that his love didn’t hate his guts after all.
Chapter Seven
“Fuck, it’s cold.”
Leevi rolled his eyes at Rik’s commentary, repeated for the umpteenth time until he was ready to throttle the guy. His mate was shivering noticeably, likely exaggerating the effect, and he was mumbling a few select curses that made Leevi grin.
“Don’t be such a wuss. All that time in centrally-heated Helsinki, being able to go everywhere underground, has made you unfit for the country and the outdoors.”
Rik nudged him with his elbow, hard, as he angrily stomped past Leevi in an attempt to show him his true colors and stamina.
Smiling, Leevi let Rik take the lead for a while. The path to the old fort was winding and not well-trodden as only shifters knew the way there. It had been built by their kind centuries ago and remained hidden in the wilderness, covered up by rock formations, trees, bushes, and moss. No matter what angle one approached from, the construction was virtually undetectable. On top of the rocky ridge, covered by branches and stones, stood the square lookout tower and the small landing behind it, the only parts not underground. But even they were well camouflaged by natural earthworks. No human had discovered the site since its early construction, and only two humans in history had the misfortune of becoming casualties of trespassing and seeing too much.
Stopping, Rik looked around, suspiciously at first, then confused.
“You’ve only been there once,” Leevi reminded him. He had taken Rik on a tour of all the places in clan lands where shifters could seek safe haven in troubled times, and the old fort was one of them. But there were so many hidden sanctuaries in the wilderness that Rik couldn’t possibly recall them all.
Rik turned around, his brow furrowed and his lips a tense line, ready to argue. But then he heaved a resigned sigh and nodded. “You lead.”
The soft humus of the ground was covered with moss and dirt, pine needles and cones, and since there was no clear path—just one only shifters could smell—every step could mean a fall down a moss-covered hole, or a trip on a tree root. With broken ankles they wouldn’t get very far, even if they did heal fast.
Spring heightened the smells of the earth, and all that new life gave a bounce to Leevi’s step and yet distracted his wolf, who wanted to run amok in the wild woods. Birds chirping, minks running around, badgers digging, foxes dashing—too many scents, too much noise. Leevi had to shake his head to clear his senses from the overload. Shifters tended to avoid all-out nature during this season because the instincts of the animal within were too strong to counter.
“How much longer?” Rik whispered, and Leevi heard the same strain in his voice as he too struggled for control of the beast.
They had been on the move since before first light, for an hour, and they were closing in on the rocky hill where the fort was. Finland was riddled with wilderness structures, from Bronze and Iron Age to Medieval and later. However, a hill fort like theirs was different from others as it was intended to keep things hidden instead of acting as a warning. A refuge from the outside world, the old fort was used primarily for emergencies, general storage, shifter women giving birth, raising cubs to control their animal instincts, and to interrogate renegade wolves, outsiders, or lawbreakers.
Soon the fortification came into view. Invisible to all those who weren’t aware of its existence, the tower peeked from the top of the rock face, just barely visible now when the deciduous trees didn’t have leaves and there was no snow to block the sight. The natural, rough contours of the granite hill acted as defensive walls around the underground hideout that held most of its space deep beneath the ground.
The rocky rampart stood over forty feet high and would be hard to climb. The main entrance to the fort was at the peak, the path following the rocky ridge high up, easily defended and concealed. If the two of them approached from that direction there would be zero chance of succeeding undetected, Leevi knew. Their only two other chances included the drain pipe—but they had installed bars there during the First World War—and the lower entrance situated in the hard-to-see crevice along the cliff wall. There were arrow slits and murder holes there, but they had never been used, and Leevi seriously doubted Jaakko had that kind of manpower or defensive inclinations.
The top of the tower-hideout was a crenellated lookout post with a view in all compass points, and it was usually manned, so Leevi was well aware that their approach could be noticed, not by them being seen, but by being heard. The woods and the hills carried sounds almost as well as water.
Crouching down behind tiny pine saplings, Leevi sniffed the air. It had rained a bit during the night so the soil was wet and the strong, pungent smells of the woods would mask their scents. A familiar manly whiff reached his nostrils. “They seem to have Kari on guard duty. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. I think I can handle him with some subterfuge.” Turning to Rik, who had knelt behind him in mimicry of Leevi’s actions, Leevi said, “Could you distract him as I talk to him? I need to get the drop on him, and all I need is a second.” Rik nodded. “Go on then. And Rik? Stay downwind,” Leevi told Rik before the guy headed out into the underbrush.
Rik’s lips pouted. “I know. This ain’t my first rodeo.”
Leevi snorted. “You’ve never been to a rodeo in your life.”
About to start arguing, Rik must have caught the twitch of Leevi’s lips and understood he was being made fun of. In general, it was uncharacteristic of Leevi to joke so easily, but when they had been together, rapport had always been fluid and smooth between them. Rik seemed glad that Leevi felt comfortable enough again to engage in some harmless banter with him. Rik’s face flushed, and he growled. “Asshole,” he mouthed, and flipped Leevi the finger before disappearing into the green. But not before Leevi had spotted the grin Rik had been sporting. Yes, there were still things the two of them were good at. Leevi was glad that their relationship wasn’t broken beyond repair, no matter what the circumstances.
Leevi made sure to shake his clothes a bit to bring out his scent before getting up and approaching the lower entrance, hidden from sight by rocks. He kept his gait firm, fast, and steady to let the guard know someone was coming, and not stealthily either.
And sure enough, a burly man with thick, coarse black hair and copious stubble stepped in his way. His right hand rested on the handle of a hunting knife attached to his leather belt, but as soon as he saw who was advancing, surprise and confusion twisted his face and stilled the motions of his hand. After all, even though the relationship with the Prime Alpha and his former Beta were on the fritz, clan lands were common and neutral ground, and as the leader he could go wherever he pleased. And, as far as Kari knew, perhaps Leevi had come to make amends with Jaakko.
Walking steadfastly right up to the man—and inching closer to the ridge so that the guard had to turn sideways, his back now to the forest—Leevi nodded a silent greeting, his narrowing gaze leaving little doubt of what he was expecting from the lesser wolf. Swallowing, the man bared his neck, a submissive gesture, and then he blinked hard, not having had control over the instinctive move.
Gotcha.
“Kari.” Leevi spoke quietly, almost inaudibly. The low tone forced Kari to lean closer to hear, and it was then that a tiny sound of a breaking twig came from behind them.
The guard turned on his heels, swiftly, like a tornado, but Rik was well out of sight.
And by the
n it was already too late as Leevi wrapped his arms around Kari’s neck in an unrelenting chokehold. The man gurgled something and tried to grab the powerful arm with its fierce hold on him, attempting desperately to dislodge the hand, but unable to do so. Soon his hisses quieted, and his flailing arms slowed and then fell as he slumped down, heavy, unconscious.
Rik emerged from behind a tree, not even close to the general direction where the broken twig sound had come from. Good boy. Leevi admired Rik’s collected movements for such a muscular man, and when Rik saw his unabashed expression, Rik’s face flamed.
“Let’s move him away from the entrance,” Leevi suggested. Together, Leevi holding the unconscious man under the arms and Rik grabbing his legs, they carried the guard down to the blueberry bushes, dumping him unceremoniously in relative hiding. He’d be out cold for an hour or two, which had to be enough. Leevi would not kill a man for no other reason than disagreeing with him.
Nothing but a thin, tight crevasse in the steep cliff face rising from the woods, the lower entrance looked like a giant had taken a knife and cut an opening into the side. Only darkness bid them welcome. Small birch saplings, wood anemone, and hanging moss hid the rift even more. Without knowing of its existence one could easily pass it without a second glance. A few rivulets of groundwater had found an opening and trickled down the rocks, and Leevi shuddered as some ice-cold drops landed on his neck and slid down his back under his shirt.
The Last Werewolf (The Weres of Europe) Page 9