by Rachel Burns
“Really?”
“Yes. You haven’t been taking care of yourself like you should. I don’t have to tell you that. Your body needs regular meals and rest. I was just telling Gina and Alexander that what people need the most is R&W: rest and water. How much have you been drinking?”
“I don’t party,” she was quick to reply.
Sebastian kept his face straight. “I meant water,” he informed her.
“I constantly drink water throughout the whole day.” That was true. Coffee was a form of water.
“Is there anything mixed in your water?” he asked, guessing that she probably drank too much coffee to keep her energy levels up.
“Umm –” Robin was debating lying to him.
“Robin, I want to hear the truth,” he scolded.
“Yes, I meant I drink coffee all day,” she confessed.
“Robin, please, understand that your actions are scaring me. I care about you. You need to care for yourself too.”
Robin’s face dropped into a sad frown. She wanted the doctor to like her.
“Don’t cry, honey. I want you to recognize behavior that could possibly hurt you, and then do better. Can you do that for me?”
Robin shrugged. She wanted to say yes, but it would be a lie. She knew that when she went back to work, she would have to be perfect again. No matter how she felt on the inside.
“Oh Robin. Is your job worth it? You don’t even like it.”
“But it might make my dad proud.”
“It would make me proud if you took better care of yourself.”
“I doubt that’s likely,” she told him honestly.
Sebastian nodded. “Let’s continue. Please, remove your nightgown.”
“My nightgown.”
“Yes, I need to do a breast examination, or have you been seeing a gynecologist on a regular basis for your yearly?”
“I meant to.”
“That’s good. When was the last time you went?”
“I went while I was in college.”
“How long ago was that?”
“That I was in college?” she pretended not to understand him.
“No, Robin. How long since you’ve seen a gynecologist?”
“It was my freshman year. I was nineteen.”
“You really do have a doctor phobia. Honey, the sooner something like breast cancer is detected the better. This is important. I need you to take that seriously.”
“I mean to. I just put it off, and then I forgot about it. You see, the truth is that I never have any time. I can’t be missing work. If I fall out of step, someone else will take my place. I’m nothing special, and I can be replaced at the drop of a hat. I work harder and longer than the others so I stand out.”
Sebastian wanted to hug her, scold her and spank her all at once. “I think you’re important and irreplaceable.”
“Thank you.” Robin looked away from him, trying to hide the tears that were building in her eyes.
Sebastian was glad that he had time for her physical. At work, he’d have to hurry her along, but this house call gave him the opportunity to give her time. It also gave him a chance to get to know her.
Robing slowly lifted her nightgown up over her head. She laid it down next to her and tried not to think about him looking at her naked breasts, which was as impossible as not thinking about pink elephants after someone told her not to think about them.
Now she was thinking about pink elephants staring at her breasts too. She covered them with her hands.
“I understand, honey. This is a little scary, but you believe that I’d never hurt you, don’t you?”
Robin nodded.
Sebastian could see that she was about to cry. “Lift your arm up, honey, and let your other arm drop to your side.” Sebastian felt along the inside of her arm and slowly worked his way down to her breast. He felt them like he would any other woman. The only difference was what was going through his head. He never found this procedure arousing before. It was an important medical necessity. “Doctors are now warning women not to wear a bra longer than twelve hours at a time. Could you try to wear yours less often too?”
“Umm – I have to wear one at work.”
“I understand, but as soon as you get home, the bra needs to come off. Other arm.”
Robin exchanged her arms.
“You have lymph nodes under your arms, and bras dam the drainage. Lots of people believe that bras are the leading reason for breast cancer. I don’t know about that, but they certainly don’t help.”
“Yes, doctor.” Robin felt a little meek after that speech.”
“Yours feel fine, but I recommend seeing a gynecologist as soon as you can fit it into your schedule. He or she would test you and write down what they feel, so they can compare it from year to year. Feeling a change would be a reason to go sooner. This isn’t something that you want to push off.”
“Okay.”
“Good girl. You can put your nightie on again.” His lecture had helped get him through the examination without getting uncomfortably stiff. He doubted that he’d be able to resist through the next part.
“Please, lie back and remove your panties completely. I regret that I don’t have a professional table to do this, but believe me when I say I didn’t always have one in Africa either.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t always have the chance to examine people in a hospital. We’d build up a tent and take care of the people with what we had.”
“No, I meant why do I have to remove my panties?”
“Oh. I thought that was obvious. My mistake. You see, Robin, your breasts aren’t the only place you can get cancer.”
“Please, can’t we skip that? It’s too embarrassing.”
“For whom?”
“Both of us.” The way Robin said that made it sound like a question.
“I’ve literally done this thousands of times in the firm knowledge that I was helping women. I’ll repeat it again because you clearly need to hear it again. I’d never hurt you. Never, not in a million years.”
Robin thought about that a moment. “Still.”
“Robin, if you wanted a woman to examine you, then you should have made an appointment with a female doctor and actually shown up for said appointment. You didn’t, and now I’m the one with you.” He reached into his bag and got out a pair of rubber gloves.
“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”
“For me it isn’t a big deal. For you it is. I understand that. I’ll make a confession, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”
“Okay,” she agreed.
“I don’t like going to the doctor’s either, but I had to get checked over frequently, so I could work in Africa, throughout my stay there, and so I could come back home. When the doctor checked me over, I’d talk to him about something else, so I could block out what he was doing. Should we try that?”
“I guess so.”
“Good. I wanted to ask you about your apartment building.”
“My apartment building?” Robin asked as she removed her panties.
“Yes. This place is amazing. I was wondering what a place like this costs to rent?”
“It isn’t that expensive. When an apartment opens up, hundreds of people try to get in. I was one of four hundred people. I have no idea why they chose me.”
Sebastian reached inside of her parted legs and felt around. Her bladder was empty, she wasn’t a virgin, she’d need to go poop soon, and she was wet for him.
He pressed down on her tummy and felt her ovaries.
“It’s not working. I’m noticing what you’re doing,” she called out. Having his finger inside of her was impossible not to notice.
“This building has floodgates and a backup generator. Did you notice that all the other buildings were dark?”
“Yes, I saw that.” She laid her hand over the hand he had on her tummy.
“While you were sleeping, the house butler
brought me a pair of pajamas, shaving cream and other personal items to make my stay here nicer. My building doesn’t have a service like that.” He removed his fingers and then the gloves. “It doesn’t have a live-in chef either.”
Robin sighed with relief. It was over. That had felt so strange. It wasn’t the sexual encounter that she longed to have with him. It had kind of hurt. “I really should use his services more often, but I come home so late that I don’t want to bother him.”
“I understand. I wish I could help you change to a healthy schedule, one that would ensure that you would be around for a very long time.”
“After I make partner, I can dump work on others and have time to go swimming in the pool here. There’s one up on the roof. Did you know that?” she asked slipping her panties back into place. They were a little wet. She hadn’t noticed that before.
Had he seen that?
“I think I’ll change into a fresh pair.” She got up and went over to her dresser and got out a plain sensible pair. It was the kind that a doctor would approve of.
Sebastian watched her, thinking that she’d look good in any kind of panty because what they covered up had been amazingly beautiful. Soft lips covered her clitoris; her pink insides had opened up to him, revealing a charm that only she had. He’d dream of those legs and lips opening up for him for the rest of his life.
He went into her bathroom and washed his hands. That was an examination that he would commit to memory. It wouldn’t be forgotten as soon as it was completed like with his other patients.
“What would you like to do now?”
“I thought you’d tell me what’s wrong with me now?”
“I’ll tell you as soon as I have all the information I need. I’m still waiting for the urine sample. That’s a very important puzzle piece.”
“Oh.” Robin didn't want him to examine her pee. That was somehow wrong because he was so good-looking. It made her feel unattractive.
“The next time you have to go, I’ll be able to tell you what my findings are.”
“Come on. I went along with everything else. Can’t we just skip that?”
“No, we can’t. Robin, I think you’re feeling better. You’re getting incorrigible.”
Robin wanted to pout and roll her eyes, but the good doctor was staring her down. She didn’t dare. He had something about him that always let him get his way. Robin was used to being the one who always got her way. Her father would say, ‘Use your elbows, Robin. Fight for what you want.’
“Tell me what you feel up to doing?”
“Actually, I have a couple of files I’d like to look over.”
Sebastian wanted to say no to anything that was work related, but it wasn’t his right. She wasn’t his girlfriend. She may never be his. The cards were stacked against them ever coming together in a relationship that he desired.
“Fine, but work in bed.”
“Okay.” Robin skipped off to get her briefcase. Sebastian wasn’t sure. Was she a little girl, or wasn’t she?
Chapter 6
“It’s a shame sick people can’t have sex.” Robin looked up from the file she was working on.
Sebastian looked at her. That had come out of nowhere. He laid his book down and arched his eyebrow.
Had it been an invitation?
“That isn’t true. People can have sex if they feel up to it, even when they’re sick.”
“Really?”
“Yes, it’s wrong to deny someone sex because they’re sick. As long as there’s no fever, and the patient feels somewhat able, their partner should comply. Negative feelings of self can be dispersed that way.”
“What does that mean?” Robin asked.
“It means that people often feel bad about themselves while they’re ill. Having sex makes them feel desirable and loved. Feeling loved is an important ingredient in the healing process.”
“Great, so now I just need a partner who thinks I’m desirable. And I don’t even have a partner,” she whined.
Sebastian wasn’t sure how to react. He was certain that she wasn’t coming on to him. She was confiding in her doctor, nothing more. “Do you want to have a partner? What I’m trying to say is: do you have room in your life for a partner?”
“I guess I don’t,” she admitted.
Robin rolled on her back and stared up at the ceiling, thinking that she’d probably never have sex again. “What are the negative side effects of not having sex?”
“I’ll admit that it is better for a woman to have sex and children than to abstain.”
“Physically and psychologically?”
“Of course. All humans want and need sex. It’s a basic need that should be seen to, exactly like eating healthy foods, drinking water and getting enough rest.”
“So I’m going to end up being messed up.” Robin still had her eyes fixed on the ceiling. She couldn’t be what her father wanted her to be and be there for a partner, both wouldn’t work.
“Why would you say that?”
“You don’t understand my life. You’ve already labeled it bad, but you don’t get the hours I have to work. No man would put up with that. Women don’t either. Most of the men in my office are divorced. People need a partner who they see every day. I can’t be everything that everyone needs me to be.”
“What do you want to be?”
“I don’t know. I’d probably have to backpack through Europe a year and find myself before I could answer that question.” Robin glanced at him for a moment. He’d laid his book to the side, and he was staring at her. “I guess I want to be me. The problem is I’m not sure who I am. Does everyone feel this way?” She rolled on her side and looked at him.
“Yes, from time to time, but to constantly feel that way is very unhealthy. Would you like me to look for a professional who you could speak with about your worries?”
“No, I don’t have time for something like that. It would be a waste of time and money when all I really need is sex.”
“True.” Sebastian moved to the edge of his seat. Should he offer to sleep with her? No, he couldn’t do that. It would be unethical because he still wanted to search the world for the perfect little girl.
“If I were a man, I could contact a call girl, but being a woman sucks, Dr. Kennedy.”
Sebastian grinned at her. “Yes, it does, Robin. I’d like you to call me by my first name. It’s Sebastian.”
“Sebastian, this is a man’s world. That saying is so true. No matter how hard I try or work, no matter how many hours I put in or cases I take on, I can’t compete. It will never be equal to what a man does in nine hours of work.”
Sebastian nodded. It wasn’t fair. The whole system was set up to reward men and make women work harder than they should. “You said things will get better when you make partner.”
“Yes.” She smiled, picturing it. “Then I’d have time to find a partner. I’d be a good catch if I were partner in a big corporate law firm. The man I found would be happy to introduce me to his parents.”
“If he loved you, he wouldn’t care what his parents thought.” Sebastian knew that his parents would be impressed with something like that. The fact that she was a lawyer would impress them.
“Everyone worries about what others are thinking. Everyone wants to look as good as they can.”
“I think you worry especially about what others think.”
Robin wrinkled up her face a little. Sebastian knew that it was something she did when she thought about something. He felt he knew her so well. “You mean more than normal?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“So there is something wrong with me. No one will want me if they think I’m crazy.”
“You aren’t crazy.” Sebastian smiled at his little worrywart.
“You aren’t that kind of doctor. You can’t examine my body and say that my mind is healthy.”
Blood flooded his penis. Sebastian would like nothing more that to examine her body thoroughly again. “Would you
like me to give you a sponge bath?” he offered.
Robin wasn’t sure what to think. His signals were telling her that he wanted her. Could he be attracted to her? “I suppose that would be best,” she answered.
Sebastian stood and went into her bathroom.
Robin was so glad that she’d made an appointment to get her whole body waxed recently. She rarely took care of herself, but this summer she’d promised herself that she would. The building now had a pool on the roof, and she’d wanted to go swimming every day, but she had only managed to go twice. After that, she went back to her normal routine.
Sebastian returned with a towel over his shoulder and a bowl of warm soapy water in his hands. “Now that your fever is gone, I can wash you.”
“Isn’t that something that a nurse would usually do?”
“This weekend I’ll be your nurse and doctor all in one.”
“I get the whole program.” Robin moved, so she was sitting up. Her head was still a little dizzy and heavy.
“That’s right.” Sebastian sat down on the bed next to her. He reached into the warm water and rung out the sponge.
Robin watched the water running over his strong fingers. This was either going to be the most erotic thing that would ever happen to her or the most embarrassing.
Sebastian gently took hold of her chin. He tenderly stroked the sponge along her jawbone. He’d never washed a woman before, or anyone for that matter. She’d been right about what she said. Normally, nurses washed patients, never doctors.
Her chin rested in his left hand, and she closed her eyes. She trusted him completely.
Sebastian washed over her forehead and along the side of her face. He rewetted the sponge and carefully washed her eyelids and then the bridge of her nose.
Her face was completely relaxed. This was what he wanted in life, someone who was comfortable around him.
He wetted the sponge again. Robin listened to the sound, thinking that she could be anywhere in time and space. She heard no phones ringing, and she heard no fingers typing. There was no hum from computers or lights, no feet moving swiftly around the office floor, where everything was so urgent, and everyone was in a hurry.
In this here and now, she was alone with the gorgeous doctor, and he was washing over her lips. She felt an overwhelming need to kiss him. She wanted to lay her hand on his shoulders and massage his shoulders.