by Richard Lord
“That’s it! You don’t mess with my face!” Renfield yells, and then it begins. After the bloodshed, he looks at his daughters and has a hole in his heart he can never fill. He opens his mind, but he doesn’t know if they can hear him through the rim. “I never wanted you to see that side of me.” He closes his mind again. They look at him as if they have seen someone they never knew.
Torn and ripped to shreds, Renfield begins heading to the center. In his mind he knows if he were to rule this land, the only place to do it from, successfully, would be the center of the chaos. He turns back and looks at his daughters feeling shame for the life taking destruction he caused in front of them. They look back at him and both of them blow him kisses. He’s struck by the gesture and holds it in his heart so he can use it when he needs to remember what the hell he’s doing this for. Then he stops turns to the edge of the field towards his daughters and wags his finger. And mouths, “FUCK YOU!”
Solstice and Illumna giggle, but realize he’s making a point. No emotion. Get the job done.
Renfield takes one of the best clubs he was beaten with and sits down, finds a rock and begins whittling away at it until he has formed a crude sword. Then, proud of himself, he stands and announces, “By the Power of Grayskull!” Then he laughs at his own joke and moves forward to the center where he knows he will find himself. He speculates over what he has become after so much time here. All the time wondering if he even survived. He hasn’t heard a damned thought from himself since he got in here. While ruminative, he also considers that he would do the same, under the circumstances.
As if they can smell him, and perhaps they can, he notes the waves of people clicking to his location and again he must act. At least this time, he can concentrate on survival without the eyes of his daughters judging his absolute brutality when it comes to his survival. At that thought he suddenly feels teeth in his hamstring and he begins anew.
He knows he can’t just click to the center and have a logical concertation with himself. He understands that the Renfield that has been here this long will only respect someone who has earned their way to him, even if it is himself. However, slowly yet surely he clicks mere meters forward with a singular goal in mind.
He does feel guilt at killing those whom have been so horridly doomed to their fate. With each killing strike, he considers that. Then he hears it.
“Adam, why are you here?”
Renfield responds, “Explain your question. As phrased it is impossible to answer.”
“You have another mission, out there, so why are you here?” The sound of his own voice in his head is usually comforting, but this voice was him, but so different.
He responds with a thought of his own, “Unfinished business.”
“Adam, I am not your fault. I am you, we made this decision. Now you are trapped as I am and that is against the plan.” His own voice boomed in his head.
“No. It’s my plan and you’ve reached the same conclusion. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here.” Renfield was trying to think directly to the voice, but at the same time fending off beings that were literally in the process of trying to end his life for the meat on his bones.
“What have you learned out there?” Bellows the voice.
“What the hell have you learned in here? Any tips will do.” Renfield quips.
Then Renfield literally hears the grin of himself and follows.
“Do you wish to speak? In case you don’t make it?” The voice asks in a soft tone.
“Sure, watcha got worth talking about, bro? You know I love a great conversation!” Renfield replies.
“Well, your weaknesses would be an interesting topic. You did ask for tips.” The voice responds.
“Ok, shoot!” Renfield answers while trying to move and click faster than those trying to eat him. He realizes it’s his fat content they are after. Here, it they eat each other, they get protein, but they have run low on fats and therefore triglycerides and therefore amino acids, etc. as the chain goes. So he realizes they can smell him. He’s ‘What’s for dinner!’. He concentrates on the voice and hopes to himself that voice isn’t ‘Hamburger Helper’. He grins at his last thought and then thinks, to himself, “No, this is how this ends…’Sorry Charlie’.” He makes a firm decision not to be the ‘Chicken of this Sea’. His quips to himself keep his spirits up, but 70’s TV commercials aren’t enough to overwhelm what he is seeing, feeling and witnessing on the horizon he has to head towards.
“They are your weakness.” The voice says.
“The ‘zombies’?”
“Your daughters. I watched you before you went into phase. You could have gone into phase sooner, but you paused because of them.” The voice points out.
“Yeah, yeah, and apples could be oranges if they had a timeshare.”, retorts Renfield.
“Why do you put their lives before your own? It is illogical.” The voice asks.
Renfield having taken another hard blow and landing hard to the ground thinks back to the voice, “If they weren’t important to you too, they wouldn’t be here. You don’t care if they save you or me. You wanted to see them. You have too much to express to them so you don’t move through time to escape because you don’t know where to begin and how to start explaining it all!”
The voice in Renfield’s head replies listlessly, “Neither do you.”
“Hey, umm, could I get some help here or are we going to spend my dying moments discussing my family issues. Cause then it would take a LONG time for me to die. I’ve got plenty!”
Suddenly the voice is audible and right next to him. All of the threats trying to eat at his flesh scurry away. “OK, what’s the plan, Stan?” The voice says to Renfield as Adam turns to wonder what the hell Renfield_Prime is that scares them so much.
Renfield looks at himself. He’s in awe of so many factors. He realizes he can age. He realizes he can grow stronger. He realizes he has seen hell, but this other him has seen more than that and his mind whirls for a moment. Then he replies, “Hop on the bus Gus, or make a new plan.” At that they both laugh.
Renfield remarks, “So you do stand for something, even with your legs in shatters like that?”
Renfield_Prime answers, “Don’t we always? Each of us has our role. I suspect, no I hear that you have plans for me?”
Renfield looks at himself, a tattered and torn version of himself that somehow survived this madness and answers. “No, I was hoping you’d be the one with the plan.” The two grin at each other and reappear at the edge of the field. They watch Illumna breath and concentrate and wait.
Even for those who perceive how time works it takes their breath away to watch Illumna do what she does in such extremely fine increments. There is not one single being present that doesn’t watch in awe.
Solstice grabs Renfield, and in a completely different time space Illumna moves them out of the field.
Renfield, out of the field turns back and sees Renfield_Prime is still in the field, he looks to Illumna. Illumna looks surprised. Adam looks to Solstice, but she doesn’t seem surprised at all.
Renfield bursts into anger beyond anything his daughters have ever seen, including the slayings. He yells at Solstice, “What did you do! Why?”
Solstice cowering slightly, not realizing her father was capable of such rage explained, “He is not you.”
Renfield can’t even think of words to express his anger and regret but opens his mind with a blast of thoughts at Solstice.
Illumna pushes her mind between the two and Renfield calms slightly, but yells “That was it! That was the one damned chance we had and you made a decision without consulting me! Without telling me! What the hell was all of this for! Look at me, I’ve been half freakin’ eaten and why? Explain that Solstice! How long did I plan this? Yet you just choose to change and F it all up at the last minute! Why, Solstice? How could you?”
Solstice looks to the ground not knowing how to answer, but Illumna comments, “Dad, do you remember you told me I would learn
my own things?”
Renfield, still in shock and disbelief turns and says bruntly, “Yeah.”
“Okay, well Solstice is right. He isn’t you. Also, another thing I read…” She waits to test his mood before continuing.”
Renfield is silent for a while. Then turns to her and says, “Go on”
“You’ve always thought he was the first because he got captured and stuck in there. It was your guilt that made you think he was the first. He is not. You are the original. That explains why Renfield_2 is waiting in that place of nowhere trying to learn about it, for you. Your idea. Am I wrong about where Renfield_2 went?”
Renfield slowed his heart rate and looked at Illumna. “I never let that thought out. How could…” He stopped then started again with a new train of thought, “OK, so I guess I was right, you gain your own.”
He looked at Solstice who sat staring at the ground and said, “You acted on instinct. Sometimes that’s wrong. Sometimes it’s dead on. You did what you thought was right. For now, girls, I need you to get me back out of there. I have to be sure.”
Solstice walked over and handed Renfield something she’s hid away for a long time. Renfield looked at the weapon, sized it up and was impressed with how well maintained it was. Then he looked at Solstice and said, “Keep this you may need it someday.”
Solstice replied, “If you’re determined not to break this timeline and determined to go back in there, you need this today!”
That point was hard to argue. Repeat of the same maneuver and Renfield felt like he was in a badly edited version of a re-run. “What am I doing?” Renfield thought. Then Renfield_Prime was next to him so Renfield asked the question he had to. “If we save the world, how does the world save itself from then on?”
Renfield_Prime answered, “The world? Do you mean humanity?”
Renfield thought that was a bit obtuse, but understood the question. “Yes. For now, I mean humanity.”
“Humanity is not symbiotic with its host. It is parasitic. Humans will destroy their own host and then die off. No matter what you do today, tomorrow, yesterday a thousand years ago or a week from now.” Renfield_Prime responds.
“OK, given that view, which I won’t ignore, I’ve considered it. As have many other than ourselves, what is the solution?” Renfield asks.
Renfield can hear the thoughts brewing in Renfield_Prime’s mind and he reaches slowly for the gun his daughter gave him. He knows too well that Renfield_Prime will click in space before he can draw it, but he also knows himself and where he would click to so he eyes that target, lazily and tries hard not to think about it.
“You know the answer, Adam. You always have.” Renfield_Prime clicks. Redfield’s aim is true. He doesn’t hesitate on the trigger but suddenly he’s tackled.
He looks up, “Solstice?”
“Don’t kill him. Give him time to consider there are options.” Solstice then looks out of the field towards Illumna and Illumna begins concentrating.
Renfield thinks to himself, “Wow, talk about the ultimate Glock block!”
Solstice grumbles at the pun. Both she and Renfield look to Illumna who shakes her head indicating no.
Solstice looks at her father, “So we’re stuck here?”
Renfield ignores the statement and makes a few hand gestures to Illumna. She understands and tries again. She stops and shakes her head again.
Renfield reaches downward grabs a clump of grass, he breaks off every part but the middle section and points to it. Then looks at Illumna to be sure she understands. Illumna nods and disappears.
Solstice turns to Renfield, “Well, there goes our ride! Seriously?”
Renfield hears the voice in his head again, “Go Adam. I will consider. Time will come.”
Redfield’s mind is wide open now. Solstice stares at him, “What do reeds have to do with New York City?”
Renfield doesn’t answer. He nods at Illumna in front of them. Then says, your sister first. I can wait. I think. Illumna performs the same multi-staged trick and Renfield sees Solstice and Illumna on the other side of the fence. He watches and then Illumna is next to him. Once all three are outside of the fence he thinks quickly of a time and location at Solstice and she grabs Illumna and they all disappear.
CHAPTER 50
“We often search for things we don’t want to find. For some it becomes an obsession. For few it is because they realize they need to face that thing.” – from the book of Illumna
“So why are we here?” Solstice asks of Renfield.
“I had to choose someplace and at the time, Lou Reed’s song, “Take a walk on the wild side” was playing in my head, so…” He glances down the street and sees Illumna and waves for her to join them. She clicks to them. He contrastively looks down at Illumna and says in a quiet voice, “Here, people will notice. Don’t do that unless you have to. You could have run that distance, dear.”
Solstice nor Illumna had ever spent much time in a big city so they had many questions and Renfield was feeling good that he could answer so he went into his list mode.
“OK, over there is Canal Street. Basically it’s where everyone sells rip offs and everyone who buys them knows it. They don’t care because it elevates their status in society as long as they are good enough rip-offs, from the actual brand, to pass casual inspection. Why do name brands matter? So that the people who own them can flaunt their power. So they despise rip-offs and even have the police arrest people who make the exact same thing for less. It’s a wild world. Now we’ll be avoiding that street, but I do have to check in on an old friend who owns a museum at the end of it, at some point. Well did own, I guess we’ve moved back a few years, huh? Anyway, we ended up working together in the long run so in my mind we’re still friends.”
Illumna looks at Solstice. Solstice looks back and thinks to Illumna, “I have no idea, but he seems happy, let him go, we’ll just follow.”
Renfield goes on, “The first time I was in this city I was a free man! Poor, relatively speaking, but free! The second time was long and people were trying to own me…”
Solstice whispers to Illumna, “How long do you think he’s going to go on like this?”
Illumna looks at her younger sister and thinks back at her, “It could go on forever! However, I am sure he has a plan. So do we jump him now and beat it out of him or just listen to him talk about the old days? Of which there are too many for any abacus.”
Renfield stops and turns to his daughters, “I’m just sharing! Isn’t that what you all do with your twetering and your facelooking and your instagraining?”
The girls stop and look at each other and realize he has a point. Renfield continues, “At least we are here at this time! Isn’t real life so much more, hmm, FREAKIN’ REAL?”
Then he stops. He looks at his daughters and he comments, “Because of your gifts, you have great responsibilities, I understand but…”
Solstice mutters, “We know, you hung out with Stan Lee.”
“But ‘He’ only saw one side of that equation. Yes, I did talk with him at length, but he didn’t fully grasp the downside, especially in children growing up. I was considered a nerd because I thought things through. I was also considered a bully because I won every fight I was ever in. Usually it was because I was standing up for someone else. But to the world, that didn’t make me a hero. I was supposed to lose and do the Rocky Balboa thing, ya know?”
Solstice considers his thoughts for a moment, but replies, “Another 70’s reference, Dad? Seriously, what was so great about a time I haven’t been to yet?”
“Well I know you’ve seen the 80’s! The best two things there, I was young, I had long dangling curls, 88 was the most digits on a screen and it could take you back in time and ‘I’ll Stop The World And Melt With You’ was written and performed. Does it get any better than that?”
Solstice looked at him wry eyed, “And you were turned into a killer. No matter what you do now you can’t get that out of you. I watch you try, bu
t it’s you now. Don’t think I haven’t seen you control it, I have. But eventually, it takes you. That is the way I remember your fabulous 80’s.”
Illumna looks at her father. He is wide open and she sees it all. She turns to Solstice and pushes her back, physically. “Stop.”
Solstice responds, “Why should I? He doesn’t let us rest!”
Illumna looks at Solstice and explains, “Don’t you understand it’s why we’re here? He’s chancing his perfect timeline to give us a rest. It may not be paradise, but it’s the best he could come up with on such short notice. Do you not understand that Solstice?”
Solstice considers. Renfield continues walking and explaining everything around them. Solstice smiles at her older sister and nods. “OK, I understand.” She responds.
“So”, Renfield continues “Are you girls fans of mysteries?”
Solstice starts to respond but Illumna cuts her off. Solstice responds again with a different approach, “We love you so of course we enjoy mysteries, why do you ask?”
“Well. In my time here, there were some peculiar details I would like to know the answers to.” Says Renfield.
“Let me guess, it involves a woman?” Solstice says sarcastically.
“At that you would be correct.” Renfield snaps back.
“So is this about a third daughter of yours?” Solstice asks.