Destiny Be Damned

by Rebecca Royce

  My breath caught in my throat, and my knees gave out. Lennon caught me in his arms. “Got you, Mika. I couldn’t see what you did until there was an explosion of light. Are you okay?”

  I shook my head. “No. I’m going to faint.”

  “Got it.”

  One second I knew what was happening, the next I didn’t. I found myself back around the fire, my guards nowhere to be found. Instead, a woman I’d never seen before, but who seemed familiar, stared at me, her arms crossed. She had long, straight black hair, high cheekbones, and right then, a glare from her dark brown eyes directed right at me.

  “Do you know who I am?” Her voice was lower for a woman, a little scratchy sounding. She walked closer to me. “I can’t stay here long and neither can you. It’s hard for me to be here at all. So you don’t get to do that Mika thing where you overthink everything. Do you know who I am or not?”

  Well, she was abrupt, too. I’d been through a lot. I didn’t need to be hollered at by a stranger when I was just adjusting to using my eyes again in this place. “You seem familiar. That being said, if you talk like this, it’s no wonder I’ve forgotten you.”

  She snorted, covering her face with her hand. “I brought you to Anne. Both you and Krystal. My name is Aspen. I don’t seem familiar from that time. You’d have no memory of that. But we’ve known each other through divinity, and it was a possibility you knew who I was. What are you doing? Why did you let them blind you?”

  How did this woman know so much? “I let them blind me to keep Katrina out.”

  “Because they told you that they saw the future. They did. Teagan is an excellent Prophet, but even she will tell you that the future is fluid. They don’t get to determine it, even if they’re well-meaning in trying. They told you that Oracles don’t fight, that you had to be safe. Look what you just did blind. Get your sight back, Mika. Divinity gets it wrong time and again. Divinity is how we ended up with these demons to begin with. They sent you down here to be the Oracle. Be the Oracle. Your version of it. Don’t believe me if you don’t want to. You don’t know me. But ask yourself, what feels right.”

  I put my hands on her hips while her words bounced around in my mind. “Who are you?”

  “My name is Aspen. I was supposed to be a Sister. I’m not. My guards didn’t want to battle with me. They went on to do other things. It was awful. They rejected me. So divinity sent me down as a human. I shouldn’t know what I do. I can’t explain it. I’m glad I saved you. I don’t imagine we’ll see each other again. Mika, someone has to get the demon out of Katrina.”

  I sucked in my breath. “What?”

  “Someone has to get the demon out of her. Why can’t any of you see that she’s possessed?”

  I came awake, flailing around like I could bring back the light when I knew that I couldn’t.

  “Easy.” Lennon’s voice was close to my ear. I was in his arms.

  I had a lump in my throat and my heart in my ears. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No, not at all.” He kissed my cheek once, then twice. “Weird dreams?”

  “You could say that.” I turned over until we were facing each other, chest-to-chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m going to tell Devyn to give me back my sight, and I do want to go to Peter’s. I want to see the tree.”

  He must have nodded, some of his bushy hair hit the side of my cheek which made me smile. Lennon smelled like soap. “You might be underwhelmed by the tree.”

  “Okay. I still want to see it. Actually view it with my own eyes.”

  He rubbed my back for a second. “Let’s make that happen.” Lennon moved just a bit until I felt like I slid down his lap. His hand stopped my descent, pushing me forward, while he also knocked on the ceiling of the carriage.

  The vehicle stopped. A few moments later, Neil’s voice sounded around me. “What’s going on?”

  “Get Devyn in here. Mika wants her sight back.”

  “Is that…”

  Lennon interrupted him. “It’s what she wants. Mika gets to say if she’s going to stay blind or not.”

  Neil sighed. “I know she does. What I was going to say was is that an indication she wants to turn around and head back to the Sisterhood? Don’t get pushy with me, Lennon. We’re on the same side. Mika’s.”

  I felt Lennon tense beneath me. “I can’t help it if I’m feeling extra protective right now. I need her to be all right. I know you’re feeling it, too. Like I need my next breath, I need her to finally be okay.”

  I was pushed into Lennon’s head, the co-joining coming instantly. I wasn’t in the carriage, blind, listening to them argue. Instead, I was with Lennon on a train. Once again, I stood and watched myself. I rocked back and forth, cursed. He sat next to me, a book in his hand, and he read it aloud. I knew that story. We’d had little fiction around when I’d been a child—our upbringing left no time for anything considered frivolous—but we had occasionally been told stories the teachers felt we should know should we ever find ourselves speaking to anyone out of the Sisterhood. I loved the one he read to me.

  It was about elephants. I’d never seen one, they were mythical, but in that story, there was a wise elephant who remembered everything. He lived a long life, interacted with lots of children, experienced their lives with them, and when his own was over, they’d made a statue of him. There was more to it, but the whole thing was whimsical and really a morality tale about enjoying where you were and appreciating small things.

  I’d never seen it written down, just heard it spoken. He had a copy, and he read it to me when he was taking care of me. It was so sweet. Tears came to my eyes. This was what Lennon did, he took care of people. I was so lucky to have him.

  I fell back into my body with a gasp. Lennon moaned. “Wow.”

  “And just like that, you’re co-joined. One second you’re not, the next you are? How does that work so fast?” Neil laughed. “Okay, let’s get her eyes fixed.”

  Light tried to find its way to my eyes. This time more strongly, like before, it passed. Devyn might be chewing on her fingernails. I wasn’t sure what I was hearing.

  “But Teagan said I had to do it, and Reed said I had the power. My mother knew we would leave her one day. I don’t understand.”

  I raised my chin. “We don’t have destinies. We have decisions we make and things we agree to. We’re here because we were chosen. We were. There is something about us they wanted and that means trusting myself, not some random visions Teagan has of a future that may or may not be. Her job is to advise, not order. When next I see her, I’ll remind her of that. Gently. I love Teagan. If I can’t keep Katrina out of my mind then so be it. I’ll stay on Peter’s, and I won’t do anything that she could use against us. If you could protect my mind during visions while I was blind, Clara, than you can do it while I have sight. Oracles are always blind? Well, not this one. I say no.”

  Words had power. It was lesson number one in demon fighting. That was why we asked them their names. That was why we were careful with our words. Or why we were supposed to be. I’d made a pronunciation, and my truth behind it, my purposefulness in saying it as I did, gave it weight. The universe heard me. I could feel it, deep inside of me where my powers came from. I had done something that would have impact simply by standing my ground.

  Clara cleared her throat. “I can’t promise. My gift can keep her away from your powers, not your day-to-day life.”

  “I’m not afraid of Katrina.” And what was more, I meant it.

  My eyesight came back instantly. The light was blinding, and I fell backward, right into Lennon’s arms. The world spun, but I refused to pass out. I waited for the dizzying sensation to pass. It had been too long since I’d seen the world, and I wouldn’t lose a second of time enjoying the ability to do so by doing something as frustrating as passing out.

  “You okay?”

  I spun in his hold to look up at his face. There they were, his white eyes. I grinned at him. “They look good on you.”
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br />   He gave me a side-smile. “Love you, Mika.”

  I took in the moment. The girls looked haggard. I hadn’t realized how completely stressed they were just from the sounds of their voices. Dark circles were visible under their eyes. Lennon and Gordon were both sporting their white eyes and grins on their faces. My other three weren’t quite as relaxed looking. By contrast, Neil, Ren, and Wayne had the same exhausted undertones to their expressions as the girls.

  Okay, we had to get going. But first things first. “Katrina has been possessed. I’m not sure how that works. She doesn’t set off my demon alarms when I’m with her, but that is neither here nor there for the moment. We’re going to Peter’s. If she wants to watch me read, wants to watch me look out the window and eat between here and there, she’s welcome to it. She can’t reach me on Peter’s. It’s immune to demons.” That was why I had to see the tree. It mattered. I didn’t know why, but it did. “Then there will be decisions to make. We’ll do that together. Nothing about our relationship has been exactly normal, has it? I mean none of us knew who we were to each other, right guys? This isn’t a dictatorship. We’ll… decide. And girls, you’ll have a say, too.”

  Jayne nodded. “Then can I decide that I want to stay up above on the carriage. I liked it up there before. I like the air on my face. Carriages make me want to throw up.”

  The other two agreed, and although that wasn’t the response I’d expected, I had said they’d have a say. “You can travel wherever you want to.”

  Behind me, Lennon’s body stiffened. He’d co-joined with me just a little bit ago. He had to be getting tired. “You should go lie down.”

  He nodded. “Neil, I guess I’m off for a little while.”

  Neil patted him on the arm. All these little gestures, seeing them was such a gift. I’d never take it for granted again, ever. Neil took my hands in his. “Hi there.”

  “Hi.” My shoulders sagged. “I… I won’t put any of us at risk. If I feel her in there, and now I know I have to be aware, and I can’t get her out, I’ll have Devyn take the sight again.”

  He pressed his forehead to mine. “Whatever you need, okay? When I was there, at the Sisterhood, I assumed they knew what they were talking about. But nobody knows what you need more than you do. I’m sorry.”

  “It was all so fast, Neil. We’ll figure it out from here.”

  Suddenly, Wayne was at my side. He kissed my cheek. Ren pulled me against him, and Gordon laughed. They were here. They weren’t just voices in my head. I grinned at Gordon. “The white eyes suit you, too.”

  “You suit me.” He leaned over to kiss me.

  Neil patted Gordon on the back. “Okay, listen. You should stay in the carriage. Little for Katrina to see in there until you figure out whether or not you can keep her out. We’ll keep the girls safe up above unless something seems off, and then we’ll send them down. I think we have a day and a half of driving until we get to the ferry. It took us a long time to get from Peter’s, but we weren’t on a direct route. Let’s get this over with. I will personally feel better once we have you there.”

  I would, too. All signs were pointing me to that tree. I needed to see it with my own eyes.

  Lennon leaned against the seat, his eyes open. I’d half expected to find him asleep. He had a lazy smile, and he crooked his finger at me. I grinned, the best kind of tension suddenly filling the carriage. I made my way over to him, climbing onto his lap until I straddled him.

  His mouth was tempting, so I kissed him, right on it. He moaned against me before he pulled back just a little to smile at me. “Glad to have your vision back?”

  “Ridiculously so. I can see your face.” I tapped his chin. “I can feel you in my mind, too. It’s so nice to have you in there.”

  Then it was his turn to kiss me. He started slow—the lightest of pecks—and warmth traveled through my body at the contact. I didn’t know how long we had. He was going to pass out, and there were things I wanted to do with him before he did that. There would be—I hoped—lots of time for long, leisurely make out sessions with Lennon. But I wanted him. No, more than that. I needed him. Now.

  I reached between us, finding his cock and stroking it in an up and down movement through his clothes. He hissed out a breath. “Mika. I really don’t have that much experience with this, but if we do too much of that I am not going to make it inside of you.”

  “Sure you will.” I don’t know what made me feel so adventurous, or so completely sure of myself considering I had done this exactly once, but maybe it had to do with how Lennon looked at me like I was the only woman in the universe.

  It made me feel hot, wanted, and needy for him. I was going to embrace those feelings. I looked down at my clothes. They hadn’t done a terrible job picking something out for me. I was actually in all black. The pants were stretchy and the shirt clung to my body, showing off what curves I had. I wouldn’t have been embarrassed being seen like this. But there were too many clothes for what I wanted to do right then.

  I took off my shirt and threw it aside. His eyes widened, and from where I sat on his lap, I felt his cock harden, significantly. That was just what I wanted. Lennon needed to want me as much as I did him, right then.

  “I do.” He kissed my throat, biting down slightly. His reminder that he could slightly read my mind now was a good thing. Gordon did, too, and I didn’t need him in the carriage with us right that second. This was between Lennon and myself. Some things we got to do alone. Turning off our link wasn’t hard, and I hoped he understood why. I’d explain later, if I had to.

  Then I was kissing Lennon, again and again. I bit down on his lip, and his hips pushed up against me. The carriage jolted forward, indicating we were on our way. The motion sent both of us against the seat, and I laughed.

  The movement was also helpful. In our new position being spread out, all arms and legs wrapped up, it was easy to pull off what remained of my clothes and all of his. Soon we were both naked. He was long, he was hard, and from the way his cock pulsed as I stared at it, he was ready.

  I touched the tip, feeling a spot of wetness beneath my fingers when I did. Oh yes, he was ready.

  “There’s never been anyone else for me, Mika. I thought there was something wrong with me. I know now I waited for you. I want so much to make this wonderful for you.”

  My breath caught in my throat. Was he worried about that? “It already is. Just being here with you. Seeing you. Knowing you want me the way I do. We have a lifetime to get to know each other this way. I know I’m rushing things. I just want you so much, and I don’t know how much time we have here together right this second.”

  He rolled me over until he was on top of me. “This is how I dreamed of it. Is that okay?”

  “More than.” He pushed back on my knee and I opened for him. Lennon moved slowly, and I was rewarded with being able to see his eyes open widely when he was finally inside of me. His nostrils flared and a muscle ticked in his jaw.

  “I didn’t know it would feel like this. I didn’t understand.”

  I was so full with him inside of me, that for a second, I almost begged him not to move, to never leave me, and then I realized that he never would. Part of me would always be linked to him. This act simply cemented what always was. If I ever needed him, his love was always permanently inside of me.

  Lennon pulled out fast and then back in the same way. It took us a second to find our rhythm, but soon he was hitting my spot with every stroke. I wanted him to know just where so I took his finger and while he was pulled out, I showed him. He bit down on his lip, nodding at me. Every muscle in his body seemed to be clenching.

  He really did find what I needed then. Pleasure warred with pain. I had to move so I wrapped my legs around his waist, drawing him deeper inside. Our movements were jerky, the motions losing certainty until we were both coming hard. I cried out first, and he followed, fast. I closed my eyes, shutting out the colors that flew past. I wanted sight but that was too much.

&nbs
p; By divinity, I loved this man.

  He kissed me everywhere he could reach, his hands on my breasts. He squeezed, while his cock nestled deep inside of me, still twitching as we both came down from what had been an amazing joining.

  I was wrapped in his arms when the co-joining made him give in to the need for sleep. I closed my eyes. So much had happened. I would join him for a while.

  19

  I’d never been on a boat before, and if the rocking I endured was any indication of what it was going to be like for the next hours, then I was going to avoid getting on a boat as much as possible. Though it rained, I sat on the deck because staying indoors had made the nausea worse.

  The girls were inside, staying dry. Gordon and Lennon were with them. I could feel them deep in my head. They were amused by something. I was glad someone was having a good time.

  “Seriously, I don’t think anything is going to get to me on this boat. I’m choosing to get wet, the three of you should go inside.”

  Neil laughed, throwing his head back. “Not happening, love. We’re very happy to be out here with you.”

  Ren took a seat next to me. “Something is dinging around in the cargo. Something wasn’t attached well. Can you hear it? Ding. Dong.”

  I did. It was just another noise on this loud, nausea-inducing vessel taking us to Peter’s. “I hate this.”

  “So I guess I won’t be taking you out on fishing trips.” Neil rubbed my back before he looked up at Wayne. “Hey, can you do a walk through? It’s been fifteen minutes. I’d feel better if one of us patrolled around every fifteen.”

  Wayne leaned over to kiss my forehead. “I hate this, too. I like staying on land. I don’t like the trains either, and I can only stand that carriage when I’m sitting on top of it. I’d rather be wet out here with you. Going to patrol. Another couple of hours, and we’ll be there.”