by Heidi Swain
Once he had finished cooking and proudly presented me with what looked like a plate of grease, I could only pick at the food and purposefully sat with my back to the mess. I’d insisted on toast rather than fried bread and opened the window in a vain attempt to disperse at least some of the smell. Jake heartily loaded his fork with one hand and squeezed my wrist with the other. Just as I had predicted, he looked incredibly cheerful and rested.
‘So,’ he said eventually, ‘how’s work been? I hope my brother hasn’t been chasing you around the desk in my absence?’
‘No of course not,’ I tutted, ‘and as far as work is concerned, it’s been . . .’
‘What?’
I let out a long breath and began crumbling the remains of my toast over my beans.
‘Here, don’t waste that,’ Jake frowned, pulling my plate nearer to him.
I picked the few stray crumbs from my pyjama bottoms and sat back in my chair searching for the right words to describe my working week.
‘It’s been,’ I sighed, ‘pretty awful actually.’
Had I not been so surprised by the admission I would have laughed at Jake sitting there with his fork frozen in mid-air and his mouth wide open, but as it was I felt heavy tears pricking the back of my eyes and shook my head dismissively.
‘In what way awful?’ Jake eventually asked. He sounded as shocked as I felt.
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ I shrugged dismissively. ‘I’m probably making it sound far worse than it’s been. It was just odd, not having you around. I guess I’ve got used to having you in my life.’
Jake laid his knife and fork on his plate, pushed it away and reached for my other hand.
‘I bet you got loads more done, though, didn’t you?’ he smiled encouragingly, no doubt trying to make me feel better. ‘I bet you wondered how you’ve managed for so long with me under your feet all the time. Well, that won’t be an issue for much longer.’
‘To tell you the truth,’ I sighed, his words not quite hitting their mark for the moment, ‘it felt like it did before you came and I realised . . .’ I swallowed. ‘I realised I didn’t actually like it any more. I think I’ve had enough of my job and the endless hours and relentless pressure. I think it’s about time I started looking for something a little less, you know, full on.’
We sat in silence for a minute. In the seconds before I had fallen asleep during the last week, the only real private moments I’d had, I had been mulling it all over and I’d come to the conclusion that there was actually no way I could tip the scales back in my favour in my current work position.
There was no getting away from the fact that the role required uncompromised commitment; however, until that very moment, when I said the words out loud, I hadn’t really thought I’d be brave enough to do anything about it. I had thought I’d probably just bury it away and soldier on.
‘What do you mean “it won’t be an issue much longer”?’ I suddenly demanded as Jake’s words filtered through and yanked me out of my life-changing reverie. ‘Where the hell are you going?’
The whole point of me taking a step back and looking at my life was to fathom out a way to factor Jake back into it. My relationship with him, and my fear of destroying it, was the sole reason behind the soul searching and potential changes. That and a fear of burning myself out. My stomach lurched as I realised I may very well have misread how much Jake valued our relationship.
‘I’m moving to Skylark Farm,’ he said sheepishly. ‘I’ve been thinking about it for some time and now something has happened that’s forced my hand a bit. It’s the only place that’s ever really felt like home to me, so I’ve decided to move there for good.’
‘But I don’t understand,’ I gaped. ‘I thought your weekend there once a month was going to be it. I thought you and Annie could manage the place between you like that.’
‘Not any more,’ Jake continued, completely oblivious to my shock. ‘Things have changed. Annie’s getting old and even though she won’t admit it, she needs more help, proper help, on a full-time basis. This was supposed to be a little clue,’ he said, rolling his eyes and pointing at the plates. ‘You know, a good old-fashioned full English farmhouse breakfast, but I’ve kind of messed it up. In fact, this isn’t how I meant to tell you at all.’
Jake had told me all about his beloved spinster Aunt Annie and Skylark Farm in the flat Fenlands of East Anglia. In fact, after every weekend he spent there, he came back absolutely buzzing with news about crop yields and hens’ eggs.
As a child he’d spent his school holidays with her, feeding the chickens and picking apples, and he’d never made any secret of the fact that one day he dreamt of moving there for good. That, I had discovered, was what he really wanted to be doing with his life and what Dan so heartily disapproved of, but I never realised that there was a possibility of him heading off quite so soon.
Interestingly, Dan had never spent so much as a single night on the farm. Apparently he preferred more refined and sedate holidays to getting his hands dirty and shovelling . . . well, you get the idea.
‘And is this what you’ve been planning while you’ve been away?’ I asked.
‘Yes,’ Jake nodded. ‘Annie took a bit of a tumble while I was there, nothing serious, but the doctor sent her into a tailspin by asking if she’d thought about selling up and moving to town. By the time he left she was in a blind panic and I told her it was time she had help. She won’t let on that she needs the support, of course, but she’s terrified of losing the place and knows I’d never let that happen. It just seemed like the natural conclusion for me to suggest moving in.’
‘So you’re definitely going then? There isn’t anyone else she can ask?’
‘No,’ Jake said simply, ‘there isn’t.’
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘I see.’
‘She’s always known how much I love the place and has never made any secret of the fact that one day it will be mine. I don’t want her to have to move out so this is the perfect solution, and truth be told I’ve had enough of taking orders from my brother.’
‘Oh,’ I said again, ‘right.’
I could understand that Jake had had enough of his job and that for him and his aunt this was a totally logical progression, but I couldn’t help wondering exactly where it left me. If Jake really was moving so far away then I might as well just wave him goodbye and carry on with my job because I couldn’t possibly imagine how our relationship could survive such gargantuan change. I opened my mouth to say just that, but Jake cut me off. He was grinning from ear to ear and looked in no way as if he was about to sound the death knell on our relationship.
‘I really want you to come with me, Amber,’ he beamed, ‘and given everything you’ve just said it sounds like perfect timing!’
Chapter 3
Needless to say I turned down Jake’s off-the-wall, but kind, suggestion straightaway. I told him that I was grateful for the offer, that I loved him with all my heart and, that if it was meant to be, our relationship would survive all the changes it was about to face, even though deep down I wasn’t sure it would.
‘You know I’m a city girl,’ I reminded him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. ‘I just don’t think I could handle the country. I can’t even cope with the mess you’ve made of my kitchen, so you can imagine how I’d be with a muddy farmyard and footprints trailing through the house.’
‘I’ll have you know Annie keeps a very neat and tidy kitchen,’ Jake mumbled, his tone loaded with disappointment, ‘and absolutely no mud is allowed in the house. It’s a strictly wellies off at the door kind of place.’
‘Oh, you know what I mean,’ I said, shaking my head, ‘and besides, what would I do?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘For work,’ I said. ‘I can’t imagine there would be much call for my finely tuned corporate hospitality skills in Wynbridge, would there?’
Jake had described Wynbridge as a typical little rural market town. He told me there were a cou
ple of churches, a market square, a museum, a few pubs and shops and a rather good café. It all sounded pretty enough, ideal in fact for a weekend away, but not exactly dripping with the kind of employment potential and lifestyle opportunities I was accustomed to.
‘I thought you could help out on the farm,’ Jake said hopefully, ‘with the livestock and stuff.’
‘Livestock and stuff!’ I laughed. ‘Have you completely forgotten who I am? I’ve never even had so much as a pet hamster!’
‘Well, it was just a thought,’ he shrugged, ‘and as far as career opportunities are concerned, you did say you were looking to do something different.’
‘Yes, well, thanks for the offer,’ I smiled, kissing his cheek, ‘but there’s “different” and there’s “way off the mark” and I think you know where you’ve landed with this one!’
My firm refusal, however, didn’t stop me slipping the current issue of Country Living into my shopping basket or put me off perusing the latest range of pretty patterned wellington boots and blouses on offer from Joules. Country chic was very chic indeed, I decided, as I scrolled down the screen during a snatched minute one lunchtime.
For a giddy few seconds I could almost imagine myself baking a cake in a Shaker style kitchen and creating something decorative for the dining table with a few hedgerow blooms and some Kilner jars à la Kirstie Allsopp.
Sensing footsteps behind me I quickly flicked the screen back to the company homepage and stuffed the magazine in a drawer. It was Jake.
‘I have a proposition for you,’ he said, leaning back against the desk and looking down at me with his seductive hazel stare.
‘Oh?’ I smiled, running my finger lightly down his thigh. ‘Another one. Do tell.’
‘Next weekend,’ he said. ‘I want you to come to Skylark Farm with me. I’m going for a couple of days to check on Annie before I finally move there for good and I want you to see the place before you say no.’
‘I have said no!’ I reminded him. ‘And anyway, what’s in it for me?’
‘Well, let’s see now,’ Jake smiled. ‘Not much really apart from the opportunity to change your whole life, of course. The chance to really do the “something completely and utterly different” that you said you were looking for.’
I couldn’t help but admire his persistence and I had to admit that I could, courtesy of the glossy magazines and online catalogues, actually feel my resolve beginning to weaken. Surely no harm could come from going and taking a quick look at the place? If nothing else it would get me away from my desk for a few hours and give me time to have a proper, uninterrupted think about everything.
‘I’m not sure,’ I said, biting my lip, but in reality I was feeling surer by the second.
‘It’s two days,’ he said, ‘that’s all. Surely you can manage to cut the apron strings for one teeny tiny weekend?’
‘Oh, all right,’ I caved, an unexpected sense of excitement bubbling up. ‘I’ll talk to Simon and check he hasn’t got anything lined up, but I’m not making any promises.’
‘Amber, great timing,’ Simon smiled up at me as I approached his desk, ‘couldn’t be better actually! I was just about to come and find you.’
‘If it’s about the arrangements for the polo event, everything’s sorted,’ I told him. ‘I’ve even managed to book a jet to fly the happy couple out there and the paperwork will all be waiting for them when they land.’
‘Great, super,’ he said, offering me a seat and taking the other chair behind his wide desk. ‘I never doubted you wouldn’t pull it off, but I wanted to talk to you about something else actually.’
I swallowed nervously and licked my lips while mentally scanning my to-do list to reassure myself that nothing was amiss. It wasn’t.
‘I have a proposition for you,’ he announced.
‘Oh?’ I smiled. Another proposition; Jake’s was already being pushed to the back of my mind as my former work ethic bounced back and kicked it temporarily into touch.
‘I know this goes without saying,’ Simon reminded me in a hushed tone, ‘but I just want to reiterate that anything said within these office walls stays within these office walls. Yes?’
‘Of course,’ I nodded, ‘absolutely.’
I had seen one too many staff scuttling off with a cardboard box at the end of the working week to know the consequences of breaking the rules, and besides, I was far more professional than that.
‘OK,’ said Simon, looking at me intently, ‘I’m planning to expand the business and open another office.’
I took a deep breath and tried to hide my surprise.
‘Great,’ I stuttered.
Another, perhaps more northerly office, would certainly help when we found ourselves most stretched.
‘Liverpool or Manchester,’ I asked, mulling over the most likely options, ‘or perhaps Newcastle?’ I was already thinking about the potentially easiest commute should I have to pay a visit.
‘Dubai,’ Simon said simply.
‘Dubai!’ I almost shouted.
Dubai was the last place I expected Simon to suggest. He’d never mentioned aspirations to expand globally, but then why should he have discussed anything with me?
‘I had planned to head out there myself,’ he continued, ‘initially for a few months, three probably, just to make sure everything is in place and good to go, but I’ve had to have a rethink. Caroline’s pregnant,’ he proudly announced while gazing lovingly at the photograph of his stunning wife. ‘There’s no way I can expect her to travel and I’m certainly not leaving her.’
‘Of course not,’ I smiled. ‘Wow. Congratulations, that’s wonderful news. You must be delighted.’
Caroline was impossibly tall, elegant, sophisticated and one of the nicest women I knew. I had been terrified when I first met her and had consequently misjudged her completely. I had done her the injustice of assuming that she would be the stereotypical corporate wife – haughty, condescending and aloof; but she was nothing like that. ‘I am,’ beamed Simon, ‘we are. However, this leaves the Dubai office without a manager so I’m looking for someone else to go in my place.’
‘What about Dan?’ I suggested, knowing he would snatch Simon’s hand off for the opportunity to sun himself for a few months. ‘He’d be perfect.’
‘Actually, Amber, I was thinking of you.’
‘Me?’ I croaked.
‘Yes,’ nodded Simon, ‘to manage the whole thing. You’d have a small team working under you and, although I couldn’t offer you a pay rise in real terms, your flights, accommodation and expenses would all be taken care of. What do you think?’
The seconds ticked by and I couldn’t think how to respond. I’d knocked on Simon’s door to ask for nothing more complicated than a couple of days off to spend at Skylark Farm and before I’d so much as breathed a word I’d been offered the chance to work in Dubai for three months and have a team to delegate to.
Professionally every inch of me wanted to sign on the dotted line there and then, but personally I was thinking of the workload and Jake and the promise I’d made to consider the farm as my future home. I opened my mouth to say ‘thank you, but no’, but Simon cut me off.
‘Don’t answer now,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you take the weekend off to think about it and let me know how you feel the week after?’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Absolutely,’ he insisted, ‘I can’t remember the last time you had a break.’
I wanted to remind him that I’d never had a break, but the fact that he’d just offered me such an amazing opportunity suggested that he was well aware of how hard I’d been working since I joined the company.
I stood up to leave, feeling rather pleased with myself. Somehow I’d managed to bag it all – the weekend I wanted to spend with Jake and a dreamy job offer in Dubai to mull over.
‘Just please, please remember,’ Simon reminded me again, ‘do not, under any circumstances, discuss this with anyone.’
Chapter 4
The rest of the week passed in a blur. By day I had Jake reminding me to pack my wet weather gear (not very encouraging) and by night I was mulling over the prospect of a secluded balcony and the opportunity to nurture a no-lines tan (seriously seductive).
I couldn’t shake off the feeling that not sharing Simon’s out of the blue offer with Jake was underhand and that the trip to Skylark Farm was tainted in some way as a result, but Simon had been most insistent when he said I wasn’t to discuss the situation with anyone and so, with that justification in mind, I pushed my guilt to the back of my mind and carried on packing.
To justify the dubious deception even further I told myself that not even Mystic Meg could have predicted the offers that had suddenly popped up on my horizon and I owed it to myself, as well as Jake and Simon, to think very carefully before pushing ahead with either of them.
‘I’ll meet you at the station,’ Jake reminded me for the umpteenth time before he set off on Friday morning. ‘All you have to do is jump off at Peterborough and I’ll be waiting.’
‘I have travelled by train before,’ I reminded him, ‘and sometimes I’ve even managed to get there and back again all on my own.’
‘OK, OK, don’t go all Bilbo Baggins on me,’ he laughed. ‘I just want everything to be perfect, that’s all.’
‘It will be,’ I said, hugging him tight, ‘absolutely nothing is going to spoil this adventure.’
Less than two hours later, however, and the whole adventure was already blown out of the water. It was still only Friday morning but it was looking increasingly unlikely with every passing second that I was going to see my bed again within the next forty-eight hours let alone jump on a train to Peterborough to play Old Macdonald for the weekend.
‘Please, Simon,’ I said yet again, ‘please don’t worry. It can’t be helped. Just give my love to Caroline and don’t worry about anything. I’ve got it all under control this end, so there’s no need for you to do a thing.’