by Heidi Swain
‘Of course it doesn’t,’ I said, reaching for her hand again. ‘Harriet, I haven’t known you for long but I love you to bits. You’ve made settling in here so easy and been such a good friend. Whether you like girls, boys, both or neither is of no consequence to me. You’ve been a good friend to me right from day one, that’s all that matters.’
‘Really?’
‘Of course really,’ I insisted. ‘Honestly, who do you take me for?’
‘Sorry,’ she said, sighing heavily, ‘it’s just that, well, let’s just say my coming out hasn’t exactly been welcomed by everyone around here.’
‘Narrow minded hypocrites,’ Annie chipped in, ‘you send them to me, Harriet, and I’ll soon set them straight!’
Any further discussion was halted by the show announcer.
‘Would Annie, Jake and Amber please make their way to the show ring? Annie, Amber and Jake to the show ring as soon as you can, please.’
Jake jumped up, trying to pull me along with him in the process. Out of the corner of my eye I had been watching a small crowd of adults and children, resplendently decorated in ribbons and flowers, gathering around the Maypole, which was similarly bedecked.
‘If this has anything to do with dancing,’ I said, stubbornly refusing to budge, ‘then you can forget it.’
‘It’ll be the judging,’ said Annie from beneath her hat.
‘The what?’ said Harriet, who had hastily forgiven my mention of Rachel in the face of such a potentially amusing and, for me, humiliating situation.
‘You won’t have to dance, skip or anything else, Amber,’ Annie tried to reassure me, ‘but as hosts of the May Fair we three are expected to judge the best dressed child.’
‘Well, come on then,’ said Jake impatiently. ‘Look lively, Annie! If we don’t get a move on we’ll throw the whole schedule out and no one will be happy.’
‘I’m not coming,’ Annie announced.
She clearly thought the whole idea was preposterous.
‘Why not?’ I asked. ‘Please, Annie,’ I pleaded. ‘I could really do with your moral support.’
‘Absolutely not,’ said Annie, refusing even to open her eyes. ‘You pair are on your own. You have to remember, Amber, that I know practically all those rogues waiting over there, and most of their children. One misplaced rosette and friendships of decades will be in tatters.’
‘What about my friendships?’ I pouted.
‘You haven’t been here long enough to establish any with that lot,’ she said mischievously, ‘so no one’s going to blame you if you make a pig’s ear of it, not for long anyway.’
‘Oh thanks,’ I muttered, as Jake dragged me from under the trees and back towards the show ring.
‘Who shall I pick?’ I hissed as we approached.
‘I don’t know,’ he said distractedly, ‘but I daresay in line with the fair’s tradition you’ll be selecting a girl and I’ll be choosing the boy.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding!’ I laughed.
‘Actually,’ he smiled, ‘I’m not.’
All the children looked lovely to me, boys and girls, but there was one little lady who was slightly smaller than the rest and she caught my eye straightaway.
Dressed in a simple embroidered white cotton dress, with bouncing blonde curls, a white hair band and green shoes and socks she was the perfect image of spring and the cheerful little daisy she was representing. She even had a small hoop decorated with delicate silk flowers.
I breathed a sigh of relief as even the rest of the competitors, along with their parents and eagle eyed grandparents, clapped and cheered when the winners were announced. Clearly I had made the right choice. With hands that weren’t quite steady I knelt down in front of her and carefully attached her flowery rosette.
‘Thank you,’ she said shyly, giving me a little smile, ‘my name’s Eliza.’
‘Well, congratulations, Eliza,’ I told her, ‘you look very pretty.’
It wasn’t until she reached up to offer me a daisy crown of my own that I realised there was something amiss with her arm. Her mum rushed forward to help and Eliza abandoned us to take her place for dancing around the pole.
‘She lost most of her lower arm to meningitis last year,’ said the woman, pulling a handkerchief out from her sleeve.
Her husband stepped forward and slipped his arm around her waist.
‘This time last year we didn’t even know if she’d be here,’ he said, his eyes filling with tears and fierce pride, ‘but she’s a little fighter, our Eliza, she’s had to be.’
‘Thank you for choosing her,’ said Eliza’s mum as she ran a hand over her swollen belly, ‘it means a lot to her to be told she’s pretty.’
‘Well,’ I sighed, ‘she’s beautiful.’
‘Be careful what you wish for when it’s your turn,’ the woman smiled as she positioned herself in the best spot to watch her daughter.
‘My turn for what?’
‘To dance,’ she said. ‘A couple of years ago I asked for another child.’
‘She didn’t get one that year,’ grinned her husband, ‘but now she’s carrying two!’
‘Oh, don’t worry about me,’ I smiled, eyeing the Maypole warily, ‘I’m not going anywhere near it!’
They both laughed and I made my excuses to join Jake who was still standing near the boys as they self-consciously prepared to join in.
‘Now don’t you look a picture,’ he smiled warmly, pointing at my crown, ‘you look like the May Queen herself. You should go round,’ he said, pointing at the dancers, ‘just once.’
‘No fear!’ I said, taking a step back. ‘Not after what I just heard!’
I’d never been prone to superstition but what Eliza’s parents had told me stuck fast in my mind. Life in the countryside had made quite enough of an impact on me during the last few weeks. I was already living a totally transformed life and doing things I hadn’t even dreamt of six months ago. However, the one thing I certainly didn’t need to change or enhance was upping my chances in the fertility stakes.
‘Not even for me?’ Jake wheedled.
‘Absolutely not,’ I laughed, ‘do you know what will happen if I do?’
‘I’ve got a pretty good idea,’ he smiled, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. ‘And I don’t think it would be the worst thing that could happen, do you?’
Suddenly the music and the shouting and the dancing seemed a very long way off. I wasn’t even sure if the ground beneath my feet was solid enough to carry my weight. Jake caught a free ribbon for himself and passed me another, and for the next few minutes we circled around and around, ducking, dodging and weaving but without once breaking eye contact and not for one second without unbridled laughter on our lips.
‘Oh, you’ve done it now,’ I giggled, finally falling into his arms as the music came to a stop.
‘I certainly hope so,’ he said.
He brushed my tangled hair away from my face and kissed me deeply. Finally it felt like my Jake was back.
Chapter 21
‘Just who the hell does she think she is?’
‘Lady of the Manor probably.’
Squeezed into the stiflingly hot Portakabin loos I listened intently to what was doubtless the latest round of local gossip being chewed over and spat out in front of the mirrors. The way the two women, just inches from where I was standing, were going at it made me feel grateful that I wasn’t the object of their sharp tongues.
‘Swanning around the place like she owns it,’ said the first sneering voice again, ‘and picking the Patterson kid. She must have known.’
My heart sank as I quietly closed the loo seat and perched on the edge.
‘Of course she did, someone would have told her.’
‘But I don’t really care about that. What’s pissed me off is that they let her enter the baking class. Mum should have been second, not her, and that scheming old bag Annie shouldn’t have entered anything either. Best in bloody show. I ask you!’
‘I’m well aware of that,’ snapped voice number one. ‘But it’s simple show etiquette, isn’t it? Anyone even half familiar with the system knows that. The host never enters. Old Mrs Harrison supplied dozens of scones and cakes to sell over the years, but she never expected to win a sodding rosette for them, did she?’
‘Do you think the judges felt obliged to place her then?’
‘Of course they did.’
‘But that’s terrible. I’m not sure that can be right. Everyone seems to really like her. They say she’s fitted in really well.’
‘Well, of course, they would say that, wouldn’t they? Little Miss “Butter Wouldn’t Melt” with her Boden blouses and patterned wellies is utter perfection, isn’t she? But I’ll tell you something.’
‘What?’
‘I’ll bet you anything you like she knows nothing about me and Jake or why he went scurrying off to London trailing after that clever brother of his with his tail between his legs.’
Stifling my sobs I waited until their cruel laughter had died away, then, having splashed my face with cold water, I made my way stealthily back to the marquee. I snatched my cake from the table, dumped it in the first available bin and went back up to the house with Annie’s chintz plate and tin and a cracking headache courtesy of the dozens of questions now whirring about in my brain.
It didn’t take a genius to work out that the person slagging me off in the loos and the person Harriet had been shouting about ‘being back’ were actually one and the same, and once that connection had been made, it was a short leap to the name of Jake’s ex-girlfriend: Holly.
I guessed she was also the one responsible for the shoulder-barge manoeuvre in the marquee and I mentally retraced my steps trying to remember what she looked like. However, it had all happened so quickly and so many other things had happened since, that the only thing I could recall about her with any real clarity was that she was tall, blonde and rather angular.
Chapter 22
The following morning, as I sat under one of the towering oak trees that bordered the fields, I watched on as the fairground was dismantled and packed away, along with the marquee which, collapsed on the damp grass, now looked as impressive as a deflated balloon. My heart felt like that marquee: squashed flat and trodden all over; and although in reality I knew it was only the end of the May Fair it felt like it was the end of so much more.
Unable and unwilling to put it off any longer I strode off down the track towards the cottage, which Annie had told me was called Meadowview Cottage, in search of some answers. I had been mulling things over and was now convinced that must have been where Jake and Holly had lived together. Once I’d finished there, I determined to find Jake and insist on being told exactly what all the furtive whispering and hushed conversations were about. If there really was a battle looming on the horizon I couldn’t possibly take part if my alleged allies were holding back the ammunition that could help me win it.
The single-storey cottage came into view as I turned the final corner on the dusty track. It looked innocuous enough, somewhat run-down but nonetheless potentially picturesque, nestled in a small dip and in the middle of its own patch of garden. I remembered Jake’s suggestion that tearing it down was an option he had been considering and felt rather sorry for the little place as I struggled to open the gate.
A closer look revealed that the garden was very neglected and overgrown and when I finally reached the window to the left of the door and peered through the grime, I stepped back in surprise. The bed in the room was dishevelled and unmade as if someone had only just pushed back the covers and climbed out and I half expected to find a face staring back at me and yelling about trespassing.
I waited for a few seconds, my heart hammering in my chest and then, as no one had appeared, took a deep breath and slipped along the weed covered path that ran down the side of the property. The back garden was in much the same state as the front and the rooms at the back looked similarly abandoned. There were dishes around the sink in the kitchen and a newspaper lay open on the table. Even the big clock above the door was still keeping time.
For a moment I wondered if maybe someone had broken in and was living there undetected, but the grass I had walked over hadn’t been disturbed for a long time and there was no sign of forced entry anywhere. Surely if someone was squatting there would be some tell-tale sign around the place; they couldn’t have just flown in.
I was certain that this mysterious cottage held the answers to unlocking the secrets everyone was keeping from me and I marched back to the farm intent on finding the keys and having a proper look inside.
It was still quiet in the kitchen, not even the dogs were up and about. Tired out from the exertions and excitement of the May Fair, Jake and Annie were doubtless making the most of a rare lie in. A fact I took no time in taking advantage of as I began my search for the keys to Meadowview Cottage, but what I found was much more worrying.
‘Jake,’ I hissed, sending the bedroom curtains flying back along the poles and letting the sun stream in, ‘Jake!’
He groaned and turned over, pulling one of my pillows over his head.
‘Come on,’ I said, pulling it off again, ‘I need to talk to you. This is important.’
‘What now?’ he groaned, his voice sounding muffled from under the bedclothes.
‘I need you to come down to the kitchen. I’ve got something to show you.’
‘If it’s plans to hold the May Fair here next year, you’re on your own. I’ve got work to do.’
‘But you might not have for much longer!’ I warned him. ‘Come on, this could be important.’
A few minutes later Jake stood with me in the kitchen, his arms firmly crossed as he surveyed the pile of unopened letters I’d discovered in my quest to find the cottage keys.
‘Where did you find these?’ he frowned, running a hand through his dishevelled hair and rubbing his tired eyes.
‘They were in the back of the dresser.’
Neither of us were sitting at the table. Instead we were keeping a safe distance in case the contents of the envelopes spontaneously combusted.
‘What were you doing in the back of the dresser?’
‘Looking for envelopes,’ I lied, ‘but that doesn’t really matter now, does it? The fact is that no one receives this many letters from their bank when it’s got good news to share, do they?’
Jake shrugged his shoulders.
‘Look at the postmarks,’ I said, reaching for the envelope on top of the pile. ‘You need to open them!’
‘No way!’ he shouted, then lowered his voice. ‘They’re addressed to Annie. I can’t go rifling through what isn’t mine. And you shouldn’t either,’ he added crossly.
‘Well, I’m sorry,’ I said, throwing the letter back on the table, ‘but I’ve kind of reached the point where I feel like I have to start trying to find things out for myself.’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Nothing.’
‘No, come on. If you’ve got something to say, let’s hear it.’
Creaking floorboards overhead warned us that Annie was on her way and Jake grabbed the pile of letters and quickly stuffed them back in the dresser.
‘I think that’s called denial,’ I muttered, picking up my basket and heading back out of the door.
I was relieved to find chick number four was decidedly brighter and continued with my chores feeling relieved that at least everything on the hen front was in order. However, on entering the kitchen after checking on Pip and Blaze, I discovered the atmosphere was its usual sunny self and knew instantly that nothing had been said about my worrying discovery.
‘Can I take the truck?’ I asked, setting down the basket and washing my hands at the sink.
‘Of course,’ said Jake equably, ‘I’m working in the orchards this morning and catching up with the bee man so I won’t be needing it.’
‘Doesn’t he have a name?’
I know I sounded peevish but Jake’s obviously jolly effort to make out that everything was fine and dandy was infuriating.
‘Charlie, I think,’ he said, scratching his head, ‘but everyone round here just calls him “the bee man”.’
‘I’m glad you’re feeling better, Amber,’ said Annie. ‘We missed you at the fairground last night but given all the work you’d been putting in I can’t say I’m surprised it caught up with you. Shame it couldn’t have held off until today, though.’
‘Or not arrived at all,’ smiled Jake.
‘Oh no,’ said Annie, ‘there’s always a price to pay.’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked, hanging the hand towel over the range rail.
‘In my experience,’ Annie explained, ‘everything pleasurable in life, everything you love, comes with a price. It’s getting the balance right and making sure the positives outweigh the negatives, that’s the tricky part.’
‘You know,’ I said, ‘I think you could be right. Listening to a certain girl slagging me off yesterday was probably the negative sent to balance out all the fun I’d been having. I’m guessing that the thought of her presence must have been the issue you were skirting around, Jake, when you were deciding whether or not you wanted to play the host.’
Jake dropped the paper he had been reading and Annie fixed him with a steely stare.
‘I said to you, you should have told her!’ she shouted, banging down her fist on the arm of the chair. ‘Didn’t I warn you no good would come from keeping secrets?’
‘You don’t even know it was her,’ Jake said wearily.
Annie, tight lipped, her face contorted with anger I would never have thought her capable of, said nothing. I’d had enough of the pair of them and their silly game playing.
‘Annie,’ I said, ignoring Jake’s comment, which was actually more of an admission than he had probably intended it to be, ‘people in glasshouses really shouldn’t throw stones.’ With that I grabbed the keys and stormed out of the house.
I pulled out of the yard and headed towards Wynbridge wondering what was being said in the kitchen and feeling increasingly guilty that I had taken my frustration out on Annie. I tried to focus all my attention on the road ahead and not think about Jake single-handedly struggling to squash all the worms back into the can that I had just ripped open.