I shook my head, heat climbing up my neck. I knew he was just messing around but hearing him call me hot and gorgeous did all kinds of things to me.
I had the blinding urge to fuck him right here in the middle of the club. Which either made me kinky as hell or so into Dean, I didn’t give a shit who knew it right then.
Dean lifted his chin at the bartender, who was pierced, tattooed, and sporting spiky blonde hair.
“Haven’t seen you in a long minute,” the bartender said. “What can I get for you and your friend?”
He looked me up and down appreciatively but was discreet about it.
“You cool with whatever they have on draft?” Dean asked, as he eyed the selection of brews.
“Sounds good,” I said, not really particular about my booze.
“This is your first time here since you’ve been back?” I asked, as we waited for our drinks, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer.
“Yep,” he said, nodding to a couple of men he recognized sitting on bar stools.
“I guess I just thought you’d—” I let out a breath. “I don’t know.”
“What?” he asked, angling his head toward me. “You thought I’d run out and get laid?”
I looked down at my feet, embarrassed for even asking. “Yeah, suppose so.”
Dean gripped my neck and planted a wet kiss on my lips. “Did you really think I could fuck you out of my system? Not a chance.”
I slid my fingers beneath his jaw and stared into his eyes. It was as if everything else fell away in that moment—the drone of the music and the conversations around us. The stares of the other patrons seated near us. There was warmth and affection in Dean’s gaze and all I could think was that I had placed it there.
Me. Some redneck from a hunting preserve.
There were plenty of hot men in this bar. Dean could have his fill of any one of them. Men who were probably academics like him, liberal minded, and intelligent. Men who could rock his world.
But he was choosing me. At least for tonight.
Dean never broke his gaze, his fingers bracing my waist, until the bartender slid our tall glasses of beer toward us. Dean paid before I even had the chance to retrieve my wallet and in the next second we were toasting and sipping our drinks.
A couple of guys were waving from the back of the room, attempting to gain our attention, and I recognized Tate immediately. Not because of his blue hair, but because he was wearing glittery eyelashes, lipstick, and a large cocktail ring on his finger. He was definitely a pretty boy, mesmerizing really, and I wondered if he ever dressed in full drag. Given his charisma, he would probably have a large following if he ever took the stage.
“Uh, those must be your friends,” I said and Dean grabbed for my hand and headed their way.
There were three more men seated at their table, all of them handsome in their own way, and they shook my hand as Dean made his introductions.
“See, didn’t I tell you Callum was hot as sin?” Tate said to one of the guys, who smiled and nodded. Tonight he wore a T-shirt that read, Biggest Lesbian In the Room.
“Just ignore him,” another dude named Stephen said. His long eyelashes fluttered and framed his brown eyes in an enticing way.
“I’m only being honest,” Tate said, jutting out his lower lip, as he looked me up and down. “Bet Callum makes a fantastic top.”
I felt my cheeks flame hot. But I had nothing to be ashamed of, if anything I should finally feel free to talk openly in a roomful of gay men. It would just take some getting used to.
“Rein it in,” Dean said, throwing him a death glare.
“Nah, no worries.” I flung my arm around Dean’s shoulder. “I actually love to bottom, too. I’m hoping my boy here hooks me up tonight.”
The other guys whistled as Dean’s eyes flared. His mouth split into a wide grin and I felt like I had broken the ice a bit.
“Is that true?” Dean whispered in my ear, after we sat down in a couple of high back chairs at the table. “You want me to fuck you sometime?”
I kissed his cheek, my mouth going dry, even imagining the prospect. “Damn, now you’ve got me hard, thinking about your cock in my ass. Does that answer your question?”
Dean swore under his breath and reached for my hand, tugging it to his lap, so I could feel the boner he was sporting. He teased me mercilessly by keeping my hand there as he talked to his friends across the table about their summer jobs or classes.
I swallowed roughly thinking about anything else besides sex with Dean—like how crowded this place must really get when fall term was back in session.
“So Tate says you live on a farm?” Stephen asked across the table and I felt like the outsider all over again. Dean squeezed my fingers to either support me or temper me, I wasn’t sure which. But if it was the latter, I didn’t appreciate it very much. Sure, I could be grumpy, but I knew how to use my manners out in public.
“Not exactly. It’s a hunting preserve and I help run it with my family,” I said, cringing at having to reveal that hot button word. I hoped nobody tried to challenge me on guns and animal cruelty. Though I stood by my beliefs and could even bust some of the lamer myths, I was not in the mood tonight. “We only keep chickens, and the rest of the animals are free to live off the land as they see fit.”
When Stephen only nodded and then began talking to one of the other guys about something in the local news, I relaxed against the seat.
And after another beer, I was feeling pretty comfortable in this crowd.
The music got louder, the bass more frenetic, and a number of men jumped up to dance to the techno beat. Dean asked if I was interested in getting my groove on but I swore him off. This kind of music usually just made my teeth clatter and gave me a headache.
“You go,” I said, grinning. “I’ll watch.”
I sipped on my beer as Dean swayed his hips with a group of men in the middle of the floor. He looked sexy as hell and when he began dirty dancing with a couple of the guys from the table, my dick swelled. It was fucking hot and maybe if he had allowed some strangers to grope him, I would’ve been jealous, but these were his friends and they were only having a good time.
“I bet you feel like a kid in a candy store here,” Tate said, sidling up beside me.
“What do you mean?” I asked, as he rapped his knuckles in time to the beat.
“You can have your pick of anybody in this bar.” I looked around the room and saw that several eyes were indeed honing in on me.
I guess he might be right. I could go home with anybody I supposed. But that just wasn’t in my blood. I’d picked up men in bars before and even though I got my rocks off, it also felt pretty empty driving back home alone.
“Too bad I only want one person here,” I said, after sipping from the bottom of my glass.
His brow quirked and his gaze followed mine to the dance floor.
“You got it bad for Dean, huh?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Guess I do.”
“Dean’s had his share of flings but never something like this. The way he acts around you is different.” His eyes darted away with something that looked like remorse. “Wish I knew how you guys could make it work.”
I wasn’t expecting that response from him. He seemed so flippant and lively and happy-go-lucky. But maybe he had loved and lost as well.
“Me too,” I mumbled but I wasn’t even sure he could hear me over the buzz of the crowd.
The lights dimmed and the music changed to a slower tempo. Dean hooked his fingers, motioning for me to join him. A few of the couples were already lip locked and grinding on each other.
I stood and made my way past swaying twosomes to get to him. He grabbed my hand, swinging it around his back, which was sticky with moisture from gyrating his hips the past hour.
“I wanted to dance with you at the wedding. So here’s my chance,” he said. “Though it would’ve been so much better underneath the moon.”
“Yeah?” I murmure
d, allowing my hope to surge again.
“Who could resist that setting?” he said, sinking into my embrace. I tightened my hold on his waist as his arms glided around my neck.
I could smell his grapefruit shampoo and when his lips brushed against my chin I sighed.
His wet kisses traveled to my ear and then across my jaw line. When our mouths met, it was just like that first time at Pines Ledge. My heart was pounding out of my chest, Dean’s skin gleamed with a sheen of sweat, and I could’ve sworn I’d never tasted sweeter lips.
Even tonight as his tongue licked inside my mouth with a mix of mint and salt and beer, I didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world except right next to him.
36
Dean
“We can leave any time you want,” I said into Callum’s neck, smelling him, tasting his skin. It felt so good having him here, even though I knew he felt out of sorts. What he didn’t realize was that if he were just himself, everybody would fall in love with him, same as me. “I only thought you’d want to be in a place where you felt…”
“I appreciate that,” he said, resting his forehead against mine. “But a bar is still only a bar. People hanging out, hooking up. It’s not always my scene.”
“So you don’t want to hook up with anybody from this bar?” I asked in a whisper.
His head sprang back. “Hell no.”
“Not even me?” I asked coyly.
He tugged my hips flush against his and growled in my ear.
“I want you so bad, you don’t even know the half of it,” he said, after nipping at my shoulder. “This is your world and I don’t know how I fit unless I’m next to you, then it feels…”
“What?” I asked against his lips.
“Feels damn good,” he said, kissing me. “Like it all clicks into place.”
“Same here.” I sighed, my heart feeling like it might burst wide open because I didn’t know what to do about this big hunk of man who held me securely in his arms.
The thing I said to him earlier in the car about not knowing where my job would lead me was true. But it was also for his benefit because he only recently came out and maybe he needed to explore his newfound status a bit more. Get off the preserve and see what it’s all about, not be chained to text messages from me.
Right then Tate headed over to us, and nudged at my arm playfully.
“I’m about to hook up with some dude. Says he’s at The Nickel tonight.” He held out his cell to show me the photo he found on the gay app we all used. “He messaged that he’s waiting for me at the bar. What do you think?”
I stared at the photo of the buff dude who looked a little too shiny and fake tan for my taste. But he had muscles, which was what Tate liked. “I think you’d go for it no matter what I say. But sure, go meet him.”
“You think so, Callum?” he asked shoving the phone in his direction.
Callum’s shoulder hunched up as if surprised he’d even asked. “I say yeah, but don’t leave with him unless you feel, you know, safe.”
I wondered if that warning had come because Callum was being particularly cautious about being in the city, or if something had happened once to somebody he knew.
“He looks like a teddy bear farm boy like you,” Tate said, twirling his finger. “Should be okay.”
Callum watched as Tate walked away and I had trouble reading his body language. His face has become a mask, his body rigid.
“A bear is just a type for gays. Tate’s kind for sure,” I said, placing my hand on his shoulder. “And there’s this app you can use on your smart phone to meet people in your own city when you’re out—”
Callum took a step back and snorted out a laugh. “Really?”
“What?” My eyebrows slammed together. “Why are you—?”
“There you go again, schooling me. Do you really think I’m that naïve?” he said, throwing up his hands. “You think I’ve never heard of Grindr? I’ve used it to fuck my share of men.”
“Callum, I never meant…” I sputtered. “I just thought…”
“You figured us rednecks still used rotary phones or maybe telegrams? Yeah, that’s it. We meet in the hayloft and screw next to them stallions in the barn,” he said in his best southern drawl. “Don’t be so full of yourself, city boy.”
He spun on his heels to leave the dance floor. I attempted to grab hold of his arm. “Where the hell are you going?”
“I think I’m done here.” He passed my table of friends and headed toward the exit.
I followed him outside as he strode down the pavement. “What are you going to do, walk home?”
“Maybe I will, “ he threw over his shoulder, as he turned the corner down some side street the opposite direction of my car. “Or maybe I’ll get lost. I’ve never been without my horse and carriage.”
“Will you fucking stop already? I get it, okay? Yeah, I spew off crap.” I caught up to him and tugged on his forearm. “And you’re not stupid. Fuck, you’re smarter than me and you don’t even realize it. Maybe you have everything I want and I’m envious of that.”
He spun on me, his teeth clamping down. “Envy?”
“That’s right,” I said, latching onto his fingers. This time he didn’t pull away. A couple of people passed by us on the sidewalk, but other than that we were alone—at least momentarily. “You have an amazing family. People who are always in your business, have your back, and love you no matter what. I wish I had a Billie and a Cassie in my life. I wish they were my siblings.”
His eyes tempered to swirls of golden amber, but there was still underlying tension and anger in his gaze. “You have parents, who—”
“Parents who throw themselves into work and charity events, who won’t admit out loud that I’m gay. Who are never around for holidays, because they lost a son, and it’s too painful for them,” I said, my voice gruff. “Little do they remember I’m the other child who needs those things. I don’t have anybody, not really. Not anymore. I’m not part of any kind of family.”
“Fuck. You listen here,” Callum said, stepping forward and shoving me against the brick building. His face buried in my neck. “No matter what happens with us, you can always come to Shady Pines. My family will always welcome you. Cassie and Billie, they…they love you.”
A muddled word caught in his throat and then he mashed his mouth against mine. A deep and bruising kiss that leaked into my heart and stained my soul.
He snatched my hands, lifting them above my head, as he crushed his body against mine, enclosing me in all of that warmth, right there in the middle of the street.
It was the first time I’d witnessed Callum entirely uninhibited in public and it was bittersweet and breathtaking all at once.
His heartbeat was thundering against my chest, his stiff cock rubbing my groin, and I was suspended in some sort of dreamland where none of our differences existed.
When he finally dragged his lips away from mine we were panting heavily into each other’s mouths.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said in a hoarse voice.
He looked around as if only just realizing where the hell we were and what the heck we were doing.
We drove to my apartment in overwhelming silence, hands clasped together, and somehow I just knew deep in my gut that I would never have this again. Not with him.
I didn’t know what to say or even feel, I just wanted the heavy weight to be lifted off my chest.
As soon as we were inside the door, we kicked out of our shoes and tore off each other’s clothes, leaving a trail of shirts and pants to my room. I’d worry about cleaning up later.
We stumbled onto the bed and he dragged me on top, his tongue in my ear, his teeth along my jaw, his fingers burrowed tightly in my hair.
“Fuck me,” he said, his tongue licking into my mouth. “Please fuck me. I need to feel you.”
I stared long and hard into his eyes, looking for the underpinning of truth.
“I want to remember exactly how you felt
inside me,” he huffed against my lips and grabbed my ass to tow my groin firmly against him. “I need to remember.”
I bit back a moan, despair and longing warring in my chest. I rose up on my elbows, stretching for a condom and lube.
He lifted his knees and spread his legs open for me. And hell, Callum offering himself up to me like that was so damn incredible.
I carelessly slicked my fingers with lube, desperate to feel connected to him. His cock was enflamed and seeping and as I pushed my fingers inside him, he moaned, mashing his head side to side on the pillow.
His knees trembled when I kissed a stripe on the inside of his thigh. He cried out, clutching at the sheets, when I licked around the head of his cock, as I simultaneous pumped my fingers in and out of his ass.
After I rolled on the condom Callum pleaded with his eyes. I slipped my cock against his hole, applying light pressure, wondering if I’d even last.
“Now Dean,” he rasped. “Right fucking now.”
Driving inside him in one solid thrust, a fine tremor crackled across my shoulders and down the center of my spine.
“Uuuuhhhhh.” A warm flush stained Callum’s cheeks, neck, and chest.
I hissed remaining motionless and attempting not to break apart right then and there.
Callum moaned, arching his back, and reaching for my shoulder to drag me into a messy kiss.
“Does it sting?” I asked against his mouth, as I nipped greedily at his lips.
“Some,” he said, his hand quivering as it tightened around my nape, aligning our foreheads. “Don’t care. Because it’s you.”
He sank against the sheets and sighed, his cinnamon eyelashes shuttering. “You. Only you.”
I stared at his swollen lips and glassy eyes, my chest feeling tight and funny, as if a pile of feathers had been released, churning madly against my ribcage.
Allowing him time to adjust to my cock, I plunged forward in shallow jabs. Callum muttered senselessly, the tip of his cock purple and leaking against his abdomen.
Gripping his length, I pumped up and down in a steady pace, as I marveled at how our bodies fit so seamlessly. I shuddered at the sensation of his narrow hole sheathing my shaft.
The Deepest Blue (Roadmap to Your Heart #2) Page 19