She left her brother in conversation with Jud, trying to control her trembling limbs, she went without apparent haste to the downstairs cloakroom and stayed there for as long as she dared. When she came out her brother and Jud had moved on to where she had seen him shepherding his other guests, but had stayed in conversation with Rupert waiting for her. Jud looked superb in his dinner jacket, and she knew his eyes were on her as she approached.
`Glad you could make it, Lucy,' he said sauvely, making it sound to Rupert, who was listening, the sort of polite remark any host would make, but Lucy knew it wasn't, and it needled her sufficiently to make her lift her head proudly as a small burst of annoyance gripped her that Jud Hemming thought he had only to, snap his fingers and everyone would come running.
`I wouldn't have missed it,' she replied with quiet politeness, and as grey-green, flint-hard eyes met sparking velvet brown eyes, she knew they were both aware that a private battle was going on between them. Then with an easy charm Jud was escorting them to join his other guests.
`I think you know everyone here,' he said, and Lucy glanced around the dozen or so people there.
At first they were just a mixed-up jumble of people dressed up in their best, preparing to enjoy a pleasant social evening, then when Jud excused himself and went to greet another couple who had just come in, Lucy saw that indeed they did know everyone. Charles Arbuthnot and his wife
were there listening to Joyce Appleby holding forth. Joyce,, she saw, was accompanied by Gordon Berkeley, so he must be her latest. A waiter hovered with a tray of drinks and Lucy, knowing she would need all her senses about her to get her through tonight, had just smiled a refusal when a gentle voice at her side said, 'Lucy, I'm so glad you could come,' and this time the words weren't said with sarcasm held just at bay, but in a tone that said they were sincerely meant.
Lucy turned her head quickly as she recognised Mrs Hemming's voice. 'Mrs Hemming,' she said, stunned, and couldn't think of another thing to say. She hadn't dreamt Jud's mother would be here tonight. He should have warned her, she thought, an anger against him growing within her. Then the good manners of her upbringing came quickly to her aid and she turned to introduce her brother to Mrs Hemming.
`Rupert and I met earlier today,' Mrs Hemming revealed, causing Lucy to wish Rupert had mentioned it to her, for she certainly wouldn't have attended had she known Jud's mother was here.
She had no idea what Jud had said to his mother about their engagement, but knew she just wasn't up to playing the part of his fiancee tonight-the other people in the room didn't matter—but with the frost between her and Jud only just beneath the surface, Mrs Hemming wasn't going to be fooled by any act she put on. And looking at the warmth in her eyes, so different from the arctic conditions of her son's eyes, Lucy knew she no longer wanted any part in deceiving this woman. Rupert had seen an acquaintance of his who unfairly appeared to have two attractive young ladies to himself, and with a charm that would be quite devastating when he had matured a little, he asked Mrs Hemming if they would mind if he left them.
`He's going to break a few hearts before he's very much older, I'm afraid,' Mrs Hemming opined as they both
watched Rupert make the trio a quartet and saw the smiles of the two girls turn on to him in the easy acceptance of their age group. 'Now; my dear,' Mrs Hemming went on, turning her attention to Lucy, `Jud has given me strict instructions not to overdo things tonight, for all I'm perfectly well,' she added as a small look of anxiety crossed Lucy's features. But knowing I shall get told off if I don't obey orders, I wonder if you would come and sit with me so we can chat?'
Lucy was torn between wanting to stay with Mrs Hemming and wanting to make a bolt for it as panic gripped her—she knew the subject of her engagement could not be ignored. Then Mrs Hemming beamed at her with a mischievous smile that made them conspirators somehow, a smile that told Lucy Jud's mother wasn't too worried about the possibility of being told off by her son. Lucy joined forces and went to sit with her.
She was sitting on a settee beside Mrs Hemming when Jud came back into the room. He was instantly waylaid by someone, but she noticed his eyes had gone first to where she and his mother were sitting before he gave the person who had buttonholed him his attention.
To her surprise the engagement was not mentioned by Mrs Hemming, causing Lucy to wonder again what if anything Jud had told his mother. She expected at any minute that Mrs Hemming would notice her ringless finger and to comment on it, but she didn't, but carried on talking as though they were almost mother and daughter, answering Lucy's enquiry as to Lottie's health without the restraint Lucy would have thought would have been there if she had known she was now talking to her son's ex-fiancée.
'Louie is very well—she asked to be remembered to you —she quite took to you the weekend you were with us,' Mrs Hemming told her. Then Jud was standing over them, saying dinner was ready and assisting his mother off the settee. Lucy stood up too and for a brief moment her eyes
met his over the top of his mother's head. Lucy felt sick at the lack of warmth in his look and turned her head away, her eyes going frantically in search of her brother.
Dinner was not the ordeal she had thought it would be. The huge table, ornamented as it was with an exquisite centre floral decoration of small flowers, was round, so there was no head to the table. But Lucy was startled to find Jud had placed her to one side of him and his mother at the other. She tried not to see any significance in this but knew Jud left little to chance, and felt quite flustered for a moment until it dawned on her that since no official announcement of their engagement had been made—or broken for that matter—while there were other people present—her eye was caught by Mrs Arbuthnot and they exchanged pleasant smiles—since her and Rupert's presence here was to show anyone who thought otherwise that Rupert was socially acceptable it wasn't likely, she reasoned, that Jud would have Rupert's sister very far away from him, affianced to him or not.
Her reasoning wasn't very brilliant, but it was the best she could do, she thought as she struggled to get through her first course while trying not to be so totally aware of Jud sitting beside her. She wondered if she was going to have to sit through the whole meal without addressing one word to him. Now wasn't the time to apologise for hitting him, and quite honestly she rather thought she had left it too late to bring the matter up. But some time during the evening she ought to be able to bring herself to thank him for all the help he had been to Rupert—she shuddered to think what would have become of her brother if Jud hadn't been there.
`You seem to be struggling.' That was Jud's voice; he had been talking to someone else but turned to her now, his voice sounding quiet in her ears amid the buzz of general conversation. Her eyes flew to his to see what he meant by that remark-he did have an uncanny knack of
reading her mind. There was a faint smile on his face, she saw—well, he could hardly scowl at her in front of his other guests, could he? she thought, trying not to see anything specially for her in his smile. She saw his eyes drop to her plate. 'No appetite?' he queried in clarification.
`I ... I never was a big eater,' she returned, finding her voice with difficulty.
`We're still on the first course,' he said, reminding her that small appetite or no, she should be making a better job of it than the was doing. Deliberately she placed a forkful of the delicious salmon into her mouth. 'Delightful as you look, Lucy, I shouldn't advise you to lose any more weight.' Her eyes met his—so he thought she looked delightful? His mouth was smiling and at last she observed a slight thawing of the ice in his eyes. 'Perhaps delightful isn't the right word,' he added, and as he watched a faint pink came over her cheeks, purely she realised because she now had his sole attention, and it was so good to see the ice melt. 'I should have said you look stunning.'
`Thank you,' she received his compliment quietly, then was grateful when he turned his head as someone else caught his attention, and as the meal progressed she began to feel better, and won some of
Jud's approval by tucking in as more delicious courses followed.
After dinner they returned to the room they had vacated. Lucy found herself with Mr and Mrs Arbuthnot and managed for a few minutes to make surface conversation, but when Mrs Arbuthnot said, 'I was so pleased when I heard about you and Mr Hemming ...' Lucy felt a flutter of panic and couldn't have been more pleased that Joyce Appleby chose that moment to join them, launching straightaway into an item of gossip that had an enthralled Mrs Arbuthnot giving Joyce her full attention, and Lucy, with a silent word of thanks to Joyce, was able to drift away from them.
`Enjoying yourself ?' Rupert asked some thirty minutes
later, coming to join her as she entered the room after popping into the cloakroom to renew her lipstick—she had left it until now because so many of the other women present had repaired there after dinner, and she was heedful of the intimacies that were bandied in an all-women conclave.
`Having a lovely time,' Lucy replied, and as music began to play and people began dancing she felt a moment's trepidation as Rupert's eyes went to the blonde Alison he had been talking to before dinner. Any minute now Rupert would go and ask Alison to dance, of that she was sure, which would mean she would be left on her own. Normally that wouldn't have bothered her, but since Mrs Hemming had a seat free to one side of her, for all she was in conversation with plump Mrs Sanders who looked to have taken every diamond she possessed out from under lock and key for tonight, Lucy felt the pull to go and sit beside Jud's mother, while at the same time being afraid of what might ensue from any conversation they had. She owned she might be being over-sensitive, since she had sat with Mrs Hemming before dinner and had not been made to feel uncomfortable in the process, but ...
`Dance with me, Lucy.'
She hadn't seen Jud coming up to her and reasoned that he must have just come in through the door behind her. He wasn't asking her to dance but ordering her to, and she hated herself for being too weak to refuse him.
Jud's arm came round her as they reached the area that had been cleared for dancing and although his hold was not tight, Lucy couldn't have said it was loose either as her heart began to thump wildly within her. She tried to calm herself by instilling the thought that she was just the first of his duty dances.
Jud steered her to the top end of the room, an area that to give atmosphere was not as well lighted as the rest of the room, and Lucy thought then what better chance would she
have to apologise than now when he couldn't fully see the expression on her face.
I'm-I'm sorry I hit you, Jud,' she blurted in a now-ornever plunge. But before she could add more Jud had turned her and they were dancing into the full lighted area —she dared a peep at him to see how he had taken her apology.
Jud was looking down and to anyone watching it would appear he was smiling at her. She waited for his polite comment, for the smile never left his face, and then he said between gritted teeth, 'Shut up, Lucy.'
His reply made her angry, but since he was able to put up a show of smiling, even though that ice was back in his eyes again, she beamed a smile his way and asked, her own eyes cold, 'How else can I do anything other when you put it so charmingly?' She had the satisfaction of seeing his smile crack, and then the music came to an end.
Feeling drained from her short contact with him, Lucy felt his arm drop from her and decided to head for the cloakroom until she regained some of her poise, but her intention was forestalled when Jud took hold of her arm—she knew he had felt her tug of protest that would have been missed by anyone else watching, but he ignored it—and led her over to the vacant seat beside his mother.
`Lucy doesn't feel like dancing anymore,' he said smoothly, and like it or not Lucy was forced to sit down. She refused to look at him, and after seeing his mother had everything she wanted, he asked Lucy if she would like something to drink.
`No, thank you, Jud,' she answered with a sweetness he would know was assumed if no one else did. 'Dancing with you has made me lightheaded enough without the added stimulant of alcohol.'
She thought Jud was going to laugh, which wasn't what she wanted because he knew as well as she did that her veiled sarcasm was meant to be cutting. She was still
undecided whether or not she had amused him when he turned to the woman on the other side of his mother and asked her to dance.
`Not as bad as you thought it was going to be?' Mrs Hemming queried as soon as Jud and his partner were away, and Lucy wasn't sure whether Mrs Hemming was referring to her dance with Jud or if she somehow knew that she hadn't wanted to come here tonight. 'I didn't mean to pry,' Mrs Hemming continued when she could see from Lucy's face that the girl wasn't sure how to answer her. 'I just thought you might have mixed feelings since you and Jud have temporarily split up.'
`Temporarily split up?' Lucy echoed, trying to wake up her brain to do some quick thinking but finding it was still on its starting blocks.
`I'm not trying to interfere—believe me I'm not,' Mrs Hemming said gently. 'But when Jud explained that he thought he had rushed you too much, got you to agree to marry him when you were still emotionally all at sea after losing your parents, I couldn't help wondering if there was anything I could do. Would it help if you got away for a while? You're more than welcome to come back to Malvern with me if you need somewhere quiet to think things out.
`Oh no, thank you, Mrs Hemming.' Lucy's refusal was automatic, a smile accompanying her words.
`All right, my dear-I do hope, though, that for both your sakes you'll have something to say to Jud soon.'
Oh, she'd have something to say to him, Lucy thought, realising now Jud had put the blame on-to her for their broken engagement—well, it had been her who had called an end to the farce, she recalled in fairness—but for Jud to have told his mother the break was only temporary, as though once she had sorted herself out they would be engaged again, infuriated her. Infuriated her even more because Jud had put her in the position of not being able
to deny it if she didn't want to upset his mother-he knew how she regarded his mother; he knew she would avoid upsetting her at all costs.
She looked at the people dancing nearest to them, saw Jud was among one of the couples and as his glance looked their way she sent him a smile of pure vitriol when he looked at her and was pleased to see he almost, but not quite, missed his step.
Then someone came and took the seat next to Mrs Hemming and engaged her in conversation, and Lucy was relieved when the conversation extended to her that there was no room in it for talk of a personal nature.
She was glad to be able to catch Rupert's eye when she judged it was time to leave. Jud had not asked her to dance again, she hadn't expected him to—he had read her acid smile all right.
`Ready to go?' Rupert asked, coming over to her. From his face she could tell he had thoroughly enjoyed his evening.
`Do you mind?'
Not a bit,' he declared, then with a wickedness that was part of the old Rupert, 'Wouldn't do to let the ladies have too much of me on one night.' He grinned down at his sister and she had to smile back at his sauce. 'I'll just tell Jud we're leaving ...'
While Rupert went to see Jud, Lucy said goodbye to Mrs Hemming and those nearby her. Others were still dancing so she knew it would be a general wave as they made their exit, but she felt a tinge of disquiet when Jud joined her and Rupert at the door and showed every intention of going to the outer door with them. If she wasn't still feeling angry with Jud for what he had told his mother, she would have told him not to leave his guests, that she and Rupert could find their own way out, but she didn't trust herself to speak to him without flaring up, and guessed that he knew it too, so she declined to say anything as he
walked with them, mentally preparing herself to offer him a cool handshake and mouth the usual polite utterances.
At the door, however, her plans to give him a chilly goodnight were thwarted by Jud addressing Rupert, saying, The night has turned cold, Rupert-I imagine with all the cars here yo
urs is some way away from the door. You didn't bring a wrap, did you?' he turned to ask Lucy when she knew very well he'd seen them arrive that he was aware she hadn't. 'Perhaps you would bring your car up to the door to save Lucy catching a chill.'
Rupert went cheerfully to do his bidding, and as the door closed after him, keeping the night air out, Lucy thought she didn't care very much to being treated like Jud's delicate great-aunt. He was only doing it to needle her, of that she was sure. He knew it wouldn't take very much to get her to lose her temper and challenge him with what he must know his mother had told her. Deliberately turning her back on anything that would aggravate her further, she said the opposite of what she knew he was expecting.
`I haven't thanked you yet for all you've done for Rupert.' She regretted that her words came out coolly, and not in any way as she would have wished them said, for she was sincerely grateful.
`There's no need for your thanks,' said Jud. 'Particularly as it hurts you so much to voice them.'
`I'm sorry.' Instantly she apologised, knowing that by voicing her thanks in the offhand way she had, she had offended his sense of niceness. 'I really am grateful, Jud,' she said, capitulating fully, all anger with him forgotten. `It was very good of you, especially since ...' she stopped there, realising that in an endeavour to impress on him how sincere she was she was in danger of saying too much.
`Especially since—what?' he asked, and she knew she wasn't going to get away without answering him—she should have known he was too smart for her.
`Well,' she went on, then not liking having to wriggle in front of him, 'well, you said when I asked that you were doing it for me—and I can't think why other than you feel you might owe me something since I couldn't accept your gift of my mother's ring—I ... and I—meant it was especially good of you since you have no respect for me.'
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