by Rita Sawyer
“I accept your apology,” It sucked that he couldn’t see her face to see if she really did, because if Dade had to go by her tone of voice he wasn’t sure he believed her. “But I still think we need to think about what’s been going on and where it’s going.”
He didn’t want to discuss that over the phone. “Have you decided when you’re coming back?”
“Not yet,” she said.
“Okay, I’ll call you later to check in and see if you firmed up your plans.” He hung up without saying goodbye, because it seemed too final, and he didn’t want her to start thinking that way if she already wasn’t.
Dade dropped the phone to the bed, and pulled the letter out of his pocket. He couldn’t think of a reason to put it off any longer. Hopefully Teddy was smart enough to realize Dade might be in trouble and bestow him with some final insight on how to deal with Rosie. He unfolded the paper and his gaze misted a little when he spotted Teddy’s familiar scrawl.
The soft-hearted fool hadn’t typed out the letter, or had it dictated. He’d hand written it. The deep creases probably meant no one else had seen it, unless Rosie had read it. That could be one explanation for why she had wanted him to read it in front of her, but another could have been she just wanted to know what it said. Dade was torn between wanting to know and wanting to send it through the shredder.
‘Dade,
Since you or Rosie found these letters I’m guessing something went wrong with my plan. Damn, it wasn’t very good, but that’s because I couldn’t bring my ace in the hole in on it. So without you helping me find a way to get you two to spend time together this was the only thing I could think of. So let me start by saying I’m sorry. You know I would never have done this if I had any other options. I apologize for putting you in the position I did, but that I truly believe that it was the best thing for both of you. Not just personally, but for the business too.
Over the years I have watched you grow from a sad, hurt, and angry kid who’d just lost his parents into a fine man. I couldn’t be any prouder. You’ve earned everything you’ve gotten, don’t ever forget that, or let anyone try to tell you differently.
Now I’m going to tell you my hopes for your future. All I really want is for you to find a woman who deserves what you have to offer her and settle down, even if it turns out not to be Rosie. Though it would be wonderful if you two managed to fall in love. Start the family that you’ve always wanted. Fill your house and heart with love, and children.
And if you wouldn’t mind do me a favor. Check in on Rosie from time to time. She acts like her independence is really important to her, but I think she’s just waiting for the right man to come along and capture her heart. Help her find someone who won’t try to take her independence away, but be there to support her. My Baby Girl deserves that, and I want her to get it.
I’m sorry I won’t be there to see you find the love of your life, but never give up on the knowledge that she is out there somewhere.
Love Always,
Teddy’
The old man wanted too much sometimes, but Dade knew he only wanted the best for him and Rosie. So even though it would be a peculiar type of torture Dade was going to do as Teddy asked and make sure she found the right guy for herself, even if it wasn’t him. Dade couldn’t do it until he figured out what he wanted and how Rosie fit into that. Then he needed to find out what Rosie wanted. Maybe the stars would collide, lightning would strike, and they’d want the same thing.
He hated to think about Teddy not being around to see either of them settle down, but Dade was going to do his best to make it all happen. Dade had always thought that when he did get married Teddy would stand up with him as his best man. Now that would never happen. But damn it, he could honor Teddy in another way. He was going find the lives Teddy wanted for him and Rosie. Hopefully Rosie would give him another chance for it to be with them together, but if not he was going to have to get over her and find someone else. It wouldn’t be easy, because he had a bad feeling that he was going to compare every woman he met to her.
Still he wasn’t getting any younger and he wanted to be a dad someday. His first born was going to be named in honor of his best friend and mentor. Of course whoever he married would have to agree to it, but his argument was a strong one and if she loved him the way she should she would agree.
He could worry about that later. Right now he had to focus on this situation with Rosie. Dade had six weeks and he was going to do whatever he had to do to repair the damage his deception, and Teddy’s manipulation, had done.
Chapter Eleven
Dade crouched down to undo the puppy’s pink and purple rhinestone leashes from their matching collars. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded. He had to avoid tails that wagged wildly, paws that waved inches from his face, and noses that dove straight for his crotch. Dade hoped to hell that they grew out of that phase damn quick. As he stood up they dashed over to the water bowls Rosie must have refilled while he was walking them, which meant in about an hour he’d be walking them again. He closed the gate behind him so the pups would stay in the mudroom while he and Rosie had breakfast.
“Morning,” he said as he entered the kitchen.
“Good morning.” From the sound of it hers had been much more cheery than his so far.
“Did you sleep well?” He sure as hell hadn’t, and it had nothing to do with the two whining pups in their kennels beside the bed.
“Mmm-hmm.” She carried two plates over and placed them on the table. “Eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”
Dade sat down and looked at the scrambled eggs, bacon, and Rosie’s special cheesy biscuit. “You don’t have to cook for me.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m cooking for me it’s no big deal to make you a plate.” She dug into her food ending the conversation for now.
Dade picked up his fork, but he just moved the food around on his plate. Things between them just hadn’t been the same since the night she went to dinner with her friends, and he didn’t know what to do about it. She’d only been gone two nights, but it had been two really long agonizing nights for him. She’d been home for three days. The first one she’d spent reading him the riot act for the accident, and not telling her about the accident before she left. Since then he wondered if she was trying to kill him with kindness. It was basically like they were starting all over except she was being more pleasant than when she first arrive, yet at the same time she was detached. Never mind sex, she hadn’t even kissed him. Damn, she hadn’t even touched him. She had diverted all her affection to the two four legged bundles of love that followed her everywhere she went.
She walked around the house smiling and cooing at them like she used to with him. Not being able to touch her that was driving him insane. Seeing her cuddle with the puppies, she’d named Zsa Zsa and Ava, and not being in on it was making him ache to touch her even worse. He couldn’t believe he was actually jealous of the dogs.
For once she wasn’t doing anything to provoke him either. His head must not be on right, because he missed her antagonizing him. He needed to fix this mess between them, because in less than six weeks she was going to walk out of his life. Not for good since he was damn sure Teddy was going to have them running the company together, even though he hadn’t managed to get them to fall in love. Dade didn’t know if he could handle working with her and not having some kind of personal relationship.
Worse, what if she hooked up with someone else? It would kill him to see her smile at another man the way she smiled at him. She sighed and he looked over at her. Rosie stood there looking out the window.
Dade’s instincts told him not to push too hard, but he was losing patience with them both. “Rosie, you said you accepted my apology.”
“I did, and I do.” She nodded.
“Are we ever going to be able to get things back the way they were?” His question came out a little gruffer than he meant for it to.
“Where were they exactly?” She asked pinning him with h
er gaze as if she was expecting him to say in bed.
It was true, but there was more to it than that, much more. And because of that Dade didn’t know how to answer. “Um…”
He thought they had been going well. Neither of them had seemed to be in a rush to label what had been going on between them. He was now, he just didn’t know how. They had been lovers, friends, and something more he couldn’t describe. Was it love? It could’ve been a start, but he’d never let a woman get close enough to really know what it would feel like so he wasn’t sure.
“What we had was really nice—”
“Whoa.” He had to stop her right there. “Nice? Seriously? There were times when you had me so hot I thought I might spontaneously combust.”
She smiled at him and Dade saw a flash of that sparkle in her eyes that he’d been missing. “That’s sweet, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened with my uncle.”
“I should have told you what he was up to, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it myself and I didn’t want to add more pressure to what you were going through.”
“Dade, relax. What I meant was he left us so unexpectedly. You never know when your time could be up. Playing house was okay for a little while, but I need to focus on my future”
“I see.”
She shook her head “No, I don’t think you do.”
“You had fun getting to know me, but now it’s time to find the guy mommy and daddy wants for you.” He got up grabbed his plate and headed for the sink.
“Is that what you really think?” She asked following him.
He turned and crossed his arms over his chest. “No, but I’m too pissed to think up anything else right now.”
“Good, you’re being honest.” The smile that curved her lips only pissed him off more.
“Damn it Rosie, I never lied to you.”
“I meant about your feelings. I don’t like the idea of putting myself out there and having you keep what you’re thinking to yourself.”
“Okay. Tell me what you’ve been thinking.”
“Well I want to keep my stake in the business and actually I’d like to take on a larger role.”
He nodded knowing she could handle it, but he was still hesitant about spending so much time with her if they weren’t a couple. “We work well together.”
“I also want to solidify my personal life and make sure it doesn’t affect the company or my role with Crestmont Hotels.”
“Solidify?” He didn’t see how he could help her with that.
“I want a husband and kids. Living with you has shown me I can have it all.”
“You made all these decisions pretty quick.”
“Not at all. I’ve been thinking about since the first night we had sex and I didn’t feel like running.”
Not run, what the hell? “Excuse me?”
“I’ve always thought I couldn’t have a man, and be the woman I wanted to be.”
“That’s bullshit.” He knew Rosie could be whatever she wanted.
“No it’s not. I’ve seen my friends meet men and all but drop off the grid except when they showed up in their arms at some event. You’ve shown me that it doesn’t have to be that way.”
“So now you’re convinced you can have it all?” He could only be glad that she gained that new level of confidence.
“I was almost there,” She nodded. “And now with the pups I’m even more sure. I mean I know they’re not the same as kids would be, but I think I’d be a good mom. And I’m not going to sit back and wait for it to happen.”
“What’s that mean?” He asked even though he was almost sure he didn’t want to know.
“I want a family. Sooner rather than later. The first step is—”
“Finding a husband.” He finished for her. “Do you have anyone in mind?”
“Not all men are like you. It might take me a little while to find someone.” That was a backhanded compliment if he ever heard one.
“Have you thought about where you’ll live? Your apartment isn’t really family friendly.” She shrugged her shoulders and he knew the right thing to do. “Here. You should have this place. Teddy always said it was perfect for a big family.”
“What about you?” She asked and Dade had to look away from the concern he saw in her eyes.
“I can find someplace else.”
“Dade,” She laid her hand on his chest and his heart thumped under her touch.
“That’s so sweet of you, but I’m sure Teddy wanted you to have this place.”
“No. He wanted us to have it. If there’s no us then it should go to you.” He fought back the urge to ask if they could be an us again, and turned and headed out of the room before he snapped. “I’ve got a few calls to make.”
So she wanted a man like him, but not him specifically. Or could he still be in the running? Damn it, he needed to make her see he was right in front of her just waiting. The man he’d go to for advice wasn’t there and Dade seriously needed someone to talk to. At this point the person didn’t even have to talk back just listen. Since this arrangement was hush-hush neither of them was supposed to tell anyone other than Rosie’s friends, so that left him with only one option.
Dade pulled his cell from his pocket and sent Rosie a quick message asking her to watch the pups while he ran out for a little while. He stood in the yard and waited until he got her okay then he fled.
Thirty minutes later Dade found himself driving through the familiar gate of Rolling Oaks cemetery. The sense of loss he always felt when he came here was intensely magnified. Everyone important in his life other than Rosie and a few friends were buried there. His mother, father, their unborn child, his grandparents, and the most recent occupant, Teddy. Even Teddy’s two wives, whom Dade had only known briefly, were there too. They rested on either side of him.
This was why he understood Rosie’s need to fulfill the goals she had. You never knew when it could all be taken away in the blink of an eye. There had been a time when he had wanted to do as much as fast as he possibly could, but it was Teddy who’d point out that if he rushed he’d miss the important little things that made life worth living.
He looked down and the rust colored marble headstone with the big engraved heart on it. “You old goat. She loves you. The question is could she love me?”
“They never answer.”
Dade looked down at the young boy who had seemed to appear out of nowhere. He was about three feet tall, which Dade figured put him between six and eight years. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Dade assumed from the lack of dirt anywhere on him the kid wasn’t there to play.
He glanced around and didn’t see any other cars in sight. “I know, but you can still talk to them. Are you here with someone?”
The kid pulled the lollipop from his mouth and point down the row where a lady was fussing with some flowers. “Does it make you feel better? Talking to them?”
“Yeah.” Especially when I’m pissed at him he thought, but Dade didn’t say it because he didn’t want the kid to think that was the only reason he came. “I like to think that even though he can’t talk to me that he can still hear me. Kind of like when you say your prayers.”
“Oh.” The kid seemed to ponder that for a minute then pulled a lollipop from his pocket and held it out to Dade. “Want one?”
“Sure.” Dade took the pop glancing back to the woman. She didn’t seem concerned the kid had wandered off.
“Do you come here a lot?” the kid asked.
“Sometimes. More when I’m missing him.”
“Then you come here to talk to him?”
“To all the people I love.” Dade confessed.
“You sounded mad.” The kid sounded surprised by that.
Dade didn’t have much experience with kids, so it took him a minute to decide what to say. “It’s okay to get angry sometimes. Just like it’s all right to get sad when I miss him, or happy when I remember a good time we had together. You still love them the same even t
hough they’re gone. That never goes away.”
“Never?”
“Nope. When someone touches your heart, even a little piece of it, you can hold onto them forever.”
“Really?” The hope in the boy’s eyes and tone touched Dade.
He got down on one knee bringing him down to the kid’s eye level. “Really. Whenever you think of someone who is gone away it helps to keep them in your heart.”
“What if you can’t remember them?” It occurred to him that the kid was so young that he might not have the memories to call on.
“Then when you come here you can tell them about you. Things like your favorite toys, pets, or friends. They’re probably missing you too and it would make you both feel better.” Dade hoped that made the kid feel a little bit better.
“Robert!” the lady called out in a wavery tone.
The boy groaned and Dade asked, “Is that your mom?”
“No, it’s my aunt.” The kid waved at her. “I liked it when my granddad called me Bobby.”
“Is that who you were visiting?”
“Yeah.” The boy nodded.
“Well, maybe if you tell your aunt that you like Bobby better, because your granddad called you that she might call you it too.”
“Good idea.” The kid took off at a run.
Dade watched him go unable to take his eyes off the scene that played out in front of him. Bobby grabbed his aunt’s hand and pulled her down to him. He said something, and then pointed over at Dade. The lady looked at him for a second before giving Bobby her attention again. Dade wished he could hear what he was saying to her. The lady pulled him into a hug and kissed his head. Bobby gave him a thumbs up as they walked away.
“Did you get all that?” He asked Teddy not expecting any kind of response. “Your niece has gotten me so twisted up I’m giving strange kids life advice. What the hell is wrong with me? Listen I’m going to find a way to make this work, as much for her as you, but if you could find a way to help me out it wouldn’t hurt.”