“Good morning. I’m Clay Cutler and I have a list of items I need to fix the mercantile. Mrs. Messer said you had some window glass and lumber already ordered for her.”
“Yes, I’ll need to show you which glass panes they are and where the lumber is. I’m sorry I can’t carry them for you or have them delivered. You’ll have to arrange for that yourself. Oh, I’m Miss Woodson.”
“Pleased to meet you, Miss Woodson. I’m sorry for your loss.” Clay held out a hand for her to shake as she came around the counter.
It didn’t take long for Clay to pile the lumber he needed into a stack. He leaned the panes against it, then went back to the hotel to get Ryder and Nate. They’d help load a push cart to transport it all to the mercantile. It was time both boys learned a thing or two about carpentry. He also needed some hands to hold boards in place and help measure. Besides, it would keep them out of trouble and Millie’s hair.
The morning went better than Millie had hoped. Fern, Opal, Grace, and Ida stayed upstairs to play and mind Abe. Clay enlisted the boys to help him. Ryder and Nate, his older two, with the repairs to the building. Reuben and Ben were set to sorting the pile of goods damaged by the earthquake but not totally useless. All Millie had done at the time was dispose of those that obviously couldn’t be sold and put the rest in a corner of the back room. Damaged stock could be sold at a discount or given to people in need.
With Clay at the mercantile it was possible for her to do some laundry and other chores that had to be done upstairs. While she was in the apartment it occurred to Millie that the space allotted wouldn’t fit six more people. Besides the living area, kitchen, and bedrooms there was space used for storage of inventory for the mercantile. Some of it would have to be converted into bedrooms.
That thought stopped Millie cold. Was she truly assuming she was still going to marry Clay Cutler? She wiped her hand down her face. She’d wanted, needed, a husband to help her with the mercantile. Her children needed a father. If she didn’t marry Clay she’d have to start the process all over. Clay’s letter stood out from all the others she’d received. The rest seemed to be bragging about their capabilities or asked how prosperous the mercantile was. Clay was the only man who expressed sympathy for her loss.
Taking time to have a cup of coffee, Millie sat at the kitchen table. She could hear the children in the parlor. The girls were getting along. The giggles made her smile. Fern and Opal hadn’t laughed much since their father died. Abe was beginning to return to his normal happiness. He’d asked for Papa for several weeks but had stopped.
The toddler came in and patted her arm. “Hungee, Mama.”
Millie leaned over, kissing him on the head. “How about some bread and butter? I’ll make some for you and the girls.”
“Gace, Ida too?”
She smiled. “Yes, Grace and Ida too. Go tell them.”
Abe ran off to deliver his message. Millie buttered several slices of bread, setting them on napkins on the table.
As she watched the children eat their snack, Millie decided that if Clay was able to explain his reasons for not letting her know about his family, she’d marry him. But she’d make him stew a bit before she let him know her decision.
Clay walked beside Millie toward the river. She had fixed a simple noon meal for them all. They’d closed the store for the day. He’d set Ryder and Nate to washing the dishes. The youngest four children were napping with Fern minding them. Ben and Reuben were still sorting the pile of mixed stock in the back room. Now was the time for the adults to have their private discussion.
Clay ran a finger around his collar. It seemed to be getting tighter with each step. He knew why he’d come and why he hadn’t told her about the children. Would she believe him or tell him to leave Silverpines? Glancing up at the sky, Clay said a silent prayer asking for the right words to convince her it was God’s plan that they marry.
The day was warm and sunny. A light breeze kept the insects from pestering them. The river glistened as the water flowed past the town. A blue heron stood in the shallows waiting amongst the reeds for a small fish or frog. There were broken logs along the opposite shore as well as on the shore of an island just upstream from town, a reminder of the calamity that had happened nearly two months ago. A bench was on a small dock with a rowboat tied to it. Clay wiped it off with his handkerchief before Millie sat down. He sat beside her.
“This is a beautiful spot,” Clay said.
“Yes, other than the logs. I hope they drift away or are pulled from the river. It’s not a pleasant reminder.”
“No, I suppose not.”
They were silent for several minutes. Clay wondered how to bring up the topic they needed to discuss. He was at fault for the issue at hand. It was up to him to begin the conversation.
“Mrs. Messer, I regret not informing you of the extent of my family. I know it was a shock to find out I had five children. It will take me a bit to explain. Please know that I didn’t want to deceive you. I know it was God’s plan that we come to Silverpines and blend our families.
“I prayed and trusted that His directions leading me here were clear. I didn’t trust that He would direct your way to accept me and my children if I told you about them. I was wrong.
“I live by Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, And he will direct your paths. My lack of faith and trust has caused you stress and worry. Please, accept my apology.”
Millie looked at him, searching his eyes for a long time. Finally, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I accept your apology. I forgive you. I’m still somewhat in shock that if we marry I will become the mother of nine children. Nine. On top of the burden I’m loaded with now, it seems overwhelming.”
“I understand. I saw it in your eyes when we walked across the station platform. You hid it well from the children, but I was well aware of it. Maybe because I knew of the shock I was delivering to you.”
Millie looked out over the river. Her profile reflected the beauty of her face. Clay knew her eyes were a deep chestnut brown, warm and alluring. They were shaded by her straw hat, pinned into the swirls of her hairdo. He couldn’t decide if the locks were dark brown or black. He tightened his hands into fists to keep them from reaching into the waves to see how soft they were.
“Mrs. Messer, I promise to do all I can to take on as many of your responsibilities as possible. I know merchandising. Ryder is good help and has learned quite a lot for his age. I plan to train all the boys, mine and yours, too. Reuben seems to be a good worker.”
Millie looked at him with a soft, sad smile. “He and Fern have learned a lot in the past couple of months.”
“My boys have too, since January.” There really wasn’t anything to add. Both knew the reasons.
Her continued silence as they sat watching the river worried him. Millie hadn’t said whether she was still willing to marry him. She stared across the river at the far shore.
Clay didn’t know what he’d do if they didn’t marry. He’d sold his portion of Cutler’s General Store in Stones Creek, Colorado to his siblings. Uprooted his children as they grieved for their mother, moving them from everything and everyone familiar. Because he hadn’t trusted the Calling of the Lord he’d made a crucial mistake in not telling Millie Messer of his offspring.
Waiting, Clay rubbed his hands on his trousers. His palms were damp. Nervous sweat beaded on his forehead, causing him to wipe his brow with his handkerchief.
There was nothing more he could say. It was all up to her. She would decide if his lack of truthfulness ended their relationship before it started.
Long moments later, Millie turned to face him. The look on her face wasn’t encouraging. Clay’s heart clenched.
“Mr. Cutler, I will say I was distressed at the thought of taking on five more children. I have barely been able to manage the mercantile and my family. Fern and Reuben have been a great help but still, I’ve be
en overwhelmed with everything.
“I, too, try to live by Proverbs three: five and six. It’s been so very difficult the last two months. I truly appreciate your confession and acceptance of your error. Many people will not do so. That you did shows your character.”
Millie paused and looked out over the river again. She turned back to look at him.
“One thing about our Lord, when we step off the path He wants us to tread, He allows us to. We are always free to choose His way or our own. The most wonderful thing is that when we want to step back into the path of His will, God is always there, welcoming us to continue our journey with Him.
“I believe that God has a plan for you, me, and our children. I believe that plan is for us to travel with Him together. If we trust in and acknowledge Him, He will direct our path.
“Mr. Cutler, I will honor our plan to marry which we set out in our letters.”
Clay let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Thank you, Mrs. Messer. I believe as you do. That God planned for us to be together.” He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. “We need to begin making plans. When do you want to have the ceremony?”
CHAPTER FOUR
CLAY AND MILLIE went back to the mercantile. They’d decided to marry on Monday. That would give them several days to make adjustments to the upper story of the building. Tomorrow they would see Pastor James to arrange for the ceremony. At the moment they needed to let the children know and Clay needed to see the apartment as well as the storage space to plan for the additional rooms.
When they entered the mercantile Ryder and Nate had a bucket of soapy water and were wiping down the shelves. Millie’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. Clay looked at her and chuckled.
“I see you are surprised. This was a chore they had to do each week at the general store back in Stones Creek. Their cousins all had chores too. It starts when they reach age ten. By the time they are grown they’ll know all about running a general store. It’s how we all learned.” He stepped further into the room. “Good job, boys. I’m proud you took it upon yourselves to do this. I appreciate your forethought and initiative. I’m sure Mrs. Messer does too.”
“I most certainly do. Cleaning the store has fallen off the list of tasks that needed to be done the past couple of months.” She smiled broadly at them. “Right now, please finish with those you are working on and replace the stock please. Then come upstairs.” She held up a parcel. “I’ve got cookies.”
Clay turned the sign to closed and locked the door. They entered the back room and found Reuben and Ben building with alphabet blocks that had been in the pile of unsorted goods. A quick survey showed progress had been made in the sorting so nothing was mentioned of the detour from their appointed task.
“Clean up your blocks, boys. Come up when you’re done,” Clay instructed.
“I’ve got cookies,” Millie coaxed with a smile. Two eight-year-olds hurried to shove the blocks into a corner.
Millie left Clay in the parlor with Fern, Opal, Grace and Ida, going into her bedroom to remove her hat. As she came down the hall a sound like a herd of stampeding horses came up the stairs. Peeking into the boys’ bedroom she saw that Abe was still sound asleep. She went into the kitchen, getting a pitcher of milk from the ice box and a stack of napkins. “Fern,” she called. “Will you please help me get glasses?”
Fern’s as well as other girls’ voices said they’d help. Soon everyone but Abe was sitting around the table in the dining room. Fortunately, they had put all the leaves in the day before. The chairs were mismatched as there weren’t ten matching chairs in the apartment. Cookies and milk were being consumed at a fast pace, crumbs scattering across the table and floor.
Clay sat at one end with Millie next to him. “Children, you know,” he began, “that we Cutlers came to Silverpines for me to marry Mrs. Messer. At least that was the hope.”
Millie watched the children. Doubt, fear, hope, and uncertainty stood out on all the faces. She was glad they were not going to disappoint those she loved or the Cutlers.
“You’ll be pleased to know that we have discussed the matter and on Monday we are marrying. Until then, we, my children and me, will be staying at the inn. Then we’ll move in here and become one family.”
There were expressions of delight and one comment.
“One big family,” Ben Cutler said.
Millie heard Abe calling from his crib. She went to get him. When they returned she saw a quizzical look on Opal’s face. She set Abe in his highchair and gave him a cookie. “What is it, sweetie?”
Opal turned her puzzled face to her. “Mama, where’s everyone going to sleep? We don’t have enough beds. Fern and me already sleep in the bed in our room.”
“Fern and I. That hasn’t been figured out yet. Mr. Cutler and I will be discussing that.”
“Don’t worry, no one will have to sleep on the floor. Well, maybe some at first until we get the beds we need,” Clay said.
Grace, sitting next to her father tapped his arm.
“Yes, Grace?”
“Pa, what are we going to call Mrs. Messer and what are the others going to call you?”
Millie and Clay looked at each other. That was something they hadn’t considered. Some blended families called the step-parent by their surname. Millie didn’t want to be called Mrs. Cutler by her new children but wasn’t sure what else was appropriate or what the alternative might be.
Nate, Clay’s eleven-year-old raised a tentative hand.
“Yes, son,” Clay said.
“Um, I’ve noticed something. Maybe it would help.”
All eyes turned to him. His face blushed bright red. He swallowed. “We,” he indicated his siblings, “Call you Pa and called Ma, Ma. They,” he pointed to the Messer children. “Call their mother ‘Mama.’ I figure they called their pa Papa. My Ma will always be my Ma. I’d call Mrs. Messer ‘Mama.’ I’m thinking they could call you Pa.”
Millie could tell all the children but Abe were thinking. She looked at Clay. He seemed to communicate silently that whatever the children decided would be okay with him. She gave a slight nod.
Fern was the first to speak up. “I’m fine with Pa. I can remember my Papa but have a pa.”
There was general agreement to Nate’s plan. Ryder frowned a bit. Millie wondered if he didn’t like the idea or was peeved that he hadn’t thought of it himself.
“When can we start calling you Pa?” Opal asked. Her eyes were twinkling with delight. Millie was relieved that her younger daughter was accepting of all the changes that were occurring. She’d taken the death of her father hard. She hadn’t been enthusiastic about Millie writing to find a new husband and father. It seemed that having Grace and Ida to play with tipped the scales in favor of the marriage.
“Although it won’t be official until Monday, I don’t suppose it will hurt to start now. If it’s alright with Mrs. Messer,” Clay said.
“It’s Mama, not Mrs. Messer,” Grace said, smiling broadly.
Millie was pleased that everyone seemed to be enthusiastic about the marriage and the influx of siblings. She prayed the camaraderie would continue but knew it wouldn’t. There would be adjustments, fights, tears, and hurtful words. Such was the way of children.
Since the day was sunny, they sent the children out to play in the park across the street from the mercantile. Neither Clay or Millie wanted input from any of them while they discussed the needs of the apartment.
Clay let Millie show him around. Then he paced each room as well as the storage area. That was a mess. Obviously nothing had been done in there since the earthquake. Crates were scattered and broken, their contents spilled. He asked for some paper and a pencil and, at the dining room table, drew a rough sketch. Tapping the pencil on the table, he considered how to adjust the space and put in the improvements he wanted to make.
Millie was in the kitchen preparing supper. She came in with a glass of ice tea. “I thought you mig
ht like a drink.”
“Thank you.” Clay smiled up at her. She was lovely. Kind and forgiving. A surge of desire surprised him. They hadn’t spoken of the physical side of the marriage. It was something they would have to address. Before the wedding. He wanted to know what her expectations were. He figured she would want to wait to totally fulfill the vows. He did too. It was too soon after Lucy died. Or at least he thought it was. His body was saying something different.
“How’re the plans for the apartment coming? Is it going to be difficult to add a bedroom?” She sat next to him, studying the drawings he’d made.
“Not really. We can use the existing door from the apartment to the storage room and add two bedrooms there. One for the older boys and one for Fern. The girls’ bedroom now simply isn’t large enough for four girls. It would take another double bed or two single ones. We’ll also build a room for the boys here.” Clay pointed out where the new bedrooms would go.
“What about Abe? He can’t be in with the older boys. They’d keep him awake.”
“I know. This is what’s going to be more complicated since I want to add a room with a bathtub, lavatory, and laundry sinks.”
“What?”
“We can’t have eleven people trying to bathe in the kitchen. You and the girls need more privacy than that. Besides, trying to get everyone bathed as well as meals fixed just won’t work. I like to eat too much to have my food be that late.”
Millie chuckled. “So, how are you going to fit that in?”
“Here. We can move the linen closet across from the new bedrooms. Maybe even make it larger. Then cut the existing boys room in half for Abe. He’ll move in with the other boys when he gets older. The bathroom fits then.” Clay decided to broach the other issue on his mind, or in his body. “That will leave the small bedroom for a nursery in the event of another child later.”
Millie looked at him in horror. “Another child? We already have nine.”
Wanted: Shopkeeper (Silverpines Book 4) Page 3