by J Dawn King
The living area had a relaxed feel, and he rejoiced in her taking the initiative to become the true Mrs. of the house. A home. That’s what it was. His house was now their home.
His breath caught as he found he suddenly wanted her back alongside him. He wanted her slim fingers to entangle with his own. He wanted her to tease him and laugh with him… and feed him another peach. He wanted her to tell him all she had accomplished for his household during the day and what she was reading at night. He wanted to gaze into her eyes and have her full focus on him. He wanted to hold her and caress her until she placed her head against his chest and sighed with the comfort of being in his arms. He wanted all of this and more. He wanted her to feel for him what he was feeling for her. He, Fitzwilliam Alexander Darcy, was falling in love with his wife.
“Georgiana, might I come in?” Elizabeth had tapped lightly on the door frame. She heard no sounds of activity from within the bedroom, and she wondered if her newest sister might have fled to an unknown location instead of the safety of her old bed chamber.
“Come in.” Her voice was so soft, Elizabeth barely heard.
Elizabeth opened the door to a pitiful sight. Georgiana had pulled her chair to the window. She was leaning against the glass, her hand pressed to the pane as if seeking help from outside.
Moving into the room to sit on the bed, Elizabeth quietly inquired, “Are you mad, sad, or hurt?”
Georgiana slowly turned towards her, though her eyes appeared to flit to and from every object in the room except for Elizabeth.
“Why do you ask?”
There were no tears, and Elizabeth thought she had never observed a person so alone.
“I have four sisters, three of them younger, two of them close to your age, and only one of us close to perfection, my eldest sister, Jane Bingley. If you were to ask any of them, including Jane, they would tell you that I am the nosiest, the busiest, and the bossiest of all five Bennet girls. I’ve learned there are only those three emotions which will cause a young lady of sense and good health to become despondent, so I will ask again. Are you mad, sad, or hurt?”
“All of them.” The words were blurted out as if they were vomit she had been unable to hold in. Georgiana immediately slapped her hand over her mouth, trying to keep from saying more.
“I imagined this to be so.” Elizabeth carefully rested her hands on the top of her legs with her palms up and her fingers extended. Modulating her breathing and smiling slightly, she sought to consider how she might have felt at sixteen to be in Georgiana’s tightly-laced boots. “If I’d had a brother who was severely injured, my heart would have broken into a million tiny pieces when he told me not to come to him. Even though almost two weeks have passed, my heart would still ache.” Georgiana’s eyes never wavered from focusing on the floor. “I’d be livid at the thought that it might have been his new wife who had encouraged me to stay away, a woman so unknown to you that you’d not even known of her existence prior to the horrible note telling of the accident. I would be despondent at wondering if I would ever have a place at Pemberley, the place I had just as much right to as this new person who had planted herself in my home.”
Without reply, Georgiana turned her head back to the window, a sigh weighing down her shoulders.
“Do you love my brother?”
“No.”
Another sigh.
“So you married him for Pemberley.” Rather than an accusation, it was a cold statement of fact—one that was highly offensive to Elizabeth. With each passing second, she realized how alike the siblings were—neither having boundaries for polite conversation.
“No. I knew nothing of this property or this home before we wed.” Taking a slow breath, she considered how much to reveal to this young girl. “There were many reasons I agreed to marry Will, and I’m fairly certain you will learn them all before too long. What I will tell you is that the process of learning about each other after such a terrifying accident has been slow and, to be honest, just as painful as his injury. At times, your brother can be quite challenging to be around. Other times, there is a pleasantness about his mouth when he smiles, and I’m drawn to know him better. But for the most part, he’s an irritable, old man.”
Georgiana looked at her, her face devoid of expression.
“Oh, it’s not like I lie awake at night dreaming of ways I can inflict torture on him for being so bad-tempered…well, actually,” Elizabeth smiled, her eyes finally moving away from her sister to the ceiling, “the truth is that I’ve done just that more than once since I said, ‘I do.’”
Elizabeth witnessed a slight movement in Georgiana’s shoulders.
“Does it surprise you to hear of the imperfections of your brother?”
“But he has no flaws!”
Georgiana’s quick reply shocked Elizabeth to the core.
“You truly believe that to be true?”
“Absolutely. Will has been a perfect brother who has never complained about the difficulties in having me as his sister. There is not a better man in Oregon than he.”
Surprised at the firmness of her response, Elizabeth noted the erectness of Georgiana’s spine, the lift of her chin, and the squared shoulders. She was nonplussed that this young woman apparently believed her opinion was the truth.
“If you think you are a difficult sister, which I cannot begin to imagine to be so, you should meet my youngest sibling, Lydia. Never have I known another who was born knowing more than everyone else, including her parents. She is brash, bold, and so much fun to be around when she’s not complaining of not having enough attention.”
“Oh.” For the first time, Georgiana looked directly at Elizabeth, only to glance quickly away.
“Please, do not get me wrong. Should you ever need someone to take your side when you feel you have been wronged, you would want Lydia there. She is fiercely protective should someone speak or act against someone she loves.” Elizabeth scooted to the edge of the bed. “Would you want someone like her in your home?”
“I do not know.” Georgiana pressed her head back to the glass, her voice a whisper. “She would…well, I would think she is…actually, I’m sure you would prefer her to me.”
Twice her new sister had indicated she was either unworthy or unwanted in the less than five minutes Elizabeth had spent in her company. Her look of dejection made Elizabeth examine her even closer. Did she truly feel undeserving of being at Pemberley? In spite of all the challenges Mary, Kitty, and Lydia brought to the Bennet household, each was confident of their place in the family.
“Are you happy to be back home, Georgiana?” she hesitated to ask, but needed to know.
“I suppose so.”
Elizabeth wanted to shake her, to stir her to express herself or get involved. Or course, she had also wanted to do the same to the girl’s brother a time or two—or three or four.
“Please accept that I am overjoyed to have you live here.”
“Oh, I believe you are incorrect.” Finally, Georgiana looked at her directly. “I doubt I will stay any longer than it takes for Will to heal from his injury. He will then want me to return to Portland to my aunt.”
“No, you are wrong. Unless it is you who wants to live with the Fitzwilliams, you will remain here as long as you want. This is your home.”
Georgiana merely shook her head slowly and turned back to the window. Not knowing what else to do, Elizabeth stood and walked from the room.
For the rest of the day, Darcy had taken to showing up everywhere Elizabeth happened to be in the house. He’d even started coming out to the porch to sit alongside her as she watched over the traffic on the river.
Georgiana had not joined them for their meal and had chosen not to extend the courtesy of a goodbye to Richard when he left. Her presence seemed to put a sopping wet blanket atop the minute flames of family life at Pemberley. Like the initial and present difficulties with her brother, Elizabeth refused to allow reticence or rudeness, no matter the cause, to rob her of finding
joy with the beauty surrounding her.
She turned her eyes towards the trees to see a large bird soaring above. Was it an eagle? She had yet to ask anyone if moose were to be found in this portion of Oregon. She had so much to learn about this new place where she would spend the rest of her life.
“Why is she staying in her room? Didn’t you have a talk with her?” John and Maggie had left for their cabin and Will was again sitting by her on the veranda. His tone was abrasive and insulting.
So rapidly it surprised her, cold fury rose in her chest until she thought it would explode. How dare he assume it was her responsibility or fault that Georgiana had stayed in her room. As if she had the power and skill to easily influence someone who was a new acquaintance! She was not going to fight! Breathing deeply, she said nothing.
“I’m sorry.” He was quick to apologize. “That didn’t come out like I’d wanted.”
“Then what was it you intended to say, and how did you intend it to sound, Will?” She watched as he ran his hands through his hair.
“I am worried about my sister.” He moved his chair closer and flinched from his muscles being overused for the first time in more than a week. “Richard told me she only comes out of her room when Aunt Helen demands it. I don’t understand her. She used to love being here. She would run down the stairs and jump when she got to the third step from the bottom so I’d catch her. I’d swing her around, and she would laugh until I’d laugh with her. We had some of the best times of my childhood together before Father sent her away.”
Elizabeth didn’t know what to say. “Were you expecting me to spend a few minutes in her company so she would return to that joyful little girl? If you were, you are doomed to disappointment.”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s plain.” She chuckled softly. “You will have to give us time, Will. I don’t know her, and she doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know you either. How many years has she actually lived with the Fitzwilliams?”
“Since before I left for school. I guess she would have been about six.”
“Did you see her often?”
“Not really, though I wanted to. We became so busy trying to increase the ranch, and then I went to university where I wrote her daily.”
“I remember your telling me you did so, and I’m glad of it.” Elizabeth reflected on her first impression of Georgiana Darcy. Fragile as thin glass. “Can you imagine her sense of abandonment by you and your father?”
“Good Lord! I have done so much wrong.” She saw the movement in his throat as he swallowed hard. “Is she okay? Will she be okay?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know at all. Apparently there is much we don’t understand.” Looking directly at him, she waited until she had his attention. “You were not solely to blame, Will. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it your father who removed her to Portland? Wasn’t it he who insisted you attend school in the East and then in England? Could you have supported her and cared for her during those years you were gone?”
He huffed. “No, you are right. I could have done nothing then.” Again, he looked away. “But I have no excuse for the past five years. The first thing I should have done after father died was to get Georgie back here. I failed.”
“We all fail, Will. We all stumble, do we not?”
He nodded, though he did not look at her.
“Can we catch the river to regain the water that has already flowed by us? No. Can we turn back the clock to be able to make different choices and enjoy different results? Not at all. We can only make better choices in the future.”
“Yes. There are many reasons I do not want to go back and relive that time. Becoming manager of this property and the business investments my grandfather and father were involved in was a heavy weight for me. And who’s to say that I would have done better for my sister than my aunt did? Who knows?”
He paused, as if to gather his thoughts. “Are we okay?” He hesitated over the question.
Now it was she who would not meet his gaze. “I don’t know.” Elizabeth started her chair rocking, finding the steady rhythm comforting. “With my family, I always knew clearly where I stood, who was upset and the reasons for it, and why things were done as they were. I knew how each individual would react under a variety of circumstances because I knew them intimately.”
She looked away from him. “I can’t read your mind, Will, so when you react in a way very unexpected or you speak in a manner that’s exceedingly blunt, it catches me by surprise and I respond with anger and frustration.” She blew the air from her cheeks. “Apparently your sister has the same difficulty with speaking up as you do. It must be an inherited Darcy trait.”
“I’m sorry.”
“And I am pleased that you are.” Elizabeth rocked a little faster. “I imagine you have said those two words more in the past twenty-four hours than you have in the past twenty-seven years, and I appreciate your effort. Nonetheless, saying the words is much easier than doing something about them.”
She could see Darcy’s struggle as he tamped down his ire. He had been on his own long enough that he hadn’t had to take someone else’s opinion or needs into consideration.
“I’ve never been married before, and I’ve not been around many married folks other than Maggie and John. I’m trying, Elizabeth.”
She heard the petition in his tone and thought to meet him halfway.
“I’m trying as well, and I fail many times,” she easily admitted. “My propensity to jump to the wrong conclusion is legendary; not an accomplishment I’m proud of.” Elizabeth stilled her chair and reached over to rest her hand on his arm. “What we both are is determined, I believe. We both have strong opinions and both believe we are in the right when those opinions clash against each other. But know this, Husband, I am fiercely determined to not be the only one in this marriage to make sacrifices and adjustments.”
“I was there too, Elizabeth. I said my vows just as you did.” His eyes strayed to a distant location apparently only he could see. “We promised to become husband and wife, binding ourselves together for the rest of our lives. I am no longer unwed, free to go my own way without consideration to you. I am bound to you are you are to me. We are united both by law and by God. My injury has tipped the balance where my burdens have fallen to you. As a man…having you bear the weight of such tasks is unpalatable. As your husband, it is my responsibility to care for you physically and in every other way. I mean to do so as soon as I am able.”
“I am glad to hear this.”
“You told me I lacked integrity and honor when I spoke your sister’s name while I was having laudanum-laced dreams.”
“I did.”
“I will tell you now that those words were some of the most painful I’ve ever heard uttered in my presence. Having you call into question the most fundamental aspects of my being was an affront I’ve had to set aside with much effort. With that said…,” he raised his hand when she started to speak. “With that said, Elizabeth, you were correct and, though it was equally as painful—if not more so—than my leg to hear it, your words and actions helped me understand how pleased I am that you are my wife.”
She tilted her head and looked at him carefully.
“You told me what you expected from a marriage, from your husband. And I heard each and every word. As I lay in my bed day after day, I pondered what my expectations were in offering you my hand and my name.” He no longer looked away from her. “I want a partner, for better and for worse. I want a woman who isn’t afraid to meet in the middle nor afraid to go against me privately when I’ve not been clear or I’ve been impulsive with my words. I want your visions of building a heritage, a home filled with future generations of Darcys to settle and grow on this land.”
She inhaled quickly. “You heard Jane and me talking.” Elizabeth chortled.
“I will not keep anything from you, Elizabeth, ever again. We have a task ahead of us to see to the future happiness of my sist
er and to start working on our own.”
His words were exactly what her soul lacked—that dark void in her marriage which needed filled. She was grateful he’d been unexpectedly open with her. Returning to a slow-moving pace of rocking, she felt a small smile grace her face. It was about time!
The day had been long, filled with both intense joys and disappointments. By the time Will was settled for the night in his new room, Elizabeth decided to take advantage of the cooler temperatures so she walked to the orchard for a fresh peach. They would finally start cutting and slicing the peaches for pies and filling the canning jars on the morrow. She was pleased with the harvest and wished her sisters were here to enjoy the long summer days in the outdoors. She wondered if Georgiana had ever helped in the kitchen. Her sisters had all avoided the duty like the plague.
She needed time alone with her thoughts to process her reactions to each of the Darcys. It had been almost too much to take in.
She wasn’t alone for long.
“Elizabeth,” a man whispered into the twilight, his voice slightly familiar.
“Who’s there?” She shifted her weight to her toes, poised to leave.
“George Wickham.”
Wickham! “You shouldn’t be here. My husband will be upset.” Elizabeth’s curiosity was piqued. She had no doubt that Richard Fitzwilliam had let the man know he was unwelcome on Darcy’s property.
“I’m not here to see Darcy.” Wickham stepped out from the shadows of the trees until he stood before her. “I only need a few minutes with Georgiana, that’s all. Once I see her, I will leave for good. You have my word.”
Elizabeth was torn. Unrequited love would explain the young girl’s forlorn attitude and the overly protective attitude of both Richard and her husband. How harmless could it be? Or, how harmful? Pondering her actions, she decided what to do. Her husband had shown a willingness and determination to change his attitude. If she could help him see the need to soften his bitter resentment of the man in front of her, she would do all she could to help.