“I can’t believe he knew I would be here, how would he know that?” I frowned.
“I don’t know.” Lana’s brow creased too. “That’s a good point, how would he know you would be here.” Suddenly Lana raised a hand to her mouth, her eyes widening.
“What?” I asked leaning forwards.
“That little bitch!” She muttered. “It makes sense now. That’s why she was so adamant I took you as a client, she thought she could keep you in her pocket.” Lana had got to her feet and was pacing back and forth in front of the fire.
“Who? Lana you have lost me!” I stood up to grabbing her arm.
“Miranda!” Lana hissed. “There’s so much you don’t know Rebecca I don’t even know where or how to start.” She slumped back into the chair.
“From the beginning maybe.” I tried to force a smile.
“Not here. I don’t want anyone turning up.” She reached for her coat. “Come on I’ll drive you home.”
The car was as I expected it would be, sporty and black and ultramodern. I ran a hand over the stitching of the leather seat and continued watching the road.
“Where are we going?” I asked, the cluster of houses had thinned out into larger individual properties.
“We are here, it’s a pub I used to go to, it’s quieter and serves good food too.” Lana swung the car into a narrow gravelled drive and edged around an ornate flower arrangement to turn into a small car park that stood in front of a quaint black and white building.
“My head is spinning.” I told her.
“That is exactly why we are going to order a huge amount of food, but unfortunately they don’t sell snowmen!” Lana smiled. “Come on.”
“Wow, I had no idea how much I needed that.” I placed my fork back down against the empty plate and leaned back into the chair.
“I know right.” Lana agreed pushing her own plate further onto the table.
“Everything ok for you ladies?” The bartender reached over and stacked the empty plates across his forearm.
“Beautiful thank you.” Lana purred, he seemed to giggle inwardly. “Hey are the seats by the fireplace empty?” She touched his arm and he nodded eagerly. “Thanks.” The poor man looked dejected as she rose to her feet and held a hand out to me. I took it hurriedly and followed behind as we wound through the tables into a smaller empty room away from the bar.
“Here we go, my favourite spot.” She signalled towards the fireplace where two high backed chairs were arranged either end of a low wooden table.
“So, what is going on?” I asked unable to hold my questions any longer.
“Well, you said you’d googled Ben, did you see anything about his father or family?” Lana began.
“Yeah his dad owns a load of businesses and houses, they have a lot of money. He seemed to be from one of those families that people just know who they are instantly.” I said.
“The friends Miranda keeps, all of them have contacts in the police force, judges lawyer’s everywhere. She likes to think she mixes with important people but they usually just aren’t very nice people, if this family is anything like that and the son had been found guilty, then it would have meant he would be named. A family like that can’t have the name associated with anything untoward, if the police started digging they would find enough stuff to put the whole lot of them behind bars for a long time and if people came forward too…” She let the sentence dangle in the air.
“What you mean I’m not the only one?” I stuttered.
“I doubt it very much.” She shook her head.
“What has Miranda got to do with it?” I asked.
“She was the one who was adamant that you come to me for your sessions, you could have been referred within the hospital or to any number of people but she hounded me to take you. Then she has been overly interested in what you’re saying, whether you are happy to let it go or trying to get your own revenge. Then Ben shows up. It’s obvious, his family must be paying her to keep tabs on you.” Lana finished.
“I’m so confused.” I rubbed my head.
“It’s a strange world we live in and most of us have no idea what is actually going on under the surface. I know it sounds crazy but it’s the only explanation to how he knew where you were and why she is so interested in you.” Lana reached over and held her hand towards me. “I wouldn’t tell her anything you know that right?” I took her hand.
“I know.” I told her.
“They are dangerous people Rebecca.” She grimaced.
“You sound like you know quite a bit about it all.” I watched her carefully.
“I do.” She nodded but didn’t go on.
“What is Miranda to you?” I asked quietly, Lana looked up at me.
“She’s nothing anymore.” She shook her head. “But she was everything once.”
“What happened?” I queried.
“It’s a very long story.” Lana sipped at her small glass of wine.
“I have plenty of time.” I told her.
“Maybe some other time.” Lana looked at me her eyes pleading for understanding, I nodded.
“Ok.” I sighed.
“Right, let’s get you back home.” She stood up. “Rebecca I meant what I said, these are serious people please don’t repeat anything I have told you tonight.
“I won’t, I promise you can trust me.” I told her.
CHAPTER NINE
I strode up the steps to the office, my cheeks red from the cold I pressed my finger to the buzzer.
“Dr Hill’s office.” Christine chimed through the intercom.
“Mrs Taylor.” I replied as the door buzzed open.
“Hey.” Lana met me at the door, “I was just going to change my shirt” I glanced at her, coffee had spilled down the front of the red fabric and she was moving towards the staircase that led upstairs.
“Do you live here?” I said in shock.
“Yeah.” She gave a small laugh. “I have an apartment upstairs.” She started moving up the stairs. “I won’t be a minute.” She walked away leaving me standing at the bottom unsure what to do. I watched her unlock the door by pressing numbers into a keypad on the wall and step out of view.
“I was hoping to catch you.” I jumped back off the bottom step my hand still on the smooth polished rail. Miranda stood in the door way, a set of keys still dangling from the golden lock, a tight smile pulled across the beige lipstick coating her mouth.
“I was just leaving.” I spluttered stupidly. She gazed at my hand which still lay palm down, lingering against the wood.
“The exit is this way.” She smiled again but her eyes had hardened. I pushed past her carefully trying to avoid any contact between the two of us, squeezing myself against the door frame as she refused to give an inch.
“Mrs Taylor.” The voice was sing song and sickly sweet.
“Yes?” I reached the bottom of the outer steps, my feet slipping slightly on the freshly fallen flakes of snow.
“We need to talk I think.” Miranda was making her way, step by step towards me. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets and stared at the floor.
“How’s it going? The sessions with the doctor?” She was a foot away from me, fiddling with a packet of cigarettes that she’d retrieved from an expensive looking leather purse.
“It’s ok.” I shrugged and accepted the box from her outstretched hand placing a cigarette between my lips and reaching for the lighter she offered.
“She’s beautiful isn’t she?” The question was said so simply I almost missed the hidden bitterness.
“Yes she is very pretty.” I nodded and blew smoke out into the air. “I don’t see what that has to do with my sessions though.”
“Exactly. It has nothing to do with what you are here for.” She glared at me. “Maybe you should bear that in mind. The reason you’re here, the job Lana is supposed to be doing, it’s a position she’s worked hard to get to, I’d hate to see her lose everything by crossing the patient, doctor line.” My mo
uth must have dropped open slightly Miranda held up a heavily ringed hand and gave a shallow laugh. “Please, don’t try and think of something to say. I’ve known that girl since she was sixteen years old, living in a small back of nowhere town, taking care of a mother who couldn’t stand her. I’ve seen her go through more women than she knew what to do with, everywhere she goes she breaks hearts, she has a way that makes people feel special, makes them love her, then she moves on. She needs to be needed and once that feeling has gone, well.” She flicked her cigarette into the gutter, it sizzled in the blackened slush. “She has no interest and I can spot a love struck puppy a mile off.”
I stood dumbfounded, staring at the floor.
“I’ve tried to back you out of the next four months of sessions, but the rest of the board still think it’s necessary. I’ll tell Lana to make sure her reports say you attended but of course I think its best that you don’t.” She replaced the lighter and cigarettes in her bag and pulled the zip closed.
“But I want to attend.” I muttered.
“What you want, doesn’t mean anything to me.” She was closer now, I could smell red wine on her breath mixed with the tobacco. “Stay away from her Mrs Taylor. I won’t say it again. You aren’t the first to be pulled in, the amount of girls I have turned a blind eye to for her, I should have known really that you would be no different. Don’t you think it’s a little bit pathetic, I mean, are you even gay? Weren’t you married?” She turned sharply and marched back up the steps closing the door with a push of her hand leaving me standing alone on the pavement my heart thundering in my chest.
CHAPTER TEN
The usual Christmas films rolled around the TV channels in a seemingly unending loop, a small tree stood in the corner of my new ground floor apartment, the money from the house had been divided of course and my half had been enough to buy a small place in a nice enough street. My parents had insisted on assisting me with the move and the plastic cone shaped attempt at a tree was my mum’s idea of compromise, I had said no decorations and wanting to be alone, she had said plastic tree and a kitten.
So my new little black and white roommate had arrived along with the tree and over excited mother. I had to admit though he was good for a laugh. I watched as he braced himself in front of the dangling shiny bauble his tiny tail wriggling in the air, eyes wide and ears flat as he pounced, had a moment of suspension and once again crashed into the gifts under the tree with a high pitched meow. I curled my feet underneath me on the two seater sofa quickly as he raced across the room with a hiss and skip.
“You are crazy cat!” I told him as he peeked around the arm of the chair, claws anchoring him in! The small square screen of my phone lit up followed quickly by a loud beep and grating vibration sending the kitten flying across the room once again, I smiled and reached for the handset. One new message. Doctor Hill. My heart seemed to slow so that every beat thudded in my throat, three weeks had passed since I had last seen Lana. I pressed down lightly and opened the message.
“Mrs Taylor you have missed three appointments in succession I am obligated to report this in your file if there is no valid reason as to why you haven’t attended. Please respond as a matter of urgency on the number below.”
A separate number was enclosed. I held down the text and copied the number pasting it into a new message I began to type.
“Doctor Hill I’m very sorry, I was under the impression you would have been informed by our mutual acquaintance as to why I haven’t attended as it was at her request that I stayed away.”
The phone rang almost instantly making me jump, slopping red wine down myself in the process.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Rebecca what are you talking about?” Lana’s voice sounded agitated.
“I thought you knew. Miranda stopped me at your office.” I began.
“No?” It was a question more than a response.
“Yeah, she basically told me that you, get close, with a lot of people.” I said tactfully “She seemed to think I have some kind of, relationship, with you and said she would tell you that I wasn’t coming to appointments anymore because she didn’t want it to affect your job.” I finished, my face had turned a bright shade of red.
“The little bitch!” Lana exclaimed, her accent strong in her annoyance. “Where are you?” The question surprised me.
“Erm I’m at home.” I said glancing around at the coffee table cluttered with take away cartons and empty bottles.
“Which is where dopey?” She laughed a little.
“34 Rose lane apartments.” I said carefully “Why?”
“Well I was hoping I could come around?”
“Here?” I sat bolt upright.
“Maybe not then.” The voice on the other end of the phone sounded deflated.
“No of course you’re welcome, just maybe give me an hour or three.” I laughed nervously, more loudly than I had intended.
“Sure.” There was a light sigh of relief. “See you about nine?”
“Sure.” I repeated before pressing down on the screen of my phone and ending the call.
“Shit!” I leapt to my feet, the kitten shot across the room avoiding my heavy steps as I rushed from place to place grabbing at bits of long forgotten rubbish and fluffing folded cushions. Lana was going to be coming to my apartment, within the next few hours and it looked like a dump, where was the fairy Godmothers when you needed them?
A light tap on the door sent my stomach twirling into knots, I pushed back my hair from my face it stuck to my skin still damp from the shower and straightened the black t shirt I had thrown on. It had taken the best part of an hour to choose what to wear, too much and it would be obvious I had dressed up especially, too little and I’d look like I didn’t care. Skinny jeans and a classic black v neck t shirt had won out. I took a deep breath holding the wiggling kitten in one hand to foil his escape and opened the door.
“Hey.” Lana smiled. “Oh my God who is this?” She instantly stepped through into the narrow hallway pushing the door closed behind her, dumping her shoulder bag which was rammed with papers to the floor she grabbed the kitten.
“Oh my parents got him for me as company.” I laughed walking backwards towards the living room, Lana followed still tickling the black and white fur ball.
“What’s his name?” She asked laughing as he swiped at her fingers with little velvet paws.
“Um, I haven’t really given him one yet.” I admitted. “I’ve just been calling him kitten!”
“That’s original.” She looked up at me and smiled again making my heart skip a beat. “Well Ok Kit, you win.” She gave a short laugh and placed him on the floor where he immediately decided to make a run for the tree again.
“Kit, I can live with that.” I told her nodding.
“Wine?” Lana backed out of the room and rustled through her bag returning with a dark glass bottle.
“Oh shit, I don’t have glasses.” I blushed.
“Cups are fine.” She smiled again as I stumbled across the room to the kitchen.
I placed the two black coffee mugs onto the top of a glass table and sat back on the couch as she poured out the dark red liquid. She’d kicked off her shoes I noticed and the thick grey coat was slung over the armchair opposite. Handing me one cup she took the other and sank back in her seat.
“Oh it’s been a long day.” She sighed sipping at her wine. “This time of year seems to bring out the worst in people.” She smiled sadly.
“Don’t you take time off for Christmas?” I asked.
“I do, but not much.” She nodded gazing at the fairy lights dotting the tree.
“You don’t go home for Christmas then?” I placed my cup down and reached for a cigarette. “Do you mind?”
“No not at all, in fact can I steal one?” Lana reached for the packet.
“Of course.” I leant forward flicking the lighter to life and hearing the sizzle as she inhaled and the white paper caught fire. For a moment I was
mesmerised, her lips parting to blow out the smoke softly, what was even wrong with me?
“If you mean America, no I don’t go back. There’s no need to really, my Mom isn’t around anymore and the family I do have there don’t really approve of my lifestyle.” She flicked the ash into the tray a little clumsily, she didn’t look like a regular smoker. “This year though I will be with family.” She bit her lip nervously. “I found my dad.”
“That’s amazing!” I exclaimed.
“It is, but it’s also kind of scary. They want me to go to this big family thing on Christmas Eve, I mean I’ve already met him, my dad, but he wants me to go to his house and meet his wife and son. Apparently it’s quite a big place in Chelsea they have a huge get together with lots of friends and all the cousins, Aunts, Uncles even the dogs.” She took another long pull on her cigarette.
“What was he like?” I asked stubbing my own cigarette out.
“Like me.” She said quickly. “Dark hair, green eyes. Apart from that I don’t really know, he didn’t stay long or say too much, he had business to attend to.” She rolled her eyes a little and I noticed the charcoal liner smudged at the corners.
“Wow.” I commented.
“Yep!” She agreed pouring out more wine. “Thirty years and he had to rush off!”
“What do you mean your family don’t approve of your lifestyle?” I asked even though I knew what the answer would be.
“Well the fact I’m a psychiatrist.” She kept her face deadly serious before bursting out laughing. “That I’m gay. They can’t stand it, small town and all that.”
I nodded trying not to laugh with a mouthful of wine.
“What about you?” She smiled.
“What about me?” I placed my glass back down and turned to face her.
“When did you know you liked women as well as men?” The question was so straight forward it threw me off and I stammered for the words. “Oh shit, really you hadn’t worked it out yet?” Lana grimaced. “Sorry, I just assumed!”
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