by Bree Cariad
Only he was right. It was all her fault in the first place. Her mom went to get some cough syrup when Stephanie was sick. She never came home.
“This’ll do,” he grunted, slamming on the breaks making her body fly forward. As her head crashed against the windshield, she cried out and he barked out a laugh. “Stupid, useless…” he grumbled as he leaned across her, opening the passenger door. “Go tell someone who cares.” Before she could figure out what he meant, he pushed her out of the door and sped off, leaving her shivering at the base of a tree.
It took several minutes for the pounding in her head to quiet enough for her to realize what had happened. “Daddy?” she said in a tremulous voice, but when she lifted her head, his car was nowhere in sight. In fact, nothing was anywhere in sight. Just forest and a partial track where he must have driven off. Sobbing softly, she lay her head back down. Now she’d done it. She had finally driven her father too far. He had threatened to kick her out several times and quite honestly lately she had been trying to make him do it just to see if he would.
But she never expected her father to drop her off in the middle of the woods. He must hate her. Sobbing a little louder, she wondered how long it would take for a wild animal to find her and if it would hurt terribly when it killed her. She was almost beyond caring anymore. At least then she would no longer have to hurt. At least then, she couldn’t harm anyone else.
There was a tremendous amount of silence in the forest and after her sobbing turned to just lying there breathing roughly, she stared up through the trees as the moon rose above. “Mom told me to believe in you, God,” she murmured. “But I stopped believing in you when she died. If you exist, I need your help.”
Almost instantly a strange sound entered the silence. The noise wasn’t exactly odd, but it didn’t belong out here. It was a diesel truck.
“Stephanie!” shouted a familiar voice. “Stephanie Knight!”
“Mr. Covington?” she called back, startled when a pair of headlights stopped in front of her and a door slammed open. Two minutes later, one of her best friend’s fathers knelt next to her.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” he murmured, his fingers sliding along her head and body looking for injuries. “I need to get you to the hospital, Stephanie. Can you get up on your own? Or do I need to carry you?”
“My hip,” she said, knowing she couldn’t move.
“All right, honey. This will probably hurt, but I’ll be as gentle as I can.”
On the trip to the hospital she was too numb to feel much of anything. Dr. Bretherton, her friend Kathy’s father, was there when she was brought in and she realized her shame would soon be known by all of her friends as well as the whole town. Her physical exam was as complete as it could be and before she knew it, there was a policewoman in front of her wanting a statement.
“A statement for what?”
“I need you to tell me what happened with your father, Stephanie,” she said gently.
“It was my fault,” she whispered, surprised when Mr. Covington took her hand in his.
“Stephanie,” he said in a calm, firm voice. “That isn’t what happened. You know it and I know it. Nothing you did could have caused what happened. Be brave. You can do it, honey.”
His strength was the only thing that made her tell everything that happened that night, from her dalliance down Fargyle Drive to her father’s explosion after the Covingtons dropped her off at her house. Once the policewoman had everything she needed, she patted Stephanie’s hand. “Don’t you worry, honey. That’s not going to happen again.”
Stephanie was in the hospital for three weeks before they released her and she had been afraid of what would happen at that point. Shipped out of town and out of the state to live in a shelter for abused girls had been a huge surprise, even when she realized it was run by a woman who knew Alex Covington. Transported back four months later to testify against her own father was painful, but she did it. Mr. Covington had stood by her side while she waited for the jury verdict and their vote of not-guilty by reason of insanity did not make her feel any better. Even knowing the man who had hurt her would spend the rest of his life in a hospital didn’t help. It just increased her guilt.
The problem now was how to go forward. Her entire life had been turned upside down and she had nothing to cling to, nothing to rely on. At first Camille’s father had asked her to move in with him and his family. That terrified her and she had refused. Stephanie could only imagine what the good girls of Hyacinth thought of her now. She’d broken the rules badly by walking down Fargyle and both Camille and Kathy had watched as she’d done it. There was no way she could look them in the face again. They must think her the worst sort of girl, the kind of girl her father had accused her of being. Mr. Covington was not happy with her decision and tried to talk her out of it, but when the therapist she was assigned spoke with the two of them and suggested that if he pushed, Stephanie might rebel and run away, he gave in. It was obvious he wasn’t happy about it, but he did come up with another option. A small cabin on the outskirts of Hins Creek where she could live quietly was available and he made her a promise. “As long as you go to your therapy appointments and find yourself a job, you can live here for free. You’ll get back on your feet, Stephanie. I promise.”
With nothing else on the horizon, she had agreed, asking of him only one thing in return. “Don’t tell anyone what happened to me. Just let them think I’ve disappeared.”
Chapter 1
Eight months later…
Stephanie struggled along the lane carrying her bags. The sun was almost down but thankfully she had made the trek from the grocery store to her small cabin before it became completely dark. Setting the bags down, she unlocked the door and walked in, turning on the light. Placing her groceries on the kitchen counter, she closed and locked the door, securing the deadbolt.
After removing her coat and placing it over her one chair, she worked at unpacking the bags, putting the perishables in the refrigerator and freezer before putting the rest of the food in her small cabinet. Once that small task was completed, she pulled out a small saucepan and opened a can of soup.
At nineteen years old, Stephanie felt about fifty. For the last year, she had lived the kind of life she had never even known existed before it happened to her. Her father had made the comment more than once that she was a spoiled brat and she assumed it must have been the truth. Learning to live on her own, get a job, and survive was a life lesson she would rather not have had, but it was her only real choice. Steph knew she had screwed up and that it fell to her to live with the consequences, no matter how much her therapist told her none of what happened was her fault. She was immensely grateful to Cami Covington’s father for everything he did for her. Not only had he provided her with this one-room cabin, but furniture had found its way inside over the first few months she had been here. First there was a daybed, a chair, and a small table, and then the bookcase that seemed to grow books. Every time she came home, she found one or two that hadn’t been there before.
Until she found a steady job as a seamstress, food had also found its way into her cupboards. Mr. Covington never bothered her, but his kindness was everywhere she looked.
Many times she wondered what had happened with her friends in Hyacinth. It was only a few miles away but it was a chasm she daren’t cross. They still lived lives she had once dreamed of, a life she would never have and didn’t feel she deserved. Stephanie assumed Kathy and Xan got married and hoped Cami hadn’t married Damian. Something had been off about that guy and she had worried often that he would hurt her best friend.
Her life in Hins Creek was hard, but she was happy to at least have a life. Jerod, her therapist, said that was a leap in the right direction. The man was nice but he thought she could have all the happiness she once desired. Now, all she wanted to do was to get through each day without getting hit. It was something she kept hidden deep inside. The fear that she would choose a man like her father. A
fter all, everyone said a girl chose a guy just like her dad. If she did that, she was doomed. Stephanie figured she was better off single and alone.
Looking at the calendar on the wall as she poured her soup into a bowl, she mentally calculated the work she had to do for her current clients. There was probably about two weeks work there before she would need to bring in some more. Thankfully for the most part, she was able to keep enough jobs coming in to keep her in food and anything she needed. She knew deep down that Mr. Covington would get her anything she could not afford, but she wanted to provide for herself. Stephanie was not his responsibility and would not let him shoulder her as a burden. She wouldn’t be anybody’s burden ever again if she could help it.
As late-April hit, one morning she felt the need to be near nature. Sometimes it came over her in a torrent and thankfully nature was everywhere around her. The beautiful Hins Creek Lake was just a couple miles walk and after locking her door and hanging a thread on it to show her if someone had been there, she headed out.
The wonderful fresh scent in the air of flowers beginning to bloom made her smile. Spring had always been her favorite time of the year. When they were younger, she, Cami, and Dora used to hike through the woods outside of Cami’s house, acting like they were completely distanced from civilization. Of course, Cami’s mother bringing out lemonade and cookies should have destroyed that fantasy, but it never did. Thinking of them again, Stephanie wondered if she dared to look at a Hyacinth newspaper to try and pick up news. She felt a need to find out what had happened with her two friends. Kathy too, of course, but she had only known her for six months. Cami, Dora, and Stephanie had been life-long friends. Until she had screwed things up and walked down Fargyle.
Even as the words went through her, Jerod’s phrase that he wanted her to affirm went through her head. “It wasn’t my fault. I’m a good person and deserve the best.” Other phrases he wanted her to say tried to come out but she blocked them. Perhaps some of his encouragement was getting through. After all, it did pop into her mind.
Reaching the lake, she sat down in the middle of the grass and closed her eyes, listening to the water as it moved. Sighing as her body relaxed, she leaned back letting the sun shine on her face. At least she still had some joys left.
“Stephanie!”
The scream had her bolt upright and glance around, shocked to see Cami Covington bolting through the high grasses in her direction. Before she could think of whether to flee or stay, Cami slammed into her, knocking her backward.
“Stephanie! Oh my gosh! Where have you been? Dad wouldn’t tell me anything except to say you were safe and well. I’ve missed you so much.” Cami’s arms wrapped around her neck and squeezed as her friend burst into tears.
While startled, Stephanie found her eyes filling with tears just as another voice she recognized spoke. “Love, you’re choking her.”
Looking up, Stephanie stared at her therapist who was leaning against a tree looking rather amused.
Pulling back, Cami beamed at her through her tears. “Oh, I can’t believe you’re here,” she said, reaching out to touch Stephani’s hair as if she half expected her to disappear. “Are you visiting? Here to stay? Either way I have so much to tell you and I can’t wait to hear about you. I’ve missed you.”
Cami’s babbling might overwhelm some people but to Stephanie it was the best sound in the world. “Um, actually I live nearby.”
“Really?” Cami’s eyes lit up as she stood up and helped Stephanie to her feet. “You’re back to stay? That’s great! You, me, and Dora should get together. I haven’t seen her for a while either. Oh, and this is Jerod Kinsley, my fiancé.” Cami turned and beamed at the man and he walked forward taking her hand.
“Stephanie and I know one another,” he said smoothly. “After all, we do live in the same town.”
“Oh, that makes sense,” Cami said and by the way she looked at him, she was head over heels in love with the man standing next to her. Stephanie was happy for her, even if it did open up a wound she would rather have stayed shut. Relationships like that weren’t for girls like her. “Which means we’ll live in the same town come September!”
Nodding, Stephanie searched for something to say. “So, Damian’s out.”
Cami raised an eyebrow. “Oh that’s right, you weren’t here for the fallout. No, Damian was a jerk. Jerod’s amazing. Oh! And I’m gonna be an aunt. Xan and Kathy are expecting.” The joy poured out of her friend, just like she remembered. Stephanie used to be like that. It seemed like a lifetime away.
“How about Dora?”
“She’s works full time for the ladies’ auxiliary doing secretarial stuff.”
“No courting?”
“Not that I’ve heard.”
There was a small pause as Stephanie wasn’t sure what to say. “Would you like to come back to the house for lunch?” Jerod asked.
“Oh, yes!” Cami said, her eyes dancing. “Do! There’s always plenty.”
For two hours, Stephanie semi-forgot the last year as her friend chatted and laughed, her gaiety helping to brighten the darkness that had been Stephanie’s life. After eating lunch, Jerod excused himself and it was just the two of them.
“Looks like you found a good one,” Stephanie said after he left. She rather liked the thought of her friend with Jerod Kinsley. He was a very nice man.
“Yes, I did,” Camille said, pausing as if looking for the right words. “Steph, can I help?”
“With what?”
“I don’t know. You’ve been gone and now you’re back and if you need any help, I’m here.”
Cami had a lot of her father’s strength of character and Stephanie smiled. “Thanks, but I’m good. I work as a seamstress and have a nice little cabin nearby.” It was nothing like the houses Cami lived in. Not like her parents or the one she would live in with Jerod. A small tinge of jealousy touched her but Stephanie kicked it right out. Cami deserved to be happy. “So, what’s it like dating a therapist?” she teased.
Cami laughed. “He’s wonderful, he truly is. I screwed up big time a year ago when things happened with Damian and Jerod never lets me get down on myself about it.” She grimaced and rubbed her backend. “He really doesn’t let me get down on myself.”
Sputtering a laugh, Stephanie grinned. Her father hadn’t been big on spanking, but she had heard of it often enough from her friends. “I don’t know how you handle that.” Cami and Dora had always been happier after a disciplinary action by their fathers and Stephanie had always craved that kind of peace. In fact, she now knew that was what she’d been trying in her way to achieve those last six months with her father, pushing him further and further, trying to get him to discipline her like their fathers did. It had blown up in her face.
There was a pause and the most blissful expression crossed Cami’s face. “Jerod loves me. Discipline just sets things right. I feel better after it’s done and sometimes just the act of him turning me over his knee brings everything into alignment.”
“Over the knee? Really?”
Snorting a giggle, Cami nodded. “Yeah, Dad only did it once. But Jerod prefers it. And so do I.” There was a pause and her friend reached forward and took her hand. “Steph, your father was sick. None of that was your fault.”
Gulping, Stephanie nodded. “I know. But that doesn’t make everything okay.”
“I know,” Cami sighed, nodding. “Believe me, I know.” As if Stephanie had asked, Cami opened up and told her everything that had happened with her over the last year. By the end of their talk, both of them had tears running down their eyes.
“If I ever see Damian, I’m gonna kick his butt,” Stephanie said, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin. “Though I’ll admit, I never thought he was good enough for you.”
“People say that now. I don’t ever remember anyone saying it before,” Cami said wryly. “But I’m okay with it now. I have someone so much better who loves me in a way I never could have imagined.” A small smile covered her
lips. “Don’t give up, Stephanie. I still think the right guy is out there for you.”
Grimacing, she shook her head. “No. I don’t think I ever could trust someone enough.”
“Okay, but can you still be my shopping buddy? After all, I shop for a living now.”
Laughing, Stephanie nodded. “I’d love to. I don’t have a phone, but I’m here once every two weeks to meet with your fiancé. Leave a message with him and we can work something out.”
“Wait. He’s your therapist?” Cami asked, gaping at her, an expression that was so Camille it made Stephanie grin. “Oh, I hope you don’t feel strange about it. Jerod never talks about his clients. Ever. Except to say they aren’t sick, just needing someone to talk to.”
They spoke for a few more minutes before Cami had to leave to go home. “I’m looking forward to when this is my home,” she said as she and Stephanie hugged before she left.
As Stephanie walked home, she felt a little hope. Maybe things were truly looking up.
“You want me to what?” Stephanie stared at her friend. Camille being who she was, had stayed in touch. In fact, she had written notes to Stephanie every day, spare thoughts that were running through her head – the kinds she used to text – and put them in an envelope to have Jerod give to her at their next appointment. Those notes had led to get-togethers until a couple weeks later they met for coffee at the Lava Lamp. Stephanie was nervous about being back in Hyacinth, but figured she could handle it for some time with her friend. Until Cami brought up what she wanted. “Can’t you just order one?”
“Not what I want,” her friend said, shaking her head. “I don’t want a traditional wedding dress. It needs to be unique, scream fall and autumn, and you are the only one I know who can pull that off.”