by Vicky Savage
“But you’re not in love with me—not really. You’re in love with a little girl with unusual eyes. You’re in love with a princess who built an orphanage and lives in a castle. That’s not me. I’m not that person.” It hurts to look in his eyes, so I turn away.
“You’re wrong, Jade,” he says quietly. “I’m in love with you. I love your generous heart, your courage, and your fire. I love that you forgave me for what I did to you. I love that even when you’re happy to see me, you are angry with me for taking the risk. I love that I am powerfully drawn to you, even from a hundred miles away. Forgive me Jade, but I love that you ache inside whenever we are apart. I love that you care enough to want to help my people, even at the risk of angering your mother. I love that when I kiss you, I feel powerful as a lion and weak as a lamb, all at the same time.”
I put my hand to his lips to stop him. “No Ryder, don’t say those things. Please believe me, this will never work. You and I can never be.”
He takes my hand and kisses my palm. “We can find a way to be together if we both want it. I promise you that.” Pulling me into a tight embrace, he rests his cheek on the top of my head, and I silently pray he’s right.
A knock at the door makes me jump. Ryder pulls away, ready to bolt.
Frightened, I call out, “Who’s there?”
“It’s Ralston. I’ve brought Fred and Ethel to say goodnight.” I heave a sigh of relief.
“Should I go?” Ryder whispers almost inaudibly.
“Stay. It’s all right.”
I open the door for Ralston. He steps into my room, a Skorpling in each arm. His face registers no surprise at seeing Ryder.
“Good evening Ryder,” he says dryly. “News travels fast, I see.”
Ryder smiles and rakes a hand nervously through his hair. Fred and Ethel squirm impatiently in Ralston’s arms. Fred comes to me immediately, but when Ethel sees Ryder she turns shy and crawls onto Ralston’s back, hiding her face behind his neck.
“Jay, Jay,” Fred says in his Munchkin-like voice, fiddling with strands of my hair.
“Fred, I missed you,” I kiss his furry nose.
Obviously astonished by the two exotic creatures, Ryder’s mouth hangs open.
“Ryder, this is my friend, Fred,” I introduce them. “Fred is a Skorpling. Have you ever seen one before?”
“No, I’ve heard about them though,” he says, staring at Fred. “They’re astounding! They speak.”
“Yes, they have a limited vocabulary, and they have trouble pronouncing some letters, but overall they’re excellent company. Fred, shake hands with Ryder.”
Fred holds out a tiny hand and Ryder shakes it. “Incredible!” he says.
“Ethel, come here,” I coax. “Ryder is very nice. He has beautiful blue eyes and soft hair.”
Ethel peers shyly around Ralston’s neck and reaches out her hand for me. I take her in my other arm and carry her to Ryder.
She watches him for a second, then reaches for him. “Hair,” she coos.
“Ryder, Ethel loves hair. Is it all right if she touches yours?” He looks uncertain at first, but holds out his arms to take her.
She goes to him, timidly fingering his silky tresses. “Pretty,” she says.
“Yes.” I agree with her.
She puts her furry hand on Ryder’s face. “Oooh, eyes,” she croons. “Ryer pretty.”
“No. Ryder is handsome.” I correct her.
She ignores me and puts her arms around Ryder’s neck, planting a fuzzy kiss on his cheek. “Ethel like Ryer,” she says, nestling deeper into his arms.
Ryder looks completely nonplussed.
“Yes, well, don’t get too comfortable,” Ralston says to Ethel. “You two need to go to bed.” He takes her from Ryder’s arms, and carries her to me. “Kiss Jade goodnight.”
She obeys. “Goonight, Jay,” she says. “Goonight Ryer.”
Ralston takes Fred from me. “Goonight Jay,” Fred says.
“Goodnight Fred, sleep tight,” I scratch behind his ear.
With the two Skorplings in his arms, Ralston turns to Ryder. “I would be extra careful out tonight, if I were you. Additional patrols have been stationed around the palace grounds and on the village road. You might consider an alternate route.”
“Thanks, Ralston, I will,” he says.
“Oh, and Jade, apparently your mother has planned an early morning outing for us, so don’t be up too late.” Ralston looks meaningfully at both Ryder and me.
“I won’t. Ryder’s leaving soon.”
“Good, I’ll see you in the morning. Travel safely, Ryder.”
“Goodnight Ralston,” we say in unison.
When we’re alone again, Ryder says, “Those Skorplings are astonishing, where did you get them?”
“They were a gift from the King of Copula de Vita for my tenth birthday.” I repeat what Ralston told me.
Ryder takes my face in his sturdy hands. My arms automatically wind around his waist. “Thank you for allowing me into your room tonight. My heart is much lighter than before. I shall leave you now and give you your rest.”
“Stay for just a bit longer,” I say, not willing to let him go yet. “How about a cup of Ralston’s special chamomile tea? I have some right here.” I step over to the kitchenette in the corner of my room and take two cups from the cupboard.
“I suppose it would be all right. I have missed Ralston’s tea these past weeks. I do miss his company. It seems that you two get on very well, though. I am glad he is with you now.”
This makes me feel a little guilty. “Well he may get tired of me very soon and be back on your doorstep. You never know.”
We talk and drink tea in front of the fake fire for what feels like a few minutes, but in reality is two hours. At last Ryder gets to his feet and stretches.
“It’s getting late, love,” he says. “It will be light in a few hours, and I’d better be on my way. When will I see you again?”
“You mean when am I coming to Unicoi? Or when will it be convenient for you to sneak up to my room again?”
He laughs his delicious laugh. “Either one.”
“I’ll speak with Mother tomorrow about a trip to the Enclave. But, please don’t come here again. I mean it. This place is getting to be as closely guarded as Fort Knox.”
“Fort what?”
“Never mind. Just let me come to you.” I twine my arms around his waist.
He brushes his lips along the side of my jaw stopping at my ear. “When?” he whispers.
It’s hard for me to breathe, let alone think when he does that. “I’ll try for next week,” I manage to get out. “I’ll send word through Lorelei.”
“Thank you.” He kisses me deeply, and my mind immediately begins devising ways to keep him here.
“Can’t you stay just a bit longer?” I ask.
He shakes his head, “It will be a long journey home if I take the back roads. I’ll need the cover of darkness until I get close to the tunnel.”
“Go then, and please be careful.”
“I’ll see you next week.” He scoops up his armor.
I walk him to the balcony doors. “Hey Ryder.”
“Yes, love?”
“What would you have done if I had been engaged?”
He slips into his armor and fastens the sides. “I’m not really certain. Perhaps I would have pleaded with you to reconsider, or challenged Damien to a duel.” A smile plays at his lips. “Or maybe I’d have kidnapped you again. I could do it better this time. I’ve learned a thing or two.” He pulls me into another embrace.
“No way that could happen again. I’ve learned a few things myself.”
As he leaves, the familiar hollow, aching feeling immediately grips my insides. I put out the light and climb into bed. Ryder’s smell is still strong on my skin, and I inhale deeply, recalling the feel of him. Lying in the darkness, I’m forced to admit to myself that for me it’s too late also. I love him—and, worse, I need him.
&nbs
p; Heaven help me.
TWENTY-NINE
Ralston wakes me up at an ungodly early hour. He’s fired-up for our little field trip, and much too cheery for this early in the morning.
He says Mother arranged for us to join her head stableman, Griffin Barksdale, for an excursion to a neighboring horse farm to choose some new horses for the palace stables. I’ve never been to a horse farm before. I guess it could be sort of fun. It has to be better than hanging around the palace and brushing up on my French.
The air is fresh and crisp as we walk to the stables. The pinkish-silver light of the Domerican sunrise slants through the morning shadows, painting everything a rosy shade. Since we have a few minutes alone, I tell Ralston about the Coalition meeting and Mother’s concerns that Philippe and Rafael might try to force her into agreeing to build a new dome.
“We knew this would happen at some point,” he says. “We did not foresee it occurring quite so soon. It could present a rather touchy situation for Domerica; I’ll ask my people to do some checking into it.”
“What did Mother mean when she said she was the Designated Guardian?”
“As Queen of Domerica, she is also the Designated Guardian of the only existing set of dome plans, specifications, and materials on this earth. The IUGA left them here at the time of the Great Disaster, should the construction of a new dome ever become necessary. The materials are kept hidden deep inside large caves, the location of which is known only to members of the Domerican Royal Family and the elite group of guards who dedicate their lives to protecting them.”
“For real? So nobody can build a new dome without Mother’s permission?”
“Exactly. Unless they use force. The dome walls are made from a clear material, harder than diamonds and non-existent on this planet. More importantly, the Xtron energy cell required to power the dome is stored with the other materials. It is extremely valuable and utterly irreplaceable—not to mention capable of global destruction in the wrong hands.”
“Geez. No wonder Mother was so upset. This really could mean war for Domerica.”
“Don’t fret about it, my dear,” he says. “These things have a way of working themselves out. You’ll be home in Connecticut before any kind of compromise or confrontation takes place. Our director, Braxton Zarbain, is convinced that things will return to a predictable pattern once you are back where you belong.”
His words don’t comfort me. I’m not thinking about Connecticut at the moment, I’m worried about my mother, and afraid that somehow all of this is my fault. I want to help her, but maybe the best way to do that is to get the hell out of Dodge as quickly as possible.
We find Barksdale putting the finishing touches on saddling Roxanne. He’s a crusty old codger who looks about a hundred and nine years old and smells faintly of manure. He bows courteously to me.
“Good morning Princess Jaden. Her Highness tells me you are in the market for a new horse,” he croaks.
I get it now—that’s Mother’s surprise. The only problem is, I like Roxanne just fine and don’t really want a new horse. “Maybe,” I say.
“We shall be seeing some fine horseflesh today at the Selkirk farm. You may find a nice little filly for yourself.”
“We’ll see.” I pat my sweet little mare on the neck. “It would be hard to find a better companion than Roxanne.”
“Suit yourself,” he sniffs, obviously disapproving of my current mount.
A slight chill lingers in the air as we start out for the Selkirk farms. I wonder if the temperature on the dome climate control gets turned down at night, or whether the outside temperature gets so cold that it cools the dome. I still have so much to learn about this land.
Mist settles in the lush green meadows. The distant chirping of an occasional bird is the only sound besides the clopping of our horses’ hooves. Two palace guards trail behind us—near enough to lend aid if we’re attacked, but far enough away so they don’t intrude on our little group.
We ride for a little more than an hour when Barksdale says, “There’s the edge of Selkirk’s farm.” He points ahead to where a post and rail fence begins. “The entrance is yonder about 200 yards.”
Once we reach the farmhouse, Ralston and I wait while Barksdale goes in search of farmer Selkirk. We tie our horses to a hitching post and sit on a shaded bench under a spreading elm.
“Ralston, can I ask you something?” A question has been gnawing at me since last night, when I realized how totally gone I am on Ryder Blackthorn.
“You can always ask, Jade.”
“Yeah, yeah. Meaning you might not answer me, right?”
“I’ll answer if I can.”
“Is there a Ryder back home? I mean, back on the earth where I come from?”
He’s silent for a moment. I hold my breath. “Yes, Jade, there is a Ryder Blackthorn on your earth.”
“Will we ever, you know, meet each other?”
His eyes soften. “It’s not really appropriate for me to reveal too much about the future—it could have some untoward consequences. All I can say is that if it is meant to be, you and Ryder will find each other.”
That is something to hope for, at least. I swallow hard. “Ralston, I think I’m in love with him.”
He presses his lips into a tight line and looks a little peeved. “What happened to exercising self-control?”
“I fought against it, Rals, I really did. But I lost.”
He shakes his head, but his pique turns into something closer to amusement. “Oh well, you could certainly do worse.”
“But this is a catastrophe. We can’t be together. You told me so, yourself.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Love doesn’t come with a guarantee, Jade. Some people never find a great love. You are one of the lucky ones.”
“Lucky? I don’t feel lucky. When I’m not with him I’m thinking about him constantly, and when I’m with him, all I do is think about how I’m going to have to leave him in a little while.”
“The poet Tennyson would tell you it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all,” Ralston says.
“Do you really believe that crap?” I say, frowning.
“Everyone must decide that for him- or herself. What matters is what you believe, Jade.”
“I believe this is going to be an ocean of heartache—and not just for me, for Ryder too. But he doesn’t really get to decide does he? It isn’t very fair to him. I feel horrible about that.”
“Ryder is a smart young man, Jade. He knows there are risks, great risks, in undertaking a relationship with you.”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t know all the risks, does he?”
Ralston chuckles, “No one ever knows all the risks of love, Jade. That’s half the fun.”
“But, he’s already suffered so much loss, how will he ever cope with my death—I mean the death of the Jaden here—when I go home?”
“I didn’t say your counterpart here was going to die,” Ralston corrects me.
“You said she was supposed to have died from the fall off the cliff, the night I came. I thought that meant…”
“As I’ve been telling you, we don’t know what it means, that’s the point,” he interrupts. “This wasn’t supposed to have happened at all. You weren’t supposed to be here. The fact that you are has changed everything. You were never supposed to meet, and now that you have the entire course of this life has been rearranged. Frankly, we don’t know yet where it will go upon your departure.”
“Well, what are some of the likely options?”
He balks at the question. “Oh, I don’t know really… things could freeze in place, like your life back in Connecticut. I suppose a chance exists that your counterpart could be brought back. She is technically still alive, in body if not in spirit.” He shakes his head. “The possibilities are too numerous to list. I really don’t think I should speculate.”
I feel a pang of jealousy that the old Jaden might come back and be with Ryder. Then I realize I’m f
eeling jealous of myself, which I can’t quite get my head around.
I chew on my upper lip, afraid to ask the next question. “Rals, just tell me this one thing, could one of the possibilities be that I might stay here? Stay with Ryder?”