It's Always Been You

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It's Always Been You Page 9

by Paige, Victoria


  A hungry gleam entered his eyes.

  “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation over dinner.”

  Travis leaned back, quirking a brow. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Porter.”

  Travis scowled. “I didn’t know he was going to see you today, Cat. I would have preferred it if I had been with you during your first meeting with the admiral.”

  “I thought you knew.”

  “I’ll never throw you to the wolves,” Travis said. “Porter can be pushy. Although”—he paused and smiled—“he did tell me you had a mouth on you.”

  “He was pushy,” Caitlin affirmed.

  “If you don’t feel comfortable with his demands, don’t do it. Tell him to talk to me.”

  “I handled him, didn’t I?”

  “I know, sunshine,” Travis sighed. “I can’t help but feel protective of you. It’s my nature, babe.”

  “Come here,” Caitlin whispered.

  Baffled, he leaned halfway between them. Caitlin did the same and brushed a soft kiss on his lips. When she pulled back, the emotion in his eyes almost prevented her from speaking her next words.

  “Thank you, Trav. I appreciate it. I really do.”

  “I haven’t told him you broke into the files. It’s not my news to tell, so I’ll leave it up to you,” Travis said after a beat. “Besides, I didn’t want him ruining our date tonight.”

  They resumed eating in comfortable silence, which was punctuated with random small talk about BSI, her therapy at the NEST, and what she wanted to do for the next few days.

  Over dessert, Travis watched her intently, like he wanted to ask her something, but didn’t know how.

  “What?” Caitlin prompted when she couldn’t stand the scrutiny any longer.

  “I think it’s time for me to tell my parents that you’re alive,” Travis said. “That their son is still married.”

  “Are we?”

  “I feel married. I’m going to arrange another ceremony and—”

  “Travis, slow down.” Caitlin’s mind was spinning. “Can we handle one thing at a time? I’m okay not having all the legalities worked out yet.”

  “Well, I’m not.”

  “Look, it’s only been two weeks. The doctor told me I may have had a personality change from how hard I hit my head.”

  “What are you trying to say?” His voice was brittle and cold.

  “You may not want to stay married to me. I may not be the same woman—”

  “Don’t lay this on me,” he interrupted brusquely, lowering his voice. “I don’t want the same woman. I want you—Caitlin Kincaid. You’re the one having doubts. That’s why I don’t want to delay intimacy between us any longer.”

  “Travis—”

  He ignored her and asked for the check.

  “Travis—”

  “It’s time, Caitlin,” Travis said. “Time for you to be reacquainted with me. Your husband”—his nostrils flared—“in every way.”

  *****

  The drive back to the house was wrought with sexual tension. An electrified charge bounced between them. Travis’s hand gripped the steering wheel tightly. Damned woman was driving him insane. He needed her. He wanted to sink inside her, but he wanted her to be willing, which was why he took care of himself earlier before he got ready for their date. And he was thankful he did, because he didn’t think he had the strength to hold back after Caitlin had appeared before him looking like a vision from a dream. But nothing was going to stop him from tasting her.

  He glanced briefly over to her. In the dim light of the SUV, he could see the exposed length of her legs. All he needed to do was shove up that skirt, throw her legs over his shoulders, and bury his face into her sensual heat. He swore he could almost smell her arousal.

  Brake lights started to blink sporadically ahead. He cursed. Traffic. Welcome to Washington DC. What possessed him to pick a faraway restaurant for dinner? Because he wanted to impress her. Well, he absolutely couldn’t wait to taste her.

  He spotted an exit. It would take them around the Beltway on a relatively empty stretch of road and add another thirty minutes to their trip home, but looking at the Beltway traffic, that would still be the faster alternative.

  Travis cut in sharply in front of a car, which honked angrily at him.

  “What are you doing?” Caitlin screeched.

  “Traffic.”

  “I see that but—”

  “I’m taking a different route home,” Travis informed her.

  He groaned when he saw the road was not as deserted as he thought, figuring everyone else had the same idea. He tried to think of another route, but by this time his brain was dead and all the thinking had gone south.

  He spotted a farm with a long driveway lined with trees. Perfect.

  He made a right turn into the farm’s entrance.

  “Travis, it says private property,” Caitlin said in alarm.

  Ignoring her, he rolled the SUV a hundred feet up under a plush canopy of trees, cut the engine, and turned off the headlights.

  He slammed out of the vehicle, rounded the front to get to her side, and yanked her door open. He plucked her out of her seat, and deposited her into the back one, following in right behind her.

  “Are you crazy?” Caitlin hissed. “On the side of the road, Travis? Really?”

  “You make me do crazy things, babe,” he said before he pushed her flat on her back. He shoved her skirt up, spreading her thighs, one leg up and cocked at the knee, the other leg had its foot resting on the floor of the SUV.

  “Travis.” She tried to push up, but he pressed her down again and wedged himself between her legs, covered her body, and shut her up with his mouth. She yielded to his probing tongue. Fuck, she tasted of chocolate cake and vanilla. So damned sweet.

  His hand searched for the zipper of her top.

  “Where’s the damned zipper?” he rasped against her lips.

  “Side.”

  Fucking women’s clothes were so complicated, Travis thought desperately until he finally found the damned thing and yanked it down. The bodice loosened. He realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. His mouth left her lips as he hungrily fastened his teeth on her nipple. She moaned in response, spurring him to suck at the turgid tip even as his hand searched between her legs. He felt her spread her legs automatically, pushing her pussy desperately into his fingers.

  He was going to lose his shit. His fingers were drenched.

  Giving her nipple one last twirl with his tongue, he cursed the cramped space and had her sit up partially so he could get in position. He couldn’t hold back any longer and buried his face between her thighs.

  Oh, fuck me! Her feminine musk. He missed this. The taste of her finally on his tongue. He growled and feasted ferociously. He held the crotch of her panties to one side so he could run his tongue over her clit. Teasing the swollen nub out of its hood, he drew in the moisture from her pussy to bathe the bundle of nerves in slickness before he gently sucked it between his lips. He remembered exactly how she liked it. And she shot off like a rocket when he did his combo move with his tongue and lips.

  “Travis! Oh, God, don’t stop. Oh, please . . .”

  He added his fingers when she was incredibly slick, and he could feel her orgasm clamping over his digits.

  He shifted her again and crawled up on top of her, letting his fingers finish wringing her release while he kissed her fervently.

  “Fuck, babe, you taste as sweet as ever,” he whispered hoarsely. “I missed you so damned much.”

  “You?” She managed a gasp.

  “I’m fine.” Travis watched her passion-filled eyes close as another wave hit her. He continued pumping his fingers within her warm silken walls, savoring every nuance of her shudders. And as she screamed his name once more, he shoved his face in the crook of her shoulders and rasped into her ears, “That’s it, babe. Let go. I’ve got you.”

  *****

  Holy freaking orgasm!


  She had never, ever come so hard in her life. Well. That she could remember. Her whole body was still tingling from the intensity of her release. And that had just been from his mouth and fingers. And from all accounts, a quickie. What if he did that to her every day and took his time?

  Travis was a dangerous man. To her heart and her physical longings. He’d definitely given her a preview of what a sexual relationship with him would mean. And he’d been a wonderful husband so far. It was easy to fall in love with this man.

  She recognized the scenery now that flashed by her window. They were almost home after getting stuck in stop-and-go traffic for almost an hour. They had not spoken to each other after their heated encounter in the backseat. She was too overwhelmed to say anything. Travis must be feeling the same, for he seemed content to curse at the aggravating slow crawl of cars before them.

  When they pulled into the garage, she heard him exhale deeply and thought she heard him mutter, “Finally.”

  Caitlin slid off her seat, and was surprised to find Travis was already in front of her, waiting for her to clear the door so he could close it for her.

  “Are you okay?” His voice was gruff.

  “Of course, Travis—”

  “I wasn’t too rough?”

  “Well, I’m the one who had an orgasm,” Caitlin teased. “I’m not complaining.”

  Relief flooded his eyes.

  They entered the house through the kitchen. Travis asked if she wanted anything as he grabbed a glass to get some water.

  “No. I’m good,” Caitlin said. She had the sudden urge to retreat. She felt bare, like he had exposed her soul, and she was feeling extremely vulnerable. “Thanks for dinner, Travis. Good night.” She turned to scuttle up the stairs.

  She jumped when she heard him slam the glass on the countertop and footsteps plodded distinctly behind her. Caitlin felt fingers clamp around her upper arm, and he spun her around to face him.

  “I can’t fucking believe this,” Travis said furiously. “Are you playing this game with me?”

  “No!”

  “Then what’s with all these mixed signals?” he demanded. “You were all light and teasing in the garage, and suddenly you’re skittish?”

  “I just don’t know what to do next,” Caitlin said helplessly.

  “I’ll tell you what I’m doing next. I’m taking you to bed—no, don’t look at me that way—I’m not fucking you until I know you’re ready, and, sunshine, right now, you’re not ready.” Travis’s eyes searched her face. “We’ve been sleeping apart for two weeks. That shit stops now. I want you in my fucking bed starting tonight.”

  All that cursing punctuating his declaration told her that Travis was done being Mr. Nice Guy. He was showing his true arrogant asshat self. “Now wait a minute—”

  He leaned in closer and snarled, “Not up for discussion.”

  “Excuse me?” Caitlin felt her temper spike. “For all intents and purposes, we’ve been on one date.”

  “For all intents and purposes, babe, we’re fucking married,” he shot back.

  “Says you!”

  “Yeah? And are you going to deny you were screaming my name while you were creaming all over my mouth and fingers an hour ago?”

  “Don’t be crude! God!” Caitlin threw up her arms in frustration.

  “I’m done waiting for you to come around, so let me clue you in, Cat,” Travis said. “I’ve tasted you again, and, babe, it’s fucking sweet. Not living without that again even for a single second. You’ll be waking up in my bed, every morning with me wrapped around you. You may also find me with my dick inside you or with my mouth on your pussy—”

  Oh, my God, I’m having another orgasm, Caitlin thought.

  “—I decide how to wake you up, and I promise you’ll love it.”

  Well, she did tell Dr. Lester she wanted Travis to show her his true colors, and it appeared she had gotten her wish. So why was she all frigging tongue-tied right now? Because his proximity affected her so much, and she was finding it an effort to even breathe. Unable to speak, she let her eyes do the talking, shooting sparks of defiance at him.

  One dark brow quirked up in amusement. He was laughing at her?

  She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and said, “This Neanderthal act won’t work with me. Good night!”

  And with her chin jutting out, she stomped toward the staircase. At the bottom of the landing, she bent to unstrap her sandals. When she managed to take both of them off, she found herself suddenly upside down, moving up the stairs, and staring at a very nice masculine ass.

  He did not just toss her over his shoulder!

  “What the hell are you doing?” Her voice came out shriller than she wanted.

  Travis just grunted a response and before long she found herself thrown on a bed with over two-hundred-pounds of pure sex-on-a-stick falling on top of her. She could be underhanded too and yanked his hair viciously.

  He growled deep in his throat, circled her wrists with his hands, and slammed them on either side of her head.

  “Stop fighting,” he ordered.

  She raised her head and screeched into his face. “No!”

  She caught a glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes before he blocked her vision when his lips came crashing down on hers. Before he could shove his tongue into her mouth, she bit him. Travis cursed as she wiggled underneath him. She was only too aware of the growing bulge rubbing against her thighs.

  She shouldn’t be so freaking aroused. Was he right when he said she liked it rough?

  “You still play dirty,” he rasped. He released her hands and immediately sought the delta between her legs. “But so can . . . fuck, babe, you’re soaked.” He tore her underwear off and slipped his fingers inside her. “Your pussy’s saying yes.” He placed open mouth kisses down her jaw before returning to her lips, obviously not caring if she bit him again. Her mouth opened to allow entry to his tongue. He groaned into her mouth and deepened the kiss while his fingers stroked a particularly sensitive spot in her core, the sensations suddenly coalescing into an unbearable pulsing. She wanted him. She opened her legs further, rubbing herself against his hardness. It wasn’t enough.

  She started fumbling for his belt buckle and his zipper. He lifted his head and said hoarsely, “Are you sure? I wasn’t going to—”

  “Yes . . . I need you, Travis.”

  Finally, his erection sprang free. His face was unreadable as he backed away slightly. Oh, Lord. He was huge—long and thick—his stiff phallus veined and pulsing fiercely in her hand. He wrapped her legs higher around him, flattening her on her back. She lost hold of him. She felt him roll the head of his cock along the folds of her sex, coating himself with her moisture in preparation to enter her.

  She tingled in anticipation, the breaching head of his shaft stretching her, until suddenly, she froze. He was bareback.

  “Wait!”

  “Caitlin,” his voice was strangled. “You’re killing me, babe.”

  “Condom.”

  He stilled and stared at her intently. “I’m clean. I swear.”

  “I am too, but I’m not on birth control.”

  She could have imagined it, but a possessive gleam entered his eyes. She didn’t like it.

  “It’s fine. We’ll take care of it.” He resumed pushing in.

  What the hell? What did he mean? That he was going to pull out or he would spill into her anyway. Either thought had no appeal to her. He was not the one who would be carrying a baby for nine months. Freaking Neanderthal.

  “Travis!” Caitlin hissed, squirming her hips away from him.

  He sighed and muttered, “Fuck.” Then he rolled off her on his back. He raised an arm and rested the back of his hand over his forehead.

  “Nothing will make me happier, you know,” he said after a few minutes. “We’d been planning to start a family.”

  Caitlin scrambled off the bed, grabbing her torn underwear and huffed when she realized it was ruined. “That’s your p
lan with Sarah. Not me. I wasn’t privy to your plans with her for having a child. I don’t think I’m the maternal type.”

  Something snapped in him as he shot off the bed, furiously tucking himself back in his pants. “Guess what, Caitlin? You are Sarah and Sarah is you. Believe me, I’ve tried so hard to wrap my head around it and it’s driving me insane. So yes, probably it’s not fair for me to push this dream we’ve made together on you because you don’t remember. I’m sick and tired of tiptoeing around you, afraid I might hurt your feelings because I might say something that was only a memory between me and Sarah—who is you. I swear I want to move forward only with you. With you, Caitlin.” His face was tormented when he choked out, “But you insist on making this a fucking nightmare every single time. I can’t fucking take it anymore.”

  “So living with me is a nightmare?” Caitlin couldn’t breathe because an excruciating pain gripped her chest.

  Travis stared at her, his lips thinning grimly. He shook his head and said, “Fuck this.”

  He left her standing there and slammed out of the bedroom.

  Caitlin stared numbly at the shut door, unable to process what Travis had said.

  Fucking nightmare.

  I can’t fucking take it anymore.

  Fuck this.

  The tears came and she gulped back a racking sob. She ran back to her own room and locked herself in the bathroom. She started crying hard. Nobody wanted her. Jase left her. And only after two weeks, Travis had given up on her when he hadn’t for three years. She could never compare to who she was before. She stared at herself in the mirror. She was scarred in more ways than one.

  She couldn’t sleep with his smell all over her. So she started the shower and stayed under its punishing heated spray until her skin was scraped of every essence of him. Afterward, she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep.

  *****

 

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