Daniel walked over, hand extended, thinking to himself that regardless of how good the food might be this was going to be one very long evening.
****
The cocktails flowed, as did the conversation, and Justine’s guests devoured the food. The compliments were abundant as they sampled bits of everything. Justine looked quite pleased. Daniel wished that Marienne could see how successful her planning had turned out.
When the evening began to wind down, they sat in the living room for coffee. The platter of cookies, the plates of fruit, and the chocolate and caramel fondues were spread out across the coffee table.
Nicholas Thompson, the oldest gentleman in the group, turned to face him. “So, Daniel,” he said, in a gruff voice. “What do you do?”
Daniel put down his coffee cup to give Nicholas his full attention. “I’m a professor in the English department at NYU.”
Nicholas nodded, seeming impressed. “Good school. My granddaughter is thinking of applying there in the fall.”
“It’s an excellent school,” Daniel said. “Justine and I are both alumni.”
“Really.” He sounded pleased. “Then I’ll have to tell my granddaughter I approve. Not that it matters much what her old granddad thinks. She’s a free spirit that one.” He chuckled and reached over to grab a cookie.
Daniel smiled, at the warmth in his tone. He guessed that Marienne’s cookie platter had gone a long way toward placing the man in a good mood.
Justine perched on the arm of the couch and draped her hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Daniel’s not just a professor. He’s also a writer. He’s working on a novel.”
She added extra emphasis on the word ‘novel’. Daniel pulled away enough to throw her a look. What are you doing?
Justine smiled the fakest, sweetest smile at him and ever so slightly tightened her grip on his shoulder.
Peter Bronson, who had seemed uninterested in the conversation most of the evening, turned toward them. “A novel? Really? That’s quite an undertaking. What’s it about, if I may ask?”
“I’m working on a few things.” Daniel chose his words carefully. “Writing is one of those things that takes time.”
“I’m quite sure it does. I imagine that must keep you very busy. Sounds like you’ve got a good man here Justine.” Peter smiled at her.
Justine nodded, appearing pleased with both herself and the compliment.
As the evening wrapped up, they walked their guests to the door.
“Thank you both for a lovely evening. Daniel, pleasure to meet you,” Nicholas said.
“Likewise, sir.” Daniel shook his hand again.
“We’ll talk this week,” he said to Justine then he strode out the door.
****
Justine closed the front door behind them and leaned back against it. Her eyes glinted, black as onyx.
“That went well,” she said, clearly talking more to herself than to Daniel. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, then scowled. “What a mess. This is why I despise cooking. You suppose we could talk Marienne into coming back to clean up?” She gave a dark, dry laugh that grated on him.
“I think Marienne’s done quite enough to ensure that your evening was a success.”
Justine rolled her eyes. “I was kidding. Geez. Where’s your sense of humor?”
“Why the bloody hell were you compelled to announce that I’m working on a novel?”
“I didn’t want him thinking you were only a professor. That hardly seems ambitious.”
Daniel’s jaw tensed. “My God, the way you talk about it you’d think I was panhandling under a bridge instead of teaching literature classes at one of the top universities in the country.”
“It’s not the most glamorous job. I shouldn’t need to tell you that. I didn’t want them thinking that you were one of the many ‘those who can’t do, teach’ examples, that’s all.”
Indignation coursed through him. “Is that what you think? That I teach because I’m not capable of anything else?”
“It’s not a question of capability. You’re capable of a lot of things that you choose not to do, and that’s where I don’t understand you.”
“What do you mean?” He wanted to make certain he knew exactly what she was saying.
“You were capable of becoming a model and making heaps of money at it, but you chose not to because you weren’t comfortable with the cameras. You were capable of taking the job offer from LINTUS, you could be one of their top ad men by now, but again you weren’t comfortable with the career. Instead you work at the same college you attended, the same place you’ve been forever, in your very comfortable job, with the same boring classes to teach over and over.” She took a gulp of wine. “I don’t honestly know if you’re writing anything these days, but I certainly don’t see you slaving away on the novel you always said you’d like to write. I was trying to make it seem like you had some sort of goals in your life, that’s all. Sue me.”
Daniel took a moment to process the barrage of criticisms. “Is that really how you feel about me? That I have no goals and no aspirations? That I’ve taken the easy way out?”
“Yes.”
“Then why on earth are you with me? If you sincerely feel that my entire life, all my choices, are some sort of cop out, some disappointment you feel the need to lie to cover up, why are you with me?”
He’d only questioned their relationship in this manner once before, and they had come close to splitting up. It was clear the question took Justine by surprise.
She stammered, “Because you’re my husband.”
“What does that mean?” Daniel was unwilling to let her off the hook.
“It means I’ve made a commitment to you, to be your wife.” She kept her voice calm, but he could tell her mind was racing. “And because I love you.”
Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath but remained silent. He was still brooding about her comments.
“I’m sorry,” she said. His eyebrows went up as he heard the words she so rarely uttered. “I’m tired, and I’m stressed, and I shouldn’t have said those things. I know you did a lot to help me today, and I do appreciate it. I appreciate you.” She moved closer to him.
He kept his arms crossed.
“Can you forgive me?” She rested her hands on his chest.
He took another deep breath, his jaw still set. “Yes.”
She unfolded his arms and wrapped them around her. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t hug her either. Not even when she pressed herself extra close to him. Her brow furrowed.
“I really am sorry,” she said, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
He knew it was killing her to apologize, but she’d gone too far this time. He wasn’t ready to let it go. “Look, we’re both exhausted. We’re not going to accomplish anything by arguing while we’re this tired.”
“You’re right.” She pressed against him again. “Let’s go up to bed.”
“You go.” He stepped back. “I haven’t had a chance to check emails all day, and I was expecting a response about the conference I had this morning. I’ll be up later.”
She looked disappointed and miffed. “Goodnight.” She planted a very suggestive kiss on his lips. He kissed her back, but the distance was still there. Justine sighed as she left the room.
Daniel listened as Justine climbed the stairs. His body was riddled with tension, his stomach in knots. He knew better than to let her get to him, particularly when she was on a rant, but he couldn’t help it, her words had stung. He rubbed his forehead, kneading his eyes with the balls of his hands then raking his fingers through his hair.
Platters, bowls and dirty dishes covered the counter. He thought about cleaning up, but decided against it. Let Justine do some of the work—it was her party.
The chocolate was still in the fondue pot. Can you leave chocolate in a metal pot? Not wanting to take any chances, he scraped it into a blue Corning ware bowl then opened the fridge. The sight o
f the leftover smoked meats made him smile.
He glanced out the window toward Marienne’s house. Her kitchen light was on, making him wondered if she was awake. Before he put the fondue pot in the sink, he gave the spoon a lick. The chocolate liquefied on his tongue, its sweetness counteracting the bitter taste that had been rising in his throat.
He headed off to check his emails. Without even bothering to switch on his lamp, he pressed the power button and waited as the soft glow of the monitor filled the room. He slumped in his chair and watched the count rise while his messages downloaded. Scanning the list of unread email, he saw one from Marienne. A rush of curiosity made him forget his dark mood.
Hi Daniel,
I wanted to check and see how the party was. I hope your guests liked everything and Justine was happy. You did an awesome job! Thanks for coming with me to Dean and DeLuca, and loaning me clothes, and driving me home…I thought I was supposed to be the one helping you, not the other way around…. Hope you’re less stressed now that it’s over, but if you’re not have some chocolate fondue, I promise it will help. Trust me. ;)
Talk soon,
M
He read the email a half dozen times.
He was so glad to hear from her it was ridiculous. It was only a paragraph, yet it made all the difference in the world to his mood. The fact that she’d taken the time to check and see how things had gone was sweet, the fact that she was thanking him, after all she’d done to help, was crazy, and the fact that she was telling him to have some chocolate was amusing, particularly considering the fact that he’d just had some. He started reading it again, then a small window popped up on the top of his screen.
“You have a friend request from [email protected] do you accept?”
He grinned and clicked ‘yes’. The IM list appeared on the left side of his screen. Sure enough ArtCGirl was lit up. Marienne was online. He clicked on her name, and typed into the window.
D: Are you here?
M: Yes.
D: I thought you hated the idea of instant messaging.
M: I do. Or rather I did.
D: What changed?
M: I wanted to know how tonight went and I didn’t feel like waiting to find out, plus I had a feeling you might be online. Pregnancy doesn’t exactly increase patience levels.
D: LOL
M: Seriously. And it’s not funny.
D: It’s a little funny.
M: :P
D: Wow, you learn fast!
M: Well, not that fast. I confess. I got the account 2 weeks ago.
D: Two weeks ago? I’m shocked. Devastated.
M: Don’t forget melodramatic.
D: That too.
M: I would have mentioned it, but I know you use yours mainly for work and I didn’t want to bother you.
D: You never bother me.
M: I guess I’ll have to try harder. J
D: Give it your best shot. J
M: Soooo??? How did it go?? Was Justine happy? Did your guests like the food? Did you require chocolate therapy?
D: It went well. The guests loved the food. And I only required minimal chocolate treatment.
M: Minimal chocolate treatment?
D: Yes, it involved a spoon and some licking. I’m feeling much better now.
M: LOL
D: You asked.
M: You didn’t mention Justine. Was she pleased with everything?
D: Everything but me, yes.
M: ?
D: She was very happy with the food and the fact that her guests were impressed. I was the only disappointment of the evening, but that’s not something that can be fixed by food. Not even chocolate.
M: Are you OK?
D: I’m fine.
M: You don’t sound fine.
D: I’m fine now.
M: You sure?
D: You’re sweet to ask, but yes, I’m sure.
M: I’m not sweet, I’m nosy.
D: You’re not nosy, I’m the one who brought it up.
M: You’re right, you are, so why don’t you explain it better. What happened? (And now I’m officially being nosy, but we’re going to ignore that.)
D: It’s no big deal. Justine was stressed and cranky and I was here, so she took it out on me. That’s what husbands are for, right?
M: That’s not what it said in my instruction manual, but if you say so.
D: Frank came with a manual? That’s convenient. Was there a warranty as well?
M: LOL I wish. But no.
D: Well, if I had a warranty I guess it expired.
M: Seriously, are you OK?
D: Seriously, I’m fine.
M: Why are you online so late anyway?
D: I’m often online this late. You’d know that if you’d told me that you had gotten an IM account.
M: True.
D: Why are you online so late?
M: You know I’m always up late. My friend Darla is the one who got me started on IMing, and she lives in Arizona, so with the time change I’ve been talking to her at night.
D: Remind me to thank Darla if I ever meet her.
M: She’d like that. She loves to take credit for modernizing me. She has always complained that I’m too old-fashioned.
D: I disagree. You’re neither too old-fashioned nor in need of modernizing.
M: Now who’s being sweet?
D: I’m not sweet. I’m just right all the time. Big difference.
M: LOL
D: That’s not funny.
M: ROFL
D: You know an awful lot of abbreviations for someone so new to IMing.
M: It’s an illusion, those are the only two I know.
D: Oh. In that case I’ll have to teach you some new ones.
M: Well, I know I couldn’t ask for a better teacher.
D: Brownnosing already?
M: Me? I would NEVER do that.
D: My eyebrow is raised, you just can’t tell.
M: Oh, I could tell.
D: LOL
M: So, teach me one, then I have to go to bed. Sleepy hormones are kicking in.
D: OK, I’ll teach you an important one.
M: Ready and waiting.
D: TTYS
M: Totally Tired Yawning Sleepily?
D: Clever, but no.
M: Tongue Tied Yellow Sheep?
D: You really are tired.
M: I told you!
D: Talk To You Soon
M: That makes far more sense than my guesses.
D: Little bit, yes.
M: Thanks for the IM lesson.
D: My pleasure.
M: Sorry you had a night that required chocolate intervention.
D: Thanks for making sure there was chocolate on hand.
M: Anytime.
D: Good night ArtCGirl. TTYS
M: TTYS (I think I’m going to do well in this class.)
D: I think you are too. Now go to bed.
M: You this bossy with all your students?
D: No, just my favorites.
M: Teacher’s pet. I like it.
D: Good night Marienne.
M: Good night Daniel.
The light next to her name went out. Daniel continued to stare at the screen, scrolling back and rereading their conversation. You need some serious sleep. He logged off and shut down his computer.
Images of Marienne flashed through his mind, but were eclipsed by the sound of Justine’s words. His stomach tensed. Does Justine really disapprove of me that much? Am I a total and complete disappointment to her? He hoped the answers were no, but a voice in his head told him they were both yes. He knew she wasn’t pleased with him. He didn’t want to let her down, but he was angry that she couldn’t accept him for who he was.
He yawned and sighed as he walked up the stairs to bed. He wasn’t going to figure it all out tonight, but he hoped he would figure it out some day. The sooner the better.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Daniel emerged from the bathroom, fully clothed, cu
ffing the sleeve of his shirt. Justine was sitting up in bed, a confused look on her face.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Getting dressed.” He sat on the edge of the bed and began to put on his socks.
Justine slid over, running her hand down his back. She hooked her thumb through one of his belt loops and attempted to pull him closer. “Come back to bed.” She purred, rubbing her head against his shoulder.
“I don’t want to come back to bed,” he said. “I want to go to Home Depot. The rain stopped, and I want to fix the leak on the porch roof.” He stretched a sock between his hands and pulled it onto his foot.
“Please.” She snaked her arm around him. “Come on.”
“Look,” he said. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work this time. We still need to talk about last night, and unless you want to do that, I’m going to the store. Sex is not the answer to this problem.”
He could tell that Justine was shocked. He was too. He’d never turned down makeup sex, but he wasn’t in the mood.
“Okay,” she said, her hands dropping off him. “Let’s talk.”
Daniel took a deep breath. “I know you don’t understand a lot of the choices I’ve made with my life.”
Justine snorted.
“Please don’t,” he said. “Let me say this.”
She stayed quiet.
“I also know you were hoping I’d pursue a more glamorous line of work, though honestly I don’t know why. You’ve always known that glamour is not something I want. I’ve hardly made a secret of that.”
She shrugged, but nodded, still silent.
“What you don’t seem to understand, at all, is that I chose teaching on purpose. I actually enjoy it. Sure it’s repetitive at times, and aspects of it can be boring, and sometimes it’s a thankless job. I’m aware of all of that, but those aren’t the reasons I do it. I do it because it means something to me.”
Daniel shifted toward her, still keeping a distance, but facing her. A part of him wanted to stop talking and just have sex, but he couldn’t. He needed her to hear him.
“A lot of kids grow up without someone who believes in them, without anyone there to encourage them to think for themselves, or go after what they want in life.”
He knew Justine understood what that was like, and she looked sad. Seeing that he’d gotten to her, he continued.
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