"No, the problem is my mom. She's all I ever had, you see. I grew up poor, and after my dad died it was just the two of us, taking care of each other in our shitty little apartment. There was never enough food on the table, but there was always more on my plate than hers. She went hungry so I didn't have to. She saved every penny to pay for tutoring, and stitched up the holes in her own clothes so I could dress nice for school."
Sophia could feel the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "She sacrificed everything to make sure I was happy. Everything. Since I was a little girl I don't remember her ever doing a single thing just to make herself happy. It was all for me, 24 hours a day for 18 years And now something really great is finally happening for her. She's happy for the first time in her life. She doesn't have to sacrifice for me any more. She can just be happy."
Sophia lifted the sunglasses and wiped a tear from her eye. "So how can I get in the way of that? After 18 years of giving up everything for me, being the best mom any girl could hope for, how could I turn around and ruin the one good thing that's happened in her whole life? How could I be that selfish? How could I even think about stealing it away from her?"
Sara stared at her for a long moment, deep in thought. Finally she reached out, took Sophia's hand and smiled. "She sounds pretty amazing, your mom. You're lucky to have someone who loves you so much. But have you ever wondered how she'd feel if she knew you were in this much pain? It sounds to me like she's spent her life trying to make sure there's no sadness in yours. It sounds like, if you gave her the choice between things being a little weird and you being miserable and alone, she'd choose the weirdness every time."
Sara threw her hands up. "I mean, that's just how it looks to me, but what do I know? All I'll say is that you could look for the rest of your life, but you'll never find any guy as good as Ryan. He's been madly in love with you since the moment he first saw you, and I can see in your eyes you feel the same way. I don't know, I just think it doesn't make any sense to give that up without a fight."
Sophia nodded, and looked out the window at the street rolling slowly by. "Yeah. I know what you mean."
*
Her mom was waiting at the door when the cab rolled up to the house, wearing a worried expression. Sophia hugged Sara, handed the driver a handful of dollar bills and climbed out on shaky, hungover legs.
"I've been worried sick, Sophia! I didn't sleep a wink last night!"
Sophia cringed. It hadn't even occurred to her that her mom didn't known where she was, and it just now dawned on her that she didn't have her phone. She couldn't remember exactly what had happened to it, but she vaguely remembered it falling from her hand at the bar.
"I am so sorry," Sophia said as she hurried up the stoop to hug Isabel. "I completely forgot to call."
"Yes, your brother already apologized for that. I just can't believe neither of you bothered to tell me you were staying over at Sara's. I was calling your phone every ten minutes all night."
"I'm sorry, mom. I think I lost my phone, and I was so sleepy I just passed out at 11." Sophia prayed that that explanation fit with whatever Ryan had told Isabel.
Her mom relaxed, and finally let her go. "I forgive you, honey. Just don't put me through that again. I was scared stiff. Now come inside and eat something. You're skin and bone."
Sophia smiled and followed her mom through to the kitchen. She really could use a little food. She hadn't realized it, but it must have been more than a day since she'd eaten anything apart from a bowl of stale nuts at the bar. The gnawing pit in her stomach had dealt with any appetite she might have had, but now that hunger was coming back with a vengeance.
"Here, try this," her mom said, pulling a plate of what looked like honey roast ham from the fridge. "Jack picked this up from that cute little deli at the bottom of the street. It's to die for. Just melts in your mouth." She poured herself a cup of tea and watched happily as Sophia dug in.
God, she's right, Sophia thought as she chewed on a slice. She nodded her approval, mouth full, as she shoveled slice after slice of the succulent meat into her mouth.
"It's good, right?"
"Uh huh," Sophia muttered with a full mouth. She could feel her hangover ebb away with each bite, and the energy flow back into her body. If nobody stopped her she'd finish the whole plate.
Isabel sat down at the table across from Sophia, and dared to risk having her hand bitten off by reaching for a slice of meat. "It's good to see you with an appetite, honey. You've been so quiet and withdrawn since we moved. You've lost weight, too, and not in a good way."
Sophia stopped chewing. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean I've been worried about you. You know, locked away in your room all day, skipping meals. You look exhausted and gaunt. I was a little worried you might have an eating disorder or something."
"Uh uh, mom. Don't worry about me. I've just been a little stressed, is all."
"Boy trouble?" Isabel dropped it in casually.
Huh? Her mom had never once in 18 years suggested anything like that. She knew Sophia was a wallflower. She'd never so much as been on a real date, and she knew her mom knew she was still a virgin. Well, until about 24 hours ago, that is. Wait. Does it even count if you don't get to finish?
She could feel her face burn red. She'd always been able to talk about any subject with her mom, but this was new, uncomfortable territory. "Ummm... well, there is one boy I like, but it's not gonna work out."
"Why not?" Isabel looked like she was trying her hardest to act casual.
Damn, we're getting into dangerous territory here.
"I don't know, it's just... complicated, you know? Too complicated." She really wanted the questions to stop, but it was obvious Isabel was just getting started.
"Do you love him?"
The question came out of the blue. Sophia had expected to be tossed a couple of softballs, but this was fired straight at her head so fast it left a burning trail behind it. She just opened and closed her mouth, unable to think of the right thing to say. She wanted to yell it out. Of course I love him! I'm head over heels in love with him! I want to squeeze him so tight we become the same fucking person!
"Ummm," she mumbled, where real words should have come out.
Isabel nodded and smiled as she sipped her tea. "You love him. I can see it clear as day." She saw Sophia's reaction. "Don't look so shocked, honey. A mom always knows when her daughter's in love. So, what's the problem?" she asked as she lowered the cup to the table. She looked like she was enjoying this torture.
"Mom, do we have to talk about this?" Isabel just looked at her and smiled. She knew she wouldn't get off the hook that easily. "Look, you wouldn't approve of him, OK? You'd be horrified if we dated."
Isabel took another sip of her tea, smacked her lips, and slowly set the mug down on the table. "You know, your grandmother didn't approve of your father when we started dating. She hated him, actually, from the first moment she laid eyes on him. Oh, I knew better, of course. I was much more hot-headed than you ever were, and I just knew we were supposed to be together. Even when she forbade me from seeing him, I'd just sneak out the window in the middle of the night, climb down the fire escape and meet him in the park."
Sophia avoided meeting her mom's eyes. She just wanted this conversation to be over so much she could taste it.
"Of course she was right, in the end. As soon as she met him she knew he was no good, but I was just a kid. I didn't see what kind of man he'd turn out to be. That's the thing about growing older, you know. Once you've made those mistakes once they're easier to avoid the next time around. You learn how to judge people better. You learn how to spot the good ones."
Why is she telling me this?
Isabel stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter, where she picked up a brown paper grocery sack. "Jack took Ryan to Newark about an hour ago," she said, sitting back down at the table. "He seemed in a big hurry to get to out to South Bend."
Sophia just stared at her
mom. There was a ringing in her ears, and she suddenly felt numb. She had no idea Ryan had planned to leave today. She thought she might still have had the chance to see him again, and somehow convince him to stay, but now it felt like someone had cut out her heart with an ice cream scoop. She couldn't breathe.
"Before he left he asked me to give you this," Isabel said, reaching into the bag. She pulled out a red and cream jacket. Gold lettering was sewn into the left breast: MA.
It was the letter jacket he'd worn to Mitford every day of his senior year. It was his most prized possession.
Isabel handed Sophia the jacket with a smile. "A mother always knows, honey." She sat down and picked up her tea. "You love him, don't you?"
Sophia couldn't speak. She just nodded, her eyes welling with tears as she caressed the lettering in the jacket.
"And he loves you?"
Sophia nodded again.
"Then you should be with him, honey. He's one of the good ones. Trust me. A mother can always tell."
Sophia didn't know what to say. She hadn't dared hope her mom might understand. "You... you don't mind?"
Isabel sighed. "Well, I wouldn't call it ideal, and there's going to be an awkward conversation with Ryan's father, but I'll be damned if I watch my little girl be kept from the man she loves just because the idea makes me uncomfortable."
Sophia sprang from her seat and almost climbed across the table in her rush to hug her mom. She wrapped her arms around her, clutching the letter jacket tightly, as if Ryan would be lost forever if she were to let it slip from her fingers.
"Thank you, mom," she whispered, her voice catching in her throat. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, honey. More than anything in the world." She pulled away. "You should give Ryan a call. Tell him not to get on the flight. Here," she reached into her pocket for a cell phone, "use this."
Sophia scrolled through to Ryan's name, struggling to read the screen through her tears, and held the phone to her ear as it started to ring. "This doesn't feel real," she said, with a genuine smile of joy on her lips for the first time since she could remember.
The phone rang. Five, ten times the tone chirped without answer.
And then she heard it.
The answering ring, muffled through the ceiling.
Ryan's cell phone was still on the floor of her room, where Ryan had dropped it the previous morning.
"Oh God," she cried, hanging up. "He doesn't have his phone." She scrolled through the contact list again, looking for another number. "What do you have Jack's phone saved as?"
Isabel shook her head. "Honey, that is Jack's phone."
Sophia felt the bottom fall out of her world. There was no way to reach Ryan, and he'd surely be about to get on his flight. She couldn't bear the idea of him sitting on that plane, alone, moving further away from her with each passing moment.
"It's OK, it's no problem. Here," again her mom reached into her pocket. "Take my card to pay for a cab. If you hurry you might be able to catch him before he boards. Take the phone, too. I'll send you the flight details. Go!"
Isabel's order shocked Sophia into action. She gave her mom a quick hug before running for the door, tugging Ryan's jacket on as she reached it. In an instant she was at the street and almost ran into the road to stop a passing cab.
Isabel waved from the stoop as she pulled away. "Newark Airport!" she yelled to the driver. "And step on it!" she knew it wouldn't make a difference, but she'd always wanted to say that.
She didn't dare hope. She didn't dare dream.
She might just make it in time.
*
The cab sped through the Holland Tunnel, mercifully free of New Jersey-bound traffic at this time on a Friday evening. The driver was nearing the speed limit, but still it felt as if the car was moving at a crawl. Sophia clung to the arms of Ryan's jacket, her fingers digging into the fabric as her right foot pressed down on an invisible gas pedal, urging the car to pick up just a little more speed.
"I said, are you going on vacation?"
Sophia realized the driver had been speaking. "Huh? Oh, the airport. No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm trying to get there in time to stop a guy I love from getting on a flight."
The driver snorted and met her eyes on the rear view mirror. "Seriously? Don't you think that's a bit of a cliche?"
"Huh?"
"Come on... the last minute rush to the airport? You get to the gate just as he's boarding the flight? Yell across the crowd? Kiss him and everyone starts clapping? I don't know, just sounds a little predictable to me. All you need is a little rain and you've got the cover of a Nicholas Sparks novel, know what I mean?"
Sophia was about to slap the back of his head when she saw he was grinning ear to ear. "Nah, I'm just teasing," he laughed. "You know, I've been driving this route every day for fifteen years, and this is the first time I've actually seen someone do this in real life. See it in the movies all the time."
Sophia laughed. "Yeah, I guess most people--"
"Hang on, hang on," he cut her off. "I gotta call the wife. She just loves shit like this." He slipped a Bluetooth earpiece into his ear and tapped the phone mounted on the dash.
"Honey, you'll never believe it!" His voice suddenly boomed as if he was yelling to his wife on the other side of the highway. "I got a girl in the car who's actually running to Newark airport to stop her boyfriend getting on a flight." There was a moment of silence. "Yeah, yeah, just like Ross and Rachel." He half turned in his seat and muttered to Sophia, "She's crazy for Friends." Another few beats of silence as the woman spoke into his ear. "Yeah, she's here now. We're about 10 minutes from the airport... OK, OK, gimme a second."
The driver turned his head to Sophia. "Hang on, doll, the ball and chain wants to speak to you." He pulled out the earpiece and tapped the screen of the phone. "OK, Pam, she can hear you."
"Hiiiii, honey." The tinny voice of the woman had a nasal New Jersey accent, and she sounded like she was chewing gum. "Oh, this is so exciting! You know, I was just talking to Ron about this the other day - that's my husband, Ron --"
The driver held up his hand. "Guilty as charged."
"Shush, honey, I'm talking to the girl. Anyway, I was talking to Ron and he said this is just one of those things from the movies. I told him - didn't I tell you, honey? - I told him I bet it happens all the time, but he's always too busy playing with the radio to really talk to his passengers. I knew it. I just knew it. Oh, darling, you must be so excited!"
Sophia felt like her hair was blown back by this force of nature of a woman. It was clear from Ron's silence that he was used to his wife being the talker of the family. "Oh, well... y'know, I guess it's exciting," she conceded. "I'm more worried than anything. I don't know if I'll catch him before the flight."
"Honey, I know exactly what you mean. You must be just a bag of nerves. Oh, but it's just so romaaantic!" She smacked her gum a few times. "Now honey, listen to me, I've seen every movie and show they ever made where this happens, so we gotta go through a checklist, OK?"
"Ummm, OK, I guess. Go for it."
"OK. First, he's definitely flying out of Newark, right? Not JFK or La Guardia? Ross made that mistake on Friends, you know."
Sophia glanced at the phone and saw her mom had sent her the fight details. "No, it's definitely Newark. EWR to South Bend, 7PM, terminal A, gate 26A."
"OK, check. That's your first hurdle. Now, do you have a ticket? They won't let you through security if you don't have a ticket."
Shit. I hadn't even thought of that. "No, I don't have a ticket."
"Don't worry, honey. You got a phone, right? Just go online and buy the cheapest one you can find right now." She addressed her husband. "Ron, does she have a phone? Give her your phone, Ron. Are you there? Ron!"
"She has a phone! For God's sake, Pam, settle down. I'm trying to drive here!"
"Don't you raise your voice to me, Ronald Carter! Oh honey, I hope your young man has better manners than the one I married. It
just never ends with this guy."
Ron shot back. "You're no prize yourself, Pam. Look at you, hassling the poor girl. She's probably nervous enough without you yammering away at her."
Sophia ignored the squabbling as she tapped through to Kayak. Ron and Pam traded barbed insults for what seemed like forever, and by the time they'd moved on to the way Pam burned Ron's bacon every morning she'd booked a 7:30 flight to Boston. "OK, Pam? I've got my ticket. Is there anything else I'm forgetting?"
"Nothing much, honey. Just remember to be nice and polite to security. The last thing you want to do is look like you're nervous, or you'll find yourself getting strip searched in a little room while your young man boards his flight. Now honey, tell me about him. How long have you been dating? What's he like? How come you had to leave it to the last minute?"
Stepbrother Forbidden (Stepbrother, Where Art Thou? Book 2) Page 4