Wow, what an odd conversation to be having with oneself. These aren't thoughts I would be thinking in a normal relationship. If any other boyfriend had slept with someone else, and gotten a blow job from a different someone else, we would be over. Game, set, match.
Then there was that. He isn't technically my boyfriend right now, and he wasn't on the night of his blow job. A technicality, sure, but it was a technicality I had insisted on. Caleb doesn't seem to want to end our relationship, and is willing to not go back to any of those clubs. He didn't go last Friday, he was busy playing with me and my toys. He didn't seem to miss it that night.
Ah yes, but that night included a text from Laura. What the hell is that about? Is he really a naive nice guy, trying to give advice to Laura? I know she is playing a game. She wants Caleb, no doubt about that. But is he as innocent as he claims to be?
These swirling questions and doubt were giving me a headache. I didn't seem to be getting any farther with a rational examination than I had gotten with an emotional reaction.
I got out of the car at my next stop, and knocked on the door. As I waited for someone to answer, I flipped through the papers. Shit, divorce papers. I hated those, they were so unpredictable. Most of the other papers I delivered I was pretty sure they knew they were coming. Delivering child support hearing dates were easy, both sides knew they were coming, and with two deliveries I got paid twice as much. The same with debt. When I delivered debt papers most people said, "Finally, my lawyer told me to expect these." Same with car accidents or dog bites. Everyone knows those can come with paperwork, but divorces can go either way.
People don't always know divorce papers are coming. Most do, but sometimes my delivery is a total shock. "What? I thought she was just staying at her sister's to help with the new baby. She's not coming back? She wants a divorce?"
When the door opened I was on my guard. "Hi, delivery for..." I looked down at the cover sheet. "David Thompson." I looked up at the guy who opened the door. He was kind of hot. That threw me a bit. Most people are pretty average looking, to put it nicely. Knocking on doors was a lot like hanging out in a Wal-Mart. Walking around a Wal-Mart gives you a decent cross section of the average people in an area, and most people are just... average. You forget what they look like ten minutes after you walk away.
Knocking on their doors you see people in their own environment. People are comfortable. They wear slippers, haven't brushed their hair. They answer their door in all manners of undress. I've had naked women accept their papers dripping from the shower, peeking around the door. I had one guy answer in nothing but a bathrobe. His hands were full, and when he tried to take the papers, his robe came untied. I kept a straight face and looked him in the eyes the whole time he scrambled to re-tie himself.
So when you get a good-looking one, it's kind of a surprise. He said, "David? He doesn't live here. What kind of delivery is it?"
"Do you know him, sir? If I leave you a delivery slip could you pass it on and have him call me? Or should I send it back as a bad address?"
"Oh, wait. Are these his divorce papers? I'm his brother. He wasn't supposed to be served with papers, they signed something saying service wasn't necessary. It is a mutual divorce, they were in Vegas and got drunk. It's kind of a Britney Spears quick marriage thing. That's what this is, right? Divorce papers?"
Oh good, this isn't a total surprise, and this guy seems really open and casual about the whole thing. I dropped my guard a bit. "Yes, sir. Do you know how I can get in touch with him?"
"Yeah, yeah, hang on. I'll call him, but only if you stop calling me sir."
He dialed the phone and said, "Hey David, ya dumb-ass, there is a lady here looking for you. She's cute too. How did you get so lucky? No, I'm not kidding. Seriously, she is here to serve you with your divorce papers. I thought you said you guys waived your right to service or something."
After some more brotherly harassment, I was handed the phone. David gave me his phone number, but not his new address. He said to give him a few days, so he could find out what went wrong. He said they really were not supposed to be served with the papers, but were supposed to be called when it was time to pick them up. He said if he didn't get them canceled in a few days I could call him, and he would then tell me where he lives now, or meet me somewhere, so I could bring them. He didn't want his new address getting on anything official if he could help it. I agreed to give him a few days and if the papers were not canceled, I would call him.
When I gave the phone back, I heard, "Alright bro, I'll talk to you later." When he got off the phone he started telling me the whole story. His brother had lived here with him for a while, and still used this address sometimes for important documents. He offered me a beer, but I turned it down.
He was easy to talk to, and funny. I hadn't spent this long at someone's door in a long time, if ever. The fact that he was handsome and flirtatious didn't hurt. As I was leaving he asked me out. I turned him down automatically. I appreciated being flirted with, but I wasn't looking to date. I enjoyed him very much though, so I pleaded a conflict of interest.
"I can't go out with you. I'm serving your brother with legal papers. I have to be a disinterested third party. Thank you for asking, you seem like a really cool guy. If we hadn't met under these circumstances. Plus, I'm kind of seeing someone."
"Well, if you change your mind, the offer still stands. You can knock on my door any day."
I grinned up at him, and thanked him again. 'I think I'm blushing,' I thought as I got into my car and pulled away. That had been nice, I'd needed that. My spirits were boosted the rest of the day.
Chapter 45
Summer’s End
I had chosen to shave myself bare, and I was acutely aware of my bald self as I was led around the dance floor. It reminded me of the time Caleb held my panties in his pocket, and it was highly arousing. I hadn't seen Caleb yet tonight, but he should be here any minute.
When the dance was over I went by Lana's bar and got a drink. She had my credit card from last week and was going to add tonight's tab to the couple of drinks I had last week, before I was dragged off and tied up.
I saw Kate and Michael in the crowd and headed off to join them. After the hugs, Kate tentatively asked about Caleb. I hadn't seen Kate or Michael since the three of them left here for That Other Bar two weeks ago, so they were unsure of where we stood. So was I, but we were planning on talking it all out this weekend.
"He should be here soon," I told Kate in answer to her question.
"How is that going? Are you officially back together?"
"No, not officially." I answered. "We went home together last Friday, early actually. We left before we saw you guys, but I didn't spend the whole weekend. We are still trying to work things out. I'm still dealing with everything from his birthday. I know I told him to go, but the whole blow job thing still bugs me."
"He told you about that, huh? We wondered if he would." Michael spoke up. "That place was wild that night. Packed with new people. We hadn't ever seen those two ladies in there before. I'm not sure if they were sisters or friends, but they looked a lot alike. It was hard to tell them apart, but they took a liking to Caleb immediately. The three of them were inseparable all night. We weren't real surprised when they all headed into the back room. I am a bit surprised he told you though. Kate said he would, but I wasn't so sure."
My heart dropped into my stomach, and I took a stiff drink to buy myself a minute to hide my surprise. Caleb never mentioned two women. I tried to act as if this wasn't news to me. I knew if Michael even suspected that I hadn't already known, he would stop talking.
"Well, he didn't relish telling me. He didn't want to purposely hurt me, but he knew if we were going to be together, I needed to know. It was the first time for either of us to go without the other, and if we are going to have a relationship it is important to know if anyone has been with anyone else."
"Well, I don't think he actually did either of them. Caleb mentioned after the girls l
eft that having two mouths on him was so different and exciting that he came before he could fuck them. He said he came so fast it surprised him, so he had to finish them off the same way, with his mouth."
"Yeah," I agreed with Michael to keep the information coming. "He did say he didn't have actual sex with anyone, just the oral."
"I can understand why you are struggling with everything," Kate said. "I know he was there to play, I get that. What surprised me the most though was when they all exchanged phone numbers. I didn't think you guys did anything outside of the clubs. Especially since you are thinking of never going back."
"Yeah, that part surprised me too." I answered. More than you even know, I thought. Wow. According to Caleb he had gotten a blow job. I guess that was technically correct, but he had neglected to mention it was from two women, and that he returned the favor. He completely left out the part about getting their phone numbers, and about intending to fuck them but finishing before he could.
I was surprised by my own calmness. I didn't feel any rage. I didn't feel any tears threatening to pour forth. All I felt was a quiet certainty. Up until now I had been torn. Emotionally and rationally. Was all of this just the mess anyone who gets into these clubs has to face? Was it fair to introduce him to this life and then stop it? Was Caleb really so naive that he didn't know why Laura was calling? I guess I could ask myself if Caleb only exchanged phone numbers to be polite, and then deleted them. Or maybe he kept them, only to be able to see who was calling him, and planning to ignore their calls.
I could already mentally hear Caleb using both of those excuses, but I knew better. Deep in my heart, I knew better.
Caleb liked the game too much. He liked the clubs, he liked the ladies. The only reason Caleb would exchange phone numbers with these ladies, and with Laura, was to use those numbers. I also knew in my heart he liked me too, maybe even loved me, but not enough. Not the way I wanted, needed, him to love me. I felt something deep inside me unplug. I took a deep, cleansing breath and let it out slowly.
Caleb chose that moment to join our group. "Hi there, we were just talking about you." I said, to eliminate any awkward silence that was about to become very obvious when we went completely quiet at his arrival.
"Oh yeah? Saying anything good?"
"No not really. We were finishing our discussion about your birthday party."
Caleb choked on his drink, turning a deep, dark red. After he finished coughing, I asked if he was OK. "I don't know," he said, looking at me piercingly. "Am I?"
I just smiled calmly up at him and shrugged. Michael and Kate headed off to dance, and Caleb eyed me warily. I didn't say anything, I was enjoying his discomfort. He kept looking at me like I was going to stab him in the eyes with my cocktail straw. Or maybe suddenly break down in tears. I figured I would break down, later on in private, but for now I was eerily calm. I think it was freaking Caleb out.
He finally said, "Look, I can explain. I didn't give you all the details because I didn't want to hurt you any more than I had to. They didn't mean anything to me, you know that."
"You don't have to explain anything." I said. "We were not together then. We are not together now."
"Shit. I don't think I like you this way, all calm and detached. Get angry, yell at me."
"I'm not going to yell at you, Caleb. I'm not the yelling type."
Caleb looked me in the eyes for a long time, searching. I let him, unresisting. I used the time to search inside myself as well.
"I've lost you haven't I?" Caleb asked finally.
"Yeah, Caleb. You have. I can almost understand you not mentioning there were two women. I get that. You started to tell me what happened, you mentioned a blow job, and I hung up. I even understand you sticking with the facts, saying there was no sex, leaving out the part that you meant to have sex, but you finished too soon. On some weird, rational level, I understand you sticking to facts, to protect my feelings. What I cannot get past is that you omitted a large fact. A very large fact. You let what happened in there leave that room with you.
When you gave them your phone number, and when you took their numbers in return. When you didn't mention, for two whole weeks now, that you have been talking not only to Laura, but to those two women. You have been talking to them, I assume?"
He opened his mouth to deny it, or to explain, but he closed it again and just gave his head one quick nod.
"You let it get personal, and you hid that from me. That changes everything. Up until that, everything has been honest. It has been a struggle, but it has been an honest struggle, and we have been in it together. Not anymore. Up until tonight, through everything, I have trusted you. I don't trust you anymore, and that changes everything."
"Come home with me." Caleb said. "Let's talk this out. Not like last time, when we meant to talk and ended up in bed. I meant to tell you everything then, but the thought of you using those toys with anyone but me, even just by yourself, distracted me. I couldn't stand the thought. Then you left. I was planning on telling you everything this weekend. Let's go. Right now. Have some wine, sit on the back patio, and talk it all out. We can start over."
"It's too late Caleb. Don't you see that? Trust can't be started over. Trust is either there or it isn't, and you broke that."
"You can't be done. We have been through too much. You can't just walk away now. You still care about me. You still love me, I know it."
"That's true. I do, but when you broke my trust, Caleb you broke everything. You know how you have often told me how much you like and admire that I jump in with both feet? That I am all in, whatever the situation?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Well, that works in reverse for me as well. I'm either all in, giving everything I've got, or I'm all out. There is no in between with me Caleb. Something disconnected in me when I found out that you have all these phone numbers. You broke something in me that will never be fixed. You are right. I do still care about you. You will take a long time for me to get over. But I will get over you. It will be hard to see you here on Friday nights, but I will survive. I will dance with you, and be friendly. I'm not planning on being a bitch about the whole thing, but I am done."
I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed Caleb quietly on the mouth. "Goodbye Caleb. There will never be anyone else like you." And I walked away from him.
I thought about staying, proving some kind of point by dancing and trying to have fun, but I just wanted to go home. I closed my tab with Lana and left the bar. I knew I would break down and mourn Caleb and the what-could-have-beens of this relationship, but not right now. Right now I was calm. I had gotten the answers I needed from Caleb. He wasn't the one for me. I needed something more normal. I needed someone who thought the world revolved around me and his life would not be complete if I wasn't central in it.
I briefly thought about the serve guy's brother who had asked me out. I received an email earlier today canceling that delivery. His brother was right, he was not supposed to be served. I could go back by there, take him up on his offer of a date. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I discarded the thought almost as quickly as I picked it up. I wasn't ready. I needed to be by myself for a while, like I planned to before Caleb crashed into my life. No, I would call the brother in the morning and let him know it was canceled and that I didn't need to meet with him after all.
I thought about next weekend. About coming here and trying to dance and visit with Caleb around. It would be painful at first, but I knew I would be fine. I realized that next weekend was Labor Day weekend. The official end to summer. It had been one hell of a summer, that was for sure. One I was not likely to ever forget.
* * * *
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Hang on, the story doesn't end there. Keep reading for the sample chapter from Two Player Games (Corrupted 5-8)
* * * * *
Chapter 1
When Worlds Coll
ide
It had been more than a year and a half since I last walked into this bar with a date, and I was nervous as hell. I liked Roger. I mean really liked him. We'd had a few dates, but this was my first time introducing him to my bar. And by my bar, I meant Caleb. My two worlds were about to collide, and I could only hold my breath and hope the results wouldn't be disastrous.
You see, Caleb was my ex. I ended our wild, erotic, roller-coaster of a relationship inside this bar the night I found out what really happened at his birthday party. The birthday party I hadn't gone to, because I was in love with him.
It was a long story, but the short version was that girl meets boy, girl decides the relationship is going nowhere, so girl invites boy to try a swinger's club with her. Brilliant move I know, but I had been painfully curious to see what went on in there. My friends went all the time, and after hearing their stories I wanted to see for myself.
I figured who better to play with than someone you didn't care about. That way he could be my bodyguard slash playmate, but if things happened, well… then no one's feelings get hurt. One visit led to another, and soon I realized that protecting my heart hadn't worked at all and I was in love with him.
Once I realized I was in love with him, I didn't want to go to those bars with him anymore. I was ready to settle down, get married, have two point five kids and a dog and leave the wild party scene behind. Actually, if I was being honest with myself, I liked that scene too. If we had gone slow, dipping our toes in and staying at a comfortable depth, I don't think we would have had a problem continuing.
But we didn't. We jumped into the deep end with our eyes shut, and to carry the water metaphor to its end- I started drowning and Caleb was a natural swimmer. He liked it. A lot. He liked the ladies, he liked the fantasy, and he had no interest in settling down. Ever. Kids and a white picket fence were not in his future.
Over the past many months, Caleb and I have found a way to co-exist in this bar. Actually, we do better than to just co-exist. We are friends. He is still hot, and I still get flashbacks of our times together, but we have evolved into a very comfortable, flirtatious, harassment-filled friendship. He hints all the time that if I ever want him back, all I have to do is ask. OK, maybe he isn't quite that subtle about it. Usually he says something like, "You and I were good together, amazingly good. How about we blow this place off, you come home with me, and I remind you of each and every way we were good together?"
One Swinging Summer: (Corrupted 1-4) Page 28