by Anna Bell
‘I just want to make sure we get on. I’m sure there’ll be a queue and I want to get good seats.’
We walk on board after getting our tickets signed and it’s practically empty. We go over to take some seats inside near the front.
‘Ha, look, great seats,’ I say starting to relax. I’m sure by the time we’re back on dry land Ross will have finished on Warrior. He never used to spend the whole day here, so hopefully he and Jules have only popped in for a little bit.
Danny goes back to telling me the story about his school trip and I try and laugh in the appropriate places. It’s hard, though, as I can’t help thinking about Ross. I was going to wait to tell him about Danny until I saw him at our Tuesday-night pub quiz, but really I should have made an effort to tell him earlier. I’ve already told Lucy and Caroline, effectively half of our social group.
‘Everything OK?’ asks Danny. ‘You’re not suddenly remembering that you’re actually scared of boats, are you? Am I going to lose feeling in my hands again like I did on the plane?’
‘Ha ha, no. I don’t mind boats quite as much as planes. But really, when you think about it, boats are probably more dangerous, aren’t they? There’s probably more that could go wrong. We could bump into one of the ferries or it could get overcrowded and sink. Or we could hit something and puncture a hole and take on water. And what if there aren’t enough lifeboats and we have to jump overboard? Then we’ll be in the freezing sea and the lifeboats won’t come and save us and . . .’
‘Um, are you just telling me the plot of Titanic? I think we’re going to be OK. We’re right next to shore in a small boat and,’ says Danny, looking around at the people coming in, ‘whilst it’s getting busy I don’t think there’s any issue with overcrowding.’
I nod. I wish we’d never started this conversation.
‘You know, when I was working in Asia, I went on holiday to Bali and you should see how they overcrowd the boats there. It felt like we were skimming the bottom of the river as we went along.’
‘Not helping,’ I say, looking around at everyone coming aboard and wondering how many people is too many. It’s then that I hear Jules’s tinkling laugh and I turn and spot her walking on holding Ross’s hand.
My heart sinks.
‘You know,’ I say, wondering if we could somehow sneak off without them seeing us, ‘I think it might help me if we got some fresh air. Why don’t we go onto the top deck? It would make me less nervous. I’d feel less trapped.’
Danny gives me a WTF look. ‘Are you sure, don’t you think it’ll be a bit windy?’
‘No, I reckon we’ll be fine.’
I tuck my hair into my scarf and hurry up the stairs just in front of us.
‘See, this is great,’ I say, trying not to recoil at the biting wind as I slide open the door.
‘Yeah, that rain cloud looks especially enticing.’
‘Hush now, I’m sure it won’t come to anything.’
It’s one of those deep dark clouds that will almost certainly turn to rain. I just hope that the tour isn’t that long and it holds off.
Danny’s phone beeps and he pulls it out of his pocket. He swipes around and taps out a reply.
I try to pretend I’m not desperate to know who it is.
‘Just Victoria,’ says Danny as he puts his phone back in his coat pocket.
‘Again?’ I mutter under my breath, wondering what part of her complicated problem this is about. She texted a few times last night and they’ve already had a text conversation this morning.
The boat jolts and starts to move and the commentary begins. The tour guide is pointing out the different things we can see as we move around the harbour. I’m sure what he’s saying is fascinating but I don’t really hear a word of it as I’m too busy wondering how we’re going to get back onto dry land without Ross and Jules seeing us.
Danny’s marvelling at an impressive-looking modern Navy ship when I feel a big splodge of rain hit my jeans. I look up at the cloud and see that it’s not alone.
‘Come on, let’s go downstairs,’ says Danny.
‘I think we’ll be OK,’ I say pulling up the hood on my jacket, which isn’t known for its waterproof qualities. ‘It’s just spitting.’
It’s as if the rain heard me and it starts to hammer down. I can hear the raindrops hitting the deck of the boat and there’s absolutely no way we can stay here any longer without getting soaked to the skin.
Danny grabs my hand and pulls me towards the stairs. We follow the exodus of the other brave, but stupid people who were outside.
I try to hang back behind the other people, but they soon thin out looking for seats.
‘Do you fancy something from the bar? Hot chocolate?’ asks Danny, as he shakes the water off his head like a shaggy dog.
‘That would be great, thanks.’
‘You go and see if you can get us some seats.’
I’m still hiding behind the last group from upstairs and when they start to move I move with them, panning to see if I can find Ross or Jules in order to avoid them.
‘Lydia,’ says Jules from behind me. ‘I thought that was you. I said to myself as you came down the stairs that looks like Lydia, and there, when you spun around, it was you. Are you OK? Did you have a nice Christmas? What are you doing here?’
She’s holding two hot drinks and she’s sneakily come from the bar, where I wasn’t looking.
‘I’m showing a friend the Dockyard,’ I say, choosing my words carefully. ‘He’s from out of town.’
‘Oh, lovely. I always do that when I’ve got visitors too. We’re just here playing tourists. Ross and I come here all the time, ever since we discovered on our first date we both loved it here. It’s like our special place. We’re going on the M-33 next; it’s one that I’ve not done before. It’s from the First World War. Should be so interesting. Have you been on it? Have you done the Victory yet? The Warrior? Where else have you been this morning?’
I’m blinking to keep up with her rapid talking, but also to keep an eye out to see where Ross is.
‘We’ve done Victory, then we’re going to do the Mary Rose after lunch.’
‘Oh, perfect. Are you sitting down? There’re some free seats next to us.’
‘Oh, no, I think we’ll probably stand.’
The boat jolts a little and I feel myself wobble and can’t help but cling onto a rail.
‘Come and sit with us,’ says Jules. ‘I’m sure Ross will be pleased to see you.’
Danny did want us to get a seat . . . Besides, the tour is going and no one – apart from me and Jules – is really talking. Everyone’s listening. Ross takes this stuff so seriously, so he won’t want to make idle chit chat. All I need to do is make him think that Danny and I are still only just friends until I can get him alone and tell him the truth.
I follow Jules over and sit down on the plastic chair next to her.
Ross leans forward and gives me a look. ‘Lydia, I didn’t expect to see you here,’ he says, raising an eyebrow.
‘Yes, well, just seeing the sights,’ I mumble. ‘Good Christmas?’
‘Yes, it was nice, thanks, and you?’
‘Uh-huh, it was fine,’ I say, glossing over the monumental life-changing decision I made.
‘Oh, Ross, look at that view,’ says Jules, as she points out of the window.
I breathe a sigh of relief but then Danny comes over and sits down, presenting me with my drink.
‘That should warm you up a little bit. And if it doesn’t . . .’ he says, playfully rubbing his hands on my thighs.
‘Ha ha,’ I say, trying to beat his hand away with the back of mine so that my engagement ring isn’t visible.
‘Ooh, hello,’ says Jules leaning over and waving at Danny. ‘I’m Jules, it’s lovely to meet you. Lydia says you’re from out of town. Are you enjoying your visit? I love it here at the Dockyard. It’s so interesting. Don’t you find it interesting?’
Danny’s mouth has flown
open. ‘Um, yes,’ he says, unsure which question he should be answering.
Ross snaps his head round and his eyes almost pop out of his head when he spots that Jules is talking to Danny.
‘Danny,’ says Ross holding his hand out awkwardly.
Danny looks equally surprised to see him, but he takes his hand and shakes it.
‘So, how do you two know each other?’ asks Jules.
‘Lydia and Danny have been old friends for years,’ says Ross.
‘Well, actually,’ pipes up Danny, but before he can finish a man leans forward from the row behind.
‘Excuse me, sorry to be rude, but do you mind talking when the tour’s over? I’m having trouble hearing.’
‘Of course, of course,’ we all mutter.
I try and distract myself by drinking the hot chocolate, only Danny puts his arm around me and I try and wriggle myself free a little. ‘I haven’t told Ross yet,’ I whisper. I can’t fail to miss the hurt look in his eye.
I turn my head to look at the thing the captain is referring to, and I see that Ross was watching us. He turns away and I feel awful. I wonder if he has already guessed. Kerry was right, I should have told him.
After twenty agonising minutes the tour eventually comes to an end.
‘Right, we’d better get going,’ I say, wondering if I can drag Danny away without the inevitable awkward conversation with Ross and Jules. I leap up, only to see that there’s a big slow-moving queue to get off the boat. We’re never going to be able to sneak off.
‘So how long are you down for, Danny?’ asks Ross.
‘Just until tomorrow night. Lydia’s doing her best to show me all the sights.’
‘Is she now? It’s funny, as I could never get her to come here with me.’
I slowly close my eyes. This is going to be every bit as awkward as I imagined it would be.
‘Well, I thought I couldn’t show Danny the city without bringing him here. Besides, I haven’t seen the new Mary Rose museum.’
‘I’ve got quite low expectations since I last saw the Mary Rose – it looked like a lump of wood being sprayed with oil.’
‘Oh, it’s not like that at all now. We went not so long ago, didn’t we, Ross? I found it fascinating. All those artefacts that they got from the wreck, too. Those weapons and the cutlery. And they had these tiny shoes. It was all amazing,’ says Jules. ‘You’re going to have such a super time. I’m almost tempted to tag along. It’s that good that you can see it again and again.’
I’m about to object when she carries on.
‘But I really want to concentrate on the more modern history today.’
‘Shame,’ I say, nodding in relief.
‘Of course the Mary Rose isn’t the best example of a warship raised from the seabed,’ says Ross, looking directly at Danny. ‘That’s arguably the Vasa.’
If we weren’t in front of Danny, I’d probably take the piss out of Ross for saying ‘arguably’ in a sentence, but seeing as things are already a bit awkward, I let it slide.
‘I’ve actually been there and it is pretty impressive. I was over for a conference in Stockholm for a few days.’
Ross’s nostrils actually start to flare. He’d suggested we go a few years back, but I’d put him off when I’d told him that we’d have to go to the ABBA museum.
‘Did you go to the ABBA museum, too?’ I say, hopefully.
‘I did, and I sang “Waterloo” in the studio karaoke bit.’
See – Meant. To. Be.
‘You know that always reminds me of the time I made you watch Muriel’s Wedding,’ I say.
‘Oh, don’t even go there. Those are two hours of my life I’m never getting back,’ he says, shaking his head.
‘I love Muriel’s Wedding,’ says Jules, clutching her hand to her chest. ‘It’s so funny, but at the same time it’s so gritty and raw. Those looks that the swimmer gives her, it’s all so heartbreaking. Don’t you think it’s so heartbreaking? I actually cried the first time I watched it.’
‘Did you cry, Danny?’ I ask, raising a cheeky eyebrow.
‘I think I cried in pain. It’s not really my cup of tea.’
We start to shuffle towards the door and I’m hopeful as we’ve almost made it onto dry land and Ross hasn’t asked about Danny and I.
Someone pushes Jules from behind and she falls forward. I slip my hands out of my pockets to catch her.
‘Oh, Jules. Are you OK?’ I say.
‘Yes, fine,’ she says, steadying herself.
I take my hands away and she grabs the one with my ring on.
‘Oh, Lydia, that ring is beautiful. Are those real diamonds?’
She’s pulled it right up to have a good look.
‘It’s beautiful the way they catch in the light, and that sapphire too. Did you get it for Christmas?’ she says looking at me.
I’m staring at the ring wondering how I’m going to explain this one away.
‘Isn’t it on your ring finger?’ says Jules. ‘Oh my God, are you engaged? Ross, have you seen that Lydia’s engaged? You’re engaged?’
‘I think we’ve confirmed she’s engaged,’ says Ross, as he puts a hand on Jules’s shoulder to stop her talking.
A few people turn and smile at us and a few of them mutter congratulations and I can’t look Ross in the eye. No one says anything and I’m almost willing Jules to start firing off her rapid machine-gun questions to break the silence.
‘Lydia and I had one of those, if-we’re-not-married-by-the-time-we’re-thirty pacts,’ says Danny eventually, ‘back when we thought that thirty was old and that if we were still unmarried then it would be the end of the world. Anyway, we had this great holiday together between Christmas and New Year and the pact got mentioned and we ended up engaged. Not that I needed the pact, I’d have married her anyway after that trip.’
I chance a look at Ross and wish I hadn’t. He looks so wounded.
‘Congratulations,’ he says after a long pause. ‘I’m sure you’ll be really happy with each other.’ He’s only looking at Danny. ‘Does that mean you’re moving down here?’
‘Actually, Lydia’s moving up to be with me. I’ve got a house in the Lake District and I’ve got my own business, so it makes more sense for her to move.’
Ross snaps his head round to look at me and tilts it as if he’s studying me.
‘I was going to tell you, but I wanted to do it face to face. I was waiting until I saw you next week at the pub quiz.’
‘Right. You’re giving up your job too?’
I feel my cheeks flushing.
‘After my long notice period,’ I say vaguely. ‘I’m hoping it won’t be too difficult to find something suitable up there. There are loads of hotels and I’m sure there must be something in events.’
I don’t actually know if that’s the case. It’s all been such a whirlwind and I haven’t had time to check. Perhaps I would have been crazy to have handed in my notice without lining something up first. This way I can get the event manager experience and look for a new job. The more I think about it, the more Danny’s going to absolutely agree with me that taking the promotion was the right thing to do.
‘Well, that’s just wonderful news. I love the Lake District,’ says Jules. What a surprise from the woman who loves everything! ‘All those little stone walls and the lakes and the little quirky shops. We’d love to come and visit up there, wouldn’t we, Ross? We’d be able to go hiking in the fells and row boats across the lakes. Ooh, it sounds wonderful.’
‘Hmm,’ says Ross noncommittally.
We finally follow the crowd out into the fresh air, but we’re not free yet. We all walk towards the main thoroughfare of the Dockyard.
‘I want to hear all about the proposal. I love hearing about proposals. Did you get down on one knee? Did you say yes straight away? It’s all so exciting,’ says Jules.
Ross is gritting his teeth.
‘It was all very low key,’ I say, waving my hand before I realise I’m w
aving the engagement ring practically in Ross’s face. ‘Bit of a misunderstanding at first.’
I trail off and I try not to look at either Ross or Danny – neither look impressed.
‘Right, well, we’re going to go and see the Mary Rose,’ I say, with relief as we reach the path that leads to it.
‘Lovely to meet you, Jules,’ says Danny. ‘Ross.’
‘Yes, see you again, I guess. And Lydia, I’ll see you at the pub quiz on Tuesday,’ he says.
Jules leans over and gives us each a quick hug, but Ross doesn’t move at first and eventually she has to tug him away.
‘A bit of a misunderstanding?’ says Danny raising an eyebrow when they’re gone.
‘Well, there was, but I felt a bit funny telling my ex about how romantic it all was.’
‘I didn’t realise that you were still friends with him,’ says Danny as he takes hold of my hand. ‘Like hang-out-and-go-to-pub-quizzes-type friends.’
‘Our break-up was mutual and there were no hard feelings, and he’s moved on, I’ve moved on,’ I say, pretending that we’d all just had a lovely conversation when in reality there was more tension than there is in the Golden Gate Bridge.
Danny nods. ‘I’ve just never been friends with any of my exes.’
‘That’s because you’ve probably been a heartbreaker, Danny Whittaker. Now, come on, let’s go and see this old ship.’
‘Ah, yes, we’ve got to go and see the lump of old wood. You know we could just go back to yours,’ he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me in closer.
‘And what, see another type of wood?’ I say, knowing what he has on his mind – what he always has on his mind. ‘No, come on, I promised you I’d show you my city and that’s what I’m going to do.’
‘OK,’ he says, pulling his coat further round him as if to brace himself for the strong winds that are accompanying the drizzle.
‘And then we’ll definitely go home after that.’
‘Deal,’ says Danny, leaning over and giving me a kiss.
We walk towards the entrance of the museum and I turn to look over my shoulder. I see Ross and Jules behind us. I see him turn his head away. I feel my stomach sink. I know what I said to Danny was true – that we’ve both moved on – but that doesn’t mean to say that news of our engagement didn’t hurt him; I’m sure that if it was the other way round I’d have been a bit thrown by the news.