If she’d employed half the exuberance that she’d shown just now, she would have floated over the obstacle course, instead of battling her way through it. Sophie and the older woman were chatting and laughing together, and Hannah was doing a little victory dance with her son. The thought that he wanted to do a very different kind of victory dance with her was enticing and entirely inappropriate, but it was the kind of image that was difficult to erase from his memory.
It would fade. Memories did fade when you were a stranger, always on the move. Matt had learned to travel light, making no lasting personal attachments to hold him back.
He’d been travelling light since he was eight years old. Always running, always trying to leave behind the bad memories. But they were the ones that had caught up with him now, crowding in and obscuring the sun. As clear as if it had all happened yesterday, and blocking the view of Hannah and her family.
Matt had known that his father had an uncertain temper and that he’d sometimes hurt his mother and made her cry, but he knew now that his mother had protected him from the worst of it, locking him in his bedroom or sending him to a friend’s house to spend the night. Afterwards he’d seen his mother wince in pain as she’d bent or reached for something. There had never been any bruises on her face, but as he’d got older Matt had begun to understand that was the one place his father had never hit his mother.
His father had hurt him once. Just once, but Matt still remembered the pain and the terror of being unable to escape the hand clamped firmly around his arm. Now he thought of it as a good thing, because it had been the final straw that had made his mother pack their bags and leave.
At first it had been exciting, a taste of the kind of freedom that Matt hadn’t even realised existed. They’d changed their names, using his mother’s surname instead of his father’s, and had embarked on a new life, in a new town. And then his father had found them and they’d run again. Another new life in another new town. Matt had forgotten how many there had been. In the end he hadn’t bothered to make new friends, because he’d known that he and his mother would be moving on again soon.
Matt watched as Hannah played with her son in the late afternoon sunshine. They seemed happy, carefree. No looking over their shoulders...
Until Hannah did look over her shoulder, straight at him, and caught him staring. Matt raised his hand, giving a smile, and she returned the gesture. Then he turned and walked away. He had no business wanting Hannah’s warmth. He needed her as a teammate, and that was just for the next few weeks. After that, he’d be moving on again.
CHAPTER TWO
LIGHTS, NO SIRENS. There was no lack of urgency in getting their patient to the hospital, but Hannah needed to be able to hear his laboured breathing. And Sophie needed to be able to hear if Hannah called out to her to stop.
The ambulance swayed a little as it turned into the hospital. Sophie specialised in giving their patients a smooth ride, but speed was of the essence. She’d radioed through to the hospital, asking for immediate assistance, then put her foot down.
They drew up outside A and E, and Hannah concentrated on monitoring their patient, a middle-aged man who’d been hit by a bus. Sophie climbed down from the driver’s seat, opening the back doors of the ambulance, and Hannah saw a tall figure in surgical scrubs waiting outside.
‘What are you doing here?’ As usual, Sophie voiced the question that was on Hannah’s mind. Matt Lawson should be in the operating theatre, not A and E.
‘Just helping out.’ Matt was smiling and relaxed, but when Sophie and Hannah manoeuvred the stretcher out of the ambulance he moved quickly, his eyes on their patient as he guided them through the melee of people in A and E to an empty cubicle. It wasn’t unusual for the doctors in A and E to place a call for specialist help from other departments when they were busy, and Matt must have been the one to answer.
Matt had clearly been told about her provisional diagnosis, and everything necessary to confirm it was laid out ready. He pulled on a pair of gloves, listening as she relayed Ben’s name and what she’d already observed about his condition. Taken together, his symptoms indicated that Ben might be in the early stages of a tension pneumothorax, and if it went unchecked the progressive build-up of air in his pleural cavity could prove fatal.
‘I’ll need you to help me lift him. I appear to be flying solo.’ Matt murmured the words to Hannah quietly, so that Ben couldn’t hear.
‘I’ll stay. Sophie and I are on our lunch break now.’ It looked as if everyone was busy with other patients, and Matt would need her help.
‘Thank you.’
The warmth in his smile prompted an inappropriate thrill in Hannah’s chest as her heart beat a little faster. She pulled on a disposable apron and gloves, trying not to think about how Matt’s assessment of her actions seemed suddenly all-important.
They lifted Ben onto the bed, and Sophie folded the ambulance stretcher, ready to take it back out to the vehicle. Matt was talking to Ben as he quickly examined him, and Hannah readied the ultrasound machine, handing the probe to Matt as soon as he turned around to look for it.
‘Great, thanks.’ Even that small approbation meant more than it should. Matt was studying the screen on the ultrasound carefully, his brow furrowing for a split second before he made his decision. ‘You were right, this is a tension pneumothorax. I’m going to do a thoracostomy—can you assist?’
Hannah nodded. Ben was conscious and Matt had undoubtedly left out the word emergency in describing the thoracostomy for his benefit. But they had no time to lose now. Hannah had taken Ben’s shirt off in the ambulance, and now she raised his arm, smiling at him as she placed it behind his head.
‘What’s...happening...?’ Ben began to move restively. Breathlessness and agitation were two of the symptoms that Hannah had already noted.
‘The doctor’s going to do a small procedure that’ll help you to breathe more easily. We need to you stay as still as you can.’ Hannah tried to reassure Ben and hold him still without getting in Matt’s way. She’d never before felt so conscious of the touch of another body, working next to her.
Ben flinched as Matt swabbed the area at the side of his chest, moving again so that he could see what Matt was doing. Hannah couldn’t blame him, but he had to keep still.
‘Ben, this will be over soon. I’m going to inject an anaesthetic now. Look at Hannah, not me.’
Matt’s voice was relaxed and calm. The kind of voice that you needed to hear when you were afraid and in pain. Ben quietened, his gaze fixed on Hannah, and she gave him a reassuring smile.
‘Very still now.’ She heard Matt’s voice behind her and leaned forward, preparing for the inevitable reaction when the needle went into Ben’s chest. Matt was working quickly and deftly, but no amount of skill could render the procedure painless.
Ben groaned, gripping her hand tightly, and Hannah heard a tell-tale hiss of air as the tension in the pleural cavity was relieved. Matt withdrew the needle carefully, taping a plastic cannula in place.
‘All done. You did really well.’ Matt smiled at Ben as he started to examine him again, to check that the procedure had relieved his symptoms. ‘Hannah and I are a team, you know. We’re entering a competition to win money for the hospital.’
This wasn’t just idle talk. Matt was assessing Ben’s ability to understand and reply.
‘Yeah? You’re lucky to have her.’ Ben’s face was less ashen now.
‘Don’t I know it.’ Matt smiled, and tingles ran down Hannah’s spine. She reminded herself that Matt’s sudden impulse to chat was for Ben’s benefit, not hers. ‘I’m rather hoping that she’ll keep me in line.’
Keeping Matt in line felt like a delicious and yet difficult prospect. Hannah shot a smile in Ben’s direction. ‘It looks as if I’m going to have my work cut out for me.’
‘Just let me know if he gives you any trouble.’ Ben’s hand found
hers again and Hannah gave it a squeeze. ‘I’ll sort him out for you.’
‘Thanks. I might take you up on that.’
Matt chuckled, and his glance of approval told Hannah that he’d seen exactly what she had. Ben was much less breathless now, and he was more alert. As Matt set about checking Ben’s blood pressure, one of the A and E doctors arrived with a nurse, ready to take over from them.
Matt briefed the doctor, while Hannah said goodbye to Ben. When she left the cubicle, she saw that Matt was already at the far end of the busy space outside but he’d stopped by the door and was waiting for her. Hannah stripped off her apron and gloves, and went to join him.
‘Spotting the early signs of a tension pneumothorax isn’t easy in the best of circumstances, let alone in the back of an ambulance.’
Hannah nodded. Matt’s easygoing humour had given her no clues about what he thought about the course of action she’d taken, but she was pleased that he approved.
‘We were close to the hospital, and the symptoms were inconclusive. Doing a thoracostomy in the back of an ambulance isn’t ideal, and I decided it was better to keep going so that Ben’s condition could be properly confirmed...’ She bit her lip. Matt’s gaze was making her feel very nervous.
‘You don’t need me to tell you that you made the right decision, do you?’
‘No, I don’t.’ She really wanted him to, but that had more to do with his blue eyes and his smile than it did with any medical considerations.
Those eyes, and the thought of how it had felt working next to him, were playing havoc with her senses. And Ben wasn’t here to concentrate her mind on other things. Suddenly it felt as if she was standing too close to Matt, but stepping back now was only going to betray her embarrassment.
‘I should be getting along now. Sophie’s probably waiting for me, with some lunch.’
Matt nodded amiably. ‘I’ll see you on Saturday.’
‘Yes. Saturday.’ Hannah tried to think of something friendly and encouraging to say, and came up empty.
As he walked away, she couldn’t resist watching him, telling herself that assessing the width of his shoulders was something to do with deciding on Matt’s ability to handle whatever they were confronted with on Saturday. She jumped, as Sophie seemed to appear out of nowhere and caught her staring.
‘I’d say you don’t have too much to worry about on the teamwork front.’
Hannah shrugged. ‘It’s different. We both knew what had to be done...’
‘Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. You two looked as if you were reading each other’s minds.’ Sophie grinned at her. ‘Come on. Let’s take our break while we can. I could murder a cup of tea.’
Hannah nodded. There was a lot to do before Saturday rolled around, and she could begin to feel nervous about that later.
* * *
The four teams had started to gather on the open space behind the hospital building at seven thirty, for the first of four Saturdays that were intended to single out one team to represent Hertfordshire in the finals of Hospital Challenge. Many of Hannah’s friends and workmates were there to watch, and the other teams had brought carloads of their own supporters.
Hannah had been issued with three red T-shirts, with the name of her hospital emblazoned on the back, and she was wearing one. The other teams were wearing blue, green and yellow, so that they could be picked out easily by the cameras. There was a large marquee that no one was allowed access to, and everyone was eyeing it with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.
Matt was nowhere to be seen. Hannah had greeted the other teams, shaking hands with them and keeping her eye out for the splash of red that she hoped might announce his arrival.
Finally she saw him. Strolling across the grass towards her, wearing the same red T-shirt, with a pair of cargo pants and trainers. They hadn’t been told what to expect, other than that anything might be thrown at them today, and Hannah had made the same decision.
‘Hello.’ She wanted to ask where the hell he’d been, but that might not be the best start to this new partnership.
‘Hi. Sorry I’m late.’ He looked at his watch. Matt wasn’t late, it was just that everyone else had been half an hour early. ‘I stopped by my office...’
‘Doing real work, then.’ Hannah tried to smile.
Matt shrugged. ‘This feels surprisingly real at the moment.’
One hint that he wasn’t as laid-back about all of this as he made out. ‘I’m a bit nervous, too.’
He laughed suddenly. ‘Did you get the pep talk from Human Resources?’
‘The one about how everyone’s going to be watching, and the good name of the hospital is on our shoulders? And how much the hospital can do with the cash prize, if we win?’ Hannah quirked her lips down. ‘Yes, I got it.’
‘And of course we both feel a great deal better after that.’ There was a twinkle in his eye, and Hannah felt herself relax.
‘So much better. Nothing like the weight of expectation to give us wings. I wonder what the other teams have up their sleeves.’
He nodded, motioning quietly away from the groups of people that surrounded them. Hannah followed him to a quiet spot in the shadow of the hospital building.
‘My office window is just up there.’
Hannah followed the line of his finger. The windows of the second-floor surgical suite looked out over the people milling around the marquee. It occurred to her that Matt hadn’t been up there, working.
‘What have you seen?’
‘I reckoned that the first thing we needed to do was assess the competition. We’re not the only team who don’t know each other all that well. Look at the blues and the greens.’
Hannah looked. The two green T-shirts were giving each other a high five, which she’d seen them do before, and it was obviously for the benefit of the people around them.
‘I’d agree with you about the greens. Too demonstrative.’
He nodded. ‘And the blues have their backs to each other most of the time.’
‘The yellows seem pretty tight.’
‘Yes, they are, I know them. Jack and Laura crew an ambulance, working out of Cravenhurst Hospital.’
Matt looked suddenly uncomfortable. Hannah had tried to hide her feelings but he must know that she’d wanted to be partnered with Sophie.
‘So we reckon that two of the other teams are like us, and don’t know each other too well. But the yellows are already very used to working together...’ Matt’s brow puckered in thought. ‘Maybe we just pretend we have a tension pneumothorax to contend with. We did pretty well there.’
Looking beyond the personal, and functioning as a team. A self-contained unit, relying on each other and seamlessly compensating for each other’s weaknesses. That was so easy to do with Sophie, and so very challenging with Matt. Relying too much on him seemed like stepping into a vortex, which would claw her down into the kind of relationship that she’d promised herself she’d never have with a man again.
So don’t look at him as if he’s a man. He’s a person, a fellow competitor.
As soon as the idea occurred to her, Hannah dismissed it as ridiculous. Matt was all man, and every nerve ending was urging her to be all woman in response.
‘Perhaps for a start we should tell each other our greatest weakness.’ Hannah puffed out a breath. You couldn’t just ask that of someone without being willing to go first. ‘I’ll start—’
He shook his head, laying his hand on her arm, and suddenly her greatest weakness wasn’t her tendency to plan everything down to the smallest detail. Her greatest weakness was Matt’s touch...
‘Why don’t you tell me what my greatest weakness is? When you find it. In return, I’ll tell you yours.’
That was a great deal more challenging. But this was supposed to be a challenge after all.
‘Okay. That could
work.’
‘And in the meantime, concentrate on our strengths. We’ll need those if we’re going to win.’ He gave her a gorgeous smile. ‘And we are going to win, aren’t we?’
‘Yes, we are. Do you want a high five?’ Hannah had just seen the greens do it again, and this time it seemed a little less confident than it had before.
‘Is that your thing?’ He turned his gaze on her, and she shivered as the vortex seemed to beckon her once more.
‘No, not really.’
‘Right, then. Let’s disappoint Human Resources and dispense with that.’
She liked his quiet humour. The way he looked for real answers, and didn’t just follow what everyone else did.
Then she saw it, glistening in his eyes. Despite all of his outward unconcern, Matt wanted to win too. He wanted to make them into a team that could win together. She’d been too quick to jump to conclusions about him.
‘How long do you suppose we’ll have to wait?’ There was obvious activity going on amongst the production crew, but no one seemed very interested in rounding up the contestants yet.
Matt chuckled. ‘Probably until our nerves are just hovering around fever pitch.’
He didn’t seem to be anywhere near fever pitch at the moment. If Hannah hadn’t known better it would have infuriated her, but Matt was obviously working things through in his own way. Maybe they’d just taken the first step in their team-building exercise.
* * *
Matt was used to waiting. The quiet, measured activity of the operating theatre, where lives hung in the balance and the slightest slip could make a world of difference to a patient, had taught him that being ready wasn’t a matter of straining at the leash.
The competitors had been called to a roped-off area to one side of the tent, but it didn’t look as if anything else was going to happen any time soon. Matt sat down on one of the benches that had been provided and Hannah sat next to him, fidgeting. He could almost feel the tension radiating out of her.
Winning the Surgeon's Heart Page 2