Crash and Burn (Love You Like A Love Song #1)

by Michele Callahan

  He heard her guitar before he made it to the door at the end of the hall. He raised his fist to knock, but her voice gut-checked him and he froze in place, listening. He’d never heard her sing the song before, and the melancholy lyrics made his chest ache.

  He tapped lightly with his knuckles and the music stopped. He heard her shuffling around on the other side just before the door swung open.

  “Is he gone?” She asked the question before the door was open all the way. Her mouth froze into an “Oh” when she saw him.

  “No. He said he really needs to talk to you.”

  One hand on her door, and one on her hip, she stepped back and swept her arm to indicate he had permission to enter. She was wearing a pair of black yoga pants and a hot pink hoodie. Her hair was down and he ached to run his hands through the long, blonde strands. Her face was clean of last night’s makeup and she looked cozy and relaxed. She looked real, and soft, and he wanted to touch her.

  Instead he stepped forward, careful not to bump into her. She closed the door behind him and he took another minute to examine her personal space.

  Everything in the room had a place and had been perfectly organized. The room smelled like her. He didn’t know if it was perfume, shampoo, or just her, but the soft scent of flowers teased him with memories of their night together and he switched from nervous to hard in a matter of seconds.

  Her clothes were hung in neat rows in the half-open closet, her shoes stood at attention in perfect rows. She had a music stand and desk, and every ounce of paper had been straightened and either placed in labeled folders or was out where she could actively work on them. Five wigs hung from blank-faced heads above her desk. The blue, red and blonde wigs he’d seen. However, the pink, jet black, and dark green would be interesting. Especially spread out over his pillow…

  Her hands were shaking, her eyes were wide and she couldn’t stop fidgeting. But she sat on the edge of her cream-colored duvet and pulled a pink pillow to her chest like a shield.

  “Why did you come here?”

  He looked for a place to sit and decided sitting next to her on the bed would freak her out, so he took the chair in front of her small desk. “I want to know why you ran away the other night.”

  She rocked back and forth, her eyes drawn to a framed family photo on her wall. It was Erin and AJ when they were very young, AJ looked pre-school aged and Erin not much older. They were with two older adults, and he assumed they were her parents.

  Her gaze remained fixated on the photograph and he cleared his throat. Had she heard him? Zoned out? “Erin?”

  “You do know that I’m leaving, moving to California in a few weeks?” She threw her pillow down on the bed and rocketed up to pace the small space in front of her bed in bare feet.

  “Yes.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “Because I wanted to see you.”

  “No.”

  “Then what’s the right answer?” That made her face turn an adorable shade of pink.

  “The truth.”

  “That is the truth. If you’re here for three weeks, then I want to be with you for three weeks.”

  “Why? That’s just going to make it hurt more when I leave.” Her words were forceful, but her eyes were sad.

  “I doubt that.” Letting her go was going to hurt regardless of when it happened.

  “You don’t even like me.”

  “What are you talking about?” She’d lost her mind. He didn’t remember any other woman he dated ever being this much of an emotional roller coaster. Of course, he’d never really cared before, either.

  “You only really like Eva James.”

  Chance burst out laughing and she whirled on him with her hands in fists at her sides. He thought it was cute until he saw the tears gathering in her eyes. She was serious.

  “It’s not funny, Chance.”

  “There is no Eva James. Don’t you understand that? She doesn’t really exist.” He rose slowly from his chair and approached her as if she’d bolt at any moment. She was clearly upset and he still had no idea what the hell was going on in her head. She wasn’t making any sense. “Eva isn’t a separate person, Erin, she’s part of you.”

  “No, she’s not.” Erin threw her arms in the air and motioned around the room with frantic energy. “Do you see this? This is me. And you don’t really know me at all.” She pointed to her desk. “Even my pencils are organized. I’m boring and slightly OCD. I don’t take risks, I don’t drink, and I don’t do one-night stands.”

  “Perfect. So what’s the problem here?”

  “So? Don’t you get it?”

  He walked toward her and sighed in relief when she let him pull her into his arms. She collapsed against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

  “Erin, I know I’m just a stupid, clueless man here, but will you please tell me what’s really going on in that pretty head of yours? Have mercy. If you don’t help me out here, I might never figure it out.”

  Her arms crept up around his waist and she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. The words drifted up to him through a cloud of feminine perfume and shampoo.

  “I’m leaving, Chance. Moving to L.A.”

  “I know, babe. It’s okay.” His arms tightened around her in an involuntary reaction. Derek had warned him, and he hadn’t listened. “Did you already sign?”

  “Not yet, but I have the contract in my bag.”

  “When do you leave?”

  “Soon. Two or three weeks. I haven’t told anyone. Even AJ doesn’t know.”

  “Isn’t he going with you?”

  “No.” Her silent tears soaked through his shirt but he just held her and waited until she was ready to talk. “They only want me. He said the rest of the band is too busy partying to actually work.”

  “He’s right.”

  Her shoulders shook and he could barely understand her next words because she had her head buried in his shoulder. “I know. But AJ is going to hate me.”

  That was probably true, and there wasn’t much he could do or say to change it. But he could do something for her. “Do you have a manager or anything? Someone to look over the contract?”

  “No.”

  “Give it to me. I’ll do it for you.”

  “You’re going to help me? Even after I ran out on you?” She sounded so shocked that he was truly at a loss.

  “Yes. I am. But why did you run? Why would you do that to either one of us?”

  He looked down at the top of her head, but apparently, she wasn’t prepared to face him yet because she didn’t lift her head from his shoulder. If anything, she burrowed closer to his heat. “I didn’t realize how much it was going to hurt. I thought it would just be a one-night stand.”

  “That’s all you wanted? A one-night stand?”

  She shook her head and he relaxed a fraction. “No. I wanted to know.”

  “Know what?”

  “What it felt like to be with you.” At last she lifted her head and looked up at him, the blue gray of her eyes more piercing than the startling contact lenses she’d had on when they hooked up. “You get a night of fun, hot sex with Eva James, and I get a memory to take with me when I go.”

  She tilted her head and another tear slid from her right eye. “I’m sorry, Chance. I just wanted to take a part of you with me. I know it was selfish, but I honestly didn’t think you would say no. I didn’t think it would matter to you that I was leaving. It was just supposed to be sex. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.”

  “That’s cold-blooded, Erin.” She flinched and he knew he’d struck hard, but damn it, he was a man, not a toy.

  “I know that now. But I thought you’d be like the rest of them.”

  “Like who?”

  “Other men.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Erin pulled out of his arms and walked to her desk. She made a major production of straightening her music and putting it all away in the folders. He stood still and wait
ed her out. She wasn’t getting out of this one without an answer, but the ritual seemed to help her gain better control and her tears stopped.

  “Men. That’s what I’m talking about.” She sat on the chair and he towered over her in the small space, arms crossed. He wasn’t trying to intimidate, but he didn’t feel like sitting down as she ripped his balls off and shoved them down his throat either.

  To his surprise, she changed direction.

  “I knew that night that you were different. That’s why I left.”

  “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

  She blushed a bright pink and the color had him intrigued. “You, you know, took care of me.”

  “And?”

  “And none of the guys I know would do that.”

  “Do what? Make sure you had at least as good a time as I did?”

  “Yes.” She turned a darker shade of red and the color spread to her throat and neck, just as it had when she’d been riding his cock like a wild woman. The reminder sent blood to the affected area and he stifled a moan. That was all he needed right now, a raging hard-on, when the woman he wanted was nowhere near ready for round two.

  Erin cleared her throat. “But not just that. You defended me in the bar, and made sure my back didn’t hit the car too hard, and asked me if I was okay after…” Her rambling stopped but it was too late, Chance began to understand what was happening here, and it pissed him off.

  “So, you left because I wasn’t an asshole?”

  “It sounds terrible when you say it like that, but yes, I guess I did. I didn’t want to hurt you. And I didn’t want to lead you on, knowing that I’m leaving.”

  “But if I’d been a dick, that would have made it better?” He raised his voice a fraction. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to throw her over his knee and spank her.

  “Yes. I thought I was treating myself to a one-night stand with a sexy stranger who wouldn’t mind the ride. I thought that by this time next week, I’d be nothing more to you than a long forgotten memory.” She stood and walked to him, lifted her hands and placed them flat against his chest. “I didn’t want to be with someone I cared about, and then have to leave. Don’t you understand? That’s so much worse.”

  She was right about that.

  Trouble. Capital T. Mitchell’s assessment of Erin drifted through his mind but Chance shoved it aside. He was too tired to think right now. Erin was here, with him, and she wasn’t crying, yelling at him, or running. For the moment, it was enough.

  He told his dick to take a break, lay down on top of her fluffy duvet and held out his hand to her. The past two sleepless nights he’d spent pacing his bedroom followed by the emotional roller coaster of dealing with Erin this morning had finally caught up with him. His head ached and his heart felt numb, kicked too hard, too many times to feel anything. All he knew was he needed some sleep, and he needed Erin next to him. The rest he’d figure out later.

  She didn’t look much better off, her yawn and drooping shoulders a sure sign that she was as exhausted as he.

  “Come here.” He let the last vestige of anger drain out of his muscles when she curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder and her leg tangled up with his. This was how he should have spent the last two nights, sleeping, tangled up with her. He reached down and pulled a soft white blanket from the foot of the bed up over both of them.

  “Chance?”

  “Hmm?” He kept his eyes closed but tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I know. Just get some sleep.”

  At last she stopped arguing and relaxed into him. He knew the minute her breathing changed and she drifted off. His eyes ached and his limbs felt like lead weights, but he lay there for a long time, content to hold her, even as his mind came to the only logical conclusion.

  There was no way he was getting out of this mess with his heart in one piece. Erin was leaving. He’d never ask her to give up her dream. No, he’d let her go. Hell, he’d insist that she go.

  But until then, he intended to spend as much time as he could with her, even though saying goodbye was going to rip his fucking heart out.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Erin sat at the desk in her room and polished off the final version of her new song. No one had seen it, and she intended to keep it that way until she got to L.A.

  This pain was too raw to share. She needed to put some distance between herself and this city before she could publicly bleed like that.

  It was time to tell the guys. It had been three days since her meeting with Wesley Shipton. Three days since Chance had claimed her body and broken her heart.

  Oh, she knew it wasn’t his fault. It was hers. Utterly. Totally. Completely. One hundred percent her fault for falling in love with him. She should have known. That first kiss had blown all her circuits and made her lose her mind.

  “Should have been a heads-up, girl. Kisses like that are dangerous.” Her reflection stared straight back at her from the small mirror mounted on the wall above her writing desk and for the first time without the wig, contacts, or wild makeup, Erin saw the fight and fire that she usually reserved for Eva James glaring back at her. “Oh, shut up. You wanted him, too.”

  The truth was the truth. Every single cell in her body had demanded to be with Chance from the moment he’d kissed her. Fighting that attraction had been like trying to swim against a tsunami. Impossible.

  But that didn’t change anything. Shipton’s offer was still on the table, and it was time to come clean to her brother and the band.

  Everyone was home, she could hear all three of the boys downstairs screaming at each other over a video game. They all worked odd jobs to keep the lights on and pay rent. Other than practice sessions or gigs, all four of them home at the same time had become pretty rare. Especially since Todd had hooked up with Melanie. Most nights he spent with her.

  And now that Erin had Chance in her life, she could totally relate.

  She squared her shoulders and headed down the stairs.

  “Hey, E. Grab a controller. Ricky’s getting his ass kicked.” AJ laughed and threw a banana peel at his friend’s head. Ricky dodged and Erin sighed.

  “You’re going to pick that up, right, AJ?” Always, she felt like his freaking mother.

  “Yeah. I’ll get it later.” He turned his attention back to the game and Erin settled on the edge of their worn-out couch, the frayed seams of the pads poking the back of her thighs through her jeans.

  “Hey, uh, guys. I need to talk to you.” She clenched her hands in her lap and waited. They ignored her. Typical.

  “Guys!” she yelled and Todd held up his controller to hit the pause button with dramatic flair.

  “Shut up, AJ. Ricky.” Todd bowed to her from his throne, which was an ugly old ottoman that AJ had scavenged at a garage sale last summer. “Erin has an announcement.”

  “Thanks, Todd.” Erin squirmed a bit on her seat and took a deep breath. Better to rip off the bandage with one brutal sting than drag it out. Right? “Okay. Guys, I hate to have to tell you this, but I’m quitting the band.”

  “What the fuck, Erin? We talked about this!” AJ threw his controller onto the couch next to her and sprang to his feet, fury and panic coming off him in waves. “You’re totally hot right now, E, and we’re finally booking some better gigs. I called Shipton’s office and left a message. This could be it. They might sign us! You can’t fucking quit now.”

  “Yes, I can. I quit, AJ. I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Do what? Follow your dream? Play fucking awesome music?”

  He stumbled and Erin realized he was drunk, already. At ten o’clock in the morning.

  Rage boiled up, days and weeks and years of putting up with his bullshit all exploded inside her like an atomic bomb. “Screw you, AJ. You’re drunk or stoned every time we play. I’m done. I’m done paying your half of the rent. I’m done paying stupid girls to suck on your dick. I’m done dragging
you out of trouble and supporting your lazy ass. I’m just done!”

  Erin stormed over and picked up the banana peel where it lay forgotten on the carpet. She threw it at AJ and hit him square in the center of his chest. “I’m done picking up after you. Time to grow up.”

  AJ roared and then hopped around like a lunatic with his fists at his sides, as if he couldn’t control himself, like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum. “No! Erin! You can’t quit!”

  “I’m done.” She looked from AJ to Todd, who didn’t seem the least bit upset, to Ricky, who met her gaze but said nothing. “I’m sorry, guys. I am.”

  AJ sank onto the couch next to her and wrapped his arms around her thigh where she stood next to him. “Please, E. Don’t do this. We’re about to hit it big. You’re going to ruin everything.”

  She leaned down and peeled his hands from around her leg like a mother does to a clinging kindergartener on the first day of school. “I’m sorry, AJ. But I quit. And I’m moving out. I already gave notice to the landlord. You can rent out my room or whatever, but on the 30th, I’m out.”

  AJ let go of her leg, then shoved at the couch to stand. “This is bullshit, Erin. Where are you going to go? You moving in with Chance? That it? You get a rich boyfriend and you dump us?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to wrestle her rage to a simmer. “No. I’m moving to L.A. I’m signing with Shipton Records.”

  Ricky dropped his own controller and stood. “What are you talking about, Erin? Why would they do that? Just sign you? What about the band?”

  Erin looked at Todd, then met and held Ricky’s gaze as she answered him. “Wesley Shipton said he won’t sign addicts or alcoholics. He won’t sign anyone who’s into drugs, or anyone he feels might lose control or cost him money. He did background checks on all of us.”

  “And Saint Erin is the only one who fucking made the grade, is that it?” AJ’s chest was heaving now and his eyes were bright pink, from unshed tears or smoking pot, Erin wasn’t sure.

  Ricky crossed his arms and scowled. “This is bullshit, Erin.”