Leanne stifled a laugh. ‘Thank you. I’m going to have to go to confession after this,’ she said, licking her fingers. ‘It has to be a mortal sin to eat something as divine like this.’
Carlo burst out laughing. ‘I love your humour. I’m so looking forward working with you.’
Lucilla directed her dark flashing eyes at Leanne. ‘So you said yes? Nobody told me this. And it’s my account.’ She turned to Carlo and let out a stream of rapid Italian, none of which sounded remotely friendly. Her diatribe was accompanied by wide gestures and angry expressions.
‘Jaysus, she’ll murder him next,’ Maddy hissed to Leanne. ‘Maybe we should leave?’
‘No,’ Leanne hissed back. ‘I want to watch. It’s like a drama in a movie with Sophia Loren and Mastroianni. Never knew it was the same in real life.’
‘I know. Exactly like one of those melodramas,’ Tony remarked under his breath beside Leanne. ‘But the storm will pass and they’ll kiss and make up. Again.’ He looked serious but there was laughter in his hazel eyes behind his glasses.
‘You sure?’ Leanne asked, wondering if he was having her on or laughing at her. ‘It sounds like the next World War is breaking out.’
‘And he hasn’t even replied yet,’ Maddy said. ‘Maybe he’ll just sit there and take it?’
‘He’ll start screaming when she pauses for breath,’ Tony said as if he was an expert on Italian dramas. And he probably was, Leanne thought, wondering if he had grown up with this sort of thing going on between his parents.
Right on cue, when Lucilla took a deep breath, Carlo opened his mouth and shouted: ‘Basta!’ Then he grabbed Lucilla by the hand and dragged her outside, where they could be seen gesturing and shouting without the sound effects.
‘Oh my God, such passion,’ Claudia sighed and applied a fresh coat of bright red lipstick. ‘So tiring. That’s why I never married an Italian. Had enough of that with my parents.’
‘Oh,’ Leanne said. ‘Did they have problems?’
Claudia laughed. ‘No, they were just typical Italians. Fought about everything and made up in spectacular fashion. It’s the way we do things.’
‘Maybe that’s better than ice-cold silence and indifference,’ Leanne remarked, thinking of her own parents, who had barely spoken to each other during the last tension-filled time before her dad had walked out. It had been frightening for a twelve-year-old girl to witness what felt like pure hatred between her parents. And then the echoing silence when Erik was no longer there. She pushed the thought aside, not wanting to think about that troubling time.
‘Could be, but the shouting isn’t nice either.’ Claudia shrugged. ‘I got used to it but I didn’t want that kind of relationship. So I married an American who ended up cheating on me. And an English writer who tried to steal all my money. Go figure.’
‘Your second husband was English?’ Maddy asked.
‘Yes.’ Claudia put her lipstick into her Dior clutch. ‘But enough about me. Have you seen the yacht I picked? Small but perfectly formed. Four cabins, each with a little shower and toilet. I hired a skipper too. So we’re all set if the boys have organised their sailing boat.’
‘I’ve booked it,’ Tony replied. ‘Nice eleven meter Bavaria thirty-seven. Very fast and just perfect for Carlo and me. I’ll tell him as soon as he—’
Maddy glanced out the window. ‘They’re hugging.’
Everybody in the restaurant was looking out of the window at Carlo and Lucilla, starting to applaud and laugh. After a moment Carlo ushered Lucilla inside and they returned to the table, smiling and waving.
‘What a performance,’ Maddy said to Leanne, laughing.
Leanne nodded. ‘Yes. Quite ridiculous.’
‘Silly, really,’ Maddy agreed. ‘By the way, did you take a shot of those amazing pizzas?’
Crestfallen, Leanne put her hand to her mouth. ‘Nooo. I forgot. It was so delicious I just gulped it all down in record time. I only have one of you with cream on your nose, but no pizza. Feck!’
Tony showed his phone to her, with a cheeky smile. ‘But I did. Couldn’t resist taking a shot of you with that pizza.’
Leanne stared in horror at the photo of herself taking a huge bite of pizza, her mouth smeared with tomato sauce, and strings of cheese hanging from her chin. ‘Jesus, I look a fright! Delete it or I’ll kill you.’
Maddy looked at it and laughed so loudly everyone stared. ‘It’s a scream! Come on, Leanne, it’s too good to waste. We have to have that.’
‘Yes, I think it’s fun,’ Tony agreed. ‘Is your blog all prissy and well-behaved? Would this not make you look normal?’
‘Who wants to look normal?’ Leanne grumbled.
Carlo took Tony’s phone and started to laugh. ‘It’s fun and cute. Kind of sexy, cara. Why not make those women laugh? And drool over the best pizza in the world?’
Leanne met his eyes and felt her face flush. He called her cara – darling in Italian. And he said she was sexy… She took Tony’s phone and looked at the photo again. It was funny, even if she looked a total mess. But why not? Did she want to be the perfect, prissy all-made-up model, or the fun girl on an adventure? There was only one answer to that question. She beamed at Carlo. ‘Yeah, you’re right. It’s perfect. Send it to my phone, Tony and I’ll post it with my next blogpost. I’ll call it “my date with a Neapolitan”.’
Carlo laughed even louder. ‘That’s funny. Because I’m a Neapolitan too.’
‘Double jackpot, then,’ Leanne quipped, directing a cheeky look at Lucilla.
Lucilla smiled back. ‘Sorry about the little upset. I was just annoyed at not being informed. That always makes me explode. What can I say, I’m a control freak.’
Leanne beamed her a smile. ‘But of course. That’d upset me too, big time. So,’ she continued, ‘am I right to think this is new fashion label is your client?’
Lucilla nodded and picked up her wineglass. ‘Yes, that’s right.’
‘Oh, great. So then Carlo has explained my idea?’
‘Yes, he did. I was disappointed at first that you didn’t agree to a full advertising campaign. That’s why I was angry with him. I thought he had blown it. But then he explained—’
‘When you stopped shouting,’ Carlo cut in.
Lucilla waved at him. ‘Yes, all right. I got excited. But now that I’ve thought about it, I think it’s…’ She paused and leaned forward, fixing Leanne with her dark eyes. ‘You, my friend, are a genius!’
Leanne sat back. ‘What? Why?’
‘Because you know the power of the word of mouth. That is the most difficult, nearly impossible thing to get rolling. And your subtle approach might just do that.’
‘Oh, eh…’ Leanne blushed. ‘It wasn’t me really. It was Maddy. She said I shouldn’t be too easy… I mean shouldn’t get involved, I mean…’ Leanne shot a look at Maddy, silently praying for help.
‘I just thought the subtle approach would be better,’ Maddy explained. ‘No screaming and shouting, just a little tease here and there. Make it mysterious, make everyone want it, but don’t push it in anyone’s face.’
‘Oh.’ Lucilla looked awestruck. ‘You Irish women. So smart.’
‘Ah sure, it’s easy,’ Leanne said and winked. ‘We just go with the flow, ya know?’ She smiled sweetly at Lucilla, knowing she had won the battle. But… had she won the war?
Ten
Our date with a Neapolitan in Florence.
As you can see by the mess on my face, we enjoyed a real pizza from Napoli (aka Naples in the lingo of your country) last night. How can I describe it? The crust, all puffed up, was light and fluffy with a hint of burnt edge and salt. The topping – oh what a delight. Tomatoes grown in volcanic soil, fresh oregano, succulent little anchovies and cheese from buffalo grazing on the plains near Naples. That combo was enough the make me drool and gobble it all up in seconds. I could have managed another one, but I didn’t want to look like a pig (as you can see, I failed spectacularly). Besides, there was the dessert to top al
l desserts. It’s called ‘Mont Blanc’ and consists of a messy, delicious pile of meringue, ice cream, whipped cream and a huge dollop of chestnut puree on top. Finger-licking good! I took a shot of Maddy eating it before it disappeared. Such a greedy-guts!
But let’s wind the clock back a bit to earlier and our wonderful lunch on top of an old palazzo overlooking this beautiful city (see second photo). Then our tour of the gorgeous town centre, which included a visit to the glorious Duomo and the amazing art museum called the Uffizi. The renaissance paintings are stunning. I couldn’t take my eyes off the faces and the costumes still so vivid today. Must say, though, I’m glad I don’t have to wear those clothes all day – tons of corsets and brocade would kind of cramp my style. Our walk across Ponte Vecchio was pretty good too, with views of the lovely river Arno and then those little stalls that sell all kinds of gorgeous fashion accessories. Maddy took the photo of the stunning jewellery. The photo of the single scull rowboat on the river was by moi.
And then… I had a hot date with my new partner. Strictly business, you understand, even if he is drop-dead gorgeous, as Neapolitan as the pizza I just mentioned and just as delicious! The business, you ask? Well it’s a secret for now, but all will be revealed on my Instagram account very soon. Do follow me there, if you aren’t already. What an amazing day we had!
Today, a little early morning shopping and then off to the Adriatic coast with the new recruits for our cruise (introductions later) where we’ll catch the ferry to Split. Ciao for now, belezze!
Leanne read through the post and pressed ‘publish’. She closed the laptop and climbed out of bed, knocking on the door to the bathroom she shared with Maddy. ‘Are you in there?’
Maddy opened the door, clutching a fluffy towel around her. ‘Yes. Just had a shower. Breakfast will be served on the terrace, and then—’
‘Shopping!’ Leanne filled in. ‘Can’t wait to hit those little boutiques.’
‘Claudia has promised to guide us. She knows the best ones.’
‘She’s a riot for an old bird,’ Leanne remarked. ‘How old do you think she is?’
‘Lucilla told me she’s sixty-two.’
‘Gosh, she looks years younger than that.’
‘Or maybe that’s what sixty-two should look like,’ Maddy suggested. ‘I’m finished here. I’ll see you outside in a while.’
‘Okay, catch you out there.’
Leanne jumped into the shower for a quick wash, then put on white linen trousers and a pink t-shirt and walked onto the terrace in the golden light of the early morning sun. ‘Morning,’ she said to Claudia, who, dressed in a classic beige linen shift and large designer glasses, was surfing on her phone. ‘Fabulous weather again.’
Claudia looked up. ‘It’s always fabulous this time of year.’
Leanne helped herself to orange juice. ‘Of course. Unlike Ireland, where a fabulous day gets huge headlines.’
Maddy cut up a fresh, juicy peach and poured herself some coffee. ‘I could get used to this,’ she said, taking a sip.
Leanne sighed and looked up at the bright blue sky. ‘Me too.’
Claudia put away her phone. ‘Your blogpost is fun, Leanne. Great photos.’
‘Thank you. Even the pizza one is great.’
‘Especially that one,’ Maddy said. ‘We must remember to take some good shots from our shopping trip. Some more funny ones.’
‘Yeah we need to funk it up a little,’ Leanne agreed.
‘But I would like to remind you not to include my name or any photos of me,’ Claudia said. ‘If you don’t mind.’
Leanne shrugged. ‘Yes, sure. No big deal. You’re travelling incognito?’
‘Something like that.’ Claudia checked her watch. ‘It’s early. We’ll have time to pop into the beauty salon beforehand.’
‘Uh… what?’ Leanne said. ‘Beauty salon? I’ve never been inside one, to be honest.’
Claudia stared at her. ‘You’ve never had a facial?’ she asked incredulously.
Leanne shrugged. ‘No, never, so shoot me. What about you, Mads?’
‘Same here,’ Maddy laughed. ‘I do the occasional exfoliating myself and maybe a facemask at Christmas, but that’s it really.’
‘Are you serious?’ Claudia asked, looking as if they had confessed to doing their own dental treatments.
Leanne nodded. ‘Yeah, we are. Is this a big deal?’
Claudia didn’t reply. With a determined look she picked up her phone and dialled a number. After short conversation, she hung up and looked from Maddy to Leanne. ‘All fixed. I got Tina to look after you. She had a cancellation. She said she’ll do a quick fix-up this morning, cleanse, tone and moisturize. All we have time for right now, but it’s better than nothing.’
‘A first-aid job for wrecks like us?’ Leanne asked, teasing.
‘Something like that,’ Claudia agreed. ‘We need to get primed before we go on the cruise. Especially Leanne, if you’re going to do fashion shoots with Carlo.’
‘Not real fashion shoots,’ Leanne protested, ‘just fun shots of us.’
‘In that case it’s even more important,’ Claudia argued. ‘If it’s going to be amateurish, then you need your skin to look good. You need to be positively glowing.’
‘Nah, count me out,’ Leanne retorted. ‘You go on though. We could meet for the shopping trip later.’
‘This a lot more important than shopping,’ Claudia said sternly. ‘In fact, I think I could get you into my very exclusive spa. Incredible place. You should be jumping at the chance. We could all do it together. My treat. I’ll cancel Tina and get you into this one.’ She picked up her phone without waiting for a reply while Maddy and Leanne exchanged a look.
‘We should do it,’ Maddy said. ‘Can’t hurt, can it?’
Leanne shrugged. ‘Yeah. Sure. Why not? And it could be a fun blog post too.’
‘I’ve booked for me too,’ Claudia announced when she had hung up. ‘So I’ll take you there and we’ll get looked after together. Massage, facial and waxing. Then a moment of relaxation to recover and we’ll be ready for the trip.’
Leanne nodded. ‘Okay, sounds painful, but we’ll try not to scream too much. Then we’ll have to hit the road in the late afternoon.’
‘All in the same car,’ Claudia said with a shudder. ‘But we’ll have our own cabins on the ferry, I take it.’
‘No cabins,’ Maddy said.
‘What?’ Claudia’s eyebrows rose in alarm.
Maddy shrugged apologetically. ‘They were all booked. But we’ll be in Split just after midnight and then in our hotel in Trogir. Tony has organised it all.’
‘Oh that was nice of him.’ Leanne picked up her phone and got up. ‘I’m going out to do a bit of shopping. See you later, lads.’
‘But the beauty salon,’ Claudia protested. ‘We need to wax. And exfoliate.’
‘Jaysus, I forgot,’ Leanne squealed. ‘Okay. I’ll just go and ask Lucilla about the clothes for the fashion pictures and go and get my bag. See you in the hall in a minute.’
As she left she bumped into Tony, who had just stepped out onto the terrace.
‘Good morning, Leanne,’ he said. ‘Where are you rushing off to?’
‘Morning,’ Leanne muttered, her eyes glued to her phone. ‘Got to go and see Lucilla. And then Claudia is taking us to a spa to cleanse and exfoliate.’
‘Sounds scary.’
‘You bet. But she says it’ll be worth it. I’ll introduce you to the new me afterwards.’
Tony laughed. ‘Looking forward to it.’
‘Not sure I am,’ Leanne muttered.
As she walked to her room she thought about Tony. At first, she had put him in the over forties age group, but this morning, with his cheeky grin, he had looked a lot younger. In fact, Leanne reflected, he had a young face with lines and grooves, etched into it not from age but from something stressful he must have been through. She knew he was a doctor and that he had worked abroad, but that was all. Where had he b
een? And what had he been through? She suddenly looked forward to knowing him better and to hearing his story, whatever it was. She had a feeling it would be interesting.
* * *
The spa was situated in a modern building only ten minutes’ walk from Lucilla’s apartment. There was no sign outside or anything that indicated that there was any such thing as a spa behind the heavy metal door with an intercom and a CCTV camera. Maddy and Leanne gathered beside Claudia while she pressed the buzzer and a tinny voice replied, asking who they were.
‘Claudia Fregene with guests for the appointment,’ she said, after having glanced up and down the street.
There was a buzzing sound from the door and Claudia pushed it open and walked inside, gesturing for them to follow her. The door closed behind them with a discreet click and they followed Claudia across a vast marble hall to the lift that took them silently to the top floor.
‘What kind of spa is this?’ Leanne asked. ‘I didn’t see a sign or a plaque outside the door downstairs.’
‘It’s private,’ Claudia explained. ‘With a very select clientele.’
‘Like the mafia?’ Leanne whispered to Maddy.
The lift came to a stop and they emerged straight into a luxuriously carpeted lounge where a blonde in a white coat was standing behind a counter.
She looked up as they approached. ‘Ah, here you are. Everything is ready.’
‘Ready for what?’ Leanne whispered in Maddy’s ear. ‘Maybe they’re going to drug us and remove our brains or something.’
Maddy giggled. ‘Yeah, this looks like something from a sci-fi movie,’ she whispered back.
‘What are you whispering about?’ Claudia demanded. ‘Come on, let’s get started.’
They were ushered into the changing rooms where they got into matching pink robes before being marched to the treatment room where, lying side by side on massage tables, they were pounded on and pummelled by three enthusiastic young women who spoke to them in broken English.
‘Ouch,’ Leanne groaned as her masseuse worked on her back. ‘This is not as soothing as I thought.’
A Holiday to Remember: An absolutely hilarious romantic comedy set under the Italian sun Page 8